


Our (Wayhaught) Cute Meet

by loveisgravity



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/F, First Meetings, Fluff and Angst, Slow Burn, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-26
Updated: 2018-04-05
Packaged: 2019-03-01 01:20:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 121,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13283925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loveisgravity/pseuds/loveisgravity
Summary: After breaking up with Champ, Waverly is just starting to feel happily single. She isn’t ready for a new relationship, let alone one that challenges her sexuality. But then her best friend sets her up- with a woman.





	1. The Set-up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my second draft. I’ve edited for errors and tightened up the language. No big changes, but I’d love to hear what you think. And if you spot any mistakes, please let me know.

Our (Wayhaught) Cute Meet

Chapter 1  
The Set-Up

 

As I ascended the stairs to Laura’s apartment, a feeling of apprehension grew in my gut. I knew I was being set-up, but I also knew I wasn’t ready. Laura was sweet, well-intentioned, and my best friend, but she had no idea what I was looking for. I could hear the laughter from the party spilling out into the hall. I stepped up onto the landing and took a deep, steadying breath.

 

A couple days earlier, we were several hours into a study session for our upcoming finals. Laura and I shared two classes, and we studied well together. We were equally driven to be successful in our studies.

“So Waverly, I was wondering if you are free on Saturday night? Mack and I are having some friends over to celebrate the end of the year.” Laura smiled sweetly, folding a large textbook closed. She lifted her hands above her head in a stretch. Her long, brown hair cascaded down her back. 

Laura’s boyfriend, Mack, called us the Bobbsey Twins. We both had long, brown hair, both petite with slim figures, both annoyingly positive (Mack’s words, not mine), and both extremely intelligent (definitely my words). 

“I don’t know, it’s only a week before finals start. I don’t want to get distracted, or worse, hungover.” 

Laura leaned in and nudged me with her shoulder, “Come on Waverly, we’ve been working so hard. We both need to blow off some steam.”

I hesitated, slowly pulling my books and papers together.

“Plus!” Laura sang, “You won’t be the only lesbian there.” She grinned at me. I let out a loud sigh. 

Six months ago, I broke up with my longtime boyfriend, Champ. When talking to Laura about it, I kinda revealed that it just wasn’t working for me anymore. I told her that I thought I might be bisexual. She was the only person I felt safe telling. But since that time, Laura kept trying to push me to explore it further. 

“Laura,” I huffed, “I’m not a lesbian!” I paused. “In fact, I don’t even know if I’m bi.” I said, exasperated. 

“Well, there’s one way to find out.” She said, cheekily.

I shook my head, and tried to hide my smile as I packed up my bag.

“Oh come! Please, for me?” Laura wrapped an arm around my shoulders. “I don’t want to be the only sophomore there. It’s mostly going to be Mack’s friends.”

“So, who’s the lesbian then?” I asked, slightly worried. 

Over the past couple months, I had been introduced to almost every gay person Laura knew. Most of the women were jocks, just like Champ, and that became an instant turn-off.

“Well, she’s in Mack’s senior legal studies seminar. They’ve been working together a lot on their senior thesis.”

“So she wants to be a lawyer like Mack?”

“Actually, a police officer.” Laura returned quickly. “Please come?” She asked, grabbing my arm, hugging it. “I want to hang out with you. Just hang out, no studying.” She placed a quick smooch on my cheek. I smiled back at her brightly.

“OK,” I relented, and Laura squealed in delight.

“Great! I’ll see you Saturday at 8pm. My apartment.” She said, while quickly packing the rest of her things in her floral backpack.

“Should I bring anything?”

“Nope.” Said Laura. “Just your adorable self.”

 

So this is how I found myself climbing the stairs, each step filling me with a little more dread. I really didn’t want to be set-up. I wasn’t ready. I didn’t want to explore my sexuality. It was terrifying enough in theory. I’m here for Laura, I told myself. And I can always leave early and get back to my studies. 

From the landing, I reached out to open Laura’s door. I could already hear the music seeping through the door into the steep hallway. Just then the door opened up before me, and there on the other side was a tall redhead with warm, brown eyes that captured the most beautiful smile.

And she had dimples. Dear God!

I felt like time stopped as I stared open-mouth. My tunnel vision saw only her smile, wide and welcoming. My heart raced and my palms began to sweat. 

“Hi,” she said, continuing to smile. I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts.

“Hi.” I managed to force out. Then from behind the stunning stranger, I saw Laura bound over.

“Waverly! You made it!” She yelled. “I’m so glad you’re here.” She pulled me into a tight embrace. As Laura stepped back, I peeled my eyes from the redhead to look at Laura and smile.

“I made it.” I quickly tried to catch my breath and slow my heart rate down. She jumped into my arms again and I hugged her back enthusiastically. I could smell the scent of whiskey on her as she held me tight. 

When she pulled back once more, Laura turned to the redhead. 

“Nicole, this is Waverly. Waverly, Nicole. She’s in Mack’s seminar.” I held out a slightly damp and shaking hand. Internally cringing, I hoped she didn’t notice. 

“Nice to meet you, Nicole”

“Good to meet you, too.” Her smile widened, causing her dimples to really pop. I left my palm in her hand a little too long, forgetting myself. 

“So,” Laura said, breaking the awkward silence, “Waves, let’s get you a drink.” 

She grabbed my arm, dragging me into the apartment. Nicole followed close behind. We walked into her small kitchen. Mack greeted me by the small sink, pulling me into a bear hug.

“Hey Waverly, good to see you.” He drawled out in his deep southern accent. 

Mack was big, huge really, a former high school football player. He had thick, dark brown hair and beautiful blue eyes. He lifted me off the ground in his embrace and set me back down gently as if I weighed nothing.

“Laura was worried you weren’t going to show tonight.” Said Mack. Laura winked at me. Clearly, they both were in cahoots. “So, you’ve met Nicole? She’s been a huge help this semester.” Mack flashed a boyish grin at Nicole. 

“The feeling’s mutual.” Nicole smiled back at Mack. Again with those dimples! I knew I was in trouble. She continued, “I can’t believe some of those idiots in that class made it to senior level.” 

Mack laughed in agreement. 

“God help us, if some of them actually become lawyers.” Nicole said with a smirk. 

“Or police officers!” Said Mack, raising his beer bottle in toast to Nicole. She smiled back, slightly blushing. 

“I need another drink.” Said Nicole, raising an empty hand in mock toast. 

Turning toward the fridge, Mack asked, “Wave, do you want a beer?”

“No thank you, beer isn’t my thing.” I replied, thinking back to all the high school parties flowing with cheap, crap beer. 

“I know what Waverly wants!” Laura spoke up. I flashed her a horrified look. “You’re a whiskey girl, right?” She winked at me again. I released my held breath, glad she didn’t say something snarky about wanting girls.

“Come with me, Waverly, I’ll show you where I hide my good whiskey.” Laura grabbed my arm and dragged me out of the kitchen and down the hall to her bedroom.

“So?” Laura asked, leaning into my arm as we walked down the hall. 

“So what.” I answered.

“Oh come on, she’s cute, right!”

“Maybe.” I looked down at my feet, trying to hide my blush.

“Maybe! Please, you’ve been drooling over her since you got here.”

“No, I haven’t!” I said.

“Uh huh.” Laura smirked.

“Ok, she’s kinda cute.” I relented 

“Yep, and those dimples are to die for.” Laura continued.

“Shut up. Are you sure you aren’t gay?”

“Just saying.” She crowed. I shook my head, laughing. 

When we got to her bedroom, Laura and I sat down on her bed. She reached over to her bedside cabinet and pulled out a large bottle of Maker’s Mark.

“I keep the good stuff in here, for select friends.” Laura smiled.

“Thanks, Laura.” I said as she handed me a shot glass that was sitting next to the bottle.

“Well, I know how much you hate beer.”

“Amen.” I replied, “I don’t know how anyone can drink that crap.”

“It’s not all bad.”

“All the beer I’ve tasted was.” 

Laura laughed at me. She poured us two generous shots of Mark and raised her shot glass. “To blowing off steam.”

“Here, here!” I agreed. We threw back our shots, and I flinched as the whiskey burned down the back of my throat. Still better than beer, I thought.

Laura refilled our glasses and raised her hand again. “To dimples!” She said and winked. 

I shook my head, then raised my shot. “To baby blues.” I added.

“Amen to that.” Laura said, dreamily. I chuckled, and we tossed back the second shot. 

“Want another?” Laura asked.

“No thank you! Are you trying to get me drunk?”

“Maybe.” Laura lightly punched my shoulder. “So, seriously, what do you think of Nicole?”

“Laura, I don’t know her! It seems a little soon to pass judgement.” I laughed.

“Fine, then let’s get to know her.” Laura plucked the shot glass from my hand and set the two of them down on the cabinet, and stood to walk out of the room. “Let’s not keep the lady waiting.” Laura chuckled.

 

Mack and Nicole had moved to the living room and were joined by a couple other people who I assumed were Mack’s friends. They both looked too old to be sophomores, and I knew most of Laura’s friends already. Mack and Nicole stood next to the open couch. Laura pulled me down next to her on the couch, leaving room next to me for someone else to sit on my other side. The conversation was centered on the university’s baseball team.

“Nicole,” Laura jumped into the conversation. “Don’t you play baseball?”

“Softball, I played fast pitch in high school, but I don’t play for the university.” She responded. She quickly looked down at me and then back at Laura. “I hurt my knee.” She said, patting her left leg. “Plus, I wanted to focus on my studies.” I smiled at her when she looked back at me. 

Just then, one of the other guys interrupted the moment. “You should see hot-stuff here play on our intramural team.” He gestured at Nicole. “She’s got a wicked pitch.” 

Nicole laughed at him, “It’s slow pitch, basically like lobbing watermelons at the plate.” 

The guy leaned forward and slapped her shoulder.

“Don’t sell yourself short.” He said with a twinkle in his eye. He was as tall as Mack, but much thinner. 

“Waverly, this is John, he’s also pre-law.” Nicole introduced the slightly scruffy guy, and I started to blush, hearing Nicole say my name. 

He smiled sweetly as he leaned over to shake my hand. Instead of shanking my hand, though, he lifted it to his mouth for a curt kiss and winked. My blush grew.

“You can call me Doc,” he said with a broad smile. “Everyone else does.”

“Doc?” I asked.

“It’s a long story,” Nicole replied. “And this is Xavier, but everyone calls him Dolls.”

“And I’m sure there is a great story behind that one!” I laughed.

The tall, extremely handsome man gently shook my hand. He had creamy smooth and very dark skin with a shaved head. 

“Actually, it’s my last name.” Dolls responded in a deep baritone, and sat back against an overstuffed armchair. 

“Oh,” I said, a little sobered. Dolls nodded in reply, clearly a man of few words.

Doc jumped into the conversation again. “So, Waverly, do you play softball, too? Can I recruit you for the team?”

“Oh, me? No! I don’t play any sports. I used to cheer in high school, but now it’s only yoga.”

Nicole looked back at me with an eyebrow raised. “A cheerleader, huh?”

“For three years, yep.” I said.

“I’d like to see that.” She whispered under her breath, as Laura spoke over her.

“I didn’t know you were a cheerleader.” She squealed. 

I blushed furiously, turning to Laura. “Sure, Champ was a football player, that’s basically how we maintained our relationship.”

“So, you’re into football players?” Nicole said, pulling my attention back to her. She had a quizzical look on her face.

“No, actually, I’m kinda sick of football players right now.” I responded.

“Hey!” Shot back Mack in mock-horror.

“Present company excluded.” I quickly amended. 

Laura stood up, “Honey, you look like you could use another drink.” She walked over to Mack, wrapping her arms around his waist, kissing his chest. “Come with me.” She smiled up at him. 

As they turned to walk back into the kitchen, hand in hand, I saw Nicole look back down at me. She slid into the space next to me on the couch. I tried to steady my breathing. 

“It looks like you need a drink, too.” Nicole said gently. I flushed again, feeling the two shots coursing through my veins. I really wish I could control my blushing.

“Actually, I’m good.” I smiled, and it felt like Nicole’s warm eyes looked right through me. I raised my hand to my chest, feeling exposed. “I’m not a beer drinker.” I added.

“Right,” she smiled, her dimples reappearing. I swallowed hard. “So, was it a bad experience with beer?” She asked.

“No, not really. I just don’t like the taste.” I replied. I looked over at Doc and Dolls who were engaged in their own conversation.

“Maybe you’re just drinking the wrong kind.” She whispered. 

God, why did that feel like a metaphor for my life.

“Maybe,” I said quickly, and then tried to redirect the conversation. “So, you want to be a cop?”

“A police officer.” She corrected.

“Sorry,” I said, hurriedly.

Nicole smiled again, “I like the sound of police officer better.”

I nodded in agreement. “More official,” I said, shrugging my shoulders. Nicole’s smile grew wider, across her whole face as she looked down at her feet. I thought I noticed a slight blush on her cheeks, and my stomach jumped. 

“So,” she looked back up at me, “if not beer, what else can I get you?”

“I’d love some water.”

“Water coming right up.” She braced one hand against the edge of the couch as she stood. 

“You don’t need to get it for me.” I tried to explain.

“It’s no problem, I was going to get something for myself anyway.”

“Thank you,” I added on instinct.

She stopped to look at me. “My pleasure,” She responded, flashing her dimpled smile, a twinkle in her eye.

My heart stopped dead-cold. Oh shit, I thought as I felt a heat grow through me. 

She quickly returned with two bottles of water, handing one to me as she sat back down. 

“No more beer for you?” I asked.

“I think I’ve had enough for now. I don’t want to lose my head.”

I tried to hide my grin behind the water bottle as I took a sip. “How very responsible of you, Officer.” I tried flirting. Nicole laughed out loud.

“Right. Well, I have a final on Monday, and our seminar thesis is due Friday. I have a lot of work ahead of me this weekend.”

I nodded my head, taking another sip. It suddenly dawned on me that if Nicole was a senior, then she’d be graduating in a couple weeks. A slight panic settled over me. I had only a couple weeks to get to know her before she left for who knows where. Crap.

I resolved to get to know as much as I could about her by the end of the party, without tipping my hand to my needling attraction. 

“So, how to do you become a police officer?” I asked.

“There are police academies all over the country, but I’m looking into a Master’s program geared toward becoming a detective one day.” She explained, then she lifted her water bottle to her lips, leaning her head back, stretching out her long neck to take a drink. I swear I could smell vanilla on her. I shook my head, trying to break my reverie before Nicole could catch me staring at her. 

“So is detective your end goal?”

“Sure, that or sheriff. I’d love to have the opportunity to run a police department one day.”

“So you’re setting your goals small, I see.” I said mockingly.

She laughed back at me. “I figure that this is the best time to get the advanced degree, before I start working. Keep my options open.” She said.

“You’re a planner,” I said, impressed.

“As far as that goes, yes.”

 

Just then, Laura called from the kitchen. “Hey everyone, we’re getting ready to make an announcement.” I looked quizzically at Nicole. Then Laura continued. “Can you all join us in the living room.” 

She and Mack came back into the living room along with the few others who were also in the kitchen. We were all crowded around, waiting for the couple to begin

“So everyone, Mack and I have an announcement to make.” Laura started, she reached out and took Mack’s hand in her own and squeezed it. Mack spoke up next.

“We invited you here tonight to celebrate a big moment for us. And it has nothing to do with finals. I’m graduating in a couple weeks and I knew I couldn’t let Laura out of my sight when I left the university. So, I asked her to marry me.”

“And I said Yes!” Laura shouted as a roar of cheers erupted in the small room. 

I shouted my own congratulations. Laura raised her left hand in the air, and there on her finger was a large diamond ring. I jumped up from the couch to give Laura a big hug. As I held her, I told her how happy I was for her and Mack. I knew they would make a great couple, they already did. Mack was a total teddy bear, a real gentle giant. We sat back down on the couch so I could get a better look at her ring. 

“So, how did he ask,” I said, while holding her hand, turning the ring back and forth to see the light catching on the angles of the diamond. 

Laura let out a sigh, “It was so romantic,” she began. “He took me out for dinner last week. We’ve been working so hard and he said he wanted to help me relax a bit.”

“Wait!” I interrupted. “You’ve been engaged for a week and you kept it a secret from me?”

“Oh, don’t be mad.”

“I’m not mad, I’m impressed. I thought I could read you like a book,” I laughed.

“Do you want to hear the story, or not?” Laura asked.

“My bad.” I held up my hands.

“So, he took me out for dinner. I thought we were going to Nick’s, as usual, but he took me to the new French restaurant on Main Street. I should have guessed that something was up at that point, but he said he wanted to try it before he left. So after dinner, we walked over to campus and wandered over to the quad. He was talking about how he was going to miss this and that. I was thinking to myself, you big dummy, you’re going to be visiting me all the time, right?” She paused.

“Right!” I answered back, still holding Laura’s hand, squeezing it gently before letting go.

“Well, I asked him about that, and he got really cagey. He said something about hoping he didn’t have that excuse to come and visit. And I was like, What!”

I nodded my head following the story.

“I was thinking, is he breaking up with me? I had no idea what was going on.” Laura explained.  
“Anyway, I’m panicking and then he got down on one knee and my stomach hit the floor. I swear to God, Waves, I couldn’t breathe. I suddenly knew exactly what was coming, and it felt like the whole world just stopped. My heart was jumping out of my chest…” 

At this memory, Laura began to cry and I couldn’t help myself. When someone else is crying, I start to cry, too. She leaned over and we hugged on the couch, weeping. I was so happy for her. She took a deep breath and leaned back squeezing my forearms in her palms. 

“Anyway.” She tried to restart, wiping her eyes. “Fucking mascara. I knew I shouldn’t have put any on.”

Nicole reached an arm around my body to hand Laura a Kleenex. I completely forgot she was sitting there. Then she handed a Kleenex to me with a soft smile, and I melted. 

I grinned back weakly through my tear-streaked face. God, I though to myself, I must look awful. 

Laura placed her hand on my arm, getting my attention back. I turned to face her, using the Kleenex to wipe my eyes, feeling a little more self-conscious with Nicole sitting behind me.

“So Mack was down on one knee, I was having a panic attack, and he said that he hoped he didn’t have a reason to come back to visit because I would go with him after he graduated and marry him. He said he couldn’t live without me that long.” She paused to wipe her eyes again, and I felt the sting of new tears in my eyes. She blew out a hot breath to calm herself.

“Then he said, Laura Elise Baton, will you marry me and make me the happiest guy in the world.” She choked up a bit saying this, and I felt my tears run free again. I’m such a sap.  
She hiccuped a bit, continuing, “and I squeaked out a yes, just like this, and, God I was a mess,” She laughed at herself, then looked me in the eyes. “Oh God! I can’t look at you right now.” She looked down at her feet. “I’m crying, you’re crying.” She leaned around me, keeping her hand on my arm. “Pardon me, Nicole. I’m going to steal Waverly away for a bit. We need to clean up.” 

Nicole silently nodded and watched as Laura pulled me up and hugged me before leading me down the hall to her bathroom. 

Once she closed the door behind us, I asked. “How were you able to keep this under wraps?”

Laura laughed. “I felt like I was going to burst all week.” She admitted. “I’m so glad you came to the party. See, I wasn’t just trying to set you up.” She winked.

“I love you, you know, and Mack. I’m so happy for you.” I said hugging her again.

“Actually, there is another reason I hoped you would be here.” She smiled at me. “I have a question for you, too. Will you be my Maid of Honor?”

My mouth fell open for a few seconds before I squealed out my own yes. I hugged Laura tight, and we hopped around the bathroom, screaming, crying, and laughing. 

“Oh my God! This has been the best day ever.” I exclaimed, then taking a bunch of tissues, we began cleaning ourselves up. We giggled like school girls skipping class. We talked about her timeline, what we wanted to do, and who else should be bridesmaids. 

 

When we finally emerged again, the party had taken a turn for the more intoxicated. Laura disappeared back into her room to continue her clean up. Mack and his buddies had all started throwing back shots while making ridiculous toasts. I noticed that Nicole was no longer on the couch. I glanced around the room, hoping to spot her. She was no where to be seen. 

Shit! I guessed she was using the other bathroom. I sat back down on the couch and waited for her to return.

Mack looked over at me, “Nicole had to leave, she asked that I say goodbye for her.”

“She left?” I asked trying to keep the panic from my voice. “How long ago?” 

My mind was racing back to our last conversation. How was I going to find her now? I was going to ask for her phone number before I left, maybe find an excuse to give her a hug or quick kiss on the cheek. Friends do that, right? But now she was gone and I couldn’t do any of those things. More importantly, I didn’t know her last name, her number, nothing.

Mack replied, “Not long, she just left a few minutes ago.”

“Oh, good,” I tried to sound causal. “Well, I should probably go, too. So much work ahead of me.” I stood and reached out for Mack, “Congratulations. I’m so happy for you both.” 

“Thanks, Waves. It meant a lot that you were here.” 

I smiled at him. “Say goodbye to Laura, I’m going to see if I can find Nicole outside so I can say goodbye to her in person.”

“Sure,” he smiled. 

 

I grabbed my purse and rushed out the door, silently praying that she would still be in the parking lot. As I got to the bottom step, I quickly looked around for her red hair, but I couldn’t see anyone. I ran out into the middle of the parking lot to scan the cars for red hair. I had no idea what kind of car she drove. My stomach was sinking as I realized that I lost my opportunity to learn anything more about her. Shit! Shit! Shit! Why didn’t I ask for her number when we were sitting together? I held my breath and tried to think of a solution. I could ask Mack or Laura for her number, but then I’d give them the satisfaction of knowing they were right. No, I wasn’t ready to face that. Nicole said she wanted to be a detective. Tomorrow morning, I’d hit the Student Union and do a little detective work of my own.


	2. Detective Waverly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will Waverly find Nicole before it’s too late?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, this is my second draft. Tighten up the language and corrected errors. If you spot any more, please let me know. I also added a little more humor.

Chapter 2  
Detective Waverly 

 

Sunday morning, I stopped over at the Student Union on my way to the library. I knew there was a book of the Class of 2015 that had pictures with names under them. Laura and I looked up Mack when it came out. All I had to do was search through the photos for Nicole and then I’d have her last name. That is, assuming she actually submitted a photo for the book. Some seniors don’t provide a photo for the book, choosing only to have their names published. 

Crap. Well, there’s a good chance she did submit a photo. Most seniors do. 

As I walked over to the book, I realized this might take a little longer than I first thought. There were over 3,000 graduating seniors in the College of Arts and Sciences alone. That’s not even counting the other colleges. I took a deep breath and flipped to the first page of photos. I figured that there was a good chance that she was in the College of Arts and Sciences, if she was completing a senior seminar in pre-law. But that was just an assumption, and we all know what that makes us. 

I shook my head in frustration as I slowly turned the pages. Why didn’t I ask for her last name? I know I didn’t give her my last name, assuming she was looking for me. 

Then a cold chill ran down my back. She left without saying goodbye, what if she’s not looking for me, what if she doesn’t care to find me again? Oh shit, what if I totally misread her. I quickly tried to run through the prior evening in my head. Suddenly all the interactions felt really one-sided. 

Maybe she wasn’t attracted to me and I’m going all crazy-lady trying to find her. I closed the book, trying to contain my emotions. I had finals to study for, this isn’t what I needed right now. I forced myself to step away from the book and head out toward the library. If fate wanted me to meet Nicole again, it would just have to take a more direct hand in our meeting. 

 

After studying for three hours straight, I went back to the Student Union to find some lunch and maybe take a second look at the seniors’ picture book. I got through to the letter K names and gave up when I realized just how much my neck hurt from looking down at the book. This wasn’t working. I tried to think if there was an online student directory, but I remembered there wasn’t. For some stupid reason, the school didn’t want us being able to cyber-stalk other students. Crap. 

Maybe I could try Facebook. I pulled out my phone and did a quick search of Nicoles at our school with the words Pre-law and Police Officer tagged. Thousands of hits, crap crap. And I don’t know if she even uses her own photo on her Facebook account, she could have a picture of her pet fish for all I knew.

I walked over to the cafeteria, disgruntled, and grabbed a veggie sandwich with an Italian dressing packet. As I approached the drink stand, I thought I caught a view of red hair in my peripheral vision. I whipped my head around, nearly tossing my sandwich on the ground, but it wasn’t her. What the hell was I doing? I resolved to buy my lunch, eat without thinking about Nicole, and get back to my studies. I placed my food down on the counter, straightened out my dress, tossed my hair back, and walked to the cashiers. I was a happily single Virgo and this was becoming too much of a distraction. I had real work to do. 

But then a little voice in the back of my mind said: when you think about what you really want to do, it’s Nicole. Shut up, brain.

After failing to concentrate at the library that afternoon, I decided it was time to suck it up and call Laura. I needed to get Nicole’s number, if for no other reason than I needed to get back on track studying. As I sat in the library, I found myself looking up at every person who walked in or out, hoping by fate to catch Nicole. But I didn’t have time to play detective. And fuck fate. So I dialed Laura’s number.

“Hi Laura, how’s it going?”

“Waves, where’d you disappear to last night. I missed you!”

“I know, I’m sorry. Everyone was getting really drunk, and I couldn’t afford to have a hangover this morning. How are you feeling? Did you continue drinking with them?”

“No, I had another shot with Mack and his friends, but then went to bed. I’m glad I did, too. Mack was up vomiting last night. At least I had my head straight.”

“Eww. Gross. I’m sorry. How’s he doing now?”

“Better. I told him if he wants to marry me, he needs to figure out his limits now, because I’m not cleaning up after him on our honeymoon.” Laura laughed. 

“Right.” I hesitated to see if Laura would continue. When she didn’t, I jumped in. “So, are you going to be studying tonight?”

“No, I’m fried. I don’t think I can read another page right now. How about you?”

“I’m going to try a little more this evening. Actually, I was wondering if you had Nicole’s number? She said she was going to be studying tonight, too. I was just thinking that if…”

“AH HAH!” Laura yelled into the phone. I held my cell away from my ear. “I knew you’d like her. She’s really great, Waves.” 

“Fine, you win. Now will you give me her number?”

“Of course.” I could hear her smirk right through the phone.

“Also, what’s her last name?” I asked.

“Hot.”

“Hot?” I repeated.

“H-A-U-G-H-T” she spelled out.

“Haught,” I grinned. “Of course.” Suddenly Doc calling her hot-stuff last night made much more sense.

“You should definitely give her a call.” Said Laura and then she sent me a text with the number.

“Thanks, Laura. So you don’t think it will be weird if I call her and ask to study with her?”

“Not at all. Go for it, Waves. You deserve to have some fun.” 

Fun, I thought to myself. Maybe after finals, but then hopefully it won’t be too late.

 

Back in my apartment, sitting on my quilted bed cover, I picked up my cell phone and stared at the 10 digit number. So close and yet so far. I debated internally if I should call or just text. I started to pull at the fluff balls on my blanket, absentmindedly. 

I thought texting might be weird because she wouldn’t expect me to have her number. If I called, I could explain quickly how I got her number and then move on to more important matters. 

Like asking her out? Ugh! 

I grabbed a fistful of blanket and pulled. I didn’t think I could do this. It was so much easier with Champ. He just walked up, told me I was pretty and that he wanted to go out with me. Done and done. But with Nicole, my heart was racing just thinking about calling her. How was I supposed to get through a whole conversation with her, if I could barely breathe just thinking about it. So I went with my gut and wrote out what I wanted to say. I’m nothing, if not a planner. It would help me keep my head together if I got too nervous while talking to her.

I got out a piece of paper and physically wrote out exactly what I was going to say to her. Then I practiced it a few times out loud to make sure it didn’t sound stupid. I took a deep breath, picked up my phone, and hit call.

I listened to the buzzing of the phone ringing in my ear. Looking around my room, I concentrated on my breathing. Another buzz. Then a third. A forth. And then a pick up.

“This is Nicole, leave a message.” Shit, it’s her voicemail. 

“Hi Nicole, this is Waverly. Waverly Earp. We met at the party last night. I’m sure you remember me, I mean, I hope you remember me. Crap. Anyway, you said you were going to be studying today, and I was wondering if you want to study with me because I need to study too, and I thought maybe we could study together, if that’s ok with you, I mean.” I took a deep breath.

“So call me, ok. Bye!” 

And I hung up, my hands shaking worse than before. I could feel the adrenaline pumping through my body. “Oh shit, I forgot to give her my number.” I said out-loud to myself. 

Hopefully her phone captured my number when I called, because I didn’t want to call back. Too stressful. 

I stood up, rolled my neck out, and did a couple stretches to calm myself down, then sat on the bed. I kept glancing down at my phone. No messages. I walked out to my kitchen to make some tea. Still no messages. 

Ok, this is stupid, I thought. 

I picked up my Latin notebook and put on some music. I sat at my small dining room table to study a bit, holding the tea in my perpetually cold hands. I cannot let Nicole dictate how my gay goes, I mean, day goes. Fuck.

I looked down at my watch, 3pm. If I could get a little more vocabulary under my belt, I’d feel better about my accomplishments for the day. 

Just as I got settled, I felt my phone buzz. I jumped up and grabbed it from my back pocket.

LB> Hey beautiful, I’m heading over to library. Second wind. Wanna join?

I tried bite down my disappointment, and responded.

WE> Hi Gorgeous :) I’m just settled in at my apartment. Next time. ;P 

LB> No prblm. Did you call Nicole? ;)

WE> yes, but no reply. Better bury my head in the books.

Just then a new text came in.

NH> Hi! Just got home, going to study at my place. You’re free to join. (And of course I remember you). Let me know.

I stared at the message. My whole body was vibrating and my smile hurt. I quickly typed out a response.

WE> Great. Sorry about the crazy message, I’d love…  
Wait- edit!

WE> Great. Sorry about the crazy message, Studying sounds nice. I hope I’m not imposing.

NH> No imposition at all. I’m at 223 Maple St. #202

WE> Thanks. I’ll be there in 30

I jumped up and down, strangling a scream in my throat. YES! I quickly evaluated my outfit and ran into my room to change. 

Ten minutes later, I was in a cute, flowy, short sleeved sundress and sandals. It was probably too little for the weather, but I loved how it felt and looked. Plus, I needed all the confidence I could get. I knew I looked cute in this dress, in fact, I owned cute. I grabbed my bag with all my work, took a deep breath, and stepped out the door.

 

Pulling up to her apartment, I scanned the two story, red brick building. This was in a newly developed part of town. It’s where mostly graduate students lived, so I wasn’t very familiar with it. To live this far away from campus, she would need a car and on-campus parking.   
Slowly, I began walking up the wooden steps to her door. The stairs leading up to her apartment were on the outside of the building, and led to a small deck just outside her door. Next to her front door was a large wooden bear that looked like it had been carved from the trunk of a tree. It was holding a small “welcome” sign in its paws. As I climbed up to her deck, I smiled at the bear, wondering where she got it. I took a couple more deep breaths and knocked. 

A few seconds later, Nicole opened the door. She was wearing a thin, gray, ribbed sweater that hugged her curves and fitted, dark blue jeans. From her doorway, I smelled the scent of vanilla waft out. Her whole apartment smelled like that, plus a hint of perfume that I couldn’t place. Her hair was up in a ponytail that hit just above her shoulders. Her eyes were almost as wide as her smile as she glanced down at my dress.

“Wow.” She muttered, then cleared her throat and greeted me properly. “Hi Waverly, you look really nice. Come on in.” She gestured into her apartment. 

I couldn’t take my eyes from Nicole as I stepped over her threshold. Once inside, though, I gasped as I first looked around her living room. Nicole stepped behind me to close her door. 

The front room looked huge, especially compared to my small living room. It was an open-plan: living room, dining room, kitchen, with a vaulted ceiling and a large window looking out over the deck in front. The space was light, open, and so welcoming. I loved it already. I could see some books and papers piled on her living room table in front of a three person, over-stuffed couch. Nicole stepped next to me as I entered the room. 

“This is awesome.” I said letting my eyes run all over the room. 

When I looked back at her, I saw she was watching for my reaction, smiling. I suddenly realized just how much taller she was than me, I felt like a kid standing before her favorite teacher. I found my voice again, “I love your apartment.”

“Thanks. It’s a little far from school, so it means I have to drive to everything, but I love the quiet and the space. There aren’t many house parties this far from campus. Just me and a bunch of business school folks.”

“Business school, huh?” I asked.

“Yep, and some law school, too. That’s how I found it. A friend lived out here, I took over the apartment when she graduated from law school.”

“Oh, and how did you find your cute bear?” I pointed back at her front door. 

“That was a birthday gift from my Mom,” Nicole laughed, “a little reminder of home.” 

“Where’s that?”

“Oregon.”

“Oregon? So you’re a long way from home.”

“Sort of. This feels more like home, now.” 

I couldn’t help my smile. I wanted to wrap my hands around her, but resisted. I had to remind myself that I only met her the night before. Somehow, it felt like a lot longer. 

“So, you ready to study,” she asked.

“Absolutely.” I hoisted my large bag a little higher up my shoulder. Nicole stepped around me to lead me into the living room area and gestured at her couch. 

“This is where I’m studying. You’re free to join me if you want, or you can use the table over there.” she said, pointing at her dining room table. 

“I think the couch looks nice.” I smiled back at her, then walked over next to her and sat down. When Nicole sat down, she left about a foot of space between us, and I immediately started to think of ways to cut that distance down.

“So what are you studying?” Nicole asked, as she watched me unpack my bag.

I pulled out my Latin notebook and my Ancient Civilizations textbook, as well as some cute pens and a notepad. “I’m interested in learning more about ancient cultures and their languages. So for example, I love seeing how first civilizations have influenced the Latin and Greek languages. It’s really fascinating. You wouldn’t think they were at all related, but then you start seeing little things come through in how the Romans and Greeks structured their language, and its from Mesopotamia.” I looked back at Nicole. She was watching me.  
“I’m sorry, I ramble sometimes. You can tell me to shut up.”

“No!,” she replied. “I like hearing you talk, I can tell you’re really into all of it. I wish I were as excited about legal vocabulary.” She lifted up one of her vocabulary lists to show me. 

“Ooh, this is mostly Latin! Cool! I didn’t realize that you use some much Latin for law.”

Nicole laughed at me gently, “I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone in our class get excited about the vocabulary.” She shook her head. “You really are something else.”

I scooted closer and nudged her with my elbow. “I think it’s kinda cool. We’re sort of studying the same thing.”

Nicole raised her eyebrows and nodded in a quick agreement. “Maybe we could quiz each other later.” 

“You are on!” I said back.

“But I have a feeling you’re going to enjoy it more.” 

I nudged her again, this time with the side of my body. “We’ll see about that.”


	3. Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The study date continues...  
> Waverly navigates the pitfalls of lesbian humor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second draft, tighter language. I’d love your opinions.  
> Thanks.

Chapter 3  
Dinner

 

We were buckled down studying, and I was surprised by how comfortable I was sitting next to Nicole. I thought I was going to be completely distracted by her presence. Instead, I felt calm and focused. Except for the chill in the air. After about an hour, I noticed my hands were starting to shake from the cold. I tried to tuck them under me to keep Nicole from noticing, but I was regretting my decision to change into a summer weight dress. Cute be damned, I was really cold. 

After a bit, even Nicole noticed how I had to pull my hands out from under my thighs every time I needed to turn a page. 

“Waverly, are you cold?”

“Oh, me, well, a little. I’m always cold. It’s no big deal.”

“Your hands are turning blue.” She gave me a hard look.

I tried to laugh as a shiver ran through my body. “Ok, I’m cold.”

“You could have said something. I don’t want you to freeze. I tend to run a little warm.”

“You mean you don’t run Haught?” I smirked. Nicole laughed at my pun.

“Very clever, Earp.” She winked at me. My smile grew wide on its own. “Here, I have a blanket you can use, if you want.” 

She reached her arm behind my back, brushing her chest across my arm. I stiffened, trying not to move, trying to pretend that I didn’t feel her breasts pressed against my arm. 

This is normal. I’m fine. 

She pulled a blanket down from the back of the couch and handed it to me.

“Thanks.” I breathed out. I pulled my legs up under me to get them under the blanket, one of my knees ended up resting against her thigh. I looked up at her as I straightened out the blanket around me. “Do you want to share?” I asked, secretly hoping she’d say yes.

“I’m fine, thanks.” She took one of my hands in hers. Her palms were so warm, they almost burned my freezing fingers. 

“Whoa, you are warm!” I grabbed both of her hands with my own, and slid mine in between hers. The warmth spread up my arm.

“Would you like some tea or something?” Nicole asked.

“Actually, that would be great.” 

I watched as Nicole dropped my hands, stood up, and walked to her kitchen. A part of me missed her presence by my side, but a warm cup to hold was really appealing. “What kind of tea do you have?” I asked.

“Several: Chamomile, green, earl grey, peach, cinnamon apple…”

“What’s the deal with lesbians and tea?” I asked under my breath.

“What?” She asked from across the room.

“Nothing. How about Chamomile.” 

She turned back around to start boiling the water. I bit my lip.

 

When she returned with the hot cup of tea, she asked if I was hungry.

“It’s almost 5, did you want to order in?” She asked.

“That sounds great. What do you like?”

“Well, pizza is easy.”

“I should mention that I’m vegan.” I braced myself for her response.

“Oh, ok, well pizza’s out.”

“Not necessarily, Tony’s has a good vegan pizza.”

“No offense, but pizza without cheese isn’t pizza.” She smirked. 

I huffed and gave her my most reproachful gaze. I’m pretty sure I missed my mark, though, because she started to laugh.

“Well, how about Chinese? We can both get what we want and they deliver.” She smiled, a genuine smile, and I couldn’t help but return it.

“That sounds great.” I agreed.

 

After ordering, I draped myself in her blanket and sat on the floor between the couch and her low, living room table so that I could go through my flash cards. 

Nicole sat next to me on the couch. She snuggled a foot under the blanket and a cold toe brushed against the back of my thigh. I shrieked, practically jumping up. 

“I thought you said you were always warm!”

“My hands-yes, my feet-not so much. Mind if I borrow some of the blanket?”

“You gotta warn a girl!” I emphasized, before spreading the blanket out a bit more to wrap up her feet. “And keep your cold toes away from my legs.” I said. 

She tried to sneak another toe against my thigh while laughing.

“Hey!” I shouted, smacking at her foot through the blanket. She stopped and I turned to look back at her. She was smiling and biting her bottom lip playfully.

“You think you’re cute, but you’re really not, Haught.”

“Oh, I know I’m cute.” She winked and smiled broadly at me. Shit, shit, shit.

I tried to change subjects, “So do you know where you’re going after you graduate?” 

“After I graduate?” She asked and looked puzzled. “I’m not graduating this year.”

“Oh, my bad, I thought because you were doing a senior seminar with Mack that you were graduating, too.” My chest suddenly felt a little lighter knowing she wasn’t about to leave.

“I’m doing a joint degree, pre-law and chemistry.”

“Chemistry. Really! I have a good friend who is a chem major. Do you know Jeremy Chetri?” 

“No, but there are a lot of us. Is he a senior?”

“No, a sophomore.”

“Ah. Well, I still have to complete some credits for chem along with a chemistry seminar.”

“Wait, you have to do two seminars?” I asked.

“Two degrees, two seminars.” She shrugged her shoulders.

“So I get pre-law to become a police officer, but why chemistry? Is it for the forensic science?”

“Actually, it’s for my dad.” She started and then paused. I could tell that she was having an internal debate.

“It’s ok, you don’t have to tell me.” I added. I turned around by her legs to face her fully. I crossed my arms on her knee and rested my chin on my forearms. 

“No, it’s not that. My dad was a chemistry major when he came to school here. We were really close.” She took a deep breath. “He passed away when I was a senior in high school.”

“Oh my God! Nicole, I’m so sorry!” I said, removing my arms and sitting back.

“It’s ok. He was really sick, so his passing was a blessing in some ways.”

“That must have been awful for you?” I continued.

“Yeah, but I made it.” She sighed, clearly not willing to talk more about it.

“Are you close to your Mom? You said she was in Oregon.”

“Not really.” She looked around her living room. “I mean, yes, but in some ways, no.” She paused again. “I’m all she has, but we’re so different. She has completely different expectations for me.” Nicole looked back down at me and smiled weakly. “For example, she thinks becoming a police officer is too dangerous for women. She doesn’t approve of my career choice, and she’s constantly trying to get me to change my mind.”

“Wow, I can’t imagine… I’m so sorry.” I said, gently shaking her leg. 

“Yeah, well, that’s part of the reason I’m here and she’s there.” She laughed absently. 

I placed a hand on her knee. “Thank you for telling me.” I said, looking her in the eye. I wanted her to know that I really meant it. She looked back at me for several seconds without saying anything.

Ding Dong! Her doorbell rang, breaking us out of our moment. Saved by the bell. Fucking bell.

 

After paying for dinner, (she insisted that she pay for it and I insisted no, so we agreed to split it 50/50) she brought the bag of food to her kitchen to divide it up. She pulled two plates from her cabinet and I searched for her utensil drawer.

“Over there,” she pointed at the drawer next to the fridge. “And look in the fridge for something to drink.” 

After pulling out the appropriate silverware, I opened her fridge. There were several bottles of beer, half a bottle of OJ and a large water pitcher. Slim pickings, since I wasn’t a beer drinker.

“I think I’ll stick to tea.” I said.

“That’s right, you’re not a beer drinker. I have water. It’s filtered.” She tried to recover.

“Tea is fine, or water. I don’t want to be a pest.”

“Waverly, you could never be a pest. What do you like to drink, and I’ll be sure to have it next time.”

“Oh, so you think there’s going to be a next time, do you?” I asked, pointedly.

She looked at me slightly worried until she noticed I was kidding. She stepped closer and my breath hitched in my throat. 

“Well, I try not to make a habit of inviting beautiful women over to study. It’s too distracting.” She paused a moment. “So you should be fine.” She smirked devilishly at me.

“Oh, you’re in big trouble, Haught.” I flashed an equally dirty look at her. 

“Yeah?” She asked.

“Just you wait. When you least expect it, I’ll get you back.” I said, poking her in the arm.

“I’m looking forward to it.” She said, straight-faced, then broke out into a huge, dimpled grin. Damn her.

 

As I plated up my steamed tofu and vegetables, Nicole looked over my shoulder, holding her plate of beef and broccoli. 

“How can you eat that?” She asked. “It has no flavor.”

“Sure it does,” I started. She leaned over to place a bite of food in her mouth. “Plus, it’s really about the texture. It’s kind of springy and soft, but when you put the sauce on it, it becomes salty and slick.”

Suddenly, Nicole began to choke on her food. I looked up at her alarmed.

“Are you ok?” I asked, rubbing her back.

After she recovered a bit, she said, “Sorry, it sounded like you were talking about something else.”

My cheeks blushed furiously, was I missing some sort of lesbian- tofu joke? Was eating tofu like eating out a woman, I wondered? I looked down at my plate. I’ll never look at tofu the same way again.

“I’m sorry, I must have misheard you.” She said.

Uh huh, right, I thought.

“So how is it? Does it taste ok?” She asked, pushing me a little. 

Not wanting to walk into another lesbian joke, I simply replied, “It’s great.”

 

We settled back down on her couch to eat and study. I felt really self-conscious every time I took a bite of food, like Nicole was watching to catch me with tofu in my mouth. So I sat back against the arm of her couch, kicked off my sandals, and stretched out my legs across her knees. This way I could eat and watch her instead. 

“So you said something about quizzing each other earlier.” I began.

“Huh?”

“Earlier, you said we should quiz each other on our vocabulary.”

“Oh, right,” she put another bite of food in her mouth. I watched her slowly chew her food.

“That is, if you think you’re up for it.” I suggested.

She swallowed, then said, “Oh I’m up for it. What’s the challenge?” She placed her plate down on the living room table.

“How about, if you miss one, you have to warm up a part of me, and if I miss one, I have to warm up your feet?”

She chuckled to herself lightly. “I don’t know, it sounds like I win either way.” Then she picked up one of my feet and began to softly rub it. The sensation travelled all the way up my body. 

“Stop that,” I said too quickly, feeling bashful.

“I’m sorry,” and she put my foot back down. 

On second thought- don’t stop, I said to myself, but it was too late. She had actually listened to what I said. If it was Champ, he would have tickled me until I was able to kick myself free. 

“It’s ok, actually it felt nice. My feet are really ticklish, though.” I tried to recover.

“I promise I won’t tickle you.” And she held up her right hand in a scout’s honor. I smiled at her and relaxed back into her couch. “Unless you miss a vocabulary word.”

“NO! Don’t you dare!” I shot back up. 

Nicole laughed. “No worries, I promise I won’t.” 

I watched her carefully with a glare, slowly leaning back down. 

“How about we just go over the words, no repercussions.” She said, placing her hand over my ankle, the warmth spreading up and out.

“Deal.” For now, I thought.

 

We took turns going over our vocabulary words. Nicole was adorable as she struggled to pronounce some of my more complicated Latin words. She’d get a stern look on her face and a slight wrinkle across her brow like she was mad at the words for being so difficult. I couldn’t help but smile, imagining her as a police officer giving some drunk idiot that same look for trying to drive.

She picked up my next card and frowned. I started to giggle.

She looked up at me, “What?”

“Nothing, you look like you’re about to arrest that word.”

“I should. You hear that, word? I’ve got your number.” She pointed her finger at the flash card critically. I laughed out loud. 

“I have one for you.” I started. “Res Ipsa Loquitur.”

Nicole shook her head and shrugged her shoulders. “Can you give me a hint?”

I knew it meant “the thing speaks for itself.” I tried to think of an example, but came up blank. 

“Hold on, let me think.” I said. Then an example hit me. I could kiss her. That’s a thing that will speak for itself. My whole body shuddered at the thought. I couldn’t, could I?

Immediately an internal war began. It was too soon. But I think she’s attracted to me, too. Do I even want to? Yes! No, it’s too soon. I don’t want a relationship now. But it’s just a kiss. Yeah, right.

“Is everything ok,” she asked gently. 

I stared back at her. The realization that I wanted to kiss her washed over me like a cold wave. My hands shook and I quickly tucked them under my arms. I think I have my answer if I’m bi or not, I thought. But even that epiphany sank like a stone in my stomach. What does this mean, I asked myself internally. Am I gay? What about Champ? The emotions tumbled around inside me as if in a dryer. I felt like I might throw up or cry. 

“Um, yeah.” I stumbled over my words. “I’m sorry, I can’t think of an example.” I mumbled.

“It’s ok. Are you sure you’re alright?”

“Uh, yeah. Actually, I think I better go.” I looked out her window at the growing dusk. “And you have a final tomorrow, so I don’t want to take up anymore of your time. You probably have a lot to do to get ready. And you need to get plenty of sleep.” I sat up, swinging my legs back down, and quickly started to pack my bag.

“Hey,” she said, placing her hand on my thigh. “It’s going to be ok.”

I quickly glanced over at her. That’s not how it felt.

I finished putting my things away, and went to pick up my plate.

“Don’t worry about that, I’ll get it.” She said, watching me.

“Thanks,” I mumbled, not looking at her. I stood up, grabbed my bag and walked over to her door.

“Hey, do you want to take your leftovers?” I could hear the concern in her voice.

“No, I’m good. I really have to go.” I said with my hand on the door knob, my back turned to her.

“Waverly?”

I opened the door and quickly stepped out. I paused for a second, embarrassed about how I was leaving, but I was afraid if I opened my mouth to speak I would start crying. 

I let out a hot breath as I quickly walked down her front steps to my car. As I climbed in, turning it over, I refused to look up at Nicole’s apartment, afraid that I’d see her watching me from her deck. I backed out of the parking spot and pulled away from her apartment, cursing under my breath, hot tears spilling down my cheeks.


	4. Smol Feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waverly tries to avoid her feelings, but Laura has other plans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second draft, blah, blah blah.
> 
> Earpers Rule!

Chapter 4  
Smol Feelings

NH> Is everything ok? You left so fast, you looked really upset.

I paced up and down my kitchen, holding a cooling cup of tea in my hands. I wasn’t crying anymore, but the “stone in my stomach” feeling hadn’t abated. I put down my tea on the counter, unable to stomach even the light, calming brew. I knew I needed to talk to someone. (What I really needed to do was apologize to Nicole for being such a head-case, but I couldn’t face that.) I picked up my cell and dialed the only person I knew I could trust with this.

“Hey girl! Don’t tell me you’re still studying?” Laura asked.

I paused, I could feel every emotion boiling up again just hearing Laura’s voice.

“Waves? Are you there?” 

“Laura?” I croaked out before I felt the tears start back up again. I took in a ragged breath and heard a sob break through the wall I had built up around my emotions. 

“Oh my God, Waves! What’s wrong?”

“Nicole.” I cried out weakly.

“Nicole?!” There was a long pause. “What the hell did she do to you?” I heard a shuffling through the phone. “Hold on, I’m going to the bedroom. Oh my God, did she hurt you; I’m going to kill her.” Another shuffling noise. “Oh honey, I’m so sorry, if I knew she would hurt you, I’d never have invited her over.”

“No, not that.” I squeaked out. “It’s not Nicole.” I hiccuped. “It’s me.”

“Honey, you’re not making any sense. I’m coming over, ok? Are you at your place?”

“Yeah.”

“Ok, I’ll be there in a few. God, Waverly, I’m so sorry. I really thought she was ok.” 

 

I sat down at my dining room table and waited for Laura, openly sobbing. Why was I reacting like this. Why was I so terrified? I never felt like this with Champ, even when he cheated on me. I mean, it hurt, but nothing like this. 

And all this was triggered because I thought about kissing Nicole. I’ve kissed plenty of girls, I kiss Laura all the time. We hold hands and hug. What the hell is wrong with me.

But I didn’t want a quick kiss to the cheek. I wanted to kiss her, a real kiss. I imagined pressing my lips to hers, wrapping my hands around her neck. I imagined Nicole pulling me in tight against her. I imagined the warmth of her body pressed against mine, and that heat growing, spreading throughout me. I hated that I couldn’t stop myself, it all just swept over me.

I hugged myself, wrapping my arms around my knees pulled up against my chest. I tried to make myself as small as possible. I wanted to disappear. I tucked my face in between the tops of my knees and waited for Laura, secretly hoping she’d never show up and I’d never have to face this.

 

“Oh Waverly.” Laura pulled me into a long hug. She arrived about ten minutes after we hung up. I couldn’t even say hi, I just broke down as soon as I saw her standing on the other side of my apartment door. “Tell me what’s going on. I’m really worried about you.”

I shook my head and looked at the floor. She led me to my living room couch and took my hands as she sat down next to me.

“Ok, start from the beginning. What happened?”

I still couldn’t look at Laura, but I felt a little stronger now that she was there.

“I went to study over at Nicole’s.”

“Uh huh,” said Laura in a very guarded tone.

“And everything was fine. I swear. We were studying,” I paused to hitch my breath. “She’s really nice. It wasn’t her at all.”

“I don’t understand?”

“We were having dinner and going over vocab words and then I just freaked out. It felt like the walls were crashing in on me. And I just panicked and left. I mean, I ran. I totally bolted. And now she probably hates me or thinks I’m crazy. And I don’t know what’s going on with me…”

“Whoa. Sweetie. Let’s go back. You were studying and then you freaked? What happened?” Laura asked, confused.

“We were going over her vocabulary and then I thought about kissing her and I totally freaked.”

“Wait, you thought about kissing her? Did you kiss her? Or did she force you to kiss her?”

“NO! She didn’t force me to do anything. She was really nice, and then I thought about kissing her and it’s like something snapped in me. All I could imagine was kissing her, like really kissing her.” I gulped as the sensation hit me again. Jeez, I couldn’t even talk about it without feeling it.

Laura tried to hide a smile.

“What!” I exclaimed.

“You thought about kissing her and freaked out?”

“Yeah.” I said, exasperated. “And then I bolted.”

“And she didn’t do anything to you.”

“No. She was really nice.”

“Do you think, maybe, you’re attracted to her?”

I sat there with my mouth open, unsure how to respond.

“Waves, you wanted to kiss her, so what? It’s ok, you know.”

“No, it isn’t. I shouldn’t feel this way.”

“Why not? She’s cute. You’re single, she’s single.”

“I’m not ready for this.”

“Oh please, who is?”

“Huh?”

“Do you think I feel ready to get married. Good God! What am I thinking.” Laura laughed at herself. “I mean, really, I just turned 21 and now I’m getting married. I’m such an idiot. Right?”

“No, you and Mack are perfect together.”

“I know. That’s how I know this is right. It feels crazy and weird to say I’m engaged. I’m sure most of my friends are completely judging me for leaving college early. Hell, they probably think I’m pregnant. But Mack feels right, and so the rest is just bullshit.” She gave me a hard look. “This is right for me. Maybe Nicole is right for you.”

A chill ran down my back.

“How did you know he was right?” I paused. “I mean, forever I thought Champ was right. He was what I was supposed to want, right? But I never felt like this about Champ.” Another tear ran down my cheek. Laura reached out to wipe it away with her thumb.

“Sweetie, you’ll figure it out. So Champ wasn’t right, maybe Nicole isn’t either, but it seems like you have some feelings for her.”

“Why should I have feelings for her, how can I? I just met her.” 

“Love at first sight?” Laura asked.

“I’m scared, Laura.” The honesty slipping out of me.

“Of course you’re scared. This is brand new for you. Have you thought about talking to Nicole about this?”

“God, NO! I couldn’t. I’m too embarrassed. She probably hates me.” I buried my face in my hands.

“Well, you’ll need to talk to her at some point, unless you plan on totally ghosting her and skipping my wedding. She’s invited, you know.” Laura wrinkled her brow, sternly, “Unless she does something to hurt you, and then her ass is grass.” She chuckled and I groaned. 

“You should probably just call her, apologize and get it over with. The longer you wait, the harder it will be.”

I groaned again, even louder.

“I’ll bet she’ll understand. Maybe tell her you need to take this slow.”

“Take what slow?” I held up my hands.

“This, your friendship or your attraction. Whatever.”

“Gah, I can’t say that to her!”

“Well, you’ll figure it out.” she held her hand to my cheek, “We’ll figure it out together if you need to. I’ll help you. We’ll figure it out and write it down so you can have it there.”

I thought back to my voicemail message to Nicole and my gut sank again.

“Thanks.” I said.

“Ok?”

“Ok” I nodded my head.

“I love you. We’ll figure this out.”

“I know, thanks.” I hugged Laura hard. I was so grateful to have a friend like her.

“Are you ok now?”

“Yeah, I feel better,” I lied. I still didn’t know how I was going to face this.

“Ok, call me if you need me, any time.” Laura held out a hand as she stood to leave.

“Go, I need to get some rest. I’m not going to do anything tonight. Maybe I’ll call her tomorrow.”

“Ok. I love you.”

“I love you, too. And Laura, Thanks. Thanks for coming over.” I said walking her to the door.

“Of course. Talk to you tomorrow.”

After Laura left, I felt completely washed out emotionally. I changed to go to bed, then I saw that there was a text from Nicole, but I didn’t open it. I washed my face and brushed my teeth. The mundane activities were calming. Then I collapsed into bed super early. I thought I was going to need to put a movie on in the background to distract my mind from the day, but before I could even consider which movie to put on, I was asleep.

 

The next day, I woke up early. I was determined to have a better day, a productive day. And a day without thoughts of Nicole. I made a plan to study myself into oblivion. I wanted to disappear into my books and not look up until it was night. 

First, I’d cook up a super healthy breakfast to feed body and mind, then do thirty minutes of meditation and stretching to ground myself before showering and heading over to the library.

 

The first part of my plan went off without a hitch. I made a kale/ apple smoothie and had a small bowl of oatmeal. Fuel for my day. I decided on tea instead of my usual coffee in the morning. I didn’t want anything to set off my nerves.

 

I pushed my living room table off to the side of the room as I prepared to do some yoga. I could always count on yoga to center my mind and focus me on what’s ahead. The only problem was that Nicole was clearly ahead of me. I sat and tried to focus on feeling my body, but suddenly I could feel Nicole’s warm hands on my foot, gently massaging it. Crap. 

Recenter. I lifted my hands to start a stretch and felt a chill in my fingers. Then I remembered how warm my hands felt in Nicole’s, the heat traveled up my arms and was reassuring. What the hell, Mind, stop it. 

Recenter. A smile crept over my face as I remembered the sound of her laugh, the welcoming look in her eyes. I took a deep breath and let out a frustrated sigh. This wasn’t working.  
I got up and put on some soothing music, hoping the noise would distract my brain. But I started to giggle thinking about how she almost choked when I talked about the tofu. God, she was cute. I felt my cheeks flush slightly with the memory. I shook my head. Concentrate on stretching. Nicole’s smile stretching across her face, her dimples growing. Shit.

I gave up on yoga, took a shower and quickly got dressed in a few layers since the library could be cold. I grabbed my bag from yesterday and walked out the door. 

I put on my headphones to listen to my favorite playlist as I walked over to the library. The late morning sun was warming my face pleasantly and I felt uplifted by the light. The sky was blue and I could hear the birds chirping over my music. Somehow everything felt better as soon as I left my apartment. I was ready to face this day, I smiled as I walked, happy to be alive. Happy with no thoughts of Nicole. I forced myself to think only about the birds overhead jumping from branch to branch or the squirrels chasing each other in the underbrush. I flashed a huge smile and waved at every person I passed. I was determined to have a better day. Deep breath in, deep breath out.

I turned a corner to face the library, the huge eight story building was like a second home for me. I had my favorite study spots throughout the building depending on my mood and needs. Down in the basement, there were boxed off desks that were perfect for intense cramming. On the main level were rows of giant, eight person tables. They were good for spreading out or studying with friends. The bonus with the main level was all the light that came in through the floor to ceiling windows. Up in the stacks, there were couches and armchairs hidden around among the rows of bookshelves. I considered what I wanted from my studies that day. I didn’t really want to be in the basement, it’s usually colder down there and dark, no sun light. But I wanted a little more privacy than the big tables on the main level afforded me. So I walked up two flights of stairs and navigated my way to one of the back corners where I knew there were a couple comfy couches. I passed by the first couch since it was already occupied. I hoped that the second couch would still be free. It was finals, so more people were hanging out at the library than usual. 

I was in luck, the second couch was still open. I threw down my bag on one end and collapsed into the other. I looked around the row of books standing next to the couch. Nobody in sight, perfect. 

 

I stretched out my arms, feeling the beige cloth of the couch under my fingers. I mentally planned out my studying for the day as I continued to look out around me. Just then I heard a ping from my cell phone. I picked it up, thinking it might be Laura checking in with me today. 

NH> Just finished my exam and wanted to say thanks. The vocab review really helped. I’m heading over to the library if you want to study again. No pressure. Hope everything is ok?

When I saw that it was from Nicole, I meant to put down my phone and ignore it, but the word library caught my eye. I read through the text more carefully. 

Oh crap! She was coming here? 

I wondered if I could slip out before she arrived. But she could be here right now, or I could walk into her on my way out- God, how awkward. 

Crap with a capital C. 

I tried to re-assess my situation. I quickly scanned the stacks around me, nobody. I was pretty well hidden back on this couch. And what are the chances that she would choose to study on a couch on this floor? The library was huge, chances were we wouldn’t see each other. 

Just then a slight pang of disappointment hit me at the thought of not seeing her. 

What the hell was wrong with me?

I pulled out my computer and Latin notebook, then quickly tried to literally bury my head in work. However, with every noise, I glanced up to see if it was Nicole. 

Nope. 

This lasted about twenty minutes, when I finally put my headphones on and restarted my playlist. 

Two hours later, I realized that I was actually able to get a lot accomplished. Proud of myself for buckling down, but still hesitant to leave and risk running into Nicole, I texted Laura to see if she could join me (and maybe walk out with me). 

WE> Hey beautiful, thanks so much for coming over last night. I’m feeling much better today. I’m at the library, do you want to join me? We can work on Ancient Civilizations together.

I waited to see if she would reply. 

I went back to look at Nicole’s last text. She was so sweet and I was treating her like a leper. I felt guilt needle at my stomach. I thought back to the evening in her apartment and she did everything to make me feel comfortable. 

I ran out on her. This was really stupid. She wasn’t putting any pressure on me to do anything; it was all in my head. I was the one who thought about kissing her and lost it. Plus if I was really honest with myself, I was a little disappointed that she didn’t find me studying on the couch. 

WE> Hi Nicole. I’m so sorry I’ve been ignoring you. I kinda freaked. All the pressure from finals just hit me all at once and I didn’t want you to see that. But I’m feeling better now. You still willing to hang out? I’ll understand if you’re mad at me.

A few minutes later, I got a response back from her. 

NH> Not mad, but worried. Everything ok? I have my last final on Friday. I’m free to hang out after that.

WE> Friday sounds good. I’m fine. I’m so sorry about how I left. Super embarrassed. 

NH> I hope I didn’t do anything to make you feel uncomfortable.

WE> No, it wasn’t you. Can we sort of start over? I feel like such an idiot. I’m usually less crazy.

NH> Sure. I have an idea. If you’re willing, I’d like to introduce you to some good beers, see if you really hate beer entirely, or just bad beer. :)

WE> Ok, I’ll try. I owe you that much. :) But don’t hold your breath, I’m making no guarantees that you can turn me into a beer drinker.

NH> I understand. Meet me at Barney’s Tavern at 8pm?

WE> Ok, and thanks.

NH> No worries. See you then. Good luck on your exams.

WE> :) good luck to you, too.

I was biting my lip as I typed out the last message. That went so much better than I thought it would. I was so terrified that she would hate me and never talk to me again. I let out a deep sigh. 

That reminded me, I had invited Laura to study with me, but I hadn’t heard back from her.

WE> Laura, I texted Nicole and we’re cool. We’re going to meet on Friday. Just friends. I’m glad I texted her. Thanks.

LB> Good. Finally. I didn’t want to rescind her invitation to the wedding. ;)

WE> You would do that for me?

LB> No! Ass. ;P

 

I powered through the finals week and secretly looked forward to Friday. Not that I wanted to drink a bunch of beer, but I was buzzing with the thought of spending more time with Nicole. Just as friends, of course, just learning about beer.

 

On Friday afternoon, Laura lay back on my bed as I pulled outfits from my closet. 

“So what did you want to wear for your not-date?” Asked Laura.

“It’s not a date!”

“That what I just said!”

“No, you said ‘not-date’” I made air quotes with my fingers. “That means you think it’s a date.” 

Laura shook her head and laughed. “I can’t keep up with you, Waverly. Do you want this to be a date or not?”

“NO. Not a date. Just friends.” I huffed. 

“Ok, fine. Not a date with Nicole.” She snickered. “Where you’ll be drinking beer.”

“Where she’ll be teaching me about beer. I still don’t know if I’ll be drinking it.”

“Uh huh.”

“What! You know I don’t like beer.”

“Maybe you’ll like what Nicole’s serving.”

I gave her a fierce look. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing,” Laura sang. “Ok, show me what you want to wear.” 

I held up a black sundress with small, white flowers on it and healed, black sandals.

“I thought you said this wasn’t a date.”

“Smart ass,” I shot back, shaking my head slightly.

“Seriously, Waves, you’ll look great in that dress. I think you should wear it.”

“Do you think it’s too much?”

“No, go for it.” Laura winked at me and gave me a thumbs up.

“Cause I could wear my white sweater with the blue leggings.”

“Ugh, you’re infuriating, wear whatever you want. You’ll look fantastic in all of it, anyway.”

I smiled at her sweetly, twisting my hips back and forth, holding the dress to my chest. “This is why I like picking outfits with you.”

“Alright, Romeo…”

“Not a date!”

“Go get ready, and then go get your girl.” Laura smirked at me, then added, “But don’t shave unless you know you want to sleep with her.”

“Still not a date.”

I heard Laura let herself out of my apartment, and as soon as the door clicked shut, the biggest, most stupid grin grew across my face as I thought ahead to my “not a date” with Nicole.


	5. Give Beer a Chance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s the Wayhaught, cute meet, not date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second Draft...
> 
> So who else thinks that Nicole and Waverly are the next Jim and Pam?

Chapter 5  
Give Beer a Chance

 

I have to admit I was pretty nervous as I waited for my Uber to take me to Barney’s that night. I even, very briefly, considered bailing until I realized what a shit move that would be. I had all these crazy thoughts about what should happen that night. I wasn’t sure I was up to my own expectations. Then looking back at the texts from Nicole earlier in the week, I reassured myself that she didn’t seem to have any expectations beyond wanting to share an evening and some beer with me.

I chose to wear the sundress for the evening, and as I stepped out into the cool air, I felt a thrill, rather than a chill, run through me. I climbed into the backseat of the waiting black sedan and greeted my driver. We confirmed my destination and the driver, who looked to be only a couple years older than me, said that Barney’s was one of his favorite bars in the small city. 

“It’s more of a townie bar, rather than a college bar. Less drunk frat boys, more drunk farmers.” 

“Does that make a big difference?” I asked, while quietly wondering how Nicole found it. I had only heard of Barney’s once before Nicole suggested it.

“Sure, farmers are more quiet. Until the karaoke starts, that is.”

“They have karaoke there?” I asked, surprised. 

“Occasionally. It’s a great bar, really big, they have pool tables upstairs and you rarely have to wait to get one.”

“Thanks,” I replied.

“So, how did you find it?”

“I’m meeting someone.”

“Ah. College girl meets townie boy?”

“Not quite.” I looked out the window, absentmindedly pulling at a hangnail. I quickly stopped and folded my hands in my lap. I didn’t feel comfortable trying to explain the situation. Heck, I didn’t know if I understood the situation. Or even if there was a situation.

 

We pulled into the parking lot of Barney’s, and I scanned the row of cars parked outside wondering if Nicole was already there. I still didn’t know what kind of car she drove, and she could have Ubered, too.

After thanking the driver and his well-wishes for a fun evening, I looked over the outside of the bar. It was a two story, wood-sided, barn-like structure. A simple red and white sign out front marked it as Barney’s Tavern. A white front porch stretched across the front of the building, and a couple metal, lantern style lights hanging on either side of the double doors created a casual, yet welcoming, entrance. 

I thought about texting Nicole to see if she was there, but my hands were slightly shaking from nerves and the chill in the air pushed me inside without checking my phone. I stepped inside glancing around the space. It was large and darker than I expected. Partly, the dark wood paneling absorbed some of the light, while the dark metal-sheathed, hanging lamps cast a minimal amount of light up toward the ceiling. There were old farm tools hanging from all the walls as decorations. No wonder the local farmers from across the county were drawn to this bar.

The music playing in the background was light and definitely country. It created a warm, cozy atmosphere. I scanned the room and quickly spotted the back of Nicole’s head in a booth in the corner of the bar. Her red hair glowed in silhouette against the light shining from the metal lamp hanging over the table above her. Her hair was pulled back into a French braid. She appeared to be looking down at her hands, probably looking at her phone. I silently navigated my way back to her. Only half the tables and booths in the bar were filled at this hour. I figured that 8 o’clock must be a little early for this place to get really crowded. Nick’s would be crowded by now, but some of the other bars, particularly ones with dance floors, wouldn’t start to fill up until closer to 11pm. 

I paused a moment behind Nicole before approaching her, and took a deep breath. I could do this. Be brave, Waverly. She’s just a girl. A really sweet, beautiful, funny, smart girl, but just a girl.

I snuck up behind her and whispered “Hey,” in her ear. She jumped slightly and looked around at me. Then a huge smile greeted me.

“You scared me!” She placed a hand on her chest.

“You need to work on your spidey senses, Officer.” I smiled back at her as I slipped into the seat across from her. “And aren’t police officers supposed to sit with their backs to the wall, not the door.” 

Nicole blushed and looked down at the phone in her hands. “I was getting ready to text you, let you know I was here.” She placed her phone on the bench seat next to her thigh.

“Fortunately, it’s not too crowded in here. And you’re pretty easy to spot.” I pointed to the top of my head.

“Sure, right.” She sighed out. There was a pregnant pause, and I had a chance to really look at this woman in front of me. She wore a dark blue, button-down shirt that made her hair really stand out. She had a thin, delicate gold chain around her neck that held a small, gold heart pendant.

“I like your necklace.” I said, pointing at her collar.

“Oh,” she said fingering the heart, “It was from my Dad. He said I always have his heart. Cheesy, I know.” She gave a half smile.

“I think it’s really sweet. It suits you.” I smiled back at her, meeting her eyes.

“Thanks.”

“Hey, thanks for hanging out with me. I’m really sorry about how I left on Sunday. I was afraid of turning into a blubbering idiot on your couch. The stress from finals just kinda hit me. I don’t know what came over me. I was really ashamed.”

“You don’t need to be ashamed. I get it. I was worried that I said something to scare you.” She looked reassuringly at me. 

Actually, she did scare me. She terrified me, but in a way that drew me closer rather than pushing me away. It was an excited, electric energy racing up and down my body, something so new and yet intrinsically a part of me, like it had been there all along. 

“So, you were going to try and persuade me to drink some beer?” I said, changing my smile into a knowing smirk. “You must like a challenge.”

She laughed and looked down at her hands. “I remember the beer I drank in high school was awful. It was whatever we could get and the cheapest.”

“That sounds about right.” I nodded my head. “We favored Natty Light.”

Nicole groaned, “That’s so bad.” She laughed. 

“Right!”

“What about Beast? We used to drink a lot of America’s Best.”

“I haven’t tried that one. I gave up after Natty.” I said, shaking my head.

“Well, I had a friend take me out on my twenty first birthday and she taught me about real beer.”

“Real beer.” I was skeptical.

“Good beer. I found that I actually really liked beer once I was drinking the right kinds.”

“So this friend turned you into a beer drinker.” I gave her a knowing look.

“Yep, and now I’m trying to pay it forward. When you said you didn’t like beer at the engagement party, I immediately thought of my friend taking me out to teach me about beer, and I wanted to do the same for you.”

“So,” I paused. “You’ve been planning this out for a while now?”

Nicole gave me a deer in headlights look. “I mean, I just thought…” She stumbled over her words.

I laughed lightly and reached out to squeeze her hand. “It’s ok. It’s really sweet.” I gave her a wide smile so she would know I wasn’t mad. Her palm felt hot in my fingers. 

Nicole’s cheeks lit up as red as her hair as she bashfully looked down at my hand on hers. God, she was cute. 

Slowly, I pulled my hand back to my side of the table, and Nicole cleared her throat.

“So, I thought we could start with a variety of types of beer. Some light, some darker. Where is our waitress?” Nicole looked around the bar, and it felt like she was trying to avoid looking at me. I continued to smile at her, watching her. It gave me a little confidence boost to see that I affected her as much as she affected me. 

 

It was in this moment that I realized that I did want this to be a date. I wanted more than just friends. But this time, rather than feeling like the walls were caving in, I felt a warm, welcoming pull in my gut. I realized just how easy it was to sit here with her, talking and laughing. It felt so natural, nothing forced about it. And that was the biggest difference between Champ and Nicole. I felt like Champ should have been right, so I constantly justified it in my mind. 

I tried so hard to make it work with Champ. I tried to get excited about his advances, and sometimes it did feel right. Sometimes he could touch me and I felt on fire, but most of the time his hands on me felt like an obligation rather than an invitation. For Champ, an evening that didn’t end with sex was wasted. And don’t get me started on trying to talk to him. It seemed like I would cringe every time he opened his mouth. With Nicole, I wanted to hear what she had to say; it wasn’t just a stepping stone to something else (sex). I was drawn into the conversation with her and I wanted to hear more. I could sit here in this booth all night listening to her and that, in itself, would be an amazing evening. 

My smile grew wider. She was still looking out around the room for a waitress. I reached back out and touched the tips of her fingers. Her wide eyes were immediately pulled back to her hand and then up to my eyes. 

“So tell me about the different kinds of beer you want me to try. I’m in your hands.” 

She still had an incredulous look on her face, “Yeah, sure.” A heartbeat passed and she shook her head slightly. “I was going to pick out a lighter beer like a lager or a pilsner, then a wheat beer, an IPA and a dark beer like a porter or a stout. Is there anything you know you don’t like?”

“I have no basis to rule anything out, except for Natty Light.” This brought the smile back to Nicole’s eyes. “What is your favorite kind of beer?”

“Me? I like a variety. Some times I’m in the mood for a lighter or a darker beer. In the summer, I like lighter, refreshing beers, but in the winter, I prefer darker, heavier beers. I guess it depends.”

“So what should we start with? I don’t know that I can drink that much beer.”

“Oh, actually, we can get a flight of beer, a series of small beer samples. It’s a great way to try different kinds of beer without drinking yourself under the table.”

Just then, our waitress approached the table. She was a perky, bleached blonde with too much make-up on. She looked to be in her forties; not young, but not old. She smiled broadly at us, “Do you gals know what you want?”

Nicole ordered the beers she wanted for the flight and a pint for herself. After the waitress walked off, Nicole faced me again.

“So how did you find this bar?” I asked.

“Actually, they have a great beer selection on tap and they do flights. This place is different from the college bars closer to campus. There, the point is to get drunk fast and cheap. Here, they have beers that you can sit back and enjoy. The point isn’t to get drunk, but to enjoy what you’re drinking.”

“Huh, I guess I never thought of it like that. Drinking, I mean. Usually when my ex and his friends drink, the point is to get drunk. I always thought that it was a bit of a waste. Plus I hate feeling hungover. So, maybe I’m just a prude.”

“You’re not a prude.” Nicole shook her head, her eyes shining. “You’re more mature than most, but that’s not a bad thing. I think it’s nice. I’m not worried that you’re going to try and race me to the bottom of the glass and act all crazy drunk. It’s refreshing, really.”

I smiled at the compliment. For once, being mature for my age was an asset rather than a drawback. Champ and his friends always made fun of me because I wasn’t interested in getting shit-faced and acting stupid. So here it was again, with Nicole, drinking wasn’t the stepping stone to other things (again, sex), but something to be enjoyed for itself. There was no pressure to do or act in some other way. I found that the more I compared Nicole to Champ, the more I realized there was no comparison. 

When the waitress brought back our beers, she set a wooden board with four small glasses of beer in very different colors in front of me. In front of Nicole, she placed a taller glass of amber looking beer. 

“So, what kind are you drinking?” I asked

“Me? This is a brown ale. A little lighter than the really dark beers, but a little sweeter than an IPA.”

“Huh. Ok, hopefully I’ll understand that by the end of the night.” Nicole chuckled at my admitted ignorance.

“Well, let’s start with you first. I recommend that you go from light to dark, but this is for you, so if you feel differently, that’s fine.”

“Oh no, this is your dance, I’m following your lead here. If you think I should start with the light, then I’m trusting you.” 

“Ok, good. So try the lager.” She pointed to the first, and lightest, beer on the block. I picked up the small glass and took a small sip. Not awful, but still reminded me of the beer from high school. I kinda let out a grimace as I swallowed.

“Looks like it’s not your thing.” Said Nicole, a little defeated. 

“Sorry, it just reminds me of the beer from high school.” I raised my shoulders in a shrug.

“That’s fine, we’re here to find a beer that you like. Not what other people like.” 

I smiled back at her words. She was being so considerate. “What should I do with the rest of the lager?”

“Don’t worry about it, if nothing else, I’ll drink it.”

“Ok, so what’s the next beer?”

“OK, the next one is going to be very different. It’s a wheat-beer, a Hefeweizen, this one is German. It’s sweeter than the lager, and a little thicker.” She picked up the small glass to hold it up to the light. “See how it’s cloudy, that’s because it’s unfiltered. It also tends to have a high alcohol content.” Nicole held the glass out to me. I took it from her, brushing my fingers against hers. “Sorry,” she muttered.

“Uh uh, don’t be. We’re here to find what I like, right?”

Nicole bit her lip to stifle a laugh.

I took a sip of the Hefeweizen and I was really surprised. It didn’t taste anything like the lager. There was no bitterness or sharpness. Nicole was right, it tasted sweeter as well as a little citrusy. 

“Wow. This is different. I like this a lot better than the last one. I don’t feel like I’m tasting my high school memories.”

“This is a good thing. No tasting bad memories.”

I put the little glass back down on the block, “I’m going to save this one for further review.”

“Ok, the next one is going to have a stronger flavor than the other two, but it will be a bit more bitter, too.”

“Which one is that?”

“It’s the IPA.” 

I picked up the glass and sniffed before I took a sip. It was definitely stronger. And the bitterness of the beer hit me hard. “Whoa. That’s a strong beer. Not sure I like it, though.”

“A little bitter for you?”

“Yep, I think so.”

“So you seem to like the sweeter beers. I bet you’ll really like the next one.”

“What is it?” I asked.

“It’s a milk stout. Usually darker beers are also stronger beers, but in this case, the beer shouldn’t have an overwhelming taste. It should be a little on the creamy side of things.”

“Creamy?”

“Yeah, try it, you’ll see.”

“Does it have milk in it?”

“I don’t think so. Actually, I forget why they call it a milk stout, other than maybe it has a creamy texture.”

I lifted the glass to my lips. The scent of the brew felt heavy and rich, but the taste was much lighter than I thought it was going to be. Nicole was right about the creaminess of it. I couldn’t put a finger on it, but it felt and tasted smooth. 

“Huh, I like this one.”

“Yeah?” Nicole watched me, hopefully.

“Yeah. I think this is my favorite so far.” Nicole broke out into a wide smile.

“So am I turning you into a beer drinker?”

“Hmm. I think the jury is still out on that. I need more time to decide.” I winked at her and took another sip of the dark beer. Creamy beer, I had no idea.

 

I finished off the milk stout, and Nicole tried a sip of my other beers before starting her own. We pushed the flight off to the side and Nicole ordered me a pint of the milk stout, as we easily talked about our bad beer experiences in high school. I told her about the time that I tried to drink Natty Light and ended up switching to whiskey because I couldn’t stand the taste. I threw up on a fellow cheerleader’s shoes that night.

“Oh yeah,” Nicole started. “Beer-liquor, never sicker. Liquor-beer, never fear.”

“That’s the truth.” I agreed. “So tell me one of your embarrassing, beer-in-high-school stories.” 

Nicole cleared her throat and shook her head slightly. She grinned down at her hands.  
“My most embarrassing story is actually the first time I had sex.”

“With a woman?” I was immediately intrigued.

“Actually, with a guy. I was a junior in high school, and I knew I was attracted to women at that point, but I thought I should at least try having sex with a guy to see what all the fuss was about. Most of my friends were having sex, and I was too afraid to try dating a woman, so I thought- Fine, I’ll sleep with a guy and give it a try.” Nicole played with a napkin in her hand, not looking up at me.

I sat back in the booth to give her some space.

“So I had this really close guy friend, John. He was my best friend, he knew all about my Dad’s illness and how it was killing me. He had a rough family life, too, and we used to talk about it all the time. I felt like he knew me better than anyone else. I had even told him that I thought I was gay. He was the first person I told. So he knew everything about me, and I thought he’d be the perfect guy to sleep with because he understood. I trusted him to stop if things got weird or too much.” She paused to take a deep breath.

“He sounds like a really incredible friend.” I encouraged.

“Yeah, he was. And he was super tall, he was like 6’ 4”, so, I know this sounds weird, but I felt more like a woman around him because he was actually taller than me.”

“That doesn’t sound weird at all.”

“Anyway, I told him what I was thinking and we talked about it for awhile. I asked him if it would be strange for him to have sex with me, even though I wasn’t really attracted to him. I was a little afraid of ruining our friendship.”

“Sure.”

“He told me that he’d never had sex either and thought that for his first time he’d rather be with a friend who understood. We could just take it at our own pace, with no expectations.”

“That actually sounds really nice. I wish Champ had been that understanding. He thought he was God’s gift to women and he could do no wrong in the bed.”

“Wait, did Champ hurt you?” Nicole’s immediate concern was palpable.

“NO, no. Well, yes- it did hurt a bit, but it was totally consensual. He just seemed to go off into his own world and it’s like he forgot I was there.”

“I would never do that to you.” Nicole replied, without thinking.

“What?” I said stunned. Had she thought about sleeping with me?

“I mean,” she quickly amended, “I would never do that to anyone. I’d never treat someone like that, like a thing.” She put her head in her hands. “Oh God,” she groaned.

“Is there something you haven’t been telling me, Ms. Haught?” I teased.

She shook her head, still buried in her hands.

“I’m teasing.” I said gently. I put my hand on her forearm, she peaked through her fingers at me.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean that.” She moaned out.

“It’s ok,” I laughed. “So tell me about John. So far, your story is neither embarrassing nor does it involve beer.” I hoped that by redirecting the conversation back, Nicole would feel more comfortable again. 

She took a deep breath and put her hands back down on the table.

“Ok, so John and I agreed to have sex. We planned it out for a weekend that my Mom was going to be out of town. My Dad was in the hospital, so I had the house to myself. God, that sounds really callus now that I say it out loud. I was sort of used to my Dad being in the hospital so much, that was part of our normal life.”

“Nicole, I get it. You don’t have to justify anything to me.” 

Nicole flashed a grateful smile and continued. “So we thought that if we drank a little, it might make things less awkward. John had an older friend who bought us some beer, and so when he came over that night, he had a 12-pack of Bud Light in one hand, a box of condoms in the other and a huge grin across his face.”

I laughed, trying to picture a young Nicole, who seemed so confident in her sexuality now, standing awkwardly in front of a guy with a box of condoms.

“So did you put on some smooth music? A little mood lighting?” I teased.

“No, nothing like that. It was almost clinical. But I totally trusted him, he knew what my expectations were, so it was ok. We decided to start by drinking the beer and as we drank we just started talking about this and that. We totally forgot about having sex. So we were each about three beers into the night when John asked if I still wanted to have sex. I told him that I did, so we quickly downed a forth beer to loosen ourselves up. I was feeling pretty drunk by this point, but I had yet to go to the bathroom.”

“Ah, you mean to break the golden seal?”

“Yep. I never understood what that meant until that night. So, we went up to my bedroom, and I had a bathroom of my own in there. I told him I was going to pee and get undressed so he should get undressed, too.” Nicole took a steadying breath and broke out into a soft chuckle. 

“So I come out of the bathroom naked and he’s sitting naked on my bed and we’re looking each other over. I think he’s about to try and say something romantic like how beautiful my body is, when he announces that he has to pee too.” She started to laugh.

“So he goes to the bathroom and then we’re sitting on the bed together talking about how we want to start and he’s rubbing his hands up my arms and we try kissing. Then all of a sudden I feel like, if I don’t pee at that moment, I’m going to explode.” Nicole smiles, bringing her hand up to her mouth. “So I tell John I have to pee again. We laugh, I go pee, and then I think we’re ready to get started. We lay back in the bed and as soon as John stretches out, he tells me he has to pee again. So it goes like this the whole time. We drank so much beer, we ended peeing our way through our first time.”

“Did you actually have sex, then?”

“Yeah, but it was definitely weird. I’d feel him start to get going and the pressure of him on top of me, pressing on my bladder, I’d have to stop and go pee again. So, the moral of the story is, I don’t recommend drinking a ton of beer before having sex.”

“That’s so funny. So how was it after? I mean, are you still friends?”

“Yeah, we were for a while. John was a year older than me, so he graduated before me. We kind of lost touch when he went to college. He met a girl he really liked and never came home.”

“That’s too bad.”

“It’s ok, I think he’s probably happier now. He deserves to have someone who adores him. I wasn’t ever going to be that person.”

I nodded, knowingly. 

I looked around the bar and noticed that most of the tables were now full. I was so absorbed in Nicole’s story that I didn’t notice that the bar was getting crowded. 

I looked back at Nicole, “Hey, my Uber driver said that there were pool tables upstairs. Would you like to get a table, maybe play some pool?”

“Sure, but I have to warn you, I’m really terrible at pool. At least until I’m drunk, then I’m much better.”

“Hmm, drunk Nicole playing pool, I think I’d like to see that.” I tilted my head to look at her most closely.

“Maybe not tonight, I still need to drive home. This will be my only beer.”

“How very responsible of you, Officer.” I teased, and she smiled back at me. 

“Let me close the tab down here and then we can move upstairs.”

Nicole flagged down our waitress and asked for the check.

“So, how should we split this?” I asked.

“Oh no, beer drinking was my idea, this is my dance, remember? I’ll pay.”

“Fine, but I’ll get the drinks upstairs.” I added.

“Deal.” 

Nicole paid for the beers and we stood up to leave our table. I suddenly felt the beer hit my head a bit and realized I was a little tipsy. I didn’t have anything for dinner before leaving for the bar, and I was regretting that decision. I wondered if they would have anything vegan here, or even vegetarian. I straightened out my dress as a I thought about the likely bar food I’d find here. 

“You look really pretty in that dress.” Nicole said, looking down at me.

I smiled up at her, “thank you!” I wrapped my hands around her elbow, she hadn’t really offered it to me, but as soon as I held her arm, she stepped up closer to me and cradled my hand between her arm and body. I wasn’t drunk enough to need her help walking up the stairs, but I enjoyed feeling the warmth of her next to me. And I loved having an excuse to touch her again.

She led me up the steps, and the upstairs pub was similar to the downstairs, same farm equipment on the walls, but up here half of the room was filled with about ten pool tables and the other half was a stage or dance floor. I wondered if this was where they did the karaoke. At this point, the dance floor was dark. The bar stretched out in between the pool tables and the dance floor. There were several people up here playing pool, but the Uber driver had been right. A couple of the tables were still free. 

We walked up to the bar to order our next round of drinks before claiming a table. Nicole got a tonic with lime and I decided to heed the adage: beer-liquor, never sicker, and stuck with another milk stout.

“So, it appears I am making you a beer drinker.” Nicole smirked.

“Don’t go getting a big head or anything. I just don’t want to throw up on your shoes tonight.”

Nicole laughed, “I’d appreciated that, too.”

We gathered our drinks and headed over to a pool table. Nicole walked over to get the pool cues, rack, and balls from the side stand. I thought about how good her butt looked in the trim khakis she was wearing. Fortunately, I realized I was staring at her ass before she could turn around and catch me. I bit my lip, thinking I was in big trouble. 

“Do you want to break?” She asked as she racked up the balls.

“Nope. You can.”

“I told you I wasn’t very good at this, right?” I nodded at her in reply. “So no judging me.”

“Oh, I’m totally going to judge you.” I flashed her a wicked grin. The beer in my system was making me feel bolder. “Let’s see this break, Haught-stuff.”

Nicole laughed, putting down her pool cue. I moved around to the end of the table so that she was forced to face me as she broke. She leaned over with her stick in hand, running it smoothly back and forth over her outstretched left hand. Down her shirt, I could see the white edge of her bra as well as a little cleavage, and I felt my gut clench down. I wanted to see if I would get the same reaction from her, if I just so happened to lean over while watching her line up her break.

So I leaned on the side of the table, giving Nicole a clear look at my cleavage. She glanced up at me, laughed and shook her head, standing back up. 

“You’re a little distracting, standing there.”

“What?” I said in mock surprise. “Are the girls too much for you.” I teased, shaking my chest a little. Nicole blushed hard and laughed at me.

“For a straight girl, you’re awfully comfortable flirting with me.” 

Wait! She thought I was straight? And then I realized I had only talked about dating Champ with her, Laura must not have told her that I was bi.

“I’m not straight.” I quickly threw out. I was shocked by my own admission.

“Oh, my bad. I just assumed because you’ve only dated men…” she trailed off.

Not wanting her to get the upper hand, I continued, “Maybe that’s because I haven’t met the right woman, yet.”

Nicole nodded her head, like she was quickly catching up with the conversation. “Ok, you let me know when she comes along.”

“You can count on it.” Who the hell am I, what was this? Internally, I tried to blame the beer, but I knew the attraction was real. This wasn’t the beer talking, this was the real me, the me that was becoming more comfortable with my attraction to this beautiful woman in front of me. 

“I think I need to hit the bathroom.” I said, thinking that a few minutes of space might do me good.

“Breaking the golden seal?”

“Yep, I guess we can’t have sex now.” And I quickly whipped around and purposefully walked back to the restroom area. What the fuck, Waverly!

When I got back from the bathroom, I saw that Nicole had taken the undistracted opportunity to break. It wasn’t bad, the balls were largely spread out over the table. She handed me her cue and told me that the table was still open. I thanked her, as well as thanking her internally for letting my last comment go.

I walked around the table to survey the situation.

“So,” Nicole chimed in, “You’re bi?”

“Yep,” I said over my shoulder while looking down at the table.

“Have you ever dated a woman before?”

“Nope.”

“So how do you know that you’re bi?”

I stood up, looking out at the wall in front of me. Can she honestly not tell I’m attracted to her? Or does she need me to say it out loud?

“I’ve been attracted to a few women before.” It felt like a lie because I couldn’t think of one.

“Have you ever kissed a woman?” She prodded.

“No, not really. I mean, I kiss Laura all the time, but not like, kiss-kiss her.”

“I get it.”

Where are you going with this conversation, Nicole? I asked myself internally. 

“When was the first time you kissed a woman?” I asked, genuinely curious. 

“When I was a sophomore. I didn’t feel comfortable coming out in high school, except to John. I sort of told myself that I just needed to hold out until I got to college. Plus with the death of my dad, everything was too overwhelming for awhile. I felt lucky if I could keep myself together long enough to make it through a school day, let alone try to deal with my sexuality. Every emotion was too much, so I kinda blocked them all out.”

“So who did you end up kissing?”

“Remember my friend that taught me about drinking beer? Her. It’s funny, I wasn’t even all that attracted to her, but she was so out, so gay. I really craved that. I needed someone who could make me feel totally unashamed to be gay, too.”

“That make sense.”

“So that night, when she dropped me off at my apartment, I told her that I’d never kissed a woman before. Now mind you, I was pretty toasted, but I said ‘I guess I’ll never find a woman to kiss me.’” Nicole laughed, shaking her head. “I can’t believe I was so dumb.”

I waited for her to continue. I was holding on to her story like a lifeline.

“And what did she say,” I asked.

“She said, ‘I’ll kiss you.’ And then she leaned over and kissed me. Boom, it was done.”

“That’s it?”

“Yep. It’s funny, even though the kiss wasn’t that great and I really wasn’t attracted to her, more to her confidence, it still confirmed for me that I was gay.” She looked back at me, our pool game left forgotten. The silence lingered between us. I desperately wanted to kiss her at that moment.

I decided to take a leap and push both her and myself. “So if I told you, ‘I’ll never find a woman to kiss me.’ What would you do?”

She kept her eyes straight on mine. “I’d say it was time to head home.” 

She walked up to me, taking the pool cue from my hand and laying it across the table, then taking my hand in hers, she walked me out of the bar and to her car.

On the ride home, we were largely silent except for the directions back to my apartment. She still held my hand in hers, occasionally giving me light squeezes to acknowledge that she heard my directions. When we pulled into the parking lot of my apartment building, she stopped in front of the door and put her car in park. 

“Waverly, am I right in assuming you want to try kissing a woman? I mean, I know we were flirting a little, but I want to be really clear.”

“Yes,” I tried to say with as much courage as I could muster. 

“You should know that on Sunday, I fly home for the summer. I have a job at home with the sheriff’s department, an internship. I’m not going to be here at all this summer.”

“No!” I said, surprised to hear my own voice. 

“I have like thirty-six hours before I leave, I don’t really want to start up something at this time.”

I felt like my stomach was suddenly eating away at itself. “Ok, I understand.” I lied.

“I hope you know that I had so much fun tonight. And when I get back, I hope we can pick up where we left off.” 

I didn’t understand the words that were coming from her mouth, other than they seemed to be creating a giant chasm in my heart.

I put my hand on the door knob of her car. “That’s fine. Ok.” I said absently. 

I opened the door and stepped outside. I looked back down at her as I closed the door. What the fuck just happened. I felt like I was just dumped. I turned to my apartment building’s door and tried to take a step away from Nicole’s car. The step was too hard. It was impossible to take.

I whipped around before she could drive off and smacked her window with my palm. 

“Nicole,” I yelled. “I don’t want to find someone to kiss me, I want you to kiss me.” I felt the first tear sting down my cheek. 

Nicole’s car started to pull away from me, and I felt my whole stomach drop out from me. 

But instead of pulling away, her car pulled into a parking spot. Nicole opened her door, slammed it shut behind her and started to walk toward me.

So I continued, “I don’t want to kiss anyone. I want to kiss you. That’s why I freaked out at your place last week, I wanted to kiss you and that scared me. But now I know. I know I want to kiss you, and…” 

Nicole stepped up to me on the sidewalk, took my cheeks in her hands and gently guided my mouth to hers. Her lips were impossibly soft, in fact everything was soft: her nose, her cheeks against mine, her lips, her hands. So much softness. She kissed me. And I kissed her back, wrapping my arms around her neck, pulling her into me. I felt her French braid under my fingers. I didn’t want this to stop. Ever. 

She pulled away slightly, pressing her lips against my neck and I hugged her tight.

“I should go.” She whispered into my neck. She stepped back and looked me in the eyes.

“I promise I’ll wait for you until I get back, but I can’t ask you to do the same for me. It wouldn’t be fair.” 

How can she say that?

“Let’s see where we are when I get back at the end of the summer. If it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be.”

I pulled her back in for another kiss. This time I deepened it. I pressed my body to hers and opened my mouth to feel her tongue gently brush against the tip of mine. It felt electric and yet maddening. How could she be leaving, now that I found her? This was so not fair. 

After breaking the kiss, I asked, “Can you come upstairs?” 

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Please.”

“I’m not sure.”

“Please.” I rested my head on her chest, gripping the front of her shirt by her stomach. “Please.”

She cradled the back of my head in her hand. “Ok.”


	6. The Better Angels of our Nature

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I had to change the rating to Mature for this chapter.  
> Yep.
> 
> I’m going to take a cold shower now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second draft
> 
> Because everyone is rooting for Nicole and Waverly
> 
>  
> 
> (I did edit the love scene a bit- let me know what you think.)

Chapter 6  
“The Better Angels of our Nature” - A. Lincoln

When we got into my apartment, I turned to try and kiss her again, but she held me back.

“I meant what I said, that I don’t want to get involved right now. It will be too hard to walk away.”

I looked up into her eyes, “Then don’t.”

“Waverly, I have a job; I have to go.” She walked away, then turned to face me from across the room. “This is really important to me.”

“I know.” I looked down at my feet. “I know. I only have a few more hours with you, can we just spend them together?” I asked.

“I really need some sleep.” She groaned out.

“Then sleep here.”

Nicole flashed me a knowing look. 

“I mean it. Just sleep. Nothing else. I’m… I’m not ready to say goodbye.”

“Just sleep?”

“Just sleep. I promise.” I held up my right hand.

Nicole shrugged her assent and nodded her head. She looked like she was carrying the weight of the world in her eyes.

 

I found her a set of my pajamas to wear and we got ready for bed in an awkward silence. I wondered if she was regretting her decision to spend the night. She crawled into my bed first so I could put out the bedroom light. In the dark room, I lifted the blankets and snuggled in next to her. She put an arm around my neck and I rested my forehead on her shoulder. I tried to accept this for what it was. One night next to her before she left for three months. 

I put my hand out across her stomach and gripped the night shirt she was wearing in my palm. I was afraid that if I let go, she might get up and leave.

“Can I ask you something.” I mumbled into her shoulder.

“Uh huh.”

“Why don’t you want me to wait for you?”

“Because you’re just coming out and all of this is shiny and new. You’re probably going to be meeting all sorts of new people and you may want to explore this with them. I’d never want to hold you back. You should be free to explore your sexuality without the pressure of a long-distance relationship with someone you only just met.”

“Then why did you say that you’ll wait for me?”

Nicole didn’t speak up right away. For a moment, I wondered if she was asleep.

“Honestly… because I think you’re worth it,” came her reply.

I gripped her shirt tighter in my palm and pulled it to me as I tried to bury my smile in her shoulder. Nobody, not Champ, not anyone, had ever said something like that to me.

“Do you want me to see other people?” I eventually asked.

“No, but you should be free to, if you find the right person.”

“Maybe I already have.”

Nicole chuckled softly.

“You can ask me, you know.” I whispered.

“Ask you what?”

“To wait for you.”

“I know what it’s like to come out. I couldn’t do that.”

“Do you want me to wait?”

Nicole let out a sigh and cradled my head in her arm. “Yes, because whoever you meet won’t be stupid like me and let you go.” She turned her head and pressed a kiss to my forehead.

“Ask me.” I whispered.

I could feel her heart jumping under my cheek.

“Ask me, Nicole.”

“Wait for me.” She stated, almost a command. God, that’s sexy.

“I will” and I lifted my head up to kiss her again. 

I felt her other arm circle my waist and pull me on top of her. I brought my hands up to her neck, running my thumbs across her impossibly smooth cheeks. Her hands gripped my back and pressed me into her. And we kissed. Slowly. Deeply. And then we slipped off to sleep.

In the morning, both my arms and a leg were wrapped around Nicole. I was literally not willing to let her go. I felt her shift and groan under my limbs as we both started to wake. Hugging her more closely, I nuzzled a kiss into the back of her neck, her hair tickling my nose. I extracted a hand to scratch my nose and I heard a soft laugh escape from Nicole.

“Good morning.” She said, quietly.

“Morning”

She rolled over to face me and put an arm back under my neck. 

“So, I have a lot to do today, but I thought if you’re free, maybe you could join me.” She brushed a strand of hair off my forehead with her free hand. “Help me pack up and get ready to shut down my apartment for the summer.”

“I’d love to.” I knew I’d take whatever time I could get with her today.

“Great,” she smiled and kissed me gently on my lips. “There’s a bakery over by my apartment that I love. I thought maybe we could stop by there to pick up something for breakfast before heading back to my place.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

“Do you have anywhere you need to be today? I don’t want to just assume that you’re free for the whole day.”

“Assume away. I’m all yours.” At this Nicole smiled again, and I hugged her to me. 

“Ok, then I think we should get this show on the road.” She started to sit up.

I groaned and tried to pull her back down into the bed.

“Nope, no time for that.” She laughed. “Did you want to take a shower before we left?”

“Will you join me?”

“No!” She said emphatically. Then leaning down to rest her forehead on mine. “You are trouble.” I smiled playfully back at her. “I need to stay focused today, and that would be the very definition of a distraction.” 

I huffed out a small groan and folded my arms across my chest. Then a devilish idea crossed my mind.

“Fine! I’ll take a shower on my own.” I sat up and started to lift my sleep shirt over my head, my stomach and the bottom curve of my breasts exposed.

“Whoa!” Nicole launched herself out of bed. “I’ll wait for you in the kitchen.”

Damn it.

 

When we were both ready to leave, we climbed into Nicole’s dark green Subaru Outback, still parked where she’d left it last night to kiss me. I silently thanked her and God and any other higher power out there that she didn’t drive away last night.

I pulled the seatbelt over my chest and looked at Nicole. Her car smelled just like her, just like her apartment. I took a deep breath. 

“Have I told you how much I like your car?” I asked.

“You mean my Lesbaru?”

“Uh huh.” I felt the leather seat next to my thigh. “It really suits you.”

Nicole smiled at me. “Thanks. I love this car. I bought it with some of the inheritance after my dad died. This car has seen me through so much. It feels almost like a friend at times.” She ran her hand over the steering wheel. 

“I can tell you take great care of it.”

“Her, actually.”

“Her?” I asked.

“Juno, I named her Juno.”

“After the Roman Goddess?”

“Yep.”

“Why not Sappho?”

Nicole laughed out loud, “I like the Roman Gods better.”

I smiled at her; she was so surprising. I couldn’t wait to know more.

 

After a quick stop off at the bakery for some amazing looking donuts, we ended up at Nicole’s apartment. I stepped into the familiar front room and the scent of Nicole hit me again. I noticed that there were a couple boxes stacked up next to her dining room table, and the reality of her impending departure hit me once again. We were here to pack her up, not mess around and have fun. 

Nicole stepped up behind me and wrapped her arms around my shoulders. “Do you want coffee or tea to go with your donuts?” She spoke into my ear. 

“Coffee sounds great. How can I help get started?” I offered.

“Why don’t you put out the donuts on the table.” She pointed to her dining room table, “And help set up for breakfast. I can show you where the plates and things are.”

I nodded my head and she quickly kissed my ear before letting me go.

I set the box of donuts down on her table and followed her into the kitchen. She pointed up to an upper cabinet to indicate that the plates were in there. “Do you remember where the utensils are?” She asked as she started the coffee.

“Sure do.” I opened the drawer next to the fridge and pulled out a couple forks and spoons. I grabbed a couple napkins from her holder and walked back to her table to set up. After, I sat down at the table to watch her.

“Oh, by the way, I got some almond milk, in case you want some for your coffee.”

“You got almond milk. For me?”

“Well, you said you were vegan and I thought I’d try some, just to see what it was like.”

I was flabbergasted. “When?”

“Oh, um. Monday.” She didn’t look at me.

“You got almond milk for me, in case I came over again?” I got up and walked over to her.

“Well, I wanted to try it too. But yeah, sort of.”

“Even after I walked out on you?”

“Maybe.” She said softly, like she didn’t want to admit it.

“Why?”

Nicole spun around to face me with a puzzled look on her face.

“Because I like you.” She said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

I stepped up closer to her, just inches away, “I like you, too.” 

Nicole let out a heavy breath and smiled. She reached out a finger and lifted my chin, then kissed me lightly, teasingly, on my lips. I felt my insides melt under her touch. This was going to be a long-ass summer.

 

We finished breakfast and cleaned up, but before we could get started on packing, Nicole said that she needed to call her mom to check in and confirm the details for tomorrow. I could see a noticeable tension grow across her features. I felt bad that just calling her mom was causing this much stress, when she was hours away from living with her mom for three months. I followed Nicole into her small office. She had a bookshelf that was half full of books, a large desk that was completely bare on top and a comfy looking executive desk chair. Nicole sat down in the chair and pulled out her cell phone. I hopped up onto her desk in front of her.   
Nicole looked up at me from her chair. “I’m sorry, this is going to be really boring, but if I don’t check in, she’ll totally flip.” She apologized. 

“Don’t worry about me. I’m here to support you. You look a little worried, is all. Maybe I can help you relax.”

“I doubt it.” But she gave me a half smile in appreciation.

Nicole started her call and almost immediately I could see her stress level sky rocket. The tension in her body and voice was unmistakable. As she tried to reassure her mom that she was all packed and ready to go for tomorrow, I noticed that she clenched her fist.

Quietly, I reached out and pulled the fist into my hands and kissed the outside of her fingers. 

Nicole looked up at me and winked as she continued to talk to her mom. I pulled her hand up to my cheek and rested it there. Nicole moved her chair right up to the desk and between my legs. She opened her palm so that her hand stretched out over my cheek.

“Yes, I understand. I’ve already packed it. I have two boxes ready to ship.” There was a pause. “Today, I’m taking them to UPS today.” Another pause. “Yes, they’re open. And yes, I checked.” Nicole closed her eyes in frustration. 

I dragged her palm over my lips and kissed the center of her hand. I noticed a smile grow slowly across her mouth. I nuzzled her hand, rolling my cheek back across it, and her lips parted back over her teeth in a wide smile, her dimple showing through. She kept her eyes closed as she spoke to her mom, but the tension was disappearing.

“Yep, I have that packed, too.” She even sounded more relaxed. 

Feeling emboldened by the effect I was having on her, I slipped my other hand silently up to my shirt and undid the top three buttons without her noticing.

“I’m having a friend drop me off at the airport tomorrow, that way my car can stay here at the apartment.” Nicole’s eyes remained closed.

I opened my shirt as far as I could and took my left breast in my hand, pushing the fabric of my bra down to free it. I pulled Nicole’s hand back over to my lips and kissed her palm again. 

Another smile.

I lifted her hand from my lips and gently placed it on my freed breast.

Nicole’s eye shot open and looked up at me in shock. She didn’t move her hand, but just stared open-mouthed. I smiled back at her wickedly, but I suspected she wasn’t breathing anymore. I wondered if I had pushed her too far.

“No, no, I’m still here.” She croaked out, her jaw still hanging open. “Actually, Mom, I need to go. No, I’m fine. I need to go to the bathroom. Yeah, I’ll call you back in a few minutes.” She ended her call and tossed the cellphone on the chair behind her.

Gripping my breast for the first time, she pushed me down onto the desk as she rose above me. Her eyes were fierce, and I suddenly thought she could be mad. With her free hand she pressed my legs apart so that she could stand in between them.

“You!” She said with so much authority, it didn’t matter if she was mad, it made me wet to hear her. “You are terrible.” And her fierce look melted into a hungry grin. She ran her thumb over my nipple and I jumped under her surprisingly soft touch. “Did you think you could distract me?” She ran her hand up and down my breast.

I nodded, suddenly feeling like I went from predator to prey in no time flat. 

She cupped my breast in her hand and brought her mouth down over my nipple. Her tongue circled the sensitive skin already pulled tight. I groaned out. Her tongue was infuriatingly light compared to the pressure from her hand. I had no idea that I could feel both a light and hard touch at the same time. Nicole was pushing me into a whole new territory. I thought I knew my own body, but Nicole had managed to school me in less than thirty seconds. 

She lifted her lips from the tip of my nipple, the cool air stung the sensitive, wet skin.

Then she stepped back from the desk, pulled me into a sitting position, and slowly, lovingly, put my breast away back in my bra and re-buttoned my shirt. Now, I was the one sitting open mouthed.

I knew she’d make a great police officer one day because she had WAY more self-control than I did.

She pressed a kiss gently to my gaping mouth. “I really need to finish this call. Why don’t you wait for me on the couch.”

 

I sat on Nicole’s couch waiting for her to finish the call with her mom, again questioning if she was mad at me. She told me she didn’t want to start anything up right before leaving, but I thought we were beyond that at this point. Plus it wasn’t really starting something. It’s not like I was planning on having sex with her. 

Nicole emerged from her office and walked over to me. I stood up and held out my arms for a hug.

“I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable. I hope I didn’t make you mad.”

“Oh, I’m not mad. I’m far, far from it.” She wrapped her arms around me. “I just smiled through an entire conversation with my mom, all because of you. You have no idea how significant that is.” Nicole held me tight and I felt my own anxiety melt away.

“My mom is so good at pushing my buttons. She can drive me up a wall. She plays on every one of my insecurities. I’m a terrible daughter because I don’t call; I’m a terrible daughter because I’m gay; I’m terrible because I want to be a cop…”

“Police officer.” I corrected.

Nicole laughed, “See there you go again, pulling me out of it.” She sighed and shook her head. “This is the biggest reason I didn’t want to get involved with you. I’m about to spend three months living with my mom, and I know that it’s going to be really hard on me. I don’t want you to see me like this.” She paused, but I could sense she wasn’t done.

“I know she’s going to try to convince me to give up my dream of becoming a police officer. I absolutely know it. I think the only reason she’s agreed to this arrangement is so she can pick away at me. And part of me worries that she’s right. What if I’m not cut out for it?”

Now I needed to break in, “Nicole Haught!” I stopped for a moment, and frowned. “What’s your middle name?”

“Marie”

“Nicole Marie Haught! You are going to make the best police officer ever. You have so much compassion. I mean look at me, you got me almond milk after I freaked out on you. You took me out on a date to try and broaden my horizons without any expectations from me. You held me all last night because I needed you, even when you weren’t sure it was good for you.”

“Oh, it was good for me.” She chimed in.

“Plus you have so much courage.” I continued without missing a beat. “You are living your life openly gay and that takes an amazing amount of courage. It is so inspiring for me; you make me feel more comfortable with my being gay. And you faced the death of your father, face the death of your father, really, every day with so much grace. Anyone else would be broken by that, but not you.”

“But that’s just who I am.” She said

“Exactly!” I yelled out. “That’s who you are. You can’t teach that at a police academy. That’s what makes you so special, and it’s what’s going to make you an amazing police officer. The world needs more officers like you. So don’t you dare give up on your dream,” I grabbed onto the front of her shirt for emphasis. “I don’t care if the President of the United States of Frickin America calls and tells you to not become a police officer. Don’t listen to them. You are going to be amazing.”

Nicole was looking away from me, her chin and bottom lip started to shake and tears were forming in her eyes. I pulled her into the tightest hug I could manage, and I felt the dam break.  
Nicole coughed out a heavy sigh as she wrapped her arms around me. I could feel the tears falling onto my shoulder as she pulled in several deep, quavering breaths. My own tears rolled down my cheeks and onto her shirt. 

After several silent minutes, Nicole whispered, “Thanks. I needed to hear that.”

“I will always be here to remind you.”

She half laughed, half sobbed. “I’m going to miss you so much this summer.”

“Ditto.”

 

We finished our moment and cleaned up in her bathroom. As much as I wanted to spend the day holding her, I knew we had some work to get done. And secretly, I hoped that if we knocked out her packing super fast, I’d have some extra time to hold her again that evening.

“So what do we need to accomplish today?” I put on my best task-master voice.

“Ok, first I need to take those boxes to UPS to ship them home, and then I need to pack my clothes in the suitcase in the bedroom. I need to clean out my fridge, take out all the trash. I need to make sure nothing smelly is left behind to rot while I’m not here. Basically, I need to close down my apartment.” 

“So, can I suggest that we divide and conquer. I’m great at packing; Tetris is totally my bitch.”

Nicole snorted.

“Did you just snort?” I smirked at her.

“No, I definitely didn’t snort.” She coughed into her hand.

I eyed her suspiciously, “Anyway, why don’t I pack your clothes, while you take the boxes to UPS?”

“Sounds like a plan.” She clapped her hands together. “Do you want to put on some music?”

“Absolutely.”

So Nicole showed me how to use her sound system in the living room, then showed me which clothes to pack up. 

“I’ll be back shortly,” she leaned over to kiss my cheek. “Thanks, again, for helping me. This is way more fun with you here.”

I smiled sweetly back at her, “Of course.”

 

After Nicole left with her boxes, I connected my phone to her stereo to play some music, and headed into the bedroom. Nicole’s bedroom wasn’t large, but she had enough space for a queen-sized bed with a nightstand next to it. There was a tall chest of drawers against the wall at the foot of her bed. On top of the dresser was a small TV and a wooden picture frame. I took a closer look at the picture. It was an older photograph of what I presumed was Nicole with her dad. Nicole was sitting on a low branch of a tree and her dad was standing next to her. Nicole looked to be about nine or ten and was wearing a cowboy-like flannel with wide bottomed jeans. Her bright red hair hung loose down to her shoulders and she had a huge, gap-tooth grin. Her father had her same smile as well as her dimple, but not her red hair.   
Still, they looked like two peas in a pod. I ran a finger over the picture and made a mental note to ask Nicole about it when she got back.

 

I wasn’t kidding when I said packing was my thing. I had her suitcase packed in no time at all. I even weighed it to made sure it came in under fifty pounds. In fact, it weighed 49.5lbs.   
Boom.

I walked into her bathroom to see what I could do in there. I pulled out the trash and checked the cupboards for anything that could go bad. It was fairly simple, not much to rot in a bathroom. Under her sink, I found some cleaning supplies, so I started to wipe down her sink. Then moved on to the toilet. Finally, I began wiping down her shower. It was a small, standing shower, so I had to climb in to actually clean it. As I spun around to wipe down the back wall, my elbow bumped the faucet, and cold water rushed from the shower nozzle. I shrieked and tried to jump out of the way, smacking at the faucet handle to turn it off. Just then I heard a loud laugh.

“I didn’t realize there was going to be a wet T-shirt contest today.” Nicole was leaning on the doorway of the bathroom, smiling at me.

“Ha. Ha.” I said back. “Very funny, now can you get me a towel?”

“Sure,” she continued to giggle. She fetched a towel from her small linen closet and handed it to me. I wrapped myself up in the towel, bringing the ends to my face. God, even her towels smelled like her. I quickly considered taking one home with me.

“You ok?” she asked, no longer laughing.

“Yeah, but do you have some extra clothes I can borrow? I may have packed everything up, though.”

“Let me see.” 

I stepped out of the shower and followed her back into her bedroom. Nicole disappeared into her walk-in closet. From within, I heard her call out.

“Do you mind wearing PJs? I have some winter PJs that I’m not bringing with me; you could wear those?” She asked.

“PJs sound great, as long as they’re dry.”

She walked back out of the closet and handed the clothes to me. “I’ll step outside, let you change.”

“You don’t have to.” I said coyly.

“And let you distract me again? Maybe tonight.”

I smiled back at her, I liked the sound of that.

I quickly got changed and opened her bedroom door to let Nicole know I was done. She was in her kitchen, pulling food from her refrigerator and tossing most of it in the trash.

I walked up behind her and wound my arms around her waist. 

“I feel bad throwing most of this stuff out. Is there anything you want?”

I looked over her shoulder and shook my head. “Well, I’ll take the almond milk.”

“I can probably keep most of the condiments- ketchup and mustard won’t go bad, nor will the soy sauce.”

“Do you want me to start cleaning the kitchen?” I asked, stepping away from her.

“You don’t need to do that. I feel bad asking you to clean my house.” She stood up and faced me. “But the bathroom looks really great. Thank you.”

“No problem, plus the faster we finish the boring stuff, the sooner we get to fun stuff.”

“Hmm, I like fun stuff.”

“Me too. So get your pretty little ass back to work.”

Nicole turned back around and shook her butt at me.

“Careful, Officer. I may have to cite you for indecent exposure.”

“But I have pants on.” She quipped.

“Not if I tear them off of you.”

Nicole pursed her lips, biting back a retort. I winked at her and walked into the bathroom to get the cleaning supplies.

 

We made short work of the kitchen, and the rest of the apartment quickly fell into line. Nicole took two bags of trash down to her apartment’s dumpster. I stayed inside since I was still in her pajamas. After washing her hands when she got back, she turned to me and sighed.

“I feel really good about this.” She said as she looked around her living room. “Are you hungry?”

“Kind of.” Neither of us had eaten since that morning. 

“What are you in the mood for? Since I just cleaned out the kitchen, we are on a strict take-out diet.”

“I really like Thai food; how does that sound?”

“I love it.” 

 

We ordered our food, and Nicole got ready to go pick it up. 

“Do you want to see if there is something we can watch on Netflix?” 

“Sure, but don’t take too long. I’m already in PJs and ready to snuggle.” I said with my pouty face.

After she left, I got some plates, utensils, and things ready for dinner and put them on the living room table. Then I laid back on her couch and turned on the TV. I got it set to Netflix and was casually scanning through all the options when Nicole returned. The smell of the food was incredible. She came right over to the couch and I shifted my legs so she could sit down.  
She set the bag down on a hot pad that I’d found in her kitchen.

“What do you want to watch?” She snuggled in behind me on the couch, so that we were both stretched out. I turned to face her, and she rested her hand on my stomach.

“What do you like to watch?” I asked.

“Me? I like sci-fi. Star Wars, Guardians of the Galaxy, that kind of thing. What do you like?”

“Honestly?” I asked, blushing slightly. She nodded her head, running her hand across my stomach. Even though it was through a shirt, her touch was intoxicating. I lifted my free arm up to tuck my hand behind my head. It caused the PJ shirt to slide up, exposing a sliver of abs beneath it. 

“What do you like?” She asked, amused.

“Police procedurals.” I admitted.

“Oh, so you have a thing for cops.” 

I nodded. I felt transfixed under gaze. Her hand continued to circle my stomach until it dipped down to the exposed skin by my waist.

“What do you like about them?” Her voice was darker, deeper now. She leaned over and placed an incredibly light kiss to my temple. Her hand slipped under the shirt and I felt the smooth skin of her palm just above my waist.

My breathing became noticeably faster. Her touch was so light that my muscles jumped, and I felt a shudder run through me.

I couldn’t answer, my tongue was tied up in desire. 

“Is this ok?” She whispered in my ear. I nodded my head, and her smile grew.

“What do you like about them?” She repeated her question.

“The mystery” I breathed out. Her hand was making larger circles now. How can her palm be so soft. Champ’s was rough with calluses. Nicole’s hand was baby soft. I closed my eyes.

“You like mysteries? What about like seeing if my hand will wander up” she paused “or down?” I bit my lip and nodded.

“Well, you already let my hand wander up.” Here, she stopped as her hand crept up over my breast. “You’re not wearing a bra.” She stated, and I shook my head. I opened my eyes. 

Nicole was so beautiful, it hurt to look at her. She leaned over and lightly kissed me. I was quickly becoming lost in all the sensations.

Her thumb ran back and forth over my nipple, just like it did earlier. Her fingers held the outer swell of my breast. She didn’t squeeze, just touched. She rested her forehead on my temple. 

“You have perfect breasts.” She whispered. I bit down harder on my lip.

“I want to touch you.” Her voice broke through to my brain.

I held my breath. 

“May I?” 

I squeaked out a high pitch groan and nodded again.

“I want to hear you say it.” She crooned.

“Yes,” I coughed out.

“I want to be the first woman to touch you.” 

I nodded furiously. Her hand began it’s slow, torturous journey south.

“Just in case you meet someone else this summer, I want to be your first.” Her hand slid down my abs.

God, is she really worried about that now?!

“I want to be the first woman to show you how beautiful you are.” Her hand was at the waist of the PJ bottoms.

I let out a sigh.

“I want to be the first woman to drive you crazy.”

Yep, I’m there.

Her hand slipped under the waistband of the bottoms and I knew that there was nothing left between her hand and me. I spread my legs open, as much as I could manage on the couch. It was like my body was calling out to her fingers.

“I can’t wait to see how wet you are.” Her words opened the flood gates. I cried out in frustration.

Her fingers played with my pubic hair, running slowly back and forth. 

Stop it, just touch me for fuck’s sake, I wanted to scream, but I couldn’t. The words were trapped in me.

Then a single finger slipped down inside me. “Oh GOD!” I cried.

Nicole’s mouth pressed hard against my ear, but her finger remained light against me.   
“You are so fucking wet,” she cursed.

She pulled her hand back so that two fingers rested on my tip. Soaked with my moisture, they began to crawl around so soft that my hips jumped up to meet her touch. 

“God, Nicole!” I cried out. Her fingers found a slow rhythm and my pelvis matched with its own.

After a few minutes, she hummed in my ear, “You feel so ready.” Yet her fingers remained maddeningly light as they circled me like vultures.

“Are you close?” She asked and I pulled in a sharp gasp.

I was ready. I was more than ready. I think I was born ready for this.

“Tell me.”

“Don’t stop!” I moaned out.

And her fingers pressed down against me.

And then I died.

I must have died.

Because I came  
So fucking hard  
I swear  
I saw  
GOD.

 

When I recovered enough to open my eyes, I saw that Nicole’s eyes were warm and wide, and she wore a happily stunned expression.  
“Wow!” 

My sentiments exactly.  
Only I couldn’t talk yet.


	7. Departure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s time for Nicole to leave for the summer. Waverly tries to accept that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second draft
> 
> Your comments have been lovely. I can’t thank you all enough. It encourages me to keep going.

Chapter 7  
Departure

 

“Wow,” Nicole repeated, and her voice triggered a tremor that shook my whole body.

“You ok?” Another tremor. I slowly nodded my head. 

Her fingers still rested on me, but I was glad she kept them still. Any movement would be too much.

She started to lean over to kiss me and another shudder seized me. She laughed gently and pressed her lips to the side of my head instead.

“Still a little sensitive?”

I nodded my head again, but a huge smile broke out across my face. I took in a deep breath and shuddered out a sigh.

“How was it?” She asked.

I playfully pushed at her and shook my head.

Really Nicole, I thought, I am literally lying here speechless with your hand down my pants. How, the fuck, do you think it was?

I placed my hand on the back of her head and pulled her down for a kiss. She gently lifted her fingers and another shudder wracked my body. I felt her smile against my lips. She leaned up slightly, pulling her hand free from the pajama bottoms and placed it on my hip.

“That was pretty intense.”

“Uh huh,” I grunted out, and pulled her in for another kiss.

Breaking the kiss, Nicole pressed down gently on my hip as she moved to sit back up. She offered a hand to me, to help me sit up, too. I shook my head. I wasn’t ready to move just yet.

“So, ah, are you hungry?” She asked looking over at the bag of food sitting on the table.

I let out a long sigh, “Not really. But you go ahead and eat.”

I shifted up a bit, but she flipped herself and stretched out along my body. “You are so beautiful.” She gently kissed me and I wrapped my arms around her waist, humming into her mouth. 

After a bit, I pulled my head back, “I think I need to go to the bathroom and get cleaned up.”

“Yeah, ah, me too. You go first, though.” She rolled off me and sat up. Nicole offered both her hands to help pull me to a sitting position.

I put my feet down on her floor. “I’ll be right back,” I said with a wink, and stood up to walk to her bathroom. Every joint in my body felt loose. Fuck yoga, I just need Nicole to touch me more often.

 

When I got back, Nicole was pulling out the white styrofoam boxes with our food. She leaned back into the couch, and I climbed into her lap, straddling her legs, facing her. 

“Everything good?” She asked, placing her hands on my hips.

I nodded, biting my lip. 

“You made me feel incredible. You know that, right?” I asked, brushing a strand of hair from her forehead.

“I had an idea.” She winked and smirked.

Oh, I loved the look of cocky Nicole.

“I don’t want you heading off this summer thinking you didn’t just rock my world.” 

Her grin stretched out across her whole face and she squeezed my hips. “Yeah?”

I nodded my head. 

“I felt pretty rocked myself.”

“But I didn’t touch you.” I questioned.

“You didn’t have to.” And she sat up, pulled my hips into her, and kissed me. 

Seriously, I JUST cleaned up.

 

After a few bites of lukewarm vegan pad Thai for me and drunken noodles for Nicole, we both agreed that dinner didn’t hold the same appeal. Instead we opted to migrate to her bedroom, where we could snuggle up together and watch something from her bed. 

 

The day was passing by so quickly, the evening descending so fast, I felt a pit in my stomach growing into a tree. Nicole found us both a pair of clean PJs, I picked out another winter set since I was always so cold. Nicole went with boxers and a tank top.

I have to admit, she looked really good in boxers, better than Champ, because the loose fabric accentuated the curve of her slender hips. Plus, they made her look pretty badass. 

We crawled into bed together and I reveled in the fact that she had a down comforter. I silently wondered if I’d be warm enough between Nicole and the comforter, to strip out of the PJs entirely. I was considering this when Nicole broke my thoughts.

“I was wondering if you were free to drive me to the airport tomorrow?” Nicole shifted onto her side to face me. “My friend, Amanda, is supposed to pick me up tomorrow morning, but if you could drive me, we can take Juno. Then you could have Juno for the summer, maybe take her out for a spin every now and then?”

Summer school classes weren’t set to start for another week and while I knew I had things to do at my apartment, and I needed to look for a summer job, I didn’t want to miss the opportunity to spend the last couple hours with Nicole. I was quickly becoming addicted to her welcoming presence in my life. 

“I think I can swing that.” I tried to sound coy rather than desperate. 

“Great,” she whispered. “I’ll let Amanda know she doesn’t need to drive me.” Nicole slipped out of bed to go get her phone. I lay back and let out a deep breath. This was happening too fast.

When she came back to bed, she said that we were all set for tomorrow morning.

“When do we need to get going?”

“My flight is at noon, so I need to be at the airport by ten, so we need to leave here by nine at the latest. Did you want to grab a breakfast on the way up? Because we could leave here at eight and stop for breakfast?”

The morning was getting earlier and earlier. My time with Nicole shorter and shorter. I didn’t feel like eating anything at that moment and wasn’t sure I’d be up for it then, but I agreed to get up an hour earlier to find some food on the way.

Nicole snuggled down under the covers and I wrapped an arm and leg around her body. I felt like I was on the verge of tears, but I tried to puff myself up in case Nicole wanted to have sex again, in case it was my turn to try.

“So, Baby,” I pulled lightly at the shoulder of her tank top. “What did you have in mind for tonight?” I ran my nose up her neck.

“Would you be mad if we just talk?”

“No,” I shook my head, secretly a little relieved. 

“I just thought that maybe you’d want me to take a turn, you know, touching you.”

“Waverly, I don’t expect you to reciprocate. This isn’t a tit for tat. I said it before, I’m willing to wait for you. I can wait for that, too. This is new for you, I don’t want to push you into something you’re not ready for.” Here, she paused, like she was steeling herself. “In fact, I’m worried I pushed you too far this evening. We haven’t talked about that yet and I kind of got sucked up in the moment and didn’t really stop to ask if you were comfortable with taking that step.” The gravity in her voice made me stop and sit up.

“You’re worried you pushed me too far?”

Nicole didn’t make eye contact but nodded. “I should have stopped and asked you.”

“You did ask me, in fact I remember you forced me to say the word ‘yes’ even though I could barely speak.”

“I know, but we didn’t talk about it beforehand. I want you to know, you can always tell me to stop.”

“Nicole, I appreciate that, but if you had stopped what you were doing on the couch, I think I may have throttled you.” Nicole laughed. “I mean it. Just the fact that you asked at all is way more than Champ ever did. He’d start rubbing up against me and I’d have to say no and push him off.” I shook my head at the memories of Champ.

“He didn’t deserve you.”

“No, he didn’t.” I smiled down at Nicole. “But I think you do.”

“I hope so.”

I cuddled back down with her and buried my face in her shoulder. “Can I say something?”

“Of course.”

“I’m a little worried about reciprocating.” I let the sentence hang in the air; Nicole didn’t interrupt. “I’m a little worried I won’t be very good at it.”

“Baby, you don’t need to worry about that. I don’t expect you to do anything.”

“I know, but eventually…”

“Well, when the time is right, I’m sure you’ll be amazing because it’s you. And we’ll figure out the details together.”

“I don’t want you to be disappointed.”

Nicole chuckled, “Baby, I’m already not.”

I loved the way her voice sounded when she called me ‘baby.’ I hid a smile in her side, and circled her stomach with my arm. I could feel the ribbed texture of the tank top under my skin.

“Can I ask you something else?”

“Sure.”

“Can we sleep naked tonight?” I hesitated, “I mean, if you’re comfortable with it. And I’m not asking for sex, either, I was just thinking it’d be nice to feel you rather than your tank top, not that it’s not nice, and I really like your boxers by the way…”

“Waverly,”

“Uh huh?”

“That would be fine.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” 

I couldn’t hide my smile anymore. Nicole sat up, pushed back the covers, and without batting an eye, pulled her tank top up and over her head, then slipped her boxers off and tossed them on the floor. My mouth hit the floor, she was beyond gorgeous and completely unashamed.

“Wow,” I muttered under my breath.

“That’s my line.” She smirked, lying back down.

She looked up at me without saying a word. I was wondering if she expected me to say something about her body, but then I realized that I still had my PJs on. 

I quickly fumbled with my clothes, suddenly feeling a little self-conscious, but I had asked… It wasn’t that I was worried about my body, really, but she was just so confident with hers.   
I pulled off my clothes and tossed them onto the floor with Nicole’s. I noticed that she wasn’t staring at my body the way I did hers. Instead, she kept her eyes on mine and stretched out her arm for me. I cuddled back in. It was amazing. She was so warm and soft. In my head, I started to list off the differences between Champ’s body and Nicole’s, and before I knew it, I was asleep. It was like counting off the sexiest sheep.

 

In the morning, when the alarm went off, I woke to find that, ironically enough, I was the big spoon. Nicole hit snooze and I slowly came to, pressing my face into her back and hugging her to me. Suddenly, my eyes shot open when I realized exactly where my hand was draped. 

“Oh my God, my hand is on your boob.” I quickly said, apologetically. “Oh my God, my hand is on your boob.” This time surprised. And finally, “OH MY GOD! My hand is on your boob!” I said, impressed with myself.

Nicole laughed at me. “Well, what do you think?”

“I like it.” I said, a little shocked, a little proud.

“Good, so do I.” She chuckled, then spun around and pulled me into a kiss. 

 

The morning was a whirlwind, we were too busy pulling last minute things together to really think too much about the summer months looming before us. Nicole said she’d leave me a key to her apartment so I could use it as well as check up on it, and I agreed to run a last load of laundry with our PJs and the towels. 

We didn’t bother making coffee, so we wouldn’t have to clean it up, instead we chose to wait until we got to breakfast. Just as I thought, I wasn’t very hungry, but didn’t feel comfortable saying that to Nicole. I was worried that I was ruining the morning she’d planned for us. 

I was back in the clothes that I wore the day before, and Nicole was in a pair of stretchy denim and a light T-shirt with a sweatshirt to carry on board in case the plane was cold (my idea).   
Nicole carried her large suitcase down to the car while I carried her second, smaller, carry-on suitcase and her backpack. Juno was packed and we were ready to head out at ten minutes to eight. 

We sat in Juno and again it hit me how much her car smelled like her. Nicole turned to face me.

“Do you still want to go to the restaurant or would you prefer the Uptown Bakery again?”

“Honestly, I don’t know how much I can eat right now. My nerves always hit my stomach first. So you pick whatever you want.”

Nicole gave me a hard look. “Are you ok?”

“Yes and no, I’m not looking forward to saying goodbye.”

“Me too.”

“Are you hungry?”

“Not especially, but I could use some coffee. How about we stop at Uptown and just get something to drink.”

I took a deep, bracing breath, “Ok. Let’s go.”

 

The line at Uptown was longer this morning, a Sunday morning rush. The shop-front smelled sweet, like frosting and vanilla. The cases were full of confections and cakes, while a back shelving unit was piled with rows of donuts. They all looked tempting, but I didn’t trust my stomach and thought I’d stick to a soothing Sunshine Herbal Tea. Nicole got a large coffee and a single glazed donut. She held out the donut for me, to see if I wanted a bite, but I smiled and shook my head. 

 

When we got back to her car, Nicole suggested that she drive up since I’d have to drive back. And since we didn’t stop for a full breakfast, we’d probably have some time to park at the airport so I could walk her inside. 

“Do you want to plug in your phone and play some music?” Nicole asked, as we pulled out of Uptown’s parking lot.

“Sure,” I shuffled with my phone and got it set up. “What do you want to listen to?” I asked.

“I don’t know, surprise me. But nothing too slow, at least not until my coffee kicks in.”

I quickly scanned my playlists. They were all titled things like: Love Songs, Smooth Moves, Mellow Yellow, Study Music…

Was I really this much of a sap? I switched to Artists: Adele, Al Green, Alicia Keys, Alison Krauss. Jeez

Then it hit me, I’d recently found a pop singer named Zaz, and had fallen in love with her music. It was funky, raw, and fun. 

As the opening notes of her self-titled album started, Nicole nodded her head with an approving grin. 

“Who is this?” 

“Her name is Zaz, she’s a French singer. I love her sound.”

“Yeah. I wish I understood French so I knew what she’s singing.” 

I started to translate the lyrics for Nicole, and her mouth fell open.

“Languages are kind of my thing.”

“Wow. That is so cool. Ok, so you know Latin and French, any other languages?”

“I know five languages, six if you count Klingon.”

Nicole shrieked, “YOU KNOW KLINGON!” I snickered at her delight. “Please say something.”

“bortaS blr jablu’Dl’reH QaQqu’ nay’” 

Nicole bit her lips to hold back her glee, “What does that mean?”

“Revenge is a dish best served cold.”

Nicole burst out laughing. 

“Is it too soon to say I love you?” She giggled, wiping a tear from her eye. I smacked at her arm and laughed out, too.

I watched Nicole with her beautiful, dimpled smile. She was incredible. She had me laughing out loud when minutes before I was feeling like I could throw up from stress. Maybe it was too soon, but it didn’t feel far from the truth.

 

When we got to the airport, we found a parking spot in the hourly lot. Nicole grabbed her large suitcase and put on her backpack. I agreed to pull her carry-on. Nicole took my free hand in hers and gave me a wink. We walked, hand in hand, through the parking lot, through the entry of the airport, and were still holding hands when we stopped in the bag drop-off line. I glanced around me to see if anyone was watching us. 

“You ok?” Nicole checked in with me, squeezing my hand.

“Do you ever get worried about what other people think.” I asked, holding up our locked hands for emphasis.

“Not really. Most people don’t care. Even if they do care, I’ve hardly ever had anyone actually say something. Plus,” she lifted my hand to her lips, “I’m super proud to be with you. If anything, they’re probably jealous of me.”

“Charmer,” I bumped her lightly with my shoulder. “Aren’t you just as sweet as your donuts.” I smirked at her. 

“For you, anything.”

We made our way through the line, Nicole never once let go of my hand. Only when she was called up to the representative did she finally release it, so she could pull out her ID. 

 

Once her suitcase was checked through, we headed toward the security line. This was the end of the line for me. We were finally and actually here: the jumping off point for the summer.

Nicole looked around the open space outside the security area. “I thought there’d be a cafe or some place to sit. Other than where the ticketing area is.”

I glanced down at my watch. “How long do we have?” I asked, dreading the answer.

“She looked down at her phone, “maybe ten more minutes.” She looked up at me, and must have seen my worried expression because she apologized. 

“I know you have to go. I know this is a great opportunity for you. I hope your mom doesn’t get in the way, too much. If she does, I’ll send her a picture of my breast.” 

Nicole laughed softly. “How about you send it to me instead.”

“Are you saying she wouldn’t be comforted by my breast? I think my breasts are very comforting.” I said as earnestly as I could, a smile creeping out.

Nicole leaned over and placed her mouth just above my ear. “Baby, I was very comforted by your breasts last night.” My smile exploded. 

Nicole wrapped her arms around me. I dropped the handle of her carry-on and pulled her into a tight hug. I lifted my chin to rest it upon Nicole’s tall shoulder. I looked out around us. Nobody seemed to be watching us, but I noticed two other couples doing the same thing. They must be saying goodbye to their loved ones, too. Loved ones, is that what we are now? Are we a couple? I felt like we were, but we didn’t talk about it. She’s leaving for months and I don’t know if she’s my girlfriend. Why did I fall asleep so early last night? We could have talked about this, but now it felt too late. I didn’t want to be the couple trying to figure out if we even were a couple at the security line in the airport. 

I watched the other couples, closed my eyes, just held Nicole tighter in my arms. That would have to be good enough for now. 

“Everything ok?” She whispered.

I shook my head. Her voice was opening me up. I felt the first shuddering breath leave my lungs and a tear roll down my cheek. Now I really was the stereotypical girl, weeping over her lover’s departure. Nicole stooped down and wrapped her arms lower down my back. Then she crushed me in a vise-like grip as she lifted me off the floor. She dropped one arm under my hips as I wrapped my legs around her waist. 

“Baby,” I heard her whisper in my ear, her face tucked into my neck. 

I nodded into her shoulder. Yes, I’m your baby. Whatever that means, that’s what I want to be.

 

She held me for about a minute, but it felt like it could’ve been ten. Then I started to feel her arms shake under me. I straighten out my legs and slid down to the ground.

“I should probably head out. I don’t want to, but I probably should.”

I nodded again, not trusting my voice.

“I’ll call you as soon as I land.” Nod.

“I’m going to miss you so much.” Nod, nod, nod.

“I’ll be thinking about you the whole time.” It felt like Nicole was dancing around an ‘I love you,’ trying to talk herself into one. I didn’t want her to say it unless it was right, so I cut her off.

“You better not think about me the whole time.” I cough-laughed. “I expect you to catch some bad guys, save the day, and generally be a hero.” I pulled back to smile at her. I knew I still had tears in my eyes, but I wanted her to know I meant what I said. If she was going to be apart from me for the whole summer, I expected her to make the most of it. It very damn well better be worth it. I was sucked up into my own emotions, but ultimately, this wasn’t about me at all. This was about Nicole, and what was best for her.

 

So I attempted to pull myself together. We kissed sweetly, once, twice, a handful of times. Then she took my hand, squeezed it, leaned in for another last kiss, gathered her bags and walked off into the security area. The TSA agent checked her boarding pass before allowing her to enter the screening area downstairs. Nicole walked back to the escalator, looked back over her shoulder at me. I smiled and waved. She smiled and winked, as her head disappeared behind the metal arms of the stairs. 

It made me think about Leia and Han Solo at the end of “Empire Strikes Back”-  
I love you.  
I know.

I made it back to Nicole’s apartment about an hour later. I intended on doing the laundry and double checking the kitchen. As I walked into her apartment, however, the smell of her overwhelmed me. I curled into a ball on the couch where she touched me, pulled her warm blanket over me, and reminded myself to keep breathing.


	8. A phone call with Nicole

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A fluffy phone call with Nicole Haught backstory.

Chapter 8  
A Phone call with Nicole

I was lying on Nicole’s couch, breathing: missing and breathing and thinking. The past two days felt like a haze, a beautiful dream, but now I was back where I started from. Just as confused, just as wind blown and tossed. I knew I was attracted to Nicole, but that’s where my information left off. That’s where my confusion began. I thought back to my relationship with Champ. Was that me just trying to fit in, or was there something more to it? Am I gay, or bi? And what does that even mean? Does it matter if I find a label for myself, or can I just be Nicole’s baby? Does it need to be more than that? It felt like it should be. I wanted to call her my girlfriend, but I wasn’t sure how Nicole would feel about that. Was I jumping into this too quickly? Should I have stayed single, left my options open, like Nicole first suggested? I felt like questions were raining down on me, as I lay wrapped up in her blanket, and the one person I desperately wanted to help me navigate them was on a plane to Oregon.

 

The one thing I knew for sure was how I felt wrapped up in Nicole’s arms last night. I could see her dark, warm eyes looking into me, seeing far past what Champ ever looked for. I thought about when we studied together, how easy it was to be near her, how comfortable I was. At least until I thought about kissing her. On our Not-Date, I got lost in her stories, in her voice, in her smile. These weren’t the answers to my questions, but maybe a good starting point. Yes, I missed her. The missing was a physical pain, but there was something else. Strength. I looked around her living room, at everything I knew of Nicole, and I drew in strength as I drew in her scent to my lungs. This does exist, she wasn’t a dream, and my feelings were very real. 

 

I was still curled up on Nicole’s couch watching a movie when she called that night. I was no longer lost in feeling sorry for myself, but enjoying all things Nicole. I had grabbed a few of the photos of Nicole from around her apartment and set them on the table in front of the couch. I wanted to slip into the pool of Nicole and submerge.

“Hey baby, I made it.” I heard her voice like a salve.

“Hi sweetie, I hope you don’t mind, but I’m sitting on your couch, watching your movies, wrapped up in your blanket and pretending it’s you.”

Nicole laughed. “I hope it’s a suitable substitute.”

“I’ll let you know when I go to bed.” 

She dropped her phone.

“So what else have you been up to today?” She quickly asked, picking up her cell.

“Actually not much. Will you be mad if I admit that I’ve spent the day in your apartment? I don’t mean to sound weird, but I just wanted to remind myself that you’re real.”

“No, I get it. I was thinking about that myself on the plane. We didn’t take any pictures of us together. I wish that I had a few with me this summer.”

“I can send you some selfies, if you want.” I answered.

“I’d like that.”

“Will you send me some of you, too?” I asked. It seemed like a big oversight on our part.

“Of course. So what were you thinking about while hiding away in my apartment?”

“Well, I was thinking about what this means for me; am I gay, or bi, or something else. And what does that make my relationship with Champ, like was that real, or just convenient? And now that I’m with you, how do I tell people…”

“Wow, you’ve been busy.” Nicole cut me off. “Actually, I’m glad you said that, I’ve been thinking about some of those things too.”

“Yeah? Like which ones?”

“Like who I can tell. I don’t want to out you if you’re not ready for that. But I was texting with Mack before I got on the plane and I wasn’t sure what to tell him.”

“What did you say?”

“He asked about how our date went on Friday and I said it went very well and kinda left it at that.”

Hearing Nicole talk about us made me smile. 

“Have you talked to Laura about this? I know you two are really close.” Asked Nicole.

“No,” I was surprised to say. I hadn’t talked to Laura since she came over to help me pick out my outfit. She was the one who set us up, so I wasn’t too worried about telling her, but it only just dawned on me that I had gone a couple days without talking to her.

“What do you plan on telling her?” Nicole asked.

“I don’t know, I’ll probably end up telling her everything, because she’ll pull it out of me eventually.”

“I hope you won’t tell her EVERYTHING.” Nicole stressed.

“No silly, not THAT.”

I could hear Nicole laugh. “Even though THAT was pretty awesome.”

“That was.” I agreed, humming into the phone.

“So is it ok if I tell Mack that we’re together?”

“That was one of my questions; are we together? Like, are you my girlfriend?”

“I’d like that, if you’re comfortable with it.”

“Sure. I’d like that, too.” I smiled and mouthed the word girlfriend, trying it out.

“Are you ok if I tell Doc and Dolls?”

I thought about it for a moment. It seemed harmless enough. They liked Nicole, so they obviously wouldn’t care if I was gay, too. And it’s not like I knew them at all.

“Sure, I think that would be fine.”

“Is there anyone you don’t want me to tell?”

Again, I was thrown off a bit by the question. I was not really sure who she knew, or who she would tell. I wasn’t sure who I would tell, for that matter.

“I don’t know.”

“How about this, it’s summer, not many people are around during the summer and I’m at home, so it’s not like I’m going to see anyone. We’ll just leave it at Mack and Laura and see how you feel as we go.”

“That sounds like a plan.” 

Nicole seemed to know exactly what I was feeling and how best to make me feel comfortable.  
“How do you do that?” I asked.

“Do what?” 

“Anticipate what I’m worried about and know how to handle it.” I said.

“I’ve done this before, coming out. I know what it’s like. You hear stories and you think it’s just a one time thing, but in reality, it’s a process. It happens every day. You decide who to tell, who not to tell. You have to navigate that every day.”

“I guess that makes sense.” I was a little worried. I thought the biggest hurdle was accepting it myself, but talking to Nicole, I realized that I needed to figure out this part, too. Who would I tell, or not tell.

“How did it go when you told your friends?” I asked.

“Most of my friends already suspected. I guess I wasn’t that hidden in high school. I thought I was, but I wasn’t. My two best friends from high school, besides John- who knew anyway- were both like, “yeah, and tell me something I don’t know.’ So they had no problem with it.” 

“Did anyone react badly?”

“Only one person didn’t take it well. Actually, one family. The parents of one of my friends were very religious, and they sent me a book on becoming an ex-gay with Jesus. They also forbid their daughter from seeing me again.”

“Were you close to that friend?”

“Sort of, we were closer in high school. We played softball together a lot, but we drifted apart when we left for college. Her family was really there for us when my Dad passed away. They were good friends with my mom. So that kinda hurt.”

“I can imagine.”

“So after that, I haven’t really come out much at home. I was away at college, so it didn’t seem that important anyway.”

“Gotcha. So what was it like for you here?” I asked.

“After my first kiss, I dated a little, but I didn’t really have a girlfriend until a bit later. Now all of my friends at college already know that I’m gay and don’t care. Being out helps screen out some of the people who aren’t comfortable with it. I’m guessing you’ll find that, too. People who aren’t comfortable with you being gay won’t seek you out as a friend in the first place.”

“Do you think I’m gay?” I asked, cautiously. 

“Well, what do you think?”

“I know I had feelings for Champ, but it seems like my feelings for you are stronger. I know we only just met, so I don’t really know what to think. You said you knew you were gay after your first kiss.”

“What did you think after our first kiss?”

“That I wanted to kiss you again.”

Nicole laughed.

“I don’t mean to sound obvious, but my feelings were more about you, not how I felt about myself. Does that make sense?”

“That makes perfect sense. I’ve heard that being bi is like being attracted to the person, not the sex. Does that sound like you?”

“Sort of, but I’m not sure. I kinda want to call myself gay, but it’s like I don’t believe myself, like I’m cheating or lying.”

“I don’t think there’s a right or wrong answer here. Just call yourself whatever makes you feel most comfortable. Or call yourself nothing, don’t label yourself at all.”

“Now that really feels like cheating. It’s like I’m saying I’m too scared to admit I’m gay.”

“No, it’s not.” She tried to reassure me.

“But you look so confident being gay. I want that, too.”

“Then say you’re gay, and don’t worry about what anyone else thinks.”

“That’s easier said than done.”

“You are SO right. It’s not always easy to say I’m gay, either. I’ve been doing it for a while, so that helps, but there are times that I let it go. People ask me about boyfriends and I just let it slide. I don’t feel like getting into it at the time. Or it’s just easier to not say anything.”

“Ah, so there are cracks in your gay fortress.” I joked.

“Yep, I’m not the super-gay you thought I was. I’m sorry.”

“That’s sweet. It makes me feel better, like I’m not alone.”

“Baby, you aren’t alone. You have me, and I know Mack and Laura will be fine with it, too. You don’t have to do this by yourself.”

“Thanks, sweetie.” I cuddled the phone to my ear and curled up into a ball on her couch. “I miss you.”

“I miss you, too, baby. I want you to know I’m here for you, even if I’m not there for you. Wait, did that come out wrong?”

“No,” I laughed, “I know what you meant.”

“Good”

“Can I ask you something else?”

“Sure, what is it?”

“What was your first time with a woman like?”

“Oh no,” Nicole groaned. “Are you sure you want to know about that?” I could hear her wince.

“Why, what happened?”

“Nothing bad,” she reassured me. “But apparently nothing good either.”

“What?!”

“It’s a long, completely embarrassing story. But the short of it is that I wasn’t very good at it.”

“You’re kidding me. You weren’t good at it?”

“That’s what she said.”

“NO!” I exclaimed, horrified. “Someone actually told you that you weren’t good in bed? What an ass.”

“Well, it was my first time and she wasn’t much of a teacher. So I totally get your anxiety about the first time. But trust me, I’d never let anything like that happen to you.”

“What happened?”

Nicole groaned again. “Are you sure you want to know. This is my deepest shame we’re talking about here.”

“I promise I’m not judging. Plus, I know perfectly well how good you are now. So no worries. You’re not going to scare me away.”

Another groan came out across the line.

“Baby,” I said in my sweetest voice. “Please?”

“Fine. I can’t believe I’m telling you this.” 

My grin was ear to ear and I bit my nail in anticipation.

“Are you sure?” She hesitated.

“Yes.”

“Ok. Ok. So I was a newly minted lesbian. I was armed with my first kiss and ready to get out in the world, so I went out to Bullwinkles, you know- the gay bar, on my own…”

“Lookin for love?”

“Something like that. I got out on the dance floor and was just dancing by myself, scanning the ladies when this woman approached me and asked to dance. Of course I said yes. But she was so forward, she just grabbed onto my ass like it was hers and pulled me into her. I was like- whoa, so this is how lesbians dance. It wasn’t that I minded, but I was shocked that she would just grope me like that. Eventually we found our groove, and it was pretty exciting to be shown so much affection. It wasn’t like I had guys throwing themselves at me, so it was a whole new experience to be desired like that. It felt really nice.”

“Was she cute?” I was curious.

“Yeah, she was pretty. She had long, curly hair and in her heels, she was almost as tall as me. She looked like she was little older than me, too. So we were grinding on each other and then she started kissing me on the dance floor, too. Again, it wasn’t that I was upset about it, but it just took me off guard. She just assumed that I was ok with kissing her because we were dancing. And I guess I was, but it was definitely fast. It wasn’t like we were talking about it, so I decided to try and go with the flow.”

“Wow, now I see why you asked me if I was ok with everything.”

“I don’t want to make it sound like I wasn’t into it. I was. But it was really surprising. So we’re basically making out on the dance floor and I was feeling like I won the lottery or something. I couldn’t believe how easy it was. And then she asked me to go home with her. I was dumbfounded; I felt terrified and like a major stud muffin all at the same time.”

“You are totally a stud muffin,” I giggled. I loved hearing that she was scared, too.

“So she drove me to her place. I had literally no idea what I was doing, I only just came out, and there I was in some woman’s apartment and she was practically tearing my clothes off. I started taking her clothes off, too, but apparently I was taking too long because she undressed herself, as well. I was trying to think of a sexy way to let her know that this was my first time, but she wasn’t too interested in talking. After she got undressed, I was looking at her unsure about what to do next and she said- ‘Well, don’t just stare at them.’ That was pretty much the beginning of the end. She eventually told me she could do a better job herself, and I was so embarrassed that I got dressed and left.”

“Oh my God, that’s terrible. Did you ever tell her that it was your first time?”

“Yes, but she didn’t care, she said- ‘That’s what I get for picking up a baby-dyke.’”

“A baby-dyke?”

“Someone who is young, just out, a little more on the butch side. A little more obviously gay.”

“Am I a baby-dyke?”

“No, not really. You don’t come across as obviously gay.”

“My hair is too long to be a lesbian, huh?”

“Baby, your hair is gorgeous.”

“Yeah, you like it?”

“I love it. I love how feminine you can be. I can’t believe how lucky I am that you want me.”

“I feel like I’m the lucky one.” 

Nicole laughed. “It’s actually refreshing, you seem comfortable just being you. You aren’t trying to fit into a stereotype.”

“Give me some time, I’m new at this, maybe I’ll shave my head and start wearing Doc Martins.”

“Baby, even if you shaved your head, you’d still be the same sweet Waverly.”

“Aw, now I want to kiss you. Way to make a girl miss you even more, Haught.”

She chuckled softly into the phone.

“So, what happened after you left the crazy lady’s house?”

“I went on a few dates, but I was really afraid of getting intimate after that. Then I met my first girlfriend, Shea, and she sort of walked me through the sex part.”

“Tell me about Shea.” I picked up a picture of Nicole from the table and propped it up against my knees. In it, Nicole was standing at an overlook with a long mountain range stretching out behind her. Her arms were open wide and she had the biggest smile, her dimple showing clearly. 

“Shea was a great first girlfriend, she took away all my fears about having sex and made me feel really comfortable.”

“So why did you break up?”

“Honestly, the relationship kinda fizzled out after the first couple months. She was really busy; she was in med school and didn’t have as much time for our relationship.”

“So how did she teach you about sex?” I asked.

“It’s funny, she told me I needed to learn how to masterbate.”

“WHAT!?” My eyes bugged out.

“Yeah. Actually, it was great advice. She told me that if I knew how to please myself, I’d feel better about pleasing her. And it was true. I’d never had an orgasm before I met Shea, so I REALLY had no idea what I was doing. I told her it was my first time- I didn’t tell her about the other woman- and she said I didn’t need to touch her, that she would just touch me at first.”

“Like what you did for me?”

“Pretty much. It was my first orgasm and it was a total revelation.”

“So you had never masterbated before that?”

“Nope. Honestly, it never occurred to me to even try.”

“Huh.”

“Have you masterbated?” She asked.

My cheeks flushed with the question. I suddenly realized just how open and honest Nicole was being with me because I was flustered just by hearing the question.

“Um, yes?” I said, tentatively.

“It’s ok if you don’t want to tell me.”

“No, it’s not that. I’ve just never talked about it before.”

“Is this ok?”

“Yeah, I really like hearing your stories. They’re making me feel better about this whole thing.”

“This whole gay thing?”

“Yeah,” I laughed. “So your first girlfriend told you to masterbate.”

“She was sort of thinking about it like a doctor. I needed to get to know my body better, study how my body reacted to my touch.”

“How very scholarly of her.”

“Yeah, well, it worked.”

“And that’s how you became a major stud muffin?”

I heard Nicole laughing softly.

“So, does this mean I have homework to do?”

“It sounds like you’ve already completed that assignment.”

“Maybe, but not while thinking about you.”

Nicole started to choke.

“Are you ok?” I asked.

“Um, yeah. You do whatever you need, baby.” She continued to cough.

“What I really need is sitting in Oregon.”

“Sorry about that. I’ll try harder next time.”

“You better.”

“Hey, baby, I gotta go, I’m sorry. I’m exhausted. Can we talk tomorrow?”

“Of course. I can’t wait to hear your voice again. And I want to hear all about your first day at the Sheriff’s office.”

“I’m not sure how much there’ll be to tell. The first couple days are orientation.”

“I don’t care, I want to hear all about it.” I grinned.

“Ok, and I want to hear about your day, too.”

“That’s a promise. I miss you.”

“I miss you, too.”

The “I miss you” part of our call lasted a little while longer before we hung up. Our conversation left me feeling full again. I wandered off to Nicole’s bedroom and curled up in her bed. I was surprised by how satisfying it was, being with Nicole, even when she wasn’t there.


	9. The Long AF (Chapter) Summer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s a long summer and Waverly is only at the beginning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Sexual Harassment

Chapter 9  
The Long AF (Chapter) Summer

Monday morning, I woke up in Nicole’s bed. The down comforter was amazingly warm. I rolled around in her bed, feeling the silky sheets against my exposed skin. I knew I needed to return to my own apartment and to my own life, but I was so comfortable getting lost in all the sensations of her bed, her room, her apartment. I didn’t want to leave this lovely cocoon. 

But by ten o’clock, I couldn’t ignore my responsibilities any more. I quickly took a shower, then threw all the towels and clothes into her laundry. I made myself some coffee as I waited for the washer to finish its cycle. I cleared out the leftover Thai food and my pizza, figured out what I wanted to keep and what to pitch. 

After moving her laundry on to the dryer, I stepped back out of her apartment, faced the warm morning, and took her car back to my home. I thought to myself that I’ll need to have Laura drive behind me at some point so I can return Nicole’s car. 

 

As I stepped into my apartment, it felt cold and unused. It’s funny how different it felt to me. Usually, this place was my sanctuary, but now it felt stark and quiet. I turned on several lights, despite the morning sun, boiled some water for tea and put on my music to fill in the space. 

As I waited for my tea to steep, I made a list of all the things I needed to accomplish during the week. I had to find a job that would fit with my class schedule, I needed to get organized for the first day of summer classes next week, I needed to take Nicole’s car back to her apartment and finish the laundry, I needed to hit the grocery, and I really needed to touch base with Laura. I wanted to grab ahold of my courage while I still felt it, and talk to Laura about Nicole.

 

I decided to hit the grocery first because my fridge was almost empty and I really needed a better breakfast than leftover Thai or pizza. I chose to walk to the grocery down the street from my place, even though that would mean carrying my groceries back. I had my large backpack with me and a couple small folding bags just in case. I was such a slug yesterday, barely leaving Nicole’s couch all day that I was looking forward to a nice walk. I turned the corner and the small family grocery came into view. Gracie’s Groceries was a favorite of the college students because it was so close to campus and in the heart of the neighborhood where many of the off-campus student apartment buildings were located. It was housed in a low, 1970’s style building with a large, white sign out front labeling it as Gracie’s. As I walked up to the worn, front automatic door, I noticed a Now Hiring sign in the window. I decided to ask about the jobs available, possibly killing two birds with one stone. 

The Guest Services desk was in the front of the store near the exit on the opposite side from the entry. I walked up to the woman standing behind the counter. She was about my height, dark complexioned with short, neatly coiffed hair. She welcomed me with a grin and asked me how she could help.

“I was wondering about your Now Hiring sign, what positions do you have available?” I inquired.

“Well, we’re always hiring baggers and cashiers, and right now we’re also looking for overnight stockers and a night manager. It’s the late night and overnight positions that are hardest to fill. Are you interested in an application?”

“Actually, yes. That would be great. I know it may be hard to find people to work late at night, but I’ve always appreciated that you stay open twenty four hours a day. I don’t know how many times I’ve realized that I need something at two in the morning and there you are, ready and open.” I flashed her a huge smile.

“That’s sweet. I hear that a lot. Our hiring manager doesn’t come on shift until two this afternoon. If you get that application complete before then, I’ll make sure he sees it today.”

The woman gave me a friendly wink.

“Aw, thank you. Can I fill it out right now?” 

“Sure. Here’s a pen.” She handed me one of several pens from the counter. “Why don’t you take it down there,” she pointed to the end of the counter by the cigarette display. “You can fill it out over there.”

“Will do,” I gave her my patented Waverly smile.

 

After turning in the application, I walked the isles, picking up some vegetables for my dinner that night, and imagined myself as an employee there. The produce section was pretty small, but that wasn’t too surprising given that the store mostly served college students. They always carried a great supply of Chinese greens and other stir fry veggies that you don’t always find at the larger, chain grocery stores. That was another reason I liked to shop there. They made it easy to be vegan. Plenty of greens, plenty of tofu, and of course tons of beans and rice. I could totally see myself working there. I wondered if I would even get a discount on my groceries or could suggest new products to bring in- ooh I could suggest nutritional yeast, or Beyond Meat products, oh my God, flame grilled peppers. I was suddenly really excited to work at Gracie’s. 

 

I made it back to my apartment and put away my food. I looked at my phone and started to wonder why I hadn’t heard from Laura, yet. We usually talked every couple days, and while I hadn’t called her, she hadn’t reached out to me in the last couple days, either. Since she knew I was going to see Nicole on Friday, I was a little surprised that she didn’t check in with me on Saturday to see how it went, like Mack did with Nicole on Sunday. Maybe Mack told Laura what he knew, but a needling question grew in my mind- what if Laura wasn’t ok with my dating Nicole. 

I know, I know, she set me up with her- I thought to myself, but that little bit of self-doubt about telling her was starting to grow larger. I knew I needed to talk to her and as my doubts weren’t going away, I needed to do it sooner, rather than later. I picked up my phone and called Laura, holding my breath.

“Hi Waves, long time, no see.” She greeted me warmly. 

“Hi, Laura, I’m sorry I haven’t called in a couple days, I’ve been a bit tied up.”

“Not by Nicole, I hope. That sounds a little kinky.”

I laughed, feeling a little relief that Laura was at least joking around with me. “Actually, I was hoping we could get some coffee together. I want to catch up, see what your summer is looking like now that you’re getting married.”

Laura squealed a bit. “I know, it’s so exciting. I want to tell you what Mack and I are planning so far.”

“That sounds great.”

“AND, I want to hear how your ‘Not Date’ went with Nicole. God, it seems like we haven’t talked in forever.”

“I know, right. Well, that’s one of the things I wanted to talk to you about.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, the date went really well.”

“Oh, so now it’s a date? Mack told me that Nicole said the same thing.” Laura sang. “So, what happened?” 

“Do you mind if we wait until we meet in person?”

“Waves, what’s up. Why are you being cagey with me? How did it go?”

“It went well, it went really well, actually. I kissed her.”

Laura screamed for joy through the phone and I couldn’t help but laugh.

“I KNEW IT!” She yelled out. “So, how was it? I knew you liked her. I knew it.”

I continued laughing, “It was great.”

Laura gave another short shriek. “Waves, I’m so happy for you. So, yes, let’s meet for coffee, lots to catch up on.”

“Are you free this afternoon, I have to pick up a few books for my summer classes. We could meet a Soma’s.”

“That’s perfect. I have a few things I need to do on campus, too.” Laura switched into an intentionally serious voice, “Like withdraw from the university.” 

“I still can’t believe you’re leaving. I’m going to miss you so much. Who will be my study buddy, now?”

“Maybe Nicole will be.” Laura suggested, cheekily. My gut clenched, as my eyes shot open and my cheeks flushed. 

“Yeah, maybe.”

 

Laura and I agreed to meet at Soma’s around three that afternoon. Soma’s was our favorite coffee shop in town. It was a block from campus. They had really funky, fun decorations around the shop and they played the best music. It was located in the basement of a popular taco shop. There was even a large back room that was a quiet study area until eight o’clock at night when local bands would play in the space. Our favorite space in the shop was the two over-stuffed chairs separated by a fish tank housed in an old, console TV. The walls were painted green with large purple polka dots. There were toys and peacock feathers strung up on the walls and the bar of the coffee shop had several manikin heads with different colored wigs. Plus, they had the best coffee, tea selection and even kickass smoothies. 

I arrived before Laura and ordered my favorite smoothie, the PB&J, with frozen strawberries and bananas mixed with a dollop of peanut butter. Our favorite spot was already occupied, which was fine, because I hoped to have a little more privacy for our conversation. I grabbed a two-top table in the back by the employee entrance and away from most of the other patrons. 

I slowly sipped my smoothie and tried to plan out what I wanted to say to Laura. I kept reminding myself that I already knew Laura was ok with my dating Nicole, but somehow just knowing that I was going to say the words out-loud was still difficult. 

Laura arrived in a whirlwind, she dropped her bags by the side of the table and leaned over to kiss my cheek.

“I’m going to grab a cappuccino, do you want anything?”

I held up my smoothie and and smiled at her. 

“Great, I’ll be right back.” She walked over to the line to place her order. I watched her as she said hi to the woman in front of her. 

Laura truly was like a sister to me and I wasn’t sure what I was going to do without her next year. She was my sounding board as well as my study buddy. She grounded me and kept me honest with myself. Growing up I never had a friend like that. I thought that’s what I found when Champ asked me out and we started dating. However, with Champ, his love felt like it carried a weight of expectation. I was obligated to please him in order to keep up our relationship. And when my affection slowed down because I was busy or had finals, inevitably his interests would stray to whatever woman was nearby and willing. Laura’s love for me was never tied up in anything other than her concern for me. It was unadulterated and I had never experienced that before. Now I was facing the future of her leaving to get married just as I was facing what was probably the biggest crisis of identity that I’d ever known. 

The funny thing was, I was’t that upset.

I felt like Nicole was neatly stepping into that space that Laura held. That was exhilarating, but part of me worried that this was moving too fast. What if Nicole was like Champ, and her love became dependent on something else. Crazier things have happened, right? She said she would never treat me that way, but I’m sure if I had asked Champ the same question in the first days after we met, he would have said the same thing. 

But it didn’t feel that way. Nicole seemed so different from Champ, and so much more than Laura. Maybe that’s why she felt so right.

Laura came back with her cappuccino in hand. She sat down across from me and let out a huge sigh.

“I feel so free right now. Isn’t that strange? I withdrew from my summer classes, and notified the school I wasn’t returning in the fall. And the weight off my shoulders is massive.” She shook out her long brown hair.

“You look less burdened already.” I agreed.

“You have no idea.”

“So what’s the next step?” I asked.

“Mack is heading up to Chicago in a few weeks to get an apartment for us and get ready to start his law school classes. I’m here through the summer because my lease is up in August, and then I join him.” Laura then let out a squeal. “I can’t believe this is actually happening.”

“I know, it seems so fast.”

“And yet it can’t happen fast enough. I’m so ready.”

I laughed to myself, thinking about Nicole and our summer apart.

“So what are you going to do with all of your stuff? Are you moving it all to Chicago, too?”

“Mack is hiring a moving van to take up his furniture and I’ll probably donate most of mine since it isn’t worth much and we won’t have room for two apartments worth of stuff. We’ll probably have to find a tiny apartment to start with anyway. I’m going to send up most of my things with Mack, and just keep the bare essentials here with me.” Laura looked out around the cafe, “Do you ever feel like you’ve been waiting for your life to start? And then suddenly- bam- here it is. Hello, life.”

“I might kinda get that. Yeah.” I smiled down at the table.

“Do you think I’m crazy for doing this?”

I smiled warmly at Laura. It was rare to see a crack in her confidence. I reached out and put my hand on her forearm. “Laura, I think you and Mack are perfect for each other, so no, I don’t think you’re crazy for wanting to marry him.”

“I know, but what about the leaving school part. My mom thinks I’m making a huge mistake. She said I should wait to get married after I graduate and then move up to Chicago. But honestly. I don’t want to wait that long. Mack’s leaving and I feel like my future is leaving with him. I have no idea what I want to do with the rest of my life, but I know I want to marry him, so I’d be crazy to stay. Right?” She looked at me worried.

“Honestly, I don’t think there is a right or wrong answer. If you feel strongly about following him, then I say go for it.” I squeezed her arm and let go.

“Thank you, Waves. I don’t know what I’m going to do without you in Chicago. We’ll need to FaceTime as much as possible. You’ll have to keep me up on all the gossip.” Laura took a sip of her drink. “Speaking of gossip, are you going to tell me what happened on Friday or do I need to drag it out of you?” She winked at me.

I took a deep breath. We were here, at last.

“It went really well.”

“You already said that, I want details.” she chided.

I let out a sigh, “Ok, we talked, I learned a lot about Nicole, she has some really funny stories. She told me about the first time she kissed a woman. And I told her the story about how I threw up after drinking beer for the first time…”

“Wasn’t she going to teach you about beer drinking or something?” Laura looked at me quizzically.

“Oh, yeah. That’s right, she did. She bought a flight of beers for me to try. They were ok. And then we played some pool. She was so cute; she was nervous about playing because she said she wasn’t very good. So I was trying to distract her as she broke.” I laughed to myself. “Then she drove me home and I kissed her.”

Laura was staring at me with dreamy eyes and a stupid grin. 

“What?” I asked.

“You know you’re gushing.” Her grin grew wider. 

“No I’m not. Well, maybe a little.” I blushed.

“Nope, total gush. You realize that you completely glossed over the whole reason for the date in the first place. So are you a beer drinker now?”

“Not really. I found one that wasn’t too bad, but I still don’t think beer is my thing.”

“But clearly Nicole is.” Laura chuckled at me.

I flashed her my best shit-eating grin, and Laura cracked up.

“Ok, I like her. Actually, a lot.”

Laura straightened up hearing this. “Oh really?”

“Would you be weirded out if I said I wanted to date her?”

“Waves, I think that’s great. So does that mean when she gets back, you two are going to start dating for real?”

“Um, we kind of are already.” I stared at my hands.

“Wow, so are you like girlfriends or something?”

“Yeah.”

“Huh, I heard that lesbians move quickly, but wow, that’s really fast. Are you sure? I mean, isn’t she gone for the whole summer?”

“Yes, she left yesterday. I was helping her pack on Saturday.”

“So does this mean you’re full-on lesbian now?”

“I don’t know.” I tried not to look hurt.

“What does that mean?”

“I honestly don’t know. I really like Nicole, but I don’t know if I’m gay.”

“Did you sleep with her?”

My face immediately broke out in a deep red.

“Sort of.”

“Sort of? How do you sort of sleep with someone?”

“Well…” I hesitated.

“Never mind, I don’t want to know.” Laura said, shaking her head. “So you’re dating Nicole. Like girlfriends- dating her.”

I nodded my head.

“Waves, I think that’s great, maybe a little quick, but that’s ok. Mack really likes her, that’s why we wanted you to meet her. I wanted you to get to know some gay woman. I knew you were struggling with your sexuality, and I wanted to help however I could.”

“Thanks,” I said, letting out a heavy breath.

“Are you sure you’re ok with this? I know you were kinda freaking out the other day about kissing her.”

“I think I am. I mean, I know I like Nicole, but now I have to start telling other people about it. It’s one thing to think about it. It’s another to say it out loud.”

Laura nodded and waited for me to continue.

“I’m not really sure what I should call myself. Like, am I gay or bi?”

“What do you think?”

“I don’t know. This is all really new. Since I like Nicole a lot, does that make me gay?”

“I don’t think it has to. You were in love with Champ, right?”

“I think so, but I feel so much stronger about Nicole.”

“Well that makes sense. Champ was an ass-hat, Nicole is at least nice.” 

I laughed and played with my smoothie cup.

“She is way nicer than Champ,” I agreed. “But she’s more than that. She’s really open with me, she’ll tell me anything. I was asking her about her first kiss and her first time with a woman, and she was totally fine telling me those things. She really makes me feel so comfortable.”

“Aw, there it is again, the gush.” Laura smirked.

“Shut up,” I said, trying to hide my smile.

“Are you kidding me, I think it’s great, Waves. I’m glad you found someone who makes you happy. Champ certainly wasn’t doing that by the end.”

I nodded my agreement.

Laura stood up and held out her arms, I smiled broadly and stood up to fall into her embrace.

“I’m happy for you.” She said as she hugged the shit out of me. I needed that hug more than I realized. Laura leaned over and place a big smooch on my cheek, then let me go.

“So I hope I’m still here when Nicole gets back this summer. I need to vet her, now that you’re actually dating.”

“Didn’t you already do that? I mean, you did set us up.”

“Well, Mack knows her better than I do. But I still need to give her ‘the talk.’ She better not hurt the sweetest woman here on campus. I swear, if they took a vote, you’d win for nicest person.” We both laughed at that. 

 

We wrapped up our coffee date, and I convinced Laura to help me drop off Nicole’s car at her apartment. As we walked back to my place, we talked about what Laura should keep down here with her until the end of the summer versus sending up in the moving van with Mack. 

When we got back to my building, I ran up to my apartment to get the two sets of keys and then found Laura in the parking lot. She ended up following behind me in my car as I drove Juno. When we got to Nicole’s apartment, I pulled into Nicole’s reserved space and Laura parked a row over from me. I hopped out of the car and dashed over to the driver’s side window of my car. Laura rolled down the window. 

“Do you mind if we run in really quick?”

“Why?” Laura sounded a little impatient.

“I started a load of laundry and I wanted to move it along.”

“Wait,” Laura gave me a stern look. “You’re doing her laundry? I don’t do Mack’s laundry and we’re about to get married.”

“It’s not like that. She was leaving and we had a couple towels and PJs to wash. I told her I would take care of it, so she wouldn’t have to worry about it just before she left. That’s all”

“Uh huh.” She sounded very skeptical.

“Oh, come on. I’d totally do a load of laundry for you, if you needed it.”

“Yeah, and that makes you too nice.”

“You don’t have to come up if you don’t want. It’ll take me two minutes tops.”

“Fine, I’ll wait here.”

“Ok, I’ll be right back.” I said as I was turning to dash up her stairs.

 

I ran back down the stairs to my car after finishing the laundry. Laura had already moved to the passenger side. I slid into the driver’s side.

“Five minutes.”

“Sorry, I had to clean up the coffee maker, too.”

“Seriously, you’re cleaning her kitchen and doing her laundry. She has you whipped, doesn’t she?”

I looked at Laura with a shake of my head. 

“Ok, whatever, if that’s your thing.”

“It’s not my thing, I made coffee this morning and I wanted to clean it up.”

“You stayed here last night? I thought you said she left yesterday.”

“She did,” I was blushing again. “I was just missing her.”

“Oh my God, girl. I can’t even talk to you. Were you like this when you first started dating Champ? Because I know you had more sense at the end of your relationship.”

“I thought you liked Nicole.”

“I did. Before you became her housewife.”

“Laura, that’s not fair.” I said, more than a little hurt.

“I’m sorry. I do like Nicole. “I’m glad you’re excited about the relationship. Now can we go home, I have things to do.”

“Sure.” I replied, a bit unsure of where we stood.

 

The rest of the week became a blur of hiding out in Nicole’s apartment and trying to get ready for summer classes to start. I was constantly looking for excuses to go back to Nicole’s and be surrounded by her things. I, also, heard back from Gracie’s about the cashier position. It turned out that the late night shift was perfect for me. I could go to classes during the day and then start at Gracie’s in the evening and work until after midnight. 

 

My new schedule was demanding, but worked. The one thing it didn’t leave a whole lot of time for was talking to Nicole. We talked and texted, but between the three hour time difference and my typical 5pm-2am shift at Gracie’s most evenings, it was hard to find a solid stretch of time to really connect every day. Usually, I’d call when I got home from the grocery for a few minutes as I got ready for bed, then longer on the weekends when I was off. I worked Monday through Friday so that I had the weekends entirely to myself to catch up on sleep and do as much homework for the following week as I could. It was super hectic, but it felt good to be busy.

After the first couple weeks, Nicole and I found our new rhythm. I’d get home from the grocery and fall into bed with my cell phone waiting to hear her voice. 

“Hi sweetie pie.” I opened.

“Hey cutie, how was your day?” Nicole’s voice sank in like a hug.

“Ok, work was fine. We have a new night manager. He seems nice. We had a handful of drunk frat boys come in at 1am, and they tried to get a ton of beer. He helped me out with them.”

“Were they getting rowdy?” Nicole asked, with concern in her voice.

“No, but I’m not allowed to sell alcohol to anyone who is visibly intoxicated. If one person in the group is drunk, I have to refuse it to the whole group.”

“Sure”

“Well, at least three of the guys were barely able to walk up my lane without bumping into the candy display. So I shot them all down and I told them why. The guy who was the designated driver for the night started to argue with me. He said that all he had to do was walk out, walk back in alone, buy the beer and it would be fine- so why was I giving him a hard time.”

“Uh huh.” I could almost hear the police officer in her aching to step in.

“So, I told him that I wouldn’t be selling any alcohol to him, even if he came back in by himself because I knew he was in a car with a bunch of drunk, overindulged pricks.”

“Did you really say that?”

“No. But I thought it... No, I told him I still couldn’t sell to him and that’s when Tony came over. He told them that they all had to leave and weren’t allowed to return that night.”

“Well, I’m glad you weren’t on your own. How often does that happen?”

“Not very, this was the second time. The first time it was an old, drunk dude and he didn’t fight me at all. He just left his beer on the belt and walked out. I think he expected it.”

“As long as you’re safe. Does the manager walk out with you when you leave at two in the morning?”

“No, but I’m usually parked close to the door.”

“Can you at least have him watch from the door, make sure you get to your car ok? I’d feel better if you weren’t walking around by yourself late at night.”

“Ok, Officer. I think I can handle myself.”

“I know, but it would make me feel better.”

“Fine, I’ll ask. So, I had a weird dream last night.” I tried changing the subject.

“Was it a sexy dream?”

“Baby, if I had a sexy dream about you, I would never wake up.”

I heard Nicole chuckle through the phone. 

“No, in this one I forgot all the produce codes.”

“Huh?”

“The four digit codes for all the produce. I’m starting to memorize them so I don’t need to look them all up. It makes things go a lot faster when checking people out.”

“I want to be the only person you check out.”

“Baby, I’m serious. I dreamt that I forgot all the codes. It was the weirdest scary dream ever.”

“You had a nightmare about your summer job? Maybe it’s time to find a new summer job.”

“Actually, I don’t mind the job and it works so well with my schedule. Plus, I’m making mad bank by working the late night shift. It’s like a dollar more per hour for the whole shift. I’m hoping that I’ll make enough this summer that I can get through the school year without working at all. That way I can load up on classes and maybe graduate early.”

“Baby, I don’t want you killing yourself to try and graduate with me.”

“Who said I’m doing this to graduate with you?”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I just thought…”

“I’m kidding. Of course I want to graduate with you. Is that weird?”

“No, it’s not weird. I’d love it if we graduate together. I just don’t want you to kill yourself to do it. Ok? We’ll figure it out when we get there. So tell me more about your scary dream.”

“I couldn’t remember the codes and I was stuck on the line and everything was taking forever, and the customers were getting mad… Did you know that I have regulars already?”

“Regulars?”

“Yeah, customers who come through my line when they shop.”

“Who are they?”

“There’s a few guys. They all think I’m the nicest cashier at Gracie’s.”

“You have a few guys who shop from you all the time? Can I reiterate that you should have the manager walk you to your car?”

“Nicole, it’s not like that. They’re nice, friendly.”

“I bet they are.” I heard her mutter.

“They’re fine. It’s not like they’re asking me out on dates. It’s just friendly chit chat.”

“Sounds like stalking to me.”

“Baby, are you jealous of my regulars?”

“No! It just sounds a little creepy, having guys constantly coming through your line to talk to you.”

“It’s not creepy, it’s just friendly.”

“How often are they visiting you?”

“They’re not visiting me, they’re buying groceries and they think I’m nice, so they choose to wait in my line. That’s all.”

“Ok, but promise me that you’ll be careful.”

“Of course. So how was your day?”

“Uneventful. I made coffee, I filed paperwork, I picked up the lunches, I organized the file drawer. I know I only have an internship, but this is the most boring work ever and I’m not learning a thing that will make me a better police officer one day.”

“I’m sorry, sweetie. Well, at least with the filing, that’s something you’ll have to do one day.”

“I guess. It just feels like busy work. I thought I’d be out in the field more, doing real police work.”

“Catching bad guys, being a hero? I shouldn’t have said those things to you before you left.”

“No, it’s not that. I know I’m not an actual officer yet, but I hoped to do some more interesting things.”

“Well, I like to hear about what you do.”

“You just like to hear me talk about anything.” Nicole grumbled.

“Is that such a bad thing? Hearing my baby’s voice on the phone each night is what I look forward to all day.”

I heard her laugh, “Thanks, Waves. I should probably let you go; it’s late there.”

“I miss you.”

“I miss you, too. Sending you hugs.”

“I got em. Sending them back with a kiss.”

“Got it.”

This had become our new routine ending. We had to negotiate it down to that because during the first few phone conversations after she left, our goodbyes were lasting almost as long as the conversation itself. Once I started working the night shifts, I couldn’t keep the goodbyes up that long.

 

Our weekend conversations would stretch out much longer, as we had more time to talk. Also on weekends, I liked to stay at her apartment, watch some of her movies and just surround myself with everything Nicole. Every time I stepped into her apartment, I felt like I was stepping into a Nicole hug because I was surrounded with the sights and smells of her. 

 

I was heading into my fourth weekend of the summer, one month down without Nicole and I was finding a workable routine. It was a Friday night and I was on an unusual 3pm-12am shift. Instead of heading back to my place, I drove straight over to Nicole’s to wrap myself up in her world and disappear for the evening. 

I had just snuggled under the blanket she left on her couch when my phone rang. I looked down and saw it was Laura.

“Hi Laura!” I answered brightly.

“Hi Waves, what are you up to?”

I quickly thought up a white lie because I didn’t want to tell her that I was spending the night in Nicole’s apartment.

“Oh nothing, just stretched out on my couch reading.”

“It must be pretty engrossing.”

“Huh?” I asked.

“Because I’ve been knocking on your door for like five minutes and you haven’t answered. I was getting worried.”

“You’re at my apartment,” I said alarmed, my lie quickly disintegrating.

“Yes, you texted me that you were getting off work early and I thought I’d drag you out with me tonight.”

“Oh shoot.”

“Where are you?” She asked.

“Nowhere.”

“You’re back at her apartment, aren’t you.”

“Maybe,” I winced.

“Ok, Girl! This is a full blown intervention. You are not allowed to wallow in your misery at Nicole’s apartment. If your ass is not back here in twenty minutes, I’m calling Nicole myself and making up whatever ridiculous lie I need to so that she’ll demand her key back from you.”

“Fine,” I laughed, shaking my head. “I’m coming. Just hold your horses. No need to call in the Calvary.”

“I’m serious, you need to step away from all things Nicole and get a little perspective. We’re going out tonight. You’re taking me dancing and you can’t say no.”

“I’ll be there, but I’ll have you know, I’m giving up an evening with the Goonies that I’ve been looking forward to all week.”

“You’re pathetic. Now get your ass over here. I’m waiting.”

I hung up and pulled myself back together to drive home. I felt a little bad that I was caught in my lie, but I knew Laura well enough to know that she wouldn’t hold a grudge. At least, I didn’t think so.

I pulled into the parking lot of my building and saw Laura sitting in her car waiting for me. She actually did look a little pissed. I saw her get out of her car and I figured a strong offense was my best defense.

“I’m really sorry I lied about being at my apartment.”

Laura gave me a stern look, “When I set you up with Nicole, I didn’t mean for you to lose your head over her.”

“I’m not losing my head.” I tried.

Laura had her hands folded across her chest. “It’s been three weeks since we’ve done anything fun together. You used to call me all the time and now I hardly ever hear from you. Nicole is half way across the country and I’m right here. It feels like you forgot about me entirely.” 

I could see the genuine hurt in her eyes and my stomach fell. I’d been so wrapped up in Nicole, I had forgotten about Laura. Not entirely, but we weren’t hanging out as much as we used to.

“I miss my friend,” she held her hand out to me.

“I miss you, too. I’m so sorry. I guess I have stuck my head up my ass lately.”

“Look, I get that you miss her, but you’re missing out on your life while you pine away. Plus, I’m on my own now, too, and I need my friend.”

“You’re on your own? I thought Mack wasn’t leaving until later?”

“Honey, it is later! It’s been a month. He left today for Chicago to look for an apartment.”

“Oh crap, I guess I have lost track of time.”

“Yeah, you have, and you need to stop spending all your time at Nicole’s. It’s not healthy. I’m only here for the summer and she’ll be back when I’m gone. So can we spend this time together, you and me?”

“Of course, I’m sorry. I’ve been an ass.” I pulled her into a tight hug. She relented and hugged me back. “So what did you have in mind for tonight?”

“Well first, you’re going to shower. You smell like raw hamburger.”

“Ew, I do not!” I pushed her away.

“I’m sorry, the nose doesn’t lie. Have you been ringing up a lot of meat lately?” 

“Shut up.” I hooked my arm around hers and walked her up to my apartment.

 

While I cleaned up, Laura picked out my clothes for the night. She chose the same black sundress and sandals that I wore to my “not date” with Nicole. I gave her a warning look. 

“I’m with someone, in case you forgot.” 

“So. No reason you can’t look nice.”

“You’re the one who set me up with her.”

“I’m not saying you need to sleep with someone, I just want you to look good.”

“Fine, but you’re my reverse wingman tonight.”

“Reverse wingman?”

“Yeah, you get to drive all the men away.”

“What do you mean, men?”

“What do YOU mean, men?” I quipped.

“Girl, we’re going out dancing tonight, and everyone knows that the best dance clubs are the gay ones. So I’ll be defending your honor against the women, not the men.”

I felt my cheeks light up. Laura was impossible. “Fine. But I need to call Nicole first.”

“Really?! You need to ask for her permission to go dancing?”

“NO! But I told her I’d call soon. So I just want to say hi.”

“Fine, check in with your woman as you get dressed, but no lovey-dovey stuff because I’m staying right here.” She patted my bed. I shook my head at her and flashed a daring grin.

 

“Hey cutie,” Laura and I heard Nicole answer.

“Hi sweetie, you’re on speaker phone and Laura is here with me.”

“Hi, cutie pie.” Laura added.

“Hi Laura,” Nicole groaned. “So why the tag team tonight?”

I jumped in before Laura had a chance. “Laura is dragging me out with her tonight. She wants to go dancing.”

“I’ve been missing my girl. Somehow, even from Oregon, you still manage to take up all her time.”

“That is SO not true!” I yelled out as I started to pull on my dress.

“She and I are hitting the town. Mack left today for Chicago and I need some Waverly time.”

“I know how you feel.” Nicole laughed from her end. “And I personally apologize if I’ve been dominating her time.”

“Kiss ass,” I chimed in. “Way to make me look bad. I lied to her so I could talk to you in private and she caught me.”

“Did you know that Waverly spends all of her time rolling around naked in your bed moaning out your name.” Laura said, winking at me.

“Shut UP! I do not!” 

“Yeah, I had to drag her naked ass home, wash her up, and get her dressed. She’s pathetic. Please tell her that she’s allowed to go dancing with me tonight.” Laura continued.

“Laura, for the record, Waverly doesn’t belong to anyone, she doesn’t need my permission to go out dancing. I hope you two have a great time tonight. Oh and Waves, I wouldn’t say no to a video of that whole bed thing.”

“Ass.” I couldn’t say what I was really thinking in front of Laura. “I miss you.”

“I miss you, too, babe. Have fun and we’ll talk tomorrow?”

“You got it.” And we disconnected.

 

Laura and I decided to Uber over to Bullwinkles. It wasn’t a huge bar, but they had a lighted dance floor that was a lot of fun and the best house music in the small city. We got there at a little after one in the morning which meant that the dance floor was already packed and the bar full. It was exactly what we needed. A little anonymity on the dance floor to let our spirits free.

Laura made her way to the bar to order our first round of drinks while I pushed through the crowds to find an open table. In the back, by the two pool tables, there was a small two person table free. Perfect. I slipped past a table of older looking, butch lesbians and claimed the two top. 

I looked around the club. Most of the patrons were up on the dance floor or over by the bar, but there were a smattering of people still sitting around the tables watching. 

Laura and I had been here once before to go dancing with a group of friends, but this was my first time there since coming out to myself. Even though I knew she wouldn’t be there, I secretly hoped to find Nicole lingering in the corner, waiting for me to show up. 

I glanced over at the Butch table and one of the women made eye contact with me and winked. She looked like she was at least twenty years older than me and life rode her hard, as the saying goes. I was careful to avoid looking in her direction again. There was another group of older women behind me playing pool, but they appeared to be in their thirties and focused on the game in front of them. Most of the people on the dance floor looked like college students about my age. 

There was one cute woman, maybe twenty-something years old. She was Latina and had short, spiked, dark brown hair. Her boyish grin and warm eyes were what drew my attention first. I wondered if she was what Nicole meant by baby-dyke. I watched her dance by herself until Laura made it over to the table. 

“So, something looking good over there?” She asked.

“Laura, I’m with Nicole.”

“So what, you can’t even look now?”

“Yes, sort of.”

“Sort of?”

“Yes, I told her I’d wait for her to get back.”

“Fine, so not even worrying about that” she held up her hand. “Who are you looking at over there.” She nodded toward the dance floor.

I gestured at the baby-dyke. “She’s kinda cute.”

“Ok, so you have a type.”

“What! How can you extrapolate that from two people?” I asked.

“Tell me she doesn’t remind you of Nicole.”

“Not at all. They look nothing alike.”

“Really? Picture them both in a police uniform and tell me they don’t look alike.”

Then I saw it, they were both tall, stoic, and confident. Shit, I guess I do have a type. I faced Laura and shook my head.

Laura leaned over to me and cupped her hand around my ear so that nobody else could hear her whisper over the music.

“Don’t look, but Wonder Love is staring at you.”

“No she isn’t.” I whispered back, secretly wanting to look.

“Yes she is.” 

“Stop it. What are you doing?”

“Trying to show you that there are more fish in the sea.”

I sat back in the wire-backed cafe chair. “You set me up with Nicole; you told me she was great; and now that I agree with you, you’re trying to get me out with someone else? I don’t get you, Laura. What’s really up?”

“Ok Waves, you and I have been friends for a couple years now. I saw you with Champ and you were never this way with him. You never disappeared into that relationship. I’m worried about you. It’s like nothing else matters to you anymore. And I can’t tell if that’s Nicole’s fault or yours.”

“Laura, It’s not Nicole’s fault. Maybe I never got so engrossed in Champ because I didn’t feel the same way about him. It’s like when I met Nicole, things started to become clear. And that terrified me at first, but now it just feels right.”

“Ok, can I make an observation. You’ve really only known Nicole for like a few weeks, and you only got together two days before she left. This just seems awfully fast. It’s like you’re saying she’s the one, but how well do you really know her.”

Laura paused and looked around the bar. I started to say something, but she cut me off.

“I like Nicole, I really do. I wouldn’t have set you up with her if I didn’t. This just seems too fast. I’m really worried about you. I’m not going to be here next year, and I know you can take care of yourself, but if she breaks your heart when she gets home, I’m not going to be here to help pick up the pieces. So, for my sake, and your sanity’s sake, can you maybe slow things down a little.” Laura’s eyes were pleading with me. “It’s not like you have to marry the girl. Just take your time, take a deep breath every now and then. She likes you, you like her. Great. That’s fine. But don’t forgot who you are, too. You have you’re own journey to make, and I don’t want you to lose sight of Waverly.”

Laura’s words really wrecked me. I knew I was kind of disappearing into Nicole, and maybe, perhaps, that wasn’t the healthiest thing in the world. But I had never felt like this before. All of my emotions seemed to be tied up in this amazing, beautiful woman. I thought, how can this be bad. Then I saw the look in Laura’s eyes and it was telling me something different. Was this just obsession? Infatuation? Something that will burn off as quickly as it ignited? Laura had my best interests at heart, and I knew she wanted the world for me, so I wanted to acknowledge her concerns. But she didn’t know how calm I felt with Nicole. How complete. I felt sexy and powerful. I felt soft and vulnerable. My body felt new and my heart felt like it could fly. None of these feelings seemed bad or wrong or too much. 

“What about you and Mack?” I asked, turning the tables. “You told me that you knew he was the right one for you. You’re leaving college to follow him to Chicago, how do you know he’s right?”

“First of all, you know full well that Mack and I are high school sweethearts. We’ve been dating for three years. And second, I’m not leaving school entirely. I’ve decided to apply to the University of Illinois Chicago, I still plan on finishing my degree. I’m not stupid. I’m not going to run away and not get my degree.”

“Still, did you know he was the one when you met him?”

“I met him when I was a sophomore in high school and he was the star of our high school football team, and for the record, I thought he was conceited back then. He kept pestering me to go out with him even after he left to come here. He’d come home to visit and we’d be at the same parties and he’d always come over to bug me.” Laura laughed to herself. “I thought he was such an idiot. Why was he wasting time on a high school girl like me when he was at a huge university? He told me he fell in love with me when he first met me- love at first sight. Like you and Nicole.”

“So you didn’t feel the same way?”

“No, I thought he was cute, but I didn’t fall for him until much later.”

“And now?”

“And now, I can’t imagine my life without him.” She smiled at me.

“Some days, often, it feels like that for me, too.” I hesitated. “You’re right, I don’t know her very well, but I feel this connection to her. I can’t describe it, but it just feels right.”

“Just so long as you don’t forget yourself, what YOU need, who YOU want to be.”

“I promise.” I held up my pinky for Laura. She grasped it with hers.

“Ok, now take me dancing.”

We were just turning to slide off our chairs when the super butch woman from the next table walked up to us. She smiled broadly at both of us, then propped her foot up on the corner of my chair, leaned over so that her elbow rested on her thigh and winked at me again.

“I saw you lookin at me.” She drawled out in a heavy southern accent.

I was frozen in place, petrified out of my skin. Who the hell was she, putting her foot up on my chair, talking to me like that?

“I SAID, I saw you lookin at me.” She stared me down. I was too afraid to even turn my head to look at Laura, for fear of what this woman might do next.

“I swear I wasn’t.” I squeaked out.

She didn’t say a word, just kept on watching me.

“I promise I won’t do it again.” I tried next.

Then from behind her, the baby-faced Latina stepped up, tapped the older woman’s shoulder, and pulled her back from my chair.

“I think you’re making her uncomfortable. Why don’t you go sit back down.”

The older woman glared at her younger competitor and spat at her feet, before slowly walking back to her table. 

I looked over at Laura, both of us had eyes the size of dinner plates, and then we burst out laughing. We laughed so hard, we both started to cry. Our rescuer laughed too, then turned to walk back on the dance floor. Laura jumped up to grab her arm, pulling me along with her. 

“Excuse me, I didn’t get a chance to thank you…” Laura said, still giggling.

“Mia.”

“Mia, thank you.” Laura turned to me, “Waverly, this is Mia.” Then dramatically turning back to Mia, “Mia, this is the sweetest cashier at Gracie’s Grocery, Waverly.” She looked back at me, “So that was the scariest, funniest thing I’ve ever witnessed.” She looked back at Mia. “Have you ever seen anything like that?”

“No, that was pretty weird,” Mia answered. “I saw the look on your face and thought I’d say something. I hope I didn’t over step. You both looked really freaked out.”

“No, you did the right thing. Thank you again.” Laura squeezed her bicep. “Oh, you’re strong. Waves, come feel her arm.”

I stepped up to Laura and grabbed HER arm and pushed her a couple feet back away from Mia.

“Laura,” I hissed. “What the hell are you doing! Quit hitting on her.”

“I’m not hitting on her, you said she was cute and I’m playing wingman.”

“I said reverse wingman, drive them away, not reel them in.”

“Oh, come on. You never had a problem flirting when it was men. Even when you were dating Champ.”

“Yeah well, Champ was cheating on me at the time, and I told you, I’m not interested.”

“But you think she’s cute.”

“I think you’re cute, but I’m not going to hit on you.”

“Oh my God, wouldn’t that be funny. Mack would die. Too bad you’re like my sister.”

I turned around to throw a smile back at Mia, but she had already wandered off back into the middle of the dance floor. Thank God. 

I pointed a finger at Laura, “Stop it, I’m serious. I like Nicole. We’re here to have fun, you and me, nobody else. Ok?”

Laura gave me a pouty face. “Ok.” It felt like she was already drunk when we both barely started our first drinks.

“How much have you had to drink tonight?” I asked.

“Only a couple shots.”

“Wait! A couple shots, when?”

“At my place, before I came looking for you, and another at the bar.”

“Hold up, you drove over to my place after drinking? Laura…” I started, exasperated. I couldn’t think what to say next. However, her behavior this evening was starting to make more sense. 

“I’m going to kick your ass when you sober up. I can’t believe you did that! You’re supposed to be the smart one.”

“No, you’re the smart one, I’m the cute one.” She pointed right back at me. I shook my head at her. 

“Come on, why don’t we Uber back to my place. You’re spending the night with me. And don’t think I’m not mad at you, because I am.” Laura wrapped her arms around me and gave me a kiss on the cheek. 

“You’re too good to me.”

I shook my head at her, pulling out my phone to order a car, and then lead her off the dance floor.

 

When we got back to my apartment, Laura was starting to slur her words. I guessed that she must have had a few more than a couple drinks. I got her dressed in some of my PJs, had her drink some water with a couple Tylenol, and got her in bed. I put her on the outside with the garbage can by her head, just in case. I couldn’t wait to tell Nicole about this night. And to think I gave up Goonies for this.

 

In the morning, I slipped out of bed around Laura, who was still doing a fine imitation of a lump. I made some coffee, looked over the assignments for the next week and thought about how I wanted to tackle them all. I was starting a grocery list when Laura crawled out of my bedroom.

“I have coffee made. I’m not even going to ask how you’re doing.”

Laura groaned.

“There’s more Tylenol in the bathroom cupboard, help yourself.” She nodded and wandered off in the direction of the bathroom.

When she got back out, she flopped on the dining room chair opposite me.

“Are you ready for all my shit I’m about to rain down? Or do you need a little while.” I didn’t want her to think that the discussion from last night was over.

“I need coffee first.”

I made up some coffee for her and dragged her over to my living room couch. She snuggled up in my lap and I laid a blanket over both of us.

“You know I love you,” I started. Laura nodded her head slowly. I ran my hands through her hair, massaging her scalp. 

“You have to promise me that you’ll never drink and drive again.” I hugged her into me. “I don’t know what I’d do if you ever got hurt. Or arrested. Or hurt someone else. That’s not you. You were reaming me out about losing myself in Nicole, but this is just as bad.”

Laura nodded her head.

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking. I was missing Mack; I was missing you. I thought you’d call me, but then you didn’t. I felt lost and angry and I wanted to see you.”

I held her close to me. 

“I’m sorry I’ve been so distant. Why don’t we plan to spend some time together every weekend until you leave. We’ll distract ourselves from our sorrows. How does that sound?” I asked.

“That sounds great, and you know what else sounds great? Breakfast. I need greasy eggs and buttered toast.”

“I could use a tofu wrap, let’s get dressed and walk over to the Runcible Spoon.”

“Thanks, Waves.”

I leaned over and kissed the top of her head before she stood up. “Sure thing. Plus, I can’t wait to tell Nicole how you tried to set me up with another woman.”

Laura groaned out loud. “Oh geez, she’s going to kill me, then she’ll tell Mack and he’ll kill me.” She looked up at me, pleadingly. “Do you have to tell her?”

“I don’t think she’ll be mad, she’ll probably think it was funny after she hears how drunk you were.”

Laura groaned again.

 

That night, I called Nicole from her apartment (I know) as I set up my dinner of Tony’s vegan pizza on her living room table and got ready to watch The Goonies.

“Hey cutie,” she answered.

“Guess where I am.”

“Are you back in my bed, naked?”

“How’d you guess?” I laughed.

“After Laura said that, I’ve had a hard time getting the image out of my head.”

“Oh have you, really.”

“Yes really.” 

“Well, maybe I’ll let you listen, your imagination can do the rest.”

“Baby, my imagination has been going all day, that’s the problem.”

“What do you expect me to do about it?”

“Well..”

“I’m not sending you a nude selfie.”

“Oh come on.” She whined.

“Nicole, I hear all the stories of young women getting in trouble because of a naked picture they sent to a former boyfriend. And when I’m a Senator and you have an affair with a blonde bimbo, I can dump your ass knowing you can’t ruin my career with a dumb photo posted to a revenge website.”

“Whoa, talk about imagination. And why am I the cheater, not the Senator?” She paused. “I’m kidding. I’d never pressure you to do that.” She paused again, and then restarted in a higher pitch. “But! If you happened to send me one… I wouldn’t complain.”

“Down tiger.” I laughed at her.

“So tell me about your night out with Laura.”

I rolled my eyes and started to laugh. 

“You’ll never believe this, Laura tried to set me up with another woman.”

“What?”

“Yeah, but in her defense, she was really drunk and not fully aware of what she was doing. In fact, she kinda hit on the woman herself a little.”

“Ok, I need details.”

So, I started to tell her the story.

“And then Large Marge walks up to our table…”

“Wait, Large Marge?” Asked Nicole.

“Yeah, that’s what Laura and I decided to call the really butch woman.”

“Baby, that’s not very nice.”

“I know, but you haven’t heard what she did.” I tried to explain.

“What did she do?”

“She walked over to us and put her FOOT on my chair, right next to my thigh. Then leaned down really close and said ‘I saw you lookin at me.’” I tried to imitate the southern accent.

Nicole laughed through the phone. “She didn’t.”

“She did!”

“What did you say?”

“Nothing, I was too scared. She had me trapped.”

“So then what happened?” 

“She said it again, and I apologized.”

“Wait, YOU apologized to HER?”

“I apologized for looking at her and promised to never do it again.”

Nicole let out a side-splitting laugh and I joined her.

“Fucking Marge.” Nicole muttered after she recovered. “So, Laura hit on Marge?”

“NO! She hit on our rescuer.”

“Your rescuer?”

“Yeah, this other woman came over and asked Marge to leave us alone. Then Laura kinda flirted with her a bit.”

“What did she do?”

“She grabbed her bicep and felt up her arm. Then she tried to get me to do it, too.”

“So did you?”

“No. That’s when I realized she was drunk, and we left.”

“So who did she try to set you up with?”

“Our rescuer, Mia.”

“Mia” she said under her breath.

“I said she was kinda cute and so Laura was trying to be my wingman…”

“Wait, you think Mia was cute.”

“I mean, sure, but I wasn’t interested. You’re the only Haughtie I want.”

“What did she look like?” 

I paused, trying to figure out why she still cared. Then it hit me, she was jealous.

“Well, she had gorgeous brown eyes; a wide, intoxicating smile; she was really tall; had long legs that I couldn’t wait to get my hands on; and red hair I wanted to tangle up in my fingers.”

“Ha ha, very funny.”

“Oh wait, that was the dream I had last night.”

Nicole hummed. “Can you tell me more about that?”

“Nope, that’s for me to know and you to find out… at some future point.” I heard her chuckle.  
“Nicole,” I started. “You know you’re the only one for me. You are the only one I’m interested in.”

“Yeah?”

“Of course. I promised I’ll wait for you. And that’s what I’m doing, wrapped up in your blanket, sitting on your couch, watching your movies, listening to your voice, smelling the scent of you in the air, imagining your body next to me… I’m waiting for you.”

“Baby, I love you.”

My breath caught in my throat.

“Too soon?” She asked.

“No,” I choked out. “Just right.”

 

The next week went by in a blur. Work was work, classes were classes.   
Friday night, Tony, the night manager, came on shift at midnight. There was one other cashier working at the time, Dan, another college guy, a little weird but quiet. He often worked the late night shift as well. Tony was lingering around Dan’s line, talking to him when he first arrived. 

The nights were pretty quiet, but Fridays were the busiest of the bunch, with people trying to supply their house parties, or get ready for a last minute date-night. Because Dan and Tony were talking, most of the customers were coming through my line. That’s fine, more customers meant the time passed faster. When I had a break in the line, Tony called over to me.

“Hey, Waverly, why don’t you have a boyfriend that comes by to keep you company when you work late at night?”

“What?”

“How come your boyfriend never visits you while you’re working.”

“First of all, I don’t have a boyfriend, and second, why do you care? How is a boyfriend visiting me going to make me a better cashier?”

“It’s not that, most girls who work the late night shift have their boyfriends come in to visit. You never have anyone come in.”

“I still don’t see how that’s your business.”

Then Dan chimed in. “So you don’t have a boyfriend? Why not?”

What the fuck?

Just then another customer walked past my line. I waved at him to show I was open and really wanted a distraction from the conversation that was taking place.

After the man walked out the grocery’s door, Tony jumped right back in.

“So, you don’t have a boyfriend. Interesting. What are you looking for?”

Not you, I thought.

“I bet you’re into big, beefy guys.” Tony continued, snickering. I just shook my head, grabbed my cleaner and walked around to wipe down my belt.

“So what do you think of Dan?” Tony had his hand on Dan’s shoulder. Dan looked a little sheepish, but didn’t say anything.

“I’m not answering that question.”

Tony laughed again, “You see, there’s hope for you, Dan.”

I looked up, glaring at the bubble gum display in front of me. What the fuck, where did this come from? Tony had seemed nice enough during his first couple weeks, but now I started to second guess myself. Maybe he was too nice, a little too focused on me during my shift. Two o’clock couldn’t come soon enough. 

 

When I got home from work that night, I couldn’t wait to vent to Nicole.

“Hey, baby, can I tell you something?”

“Sure, what’s up?”

“So Tony, you know, the night manager, started acting all weird, asking me about who I was dating.”

“What?”

“Yeah, he asked why I didn’t have a boyfriend who visited me during my shift.”

“Why does he care?”

“Exactly!” I yelled out. “It’s none of his business. It was weird. That sounds kinda weird to you, doesn’t it?”

“Absolutely. Did he do anything else?”

“No, he just asked about my boyfriend. If Mack was still here, I could ask him to come by and pretend to be my boyfriend, and shut him up.”

“Was he hitting on you?”

“Not really, It’s was almost like he was trying to set me up with Dan, the other cashier.”

“Huh, that’s really weird. Are you going to report him?”

“Report him, like to the police?”

“No, but to a manager at Gracie’s.”

“He is the manager.”

“I mean the head manager, whoever is above him.”

“I don’t know.”

“You should report it.”

“It was just that one time, what if I misunderstood him.”

“Do you think you misunderstood him?”

“No, it was weird, but I don’t know if it’s worth the trouble of reporting it. What would I say, Tony asked if I had a boyfriend. I mean, we talk, it’s late at night and we don’t have a lot of customers then, so we do talk.”

“But has he asked about boyfriends before?”

“Not really. Usually he just makes fun of people coming through the lines or complains about something.”

“What about Dan?”

“Dan? He’s really quiet. He usually talks to Tony more, or actually, Tony talks to him and he listens.”

“You should really report it.”

“I don’t know, maybe if it happens again. It’s late, I don’t want to think about that right now. How was your day?”

“Baby, I don’t like that you are there by yourself, essentially, and now your manager is acting weird.”

“Nicole, can we just drop it for now? I’m home, I’m fine, it’s done. I won’t see him again until Monday.”

“Fine.”

“Fine.” There was a huge pregnant pause. So I tried to restart the conversation. “Tell me about your day, instead. I want to hear your voice.”

“Ok, well, I’ve taken your advice. I started reading through the case files before I file them away. My mentor caught me doing it and told me I could read through the cold case files if I wanted. So I started that today. I finished filing early and had about an hour to look through the cold case files.”

“What are they about? Murders?”

“Not really, more robberies, vandals, B and Es. I can’t believe some of the notes on the files, they’re so hard to read that it’s almost no wonder that they’re cold. It’s hard to make any sense of them. Police officers really need to learn how to write.”

“Like penmanship?”

“No, like grammar and punctuation. They’re mostly typed up, but so hard to read.”

“Well, that’s another way that you’ll shine as an officer. You got one leg up on the rest of them.”

“I think you may be right.”

“What else happened today? How are things going with your mom?”

“My mom and I are doing surprisingly well. No big blow-ups yet. I’ve been really busy and so has she. She has a big case she’s working on here. That’s been occupying most of her time, even on the weekends.”

“So you don’t need a breast pic yet?”

“I thought you weren’t offering them?”

“I’m not, to you. I’m talking about for your mom.”

Nicole laughed. “I think that might kill her off. She can be so uptight. I think the shock of seeing your breast would do her in.”

“Well, that’s not the effect I’m going for, so I’ll hold off for now. I’m glad it’s going well.”

“Yeah, we had dinner last night and we talked about Dad some. We agreed to visit his grave together tomorrow. We haven’t been there together in forever. It feels like we have a peace accord in place. If nobody says anything inflammatory, we can exist peacefully enough.”

“Have you told her about me?”

“No,” Nicole laughed out loud. “I just said that neither of us can say anything inflammatory. That would set her off so fast.”

“I’m sorry, sweetie. That must be tough. So, who does she think you’re talking to every night?”

“I don’t think she knows we’re talking every night. She’s in her room and I’m in mine. It’s like we’re in two different worlds.”

“Do you have any other plans for the weekend?”

“I’ll go down to the beach, probably go for a long run and just hang out, watch the surfers.”

“Ooh, are there a lot of surfers in Oregon?”

“Not a lot, not like Southern California, but we have some. The water is always really cold, like in the low 50’s, so you have to wear a full wetsuit to even think about surfing. But the guys who surf here are really fun and laid back. I like hanging out with them.”

“Do you know any of them from high school?”

“Surprisingly, no. They’re mostly transplants from Idaho looking for ocean, or Northern California looking for a cheaper cost of living. Most of the people I know from high school left the area. The ones that stayed don’t surf. I’ll sometimes run into someone in town, but we really don’t have much to say to each other.”

“So you’re transforming from a crime fighter by day to a lonely beachcomber by night. Isn’t it supposed to be the opposite?”

I heard her chuckle again. “Maybe. The surfers are cool. I wish you could meet them. They’re really nice. Actually, a surprisingly large number of them are vegan, too. So you’d really like them.”

“I wish I could meet them, too.”

“Yeah.” Sighed Nicole.

“Hey, I’m sorry but I need to sigh off. I’m starting to crash.”

“Ok. I love you.”

“I love you, too.” I returned. “Talk tomorrow?”

“Same bat time, same bat channel.”

I laughed at Nicole, “Bye baby.”

“Bye, sweetheart.”

 

My first day back after the weekend was hell. It seemed like nothing went right, and Tony at work was worse than before. I dragged myself up to my apartment. I didn’t have much to eat that day and I had no energy to cook anything. My head was killing me and I just wanted to hear Nicole’s voice and make it all go away.

I was in my kitchen staring blankly into my cupboard for something to put in my stomach that wouldn’t make me wretch. Nothing looked good, and I was thinking about taking a hot shower instead when my phone rang. It was Nicole. I could almost cry, I needed to hear her voice so bad.

“Hey baby, I’ve got some great news. How are you?” She asked, it sounded like she was almost bouncing for joy. 

Her enthusiasm made me smile, but also made my head hurt more. It was hard to be as excited as she was.

“I’m ok,” I murmured.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” She asked, her entire tone changed.

“It’s nothing, just a long day. Tell me what your good news is.” I tried to muster up some good cheer.

“Ok, you’ll never guess what happened to me today.” She paused briefly. I didn’t want to think about it, so I let it go, hoping she would just tell me. “You know how I’ve been looking through those cold case files?”

“Sure.”

“Well, it actually paid off. There have been a series of robberies lately and my mentor was working the case. He described the MO to me and I remembered seeing something similar in one of the cold cases. It turns out they were all done by the same person, and because of the cold case, they were able to catch him. So I actually helped solve a crime! It was amazing. I felt like a real detective. It was incredible.”

“That’s wonderful, sweetheart. I’m so proud of you. Of course you solved the crime, you’re the best.”

“Thanks, I feel like I’m buzzing. This is awesome. This is exactly why I want to be a police officer.”

“I’m so proud. That’s great.”

“So now tell me what going on with you?”

I let out a deep sigh, and sat down at my dining room table.

“Nothing seemed to go right today. I was totally off in my classes, which was weird. I worked so hard this weekend to be prepared and yet I missed an easy question on a quiz. And then I get to work and everything’s fine until Tony came on shift at midnight, and all the stupid questions started back up and I just wanted him to shut up.”

“What was Tony asking you this time?”

“He was asking me why I didn’t have a boyfriend; what did I look for in men; then he started asking if I liked the guys who were coming through my line after they left. He kept pestering me, like it was his mission to find the perfect guy for me.”

“What did you do?”

“Nothing at first. I tried to ignore him. Then he dragged Dan back into it, and they kept detailing what they thought my sex life was like super loud so that I had no choice but to listen.”

“Baby…”

“And then, he actually asked me if I would prefer him or Dan.”

“Ugh, what did you say?”

“I came out to him. I thought if I told him I was gay, he’d shut up and let it go.”

“You came out to him?”

“Yes, I told him I was dating a woman, and then he and Dan started asking me what we did in bed. And did we do this or that. God, I wanted to punch him in his stupid mouth, make him shut up.”

“Baby, that’s really bad.”

“I know, right. I don’t want to go in tomorrow because I know he’s going to start right back in again.”

“You have to do something, Waverly.”

I let out a frustrated, teary cry. “Nicole, I don’t HAVE to do anything. I don’t WANT to do anything. I just want it to stop and go to work and ring up stupid groceries and make my money and that’s it. Why should I have to do anything. It’s not my fault, but I’m the one who’s going to pay.”

“You’re paying already. Just tell his supervisor what’s going on.”

“Just tell his supervisor! So now I HAVE to go in during the middle of MY day, in between my classes, find the supervisor, hope he listens to me and for what? It’s not like it’s going to change anything, he’s still going to be there at work tomorrow, but now he’ll know I told on him and things will probably get worse.”

“Or maybe the supervisor will listen to you and fire his ass.”

“Yeah, right. Look I know you’re surrounded by cops who are always doing the right thing and seeking out justice, but the real world doesn’t work like that. I’m a nobody, he’s my manager, who do you think the supervisor will believe?”

“Well, I’d hope he’d believe you. And why are you getting mad at me?”

“Because it’s so easy to sit there over three thousand miles away and tell me what I need to do. Well, you don’t know what I need to do, or what I have to do. I don’t have to do anything. I can go back in tomorrow, suck it up, get through that day, then the next, and the next after that, until the end of the summer when I can finally quit on my own terms. And THAT is what I HAVE to do.” I panted out.

There was a long pause.

“Waverly, would you just listen to me for a minute…”

“Bye, Nicole.” And I hung up.

Then I turned off my phone. I walked back to my bathroom and started the shower. I turned the temperature all the way to hot and when it was ready, I stepped in under the scalding water and tried to burn off the day.


	10. Release

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning:  
> Implied sexual harassment  
> Not so implied sexual content

Chapter 10  
Release

 

The next day, my dread grew with every passing hour. I couldn’t eat, I didn’t want to talk. I sat in the back of my classes and could barely stay focused on what was happening. At the end of my Italian language class, the professor stopped me to ask what was wrong. He said I was usually bubbly and talkative in class, but today I was withdrawn and almost unresponsive. I shrugged and kept my head down, walking out without answering his questions.

The tension continued to mount as I walked across campus. It wasn’t a long walk, but it was usually beautiful. In the summer, the grounds were alive with flowers, trees, squirrels, and birds. There weren’t as many students, so it felt quiet and intimate. I usually loved the walk from class to the store, but today every step felt like an inevitable surge toward a waterfall. My fear built up until I walked into Gracie’s at 4:45pm. Then suddenly, I turned into a zombie. As I passed through the chipped and dirty automatic doors, the all-too familiar scent of the store hit me and I just felt myself switch off. I clocked in, picked up my cash drawer, walked up to my lane, placed my drawer in the register, and became a cashier machine. I had no sense of time. The hours slipped by, the evening manager had to remind me three times to take my break at ten. 

When midnight rolled around and Tony came on shift, I shut down even more. I didn’t exist, I was a Waverly shaped balloon taking up space. I tried to close off my ears as well, but that wasn’t as successful. I could hear Tony and Dan whispering, sometimes not even whisper. I tried to ignore it. I wasn’t there, it wasn’t about me. 

I survived my first hour. 

I only had one more hour left. I decided that I could do it. But then I remembered, I didn’t have Nicole to look forward to. I had left my phone off all night, the previous night. I couldn’t face another lecture about how I wasn’t doing the right thing, how I wasn’t strong enough. In the morning, I deleted the texts without reading them. I couldn’t face those words. I kept my phone on vibrate and in my coat pocket where I wouldn’t see it. It hurt too much to think about how I was disappointing her on top of all this other shit.

I was staring at the bundle of Happy Birthday balloons swaying gently above my register. I was thinking about where the breeze was coming from, rather than what Tony and Dan were doing, when I heard a soft female voice break me out of my trance. Standing in my lane was Mia holding a box of tampons, with a carton of milk and some bananas. She had a warm smile and her hair was styled down, rather than spiked up. It gave her a softer look, while still very masculine. 

“Hi,” she looked down at my name pin. “Waverly.”

“Mia,” I said a little surprised. 

“You remembered my name?” Her smile grew. “I remember your friend said you worked here.”

“For now.” I glanced over at Dan and Tony. They were watching Mia and I as if they were hungry wolves and we were the injured deer. 

I started to ring up her items. I could hear them start to talk to each other, but I tuned them out.

Mia spun around to see what I was looking at, then turned back to face me. “Are they talking about us?”

“Probably.” I finished her order.

She gave me a hard, puzzled look. “Do they always talk about you like that?”

I didn’t even hear what they said, but nodded my head. I started to feel my zombie slip.

“That’s not cool. How long has this been going on?”

I wanted to answer, it was a simple answer, but the words wouldn’t leave my mouth.

I felt the sting of a tear build up, and I let out a heavy breath.

“Are you ok?” She reached out and put her hand on my arm.

I shook my head.

Then Mia became fierce, her expression turned cold, she spun around and walked straight at Tony and Dan with deliberate anger. 

Tony jumped back as she approached, “What the hell?” And he scrambled back down Dan’s lane abandoning his buddy. Dan, for his part, ducked down in his station like a whack-a-mole.

“You better shut the fuck up, and leave her alone.” Mia yelled at Tony, as he walked backwards down the closest isle.

“Fuck you!” He called out and then turned and walked away.

“Yeah, well, I bet my penis is bigger than yours.” Mia yelled back, then muttered under her breath, “I bet I fuck better with it, too.” She looked down at Dan hidden in the well of his station.

Tears spilled down my cheeks, but through it, I laughed out loud. The sight of Disappearing Dan and Retreating Tony was priceless.

Mia walked back to me with an apologetic look. 

“I think I’m about to be kicked out of this grocery for life, but until then, is it ok if I hang out here with you, make sure they leave you alone? When do you get off work?”

I stared at her open mouthed, this was the second time she’d rescued me.

I looked down at my watch, “In about a half hour. You don’t need to leave?” I asked, wiping away my tears and thinking there was no way she planned on spending a half hour at the grocery when she came in.

“It’s one o’clock in the morning, where else can I go?” She gave me her boyish grin. 

I finished her transaction while she asked me about Tony and Dan. I quickly told her the story and she offered me a sympathetic look.

“Man, that sucks, I’m so sorry.”

“Yeah, thanks.”

“You know, they have this area of the store pretty well covered by cameras.” Mia looked up at the video camera above my head. “They want to keep a close eye on their cashiers, make sure you aren’t stealing any money.” She winked at me. “I’m sure they also caught Tony harassing you. And if you need me to, I can be a witness, I heard some of what he said. If you want, that is.”

Who was this woman? Was she some sort of guardian angel? “Thanks” I whispered.

“Let me see your cell phone, so I can give you my number in case you need me as a witness.”

I smiled and bit my bottom lip- smooth Mia, very smooth.

I pulled out my cell and Mia stepped up next to me. There was a long line of texts, mostly from Nicole, but a couple from Laura as well.

“Who is Nicole?” Asked Mia.

“She’s kind of my girlfriend.” I replied.

“Kind of?”

“We had a fight about all this.” I gestured in the direction of Dan.

“What did she say?”

“She was trying to tell me what to do, she said I had to report him.”

“Not to be a bad guy here, but she’s kinda right.”

“I know, but I didn’t need her telling me what to do. I just needed her to listen.”

“Well, it looks like she wants to listen now,” Mia pointed down at the texts. “I see a lot of sorries.”

“Yeah.”

“Hey look, I don’t mean to get in the middle of anything. If you want my number to help you as a witness, that’s fine.”

I opened the phone and got it to my contact page, “Here, why don’t you type it in.” And handed the phone to Mia. She typed in her name and number.

“Do you mind if I call myself, so I’ll have your number, too?” So smooth.

I laughed at her, “Sure.” 

For the remaining few minutes of my shift, Mia stood next to me in my lane and asked about what I was studying. Once I was clocked out, she walked out with me to my car. I didn’t even bother to see if Tony noticed that I had left.

 

“So thanks again for doing that in there. It really meant a lot.” I said.

“Of course. And I hope you think about reporting him. I can’t make a habit out of spending my nights in a grocery.”

“Geez, I’m so sorry. You didn’t need to stay.” I was worried that she felt obligated to take care of me.

“Actually, I think I did, but for me, not for you.” She smiled warmly and held out her hand, “I could never have lived with myself if I left you alone in there.” She paused and looked around the parking lot, then back at me. “It was nice to meet you, again, Waverly.”

“Likewise.” I said and shook her hand.

 

I left Gracie’s parking lot, but didn’t head back to my place. I drove out of town a bit, to where the farm land began. The countless, hypnotizing rows of corn swam past my headlights. I knew I should head back and go to bed. I had classes tomorrow. I had work to go to. But more importantly, I had decisions to make. 

Instead of turning around, though, I headed out farther toward the large lake that rented out pontoon boats. It was a fun summer activity for college students. Mack, Laura, Champ and I did it last summer. We loaded up a couple coolers with drinks and food. Grabbed our towels and bathing suits and spent a really awesome day floating in the middle of the lake. At one point, Mack picked up Laura and tossed her into the lake. Champ tried to do the same thing with me, but he was a little intoxicated by that point. Fortunately, he dropped me on the couch. Mack looked over and picked me up, too, and tossed me in next to Laura. 

It’s funny, that day had stood out in my memory as a really fun, wonderful day that I spent with Champ. But now looking back on it, the day wasn’t fun because of Champ. It was fun because of Mack and Laura. They had been covering up for Champ pretty much since we met them. 

And that made me think about Nicole. Mack and Laura thought she would be good for me, despite knowing Champ and knowing me. I imagined that day on the lake, but instead of Champ, it was Nicole on the boat with me. I envisioned her arms wrapping under me, lifting me up to toss me in. She wouldn’t be drunk or careless. She would smile down at me in her arms and make my stomach melt. She’d flash her dimple and I’d want to hold her to me for as long as I could. 

I pulled over to the side of the road running next to the lake, and I lost it. I openly wept. How did things go so wrong. What the fuck happened to this summer. I wanted to get back to that image of Nicole holding me in her arms, ready to toss me in the lake. I’d be in my bikini, and she’d be in board shorts and sports bra. She would be so beautiful, and she’d look at me like I was the most precious thing on the planet. I wanted that back. I needed us to be ok again.

I pulled out my cell phone, and scanned the texts that Nicole had left for me. Mia was right, there were a lot of sorries. I took a deep breath and hit call. I needed to hear her voice.

Nicole picked up almost immediately.

“Hey baby, I’m SO so sorry. I didn’t mean to tell you what to do. That was really thoughtless of me…”

“Nicole?” I croaked out.

“Yeah,” she sounded worried.

“Can you tell me a story?”

“A story… about what?”

“About you, can you tell me a story about you.”

“Um, let me see, sure. But… Is there something you want to know?”

“Have you ever rented a boat on Lake Marie?” I asked, a little hopeful.

“Ah, yeah. Yes, I have. Last summer, a bunch of friends and I rented a big, double decker pontoon for a friend’s graduation party.”

“Did you have fun?”

“It was great. We just sat around drinking and reminiscing. I guess not much happened, so maybe that’s a boring story. What do you want to hear about?”

“Tell me a story about what you would do if we rented a boat, just the two of us.”

“Now that sounds like a great story.” I heard the creak of Nicole settling back in her bed. “If I rented a boat for the two of us, I’d want it to be special. It would have to be a really warm day, so you wouldn’t feel cold, but I’d want the water to still feel cool against your skin when we jumped in.”

“You wouldn’t toss me in?”

“No, I think I’d rather jump in next to you, so I could hold you in the water. I could feel the warmth of your body next to me.”

“I’d like that, too.”

“Yeah? And I’d want to have the most amazing food for us. Do you like guacamole?”

“Um, am I living and breathing?” I asked sarcastically.

Nicole laughed lightly. “Good, I make the best guacamole and I’d find some fresh chips to serve with it. And, let’s see… What else do you like? What would you want?”

“Anything. I don’t care about the food. I want to hear about what we would do.”

“Ok, so skipping the food. Actually, I know, I’d have a big dish of fresh fruit to eat. That’s vegan and perfect for the boat…”

“Nicole,” I whined.

“No, this is important. You’ll see.”

“Ok, there’s a lot of fruit. I like fruit. Go on.” I started to grin. The dashboard lights created a soft green glow in the front seat. I pulled my legs up and turned so that I was stretched out across the driver’s and passenger’s seats, leaning against the driver’s door.

“Ok, so it will be a hot day. You and I will both be in bikinis.”

“You have a bikini?” I asked, surprised. 

“Yeah, what? You don’t think I’d look good in a bikini?”

“I think you’d look amazing.” I smiled.

“So we’d be wearing some cut-off jeans and a loose t-shirt over our bikinis. I’d drive the boat out to a remote area of the lake, where no one else would find us. And I’d anchor us in a private nook. So it’s just the trees and birds and lake, and us.”

“That sounds great. Then what?” I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the driver’s side seat.

“Then, I’d take you in my arms and kiss you. But first, I’d put on some music, maybe Moby. I’d want to slow dance with you. Actually, I know the perfect song.”

“Which one?”

“Perfect, by Ed Sheeran. And I’d run my hands up the side of your body. I’d slip my palms down under your shirt, pulling it up as I raised my hands, lifting it off of you.”

“Uh huh.” I whispered.

“You’d be standing there before me with your bikini top and cut-off shorts. Have I ever told you how sexy that is. A bikini top and cut-off jean shorts.”

“No, but I’ll keep that in mind.” I bit my nail.

“It would be so hot, I would see a few droplets of sweat collect between your breasts. That would give me a great idea. I’d put down several towels on the floor of the boat to make a comfortable bed for us. I’d lay you back and I’d stretch out next to you. I’d take some of the strawberries that were kept cold in the cooler and and drag one across the skin exposed above your bikini top. I’d listen to your breath catch as the cold berry made contact with your warm skin. I’d lean down to kiss your cooled skin after the berry.”

“Yeah,” I said, breathily. My heart rate was speeding up.

“Would it be ok if I untied the top of your string bikini?” Nicole asked.

“Of course, baby.”

“I’d slowly slip the string out of the knot and let them hang loose over your chest. Then I’d take a bite out of one of the strawberries, the red juice would drip down onto your chest, staining your perfect skin. I’d dip my tongue down to follow and clean up the red juice, and on the way, I’d collect some of the salty sweat from between your breasts.”

I lifted my hand up to my chest. 

“As I was kissing your chest, I’d slowly start to pull down on one the strings, revealing one of your breasts. I’d follow it with my lips, softly circling your nipple with kisses. When it was fully hardened, I’d gently drag my tongue over it, so soft you could barely feel it.”

“Baby, I can feel it.” I slipped my hand inside my shirt.

“Yeah? Do you like it?”

“Uh huh.”

“Good. I’d keep kissing your breast, teasingly. Then I’d pull the the other side down as well, leaving your breasts exposed to the air.”

I whimpered softly. “Take it off. Take the top off.”

“Of course. I’d slip my hand down behind your back, and untie the knot, and lift the top off of your stomach entirely. As I kissed your other breast, I’d run my hand lightly up and down your stomach. Grazing past your abs, up and over you breast, up to your neck, and back down again.”

“Am I touching you?”

“Not yet. Let me take care of you right now.”

“Ok.”

“Next, I think I’d climb up and straddle your hips so I could lean down and kiss you all over. I’d start at your lips. Work my way down your neck, running along your collar bone, and slow down at your chest. I’d take my time with your chest. I’d place soft kisses back and forth across your chest, inching my way down, building up the tension, crawling along the closer I got to your nipples.”

“Please, may I touch you. I want to feel your breasts.” I kept my eyes tightly closed, my imagination humming.

“Keep your hands to yourself.” She purred. “This is about you.”

“I know, but…”

“I want to make your body sing. Let me do this.”

“Yes,” I breathed.

“After reaching your nipples, I’d give them each a soft kiss and then leave them alone. I don’t want you getting too hot, too fast.”

“Baby,” I groaned. “I’m already too hot.”

“Yeah? Good. I’d start to head down over the curve of your breast, pressing up, lifting you with my mouth. Then I’d slowly make my way to your stomach. I’d linger over each and every one of your muscles. I’d go as lightly as I could, trying to make you jump under my touch, just like you did on my couch.”

I let out a moan, and lifted my hand from my breast. I opened my eyes to look out the window of the car. There was a long, dark road in front of me. No headlights in sight in either direction, so I parted my thighs and slipped my hand inside my pants.

“I’d stay on your stomach until I was sure you were soaked. Then I’d head back up to your lips; kiss you again, taste your lips, taste your tongue. Then I’d whisper in your ear- may I untie your bottoms?” She paused, waiting for me. 

I was so lost in her voice, I didn’t realize she was asking for my permission.

“Yes. Just shut up and do it already.” I panted out, a finger circling myself.

Nicole laughed. “You’re getting a little impatient, baby. Do you want me to speed things up?”

“Yes!” I barked out.

Nicole hummed in my ear. “I’m sorry, sweetie, not tonight. Tonight, I’m taking my time. I want you to feel the full weight of just how important you are to me.”

Her words hit me like a punch to the gut. My face scrunched up and tears started to fall. I let out a ragged breath and Nicole stopped.

“Are you ok? Is this ok?” She asked, gently.

“You have no idea how much I need this, I need you.” I let out another breathy cry. 

“I know, I’m so sorry about last night. You needed me, and all I could think about was how I could do nothing to help you. I felt so powerless. I wanted to make it right, fix it for you, but I made it worse.” I heard Nicole’s voice break.

“I love you.” I squeaked out through my tears.

“I love you, too. I hate that someone is hurting you and I’m not there. God! I would do anything to be there with you right now.”

“I know. I’m sorry I worried you. Everything felt like too much. I was scared and I felt like crap, but I didn’t tell you that. I didn’t listen…”

“No baby, I didn’t listen. I didn’t listen to you. And I’m sorry. So, I’m listening now. What do you need?”

“I need to hear you. I can’t hold you, so I need to hear you.”

“I can do that. Do you want me to continue?”

“You know what, I’m sitting in my car on the side of the road by Lake Marie, right now. I didn’t want to go home. But I’m getting really tired. Can you talk to me as I drive home? Maybe talk to me when I get home?”

“Of course.”

“Will you talk me to sleep?” I asked in a small voice.

“Anything.”

I cradled the phone to my ear, pressing it as close as I could. It felt that somehow, if the phone was closer, she was closer, too. “Thank you.”

Nicole talked to me the entire drive home, she talked me through my front door, she talked to me as I changed for bed, and just like I asked, she whispered in my ear until I fell asleep.

 

The next morning, I woke up feeling so much better. I was tired, my bones felt heavy, but I had a new found strength as well. I knew what I wanted to do, sort of. But during the night, maybe in my sleep, it clicked. I wanted to talk to Laura first, but then I was going to report Tony. I couldn’t face another day at work with him there. And I didn’t need to. If I had to, I’d quit and find another job. This one wasn’t worth the torment. 

 

When I called Laura to set up a time to meet, she sounded really worried about me, and jumped at the chance to talk. We agreed to meet at Soma’s in between my morning classes. 

As I walked in, I saw Laura waiting for me in a small booth by the back corner. She had two drinks as well as a couple muffins. 

She stood up and gave me a big hug. “I hope it’s ok, I got you a vanilla rooibos tea. That’s one of your favorites, if I remember right.”

“Wow, thanks.” I said a little surprised. “Yeah, I love it.”

“I also got a banana and an apple muffin. I’m pretty sure they’re vegan.”

“The ones here are, yes.” I gave her a confused look. 

We sat down in the booth and Laura immediately jumped in.

“So, I got a frantic call from Nicole a couple nights ago. She was out of her head worried about you. Do you mind telling me what’s going on?”

“Yeah, that’s why I wanted to meet. We had a bit of a fight.”

“A bit? She was ready to quit her internship and fly back to see you.”

“She said that?” My heart melted a little.

“Yes, she was in tears, I could barely understand her. But she was frantic. She wanted me to go over to your apartment at three in the morning to make sure you were ok. So, I told her that you could get a little hot at times and you probably just needed a little space to cool off. Plus, I didn’t want to wake you up at three. You were probably just tired from work.”

“Did she tell you what was wrong?” I asked.

“No, she wanted me to talk to you. That girl has it bad for you, you know that, right.” Laura shook her head. “I take back what I said before about you two moving too fast. That ship has clearly sailed. She would literally take a bullet for you. She was a mess.”

I smiled and gripped my tea. I don’t know why, but it made my heart soar to hear how upset Nicole was after our fight. 

“I’ll tell you what, I never want to hear another lesbian crying. So, are you going to tell me what was going on?”

“It’s about work. There’s this guy at work who’s harassing me.”

“What’s going on?” Laura’s attitude changed quickly from sarcastic to concerned.

“It’s actually my manager, the one who works the overnight shift. He’s been saying a lot of stuff to me, asking me about boyfriends and who I want to date. He asked if I wanted to date him…”

“No! Gross. How long has this been going on?”

“I don’t know, about a week. I told him I was gay and then he started asking what I do in bed, and if I do this or that. And if I would sleep with certain customers.”

“Wow, that’s terrible. Have you told anyone, at work, I mean?”

“No, not yet. I was thinking I’d do it today. Anyway, Nicole and I were fighting because I was too scared to say anything and she wanted me to report him.”

Laura held out her hand and placed it on my arm. “I think you should definitely say something. Do you want me to go with you?”

I looked up at Laura. I knew she was an amazing friend, but this made her feel more like a sister.

“Honestly, I don’t know. I think I want to do this on my own, but I’m still a little scared.” I sat back in the booth and took a deep breath. “I feel better about it. I talked to Nicole last night. Not really about this, but we talked. And I feel better about deciding to report him. But I have no idea what to expect.”

“I wish I could tell you. But if you want, I can go with you, I can drive you over and wait in the car, if you want.”

“You are the best person in the world, Laura. The best friend ever.” I gave her my wide, Waverly smile. I know I hadn’t done it yet, but just knowing that I was ready to do it, knowing that I had a plan, made me feel lighter. 

“I know,” she said, smugly. “Seriously, though, aren’t you supposed to work tonight? What’s the plan, when do you want to head over?”

“I have another class coming up, but how about after that. I get out at noon. Will that work for you?”

“Honey, I’m here for you. Otherwise, I’d be at home packing up stuff to donate. Why don’t I wait for you here. My car is around the corner and I’ll drive you over. So, are you ready to quit if this doesn’t go well?”

“Absolutely,” Just saying that word made me feel better. “I’ll find another job, if I need to, but I know I don’t want to work with Tony for even one more day.”

“You go girl.” Laura smiled at me. “Meet me back here, I’ll be waiting for you.”

With a lighter heart and the beginning of a plan, I walked off to my next class.

 

After that class let out, I found Laura again at Soma’s and we headed off to Gracie’s. I was starting to feel a little more nervous because it was actually happening. We pulled into Gracie’s parking lot and Laura found a space for her car. She turned off the engine and looked over at me.

“Are you ready?”

“I think so. I need to.” I took a long, slow breath.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to go with you?”

“No, I think I’m ok. Plus, I want the supervisor to take me seriously. I don’t know if it looks weird to have my best friend in there holding my hand. I want to be adult about this, professional, so he or she doesn’t have any reason to doubt me.”

“You got this, Waves. You are stronger than anyone I know.” Laura winked at me and leaned over to kiss my cheek. “Go take down the patriarchy.”

I laughed at her and open the car door.

 

When I walked inside, I saw the same woman working the customer service desk that was there when I put in my application. I now knew her name was Doris and she had been working at Gracie’s for over thirty years. I walked up to her and she greeted me by name.

“How can I help our nicest night-cashier?”

“Thanks, Doris. I need to talk to a supervisor about something. Is there someone available? I’m not sure who I should talk to. I’m kind of having a bit of a problem with another employee.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, honey.” She gave me a concerned look. “Let me see if Anthony is available.” Then she opened the door behind her that lead to a flight of stairs.

A cold shock wave ran through me, Anthony!? As in TONY Anthony? Was he the supervisor on duty now? I felt the panic race through my body. I REALLY didn’t want to see him right now. Plus, he worked nights, he couldn’t be on duty right now, could he? Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. I thought about walking out, just quitting on the spot and walking right out the door. 

Doris reappeared, “Anthony can see you, why don’t you follow me up.” 

I hesitated. Could I ask her who Anthony was? Would that sound weird? I took a slow step forward. My stomach clenched and my hands began to shake. What the fuck was happening. I couldn’t face Tony; it had to be someone else. 

I followed behind Doris and felt like a stupid child being led to the principle’s office. All of my strength seemed to drip out of me with every step I took. At the landing, I saw a glass door standing open, but I couldn’t see who was in the office. Doris motioned for me to walk in. I really didn’t want to be there. This was a huge mistake. I thought about Laura in the car waiting for me. Would she be disappointed if I just ran out and gave up? I knew Nicole would be disappointed with me, at least I thought so. We didn’t talk about my reporting Tony last night, we kind of skipped over that conversation. But I would be disappointed in myself. I HAD to do this. If Tony was sitting in that office, I’d tell him- ‘I quit,’ and walk out. Doris was there with me, so I wouldn’t be alone with him. I’d quit and follow Doris back out.

I crossed the threshold into the office and looked over at the large wooden desk sitting out in the middle of the room. Behind it was a tall man who reminded me of Trevor Noah. He had a kind smile and held out his hand for me.

“Waverly, it’s good to meet you, finally. You are one of the few cashiers that customers call in to compliment.” I shook his hand and slowly let out the breath I was holding. “That’s pretty rare.” He smiled. 

I turned to look at Doris. She winked at me and then walked out of the office.

“So how can I help you? Doris mentioned that you’re having problems with another employee?” 

I sat down in the chair across the desk from Anthony. I pulled at the bottom hem of my shirt. For all my bravado earlier, I suddenly realized I had no idea what I wanted to say, or even how to say it. My hands were shaking again, worse than before. I felt the tears start to build up behind my eyes and my nose start to sting. I really didn’t want to cry; I was going to be professional, adult, not a weepy girl. 

But I couldn’t help it. The words wouldn’t come, but the tears did. I buried my face in my hands and cried. I looked up when I heard Anthony stand. He walked over to close his office door and picked up a box of Kleenex. He walked back around his desk and placed the tissues in front of me before sitting back down.

I nodded my thanks and took a couple of the tissues and tried to clean myself up. I sat back in the chair, looked up at the ceiling, and let out a hot breath. I could do this.

I looked back over at Anthony. He had a worried look, but he sat patiently waiting for me to compose myself with his hands folded over his desk. 

Finally, I felt the wave of panic and fear fall away. I cleared my throat and started as best I could.

“I want to report the night manager, Tony, for harassment.” My voice felt squeaky, not authoritative like I wanted it to be.

Anthony nodded his head gravely. “Can you tell me what’s been going on?”

I let out another long breath, feeling a bit more steady, and launched into a description of all the things Tony and Dan had been saying to me over the past few days. I tried to describe them in chronological order. 

Anthony pulled out a notepad from his desk and was taking notes as I talked. He seemed to be listening and taking it seriously. For that, I was super grateful. 

I was starting to describe what happened on Monday night when another shot of cold panic hit me. That was the day I came out to Tony and Dan. Now I’d have to come out to Anthony, too. I sat stunned by the realization, staring at Anthony, trying to make the quick calculations about whether or not I should do it. 

I felt like I needed to because when I came out to Tony, things got so much worse. 

Anthony looked up from where he was taking notes, hearing the pause in my story. “Is everything ok?”

I sat opened mouthed, not sure what to do.

“I understand that this is incredibly difficult. And I want you to know that we take these types of allegations very seriously…”

“I’m gay.” I blurted.

“Pardon?”

“I’m gay.” I repeated just as quick. “I told Tony I was gay and then he pushed me to describe what I do in bed. He and Dan kept joking around about my sex life.”

Anthony nodded again and resumed taking notes.

I was surprised that he didn’t seem at all phased by the fact that I just told him I was gay.

“Is there anything else that he did?”

Then I remembered about Mia. “There was a woman who came through my line last night at one, she heard Tony and Dan talking, too. She yelled at them to stop and stayed with me for the rest of my shift. I have her name and phone number, if you want them.”

“Actually, that would be very helpful. Thank you. So he was saying these things in front of customers, too.”

“Yeah, well, at least in front of her.”

“And Dan was participating?”

A slight panic hit when I realized that I was getting him into trouble, too. But as I thought about it, I recognized that he WAS participating in it. Maybe not in the beginning, but definitely by the end. And fuck him. He made his choice, now I was making mine.

“Yes, he did. At first it was really just Tony, and Tony dragged Dan into it. But yesterday, Dan was definitely a part of it too.”

“Thank you for letting us know about this. Do you have any plans for how you want to handle this?”

I wasn’t sure what he meant by that.

“Do you want to continue working here? Or were you planning on leaving?”

“I’m not sure. I didn’t think about that,” I lied.

“Well, you are scheduled to work tonight, correct?” I nodded in response. “And Tony is scheduled to work as well. Do you want to take the rest of the week off? That will give me some time to investigate this and you won’t have to work under him in the mean time.”

At this suggestion, I felt a weight lift off my shoulders.

“Yeah, that would be great.” I said.

“And moving forward, I can look at trying to switch you to a three to midnight shift so you avoid him, if you want to stay working here.”

I stared at Anthony. I wasn’t sure what to say.

“Why don’t you take this time to figure out if you want to continue here at Gracie’s. We’d be sad to see you go, but I’d fully understand. I’ll give you a call before Monday to let you know the status of my investigation.”

I nodded my head.

“Also, as a part of our workman’s comp program, our employees have access to therapists.” He opened a side drawer in his desk and pulled out two business cards. “Let me know if you would like to speak with one of them and I’ll help you set it up. Here is my business card, it has my direct line to this office, in case you think of anything else or make any decisions about your employment.”

I took the cards from him in silence.

“Also, there’s a domestic violence shelter here in town, and they have a sexual assault hotline if you need to talk to someone sooner. It’s open twenty four hours a day.” He looked up the phone number on his computer and wrote it down on a piece of paper and handed it to me.   
“Take care of yourself, Waverly. And I’m glad you told me about this. I’ll let you know what we decide to do by Monday.” 

I walked out the door of Gracie’s in a haze. I wasn’t sure what to think about it, but knowing I didn’t need to come back that evening was unbelievably freeing. 

I walked back to Laura’s car and slipped into the passenger seat.

“So, how did it go?” She asked.

“I don’t have to work for the rest of the week. I told him what happened and he listened and took notes and said he’d look into it.”

“Waves, I’m really proud of you.” She hugged me from the driver’s seat. “So you’re off tonight? Do you want to go out and celebrate?”

“Honestly, I don’t know. Sort of, but I feel exhausted.” 

“That’s fine. Do you want to head home, take a nap, and call me later?”

“I still have one more class today.” I groaned.

“Skip it. You’re allowed to skip it today. I give you my permission. You are a perfect student, nobody will give you any shit for missing one day.” Laura encouraged.

I laughed at Laura, but in truth that sounded very appealing.

“Are you sure?”

“Cut yourself some slack. Email your professor and tell them that you don’t feel well. You need a break.”

“Ok, I think you’re right.” I pulled out my cell-phone, and opened up my emails. 

“That’s the spirit. I’ll drop you off and then you get some rest. I want to hear from you tonight, though. If I don’t, I’m going to come banging on your door. I’m taking you out for dinner. My treat.”

“You’re the best, Laura. Thanks for coming with me.”

“Of course.” She smiled at me and started her car.

 

When I got back to my apartment, I fell into bed like a stone in a pond, and sleep enveloped me. I didn’t realize just how tired I was. When I woke up several hours later, I was still tired. My entire body ached from the nap, I slept so hard. I pushed myself up and out the bed and stumbled into my bathroom. I turned the water in the shower on hot and sat down on the toilet waiting for it to warm up. 

Once in the shower, I faced the water and let the heat soak into my body. I turned around and felt the sting on my shoulders and back of my neck. I tried rolling my neck and shoulders to loosen them up. I pulled the steamy air into my lungs and slowly started to feel more human. 

When I stepped out of the shower, I heard my cell-phone buzzing. I quickly wrapped a towel around my body and ran into my bedroom. I was hoping it was Nicole calling. I had quickly texted her to let her know that I finally reported Tony during the ride back from Gracie’s. 

I grabbed my phone and saw Laura’s name and number across the screen. Not that I was disappointed to hear from her, but I was a little disappointed that it wasn’t Nicole.

“Hey beautiful.” I said. “I just got out of the shower.”

“How are you feeling?”

“Better, but still really tired. I don’t think I realized how much this effected me.”

“Are you up for dinner?”

“Sure, but I don’t think I want to stay out late tonight. Plus I have classes tomorrow. I can’t skip everything this week.”

“Sure. I get it. How about this weekend, instead.”

“You mean to go out, or have dinner?”

“Either, what do you feel up for?”

“Would you be mad if I bug out tonight. I’ll probably feel more up for it this weekend.”

“That’s ok. Have you talked to Nicole about it, yet?”

“Not yet. She’s working for another couple hours, though.”

“I get it, you’re blowing me off to have phone sex with your girlfriend.”

“No, I’m not!” My face lit up bright red.

“I’m kidding, geez. Do you want to meet for coffee at Soma’s tomorrow?”

“That sounds awesome. I have a class until noon. How about I meet you then?”

“Perfect.” 

Suddenly, I thought about Nicole’s song and I flushed again.

“See you tomorrow.”

“Sleep well, Waves.”

 

I tossed my phone back on my bed and looked around my room. I sighed and flopped back next to my phone. I knew I would have to think about food, but for that moment I reveled in the fact that I didn’t have to be anywhere or do anything.

And I fell back to sleep.

When I woke up, I realized my phone was buzzing again. Next, I realized I was still wrapped up in a cold, damp towel and my feet were numb and blue. I took off my towel and kicked it off the side of my bed, then picked up my phone. This time it was Nicole.

“So are you proud of me?” I answered the phone.

“You did it?” Nicole asked.

“Yep.” I scooted back in my bed, and pulled my naked body under the covers to warm up.

“What happened?”

“I told the supervisor what Tony and Dan were doing. He took notes and said he would look into it. He gave me the rest of the week off so I wouldn’t have to work with Tony and said he might even be able to switch me to an earlier shift, so I don’t have to work past midnight.”

“That’s great, baby. I am SO proud of you.”

“I’m just glad that I’m not disappointing you anymore.”

“Disappointing me?” Nicole asked.

“Yeah, I could tell you seemed disappointed that I didn’t speak up earlier.”

“Waverly,” Nicole said, sternly. “I was never disappointed by you.”

Her tone caused me to stop.

“But you were mad I didn’t report him sooner?”

“I wasn’t mad at you. I was mad at Tony, at myself for not being there. I was mad at the circumstances, that you had face this on your own. Here I am, wanting to become a police officer and I couldn’t even help my girlfriend.” She took a deep breath. “I wasn’t mad at you, and I would never be disappoint by you. I was worried about you. I didn’t know how to make it better, and I was mad at myself.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“I know, but I also wasn’t there for you. I promised to be there for you and I wasn’t.”

“But you were there for me. Last night when I called, you were there right when I need you most.”

“I really liked that.” She admitted. “I loved talking you to sleep, I finally felt like I wasn’t completely useless.” 

“You were hardly useless, especially last night. I really liked the other stuff, too.”

“Yeah?” Nicole said, breathily.

“Yes. And you know what else?”

“What?”

“I’m naked and in my bed.”

“You mean, not on the side of the road where anyone can see?”

“I wasn’t naked on the side of the road.” I retorted. “Do you want to continue where you left off last night?”

“Oh God. You have no idea.” She groaned. 

“Are you home?”

“Uh huh,” Nicole growled out.

“I think you were undressing me on a pontoon in the middle of Lake Marie.” I added.

“If I remember correctly, we were hidden away in a private nook, not in the middle. I have no desire to share you with anyone else, even if they’re just able to watch.”

“Details, details. Are you going to undress me, or not?”

“I would love to.”

I put my phone in my left hand, so my right would be free and closed my eyes.

“If I remember correctly, I was kissing my way along your stomach.” Started Nicole.

“That’s right.” I said.

“I can’t wait to touch you for real.”

“Nicole, focus.”

She laughed at my impatience.

“Ok. If we were on our boat and I wanted to undress you, I’d take my time…”

I settled back into my covers and waited for her magic voice to transport me again.


	11. Making Plans

Chapter 11:  
Making Plans

 

The next day, I found Laura waiting for me in our favorite chairs at Soma’s. She was engrossed in a book and didn’t notice me walk in. I nudged her leg with my foot. 

“Hey beautiful,” I said.

“Waves, sorry. I’ve been sorting through all my books, trying to figure out which ones to keep and which to donate to the library.” She held up a copy of “Catcher in the Rye.”

“If it was me, I’d keep them all.”

“I know, I want to. I just don’t know if we’ll have the bookshelves for all Mack’s books as well as mine. Mack took me on a virtual tour of our new apartment.”

“So he finally settled on one?”

“Yes, and it’s close to Wrigley Field. There are a ton of restaurants and bars within walking distance. And it’s close to the L. I can’t wait to see it for real.”

“Are you going up before you move?”

“No, but it’s only a few more weeks away. We decided that I should move up during the first week in August, rather than the end. That will be before Mack starts law school, so he can help. And I’m ready, too.”

“You’re leaving me early?”

“Yeah, but only by a couple weeks.”

“I guess I’ll forgive you.” I pouted.

“So how was your first night of freedom?”

I thought back to the evening I spent listening to Nicole’s silky voice. “It was amazing. I think I needed the break, even without all the harassment stuff, I think I was feeling overwhelmed. Then the Tony situation just pushed me over the edge. I’m so glad Mia was there to help out.”

“Mia?”

“Oh, you remember the woman from Bullwinkles? The one who saved us from Large Marge? She showed up at Gracie’s on Tuesday night and yelled at Tony.”

“How did she find you at Gracie’s?”

“Um, you told her I worked there.”

“I did?”

“You were drunk.”

“My bad. Sorry.” She laughed at herself.

“Don’t be, she overheard some of the stuff Tony and Dan were saying, and she said she could be a witness to the harassment. She really saved my ass in there.” I shook my head. “Oh, that reminds me, I should text her, let her know that the supervisor may be calling her for a statement.” I pulled out my phone to start the text.

“You have her number?” Asked Laura.

“Well, I needed it to give to my supervisor. She was really nice. She even stayed with me until my shift was over.”

Laura leaned over and forced me to look her in the eye. “She hung out in a grocery store until two in the morning, and you think she’s just being nice?”

“Well, she came in close to the end of my shift, so it was only a few extra minutes.”

“Whatever.” Said Laura, leaning back in her chair.

I finished up my text to Mia, and we went back to our conversation about Laura’s impending move.

“What else are you donating?” I asked. Just then a return text came back from Mia.

MT> Hi Waverly, good to hear from you. I’m happy to help out. Glad you said something. Are you working on Sat? Bunch of us are renting a couple campsites at Morgan State Park. Campfire/ roasting hot dogs and marshmallows/ good food good company. Would you like to join us?

WE> thanks for the invite. I’m not working. Off until the end of the investigation. Not sure what my plans are. Can I get back to you?

MT> no problem. Hope you can make it.

I looked back up from my phone. Laura was staring at me. 

“I’m sorry, I’m being rude. Mia said that a bunch of her friends are renting a couple campsites to hang out on Saturday. Would you want to go? It would be something different from hanging out at a bar.”

“Camping isn’t really my idea of a good way to spend a night.”

“We don’t have to sleep there, we can just go for the campfire and fun, then head back.”

“Do you want to go?”

“A little. Mia was so nice, I’d like to thank her again.”

“I guess we could go for a bit. If it’s boring, we can always leave.”

“Exactly. I’ll let Mia know.”

 

Saturday night, Laura and I pulled into the parking area for the campsites. It was eight o’clock and well past dusk. The parking lot was a little separated from the campsites, but right next to the bathrooms. 

We parked and grabbed the bag with our food and drinks. Laura agreed to be designated driver that night, so I brought along my favorite bottle of whiskey, just in case all they had was beer.

When we found the right campsite, there were already four tents set up and a roaring fire going in one of the fire pits. The picnic tables from both sites were dragged up next to each other to make one long table close to the fire. There were several camp chairs set up around both fire pits as well. There looked to be about a dozen women there already, but I didn’t see Mia. I pulled out my cellphone to text her, but I noticed that I had zero reception out there in the park. Great. I asked Laura if she had any, and she showed my her phone with no bars as well. Laura and I waited at the edge of the site, not sure what to do. We didn’t know any of these women, my only connection was with Mia. I double checked the camp site number on the text from Mia. We were definitely in the right place, maybe she was running late and couldn’t reach me. 

Just then, one of the tents opened up and Mia stepped out. Her hair was pushed up into a faux-hawk. She had on a loose pair of straight-legged jeans and a short, gray t-shirt. It had BRONIES written across the top in large, black letters and an image of Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle standing with their arms draped over the other’s shoulder. It was tucked in only behind the buckle of her brown, leather belt. She had on hiking boots that added at least a couple more inches to her already tall stature. I hated to admit it, but she was really cute. It made me grin to see a woman so tough-looking, so masculine wearing a My Little Pony t-shirt. Mia scanned the party as she fully stood up out of the tent. I waved at her to catch her eye and her face lit up. She walked over to greet us, 

I looked over at Laura to make sure she saw Mia, too.

“What are you grinning at?” Laura said softly to me.

I realized I still had on the same stupid smile from when I saw Mia’s t-shirt. I quickly composed myself before Mia stepped up to us. 

“Hey guys, I’m glad you made it.” Mia greeted us. “I was hoping you’d show.”

Laura looked around the campground a little disinterested. “You can blame Waverly, camping isn’t my thing.” 

Mia looked back at me and smiled wider. “I’m glad you came.” She looked down at our single grocery bag. “I take it you aren’t planning on spending the night.” She pointed at the bag with nothing but food and the whiskey. 

“No, not really. We’re here for the fireside entertainment, then we’ll head home.” I said.

“Perfect. Let me introduce you around.”

I followed Mia, Laura hesitated and lurked around behind me. Mia took us to meet her friends. Most of them were what I’d call butch, with shorter hair and a lot of bravado. They all laughed and joked with each other like they’d known the others for a long time. Nobody asked if we were gay, but I couldn’t tell if that was because they assumed we were, or they assumed we weren’t. Laura and I weren’t dressed up to be all outdoorsy, like the others. Most of them were wearing jeans or cargo pants with t-shirts and boots. I felt a little out of place in my printed, flowing, dress-like shirt and jean shorts, while Laura had on a matching loose tank top and calf-length skirt. 

After our introductions, Laura and I looked around for a place to sit. We didn’t think about bringing chairs with us, not that either of us had any camp chairs. Mia offered her chair to us, but she only had one. She looked around the campsite and spotted a large log. Mia ran over to it and rolled it closer to the fire pit. 

“Here we go,” she offered. Laura looked down at the log with a grimace. I knew Laura hated bugs and wouldn’t be as comfortable sitting on the log. The only reason she was even out in the woods was because I asked her, so I offered her Mia’s camp chair. I sat down on the log next to Mia. 

“What did you bring to eat?” asked Mia, eyeballing our food bag.

“I brought some vegan hot dogs, chips and salsa. That sort of thing.”

“Are you guys vegan?” Asked Mia.

Laura spoke up, “I’m not, Waverly is, though. And I ate before we came out.”

Mia laughed, looking at Laura, but quickly stifled it when she saw that Laura wasn’t joining her. 

“Sorry, gay humor.” Mia looked over at me. 

I flashed a quick smile to say that I got the joke, but I honestly didn’t notice it until Mia said something. I felt like my lesbian card was about to be revoked and I was only just getting started.

“So, how long have you been vegan?” Asked Mia.

“Since I was a senior in high school. My ex-boyfriend was so pissed when I decided to go vegan. I think he purposefully tried to make up for my lack of meat by eating twice as much.”

“He sounds charming.”

Laura jumped in, “You think that’s charming, you should have heard his belches. They were legendary. He was a complete man-child. I was so happy when Waverly dumped him, I figured that even women would be an improvement over him.”

Mia frowned at Laura but seemed to bite her tongue. I was a little worried because I didn’t think Laura realized what she said was insulting. I didn’t know what to say myself. I knew it didn’t sound good, but I wasn’t sure how to respond. Laura was my best friend, and I didn’t want to embarrass her by calling her out in front of Mia. But didn’t she realize that she was surrounded by a bunch of lesbians who would hardly think I was settling for women because Champ was so bad. Or maybe that’s what Laura actually thought, that this was just a rebound after Champ. That thought shocked me, but it went a lot further toward explaining her hot and cold reaction to my relationship with Nicole. 

I jumped up, grabbing the bag of food, trying to push the thought from my head. “Anyone else want a vegan dog? I got roasted red pepper and mushroom flavor. They’re really tasty.” I looked over at Mia and Laura.

Laura shook her head, “I’m good.”

“I’ve never had a vegan dog. Are they made of tofu?” Mia asked with a wince.

“No, these I think are wheat and mushroom. They’re pretty good. Do you want to try one?”

Mia hesitated. “Could I try a bite of yours? I don’t want to waste your dogs, I’m more of a traditional hot dog girl. But I don’t want to seem like a man-child.”

“You don’t need to worry about that.” I laughed. “Champ is a special case.” 

“You’ve got that right,” quipped Laura. I gave Laura a hard “what the fuck” look. I couldn’t figure out why she was being such a snot. She pulled her legs up into the camp chair and draped her long, flowing skirt over them, and looked away.

I looked back to the bag of food, pulled out the package of veggie dogs, and held them out for Mia. She stood up next to me and looked over the package. I became all too aware of her proximity to me. She was tall, almost as tall as Nicole. When the edge of her t-shirt brushed against my exposed arm a chill ran down my spine, and I felt a warmth from her presence. I stiffened a bit and tried to step away, giving me a little more space. 

“What do you think,” I asked, looking at the fire, rather than Mia. 

“If you don’t mind letting me try a bite of yours, I’m not sure I’m up for a whole dog.” Her voice was soft, deep, and too close. 

“Sure,” I said a little too quickly. I stepped away from Mia to grab one of the roasting sticks propped up on the side of the picnic table. 

I opened the package and stuck one of my dogs on the end of the stick.

One of Mia’s friends walked over with a roasting stick and offered it to Laura. “Would you like a hot dog, I could cook it up for you.” Laura shook her head no, barely looking up at the other woman. She shrugged and walked back to her friends. I noticed that they all seemed to be centered around the second fire pit that was now holding a large fire.

Mia sat back down and tried to resume the conversation with Laura, as I started to roast my dog. 

“I hear that you went with Waverly to report the asshole at Gracie’s.”

“Yeah, I waited in the car for her.”

“You’re a pretty awesome friend.”

“Yeah.”

“Did Waverly tell you that I overheard some of the stuff they were saying to her? It was really fucked up.”

“Yeah, she did.”

Mia nodded her head, seeming to give up on the conversation with Laura, and looked back over at me.

“How’s the fire?”

“Great, a bit big for roasting, but I think I found a good spot.” I squinted and pulled back as the breeze changed direction to push the fire closer to me.

“You know what they say, the fire always follows the prettiest person.” Mia laughed.

I wasn’t sure if the heat in my cheeks was from the fire or from my blush. I hoped that it just looked like the fire was getting too close. I looked over at Laura, she seemed lost in her own world.

I finished roasting the dog and found a bun on the table. I usually didn’t use hot dog buns, but I thought it might make sharing the dog easier. I turned to Mia, “Do you like mustard? I think these are best with some mustard.”

“I love it.” She smiled up at me.

I put some mustard on the dog and walked over to sit down next to Mia.

I held out the dog. “Why don’t you try the first bite.”

“Ok, here we go.” She reached for the bun and took a deep breath and shook her head like this was a triple dog dare. 

I elbowed her in the side, and she chuckled while taking a bite. 

“So?” I asked.

Mia chewed for a bit, furrowing her brow, nodding her head, and concentrating on the bite. “Not bad,” She looked over at me. “Not what I would choose, but not bad.”

“Ok.” I said, taking the bun back.

“No, really, it’s not bad. But like I said, I think I still prefer a real hot dog.”

“Hey, this is a real hot dog.”

“A real MEAT hot dog.”

I grinned at her. 

“I hope I didn’t ruin it for you.” Mia pointed down at the dog. “Putting my non-vegan lips on it.”

My cheeks burned, and again I felt too close to Mia.

I cleared my throat and stood up to grab the bag of chips from our bag. I balanced the dog in one hand while trying to pick up both the chips and salsa in the other. Mia hopped up.

“Here. Let me help you.” She reached out and took the salsa from my hand. I kept my eyes firmly on the chips as I walked back over to the table.

Mia followed behind me. “So, where is Nicole? Why didn’t you bring her?” She asked, looking over her shoulder at Laura. 

“Um, she’s out of town for the summer.”

“Oh, you’re doing the long-distance thing. Sorry. That’s rough.”

“Yes, but it’s just for about a month and a half.”

“How long have you been dating?”

I looked at her sheepishly, “Since the beginning of the summer.”

“Did you guys meet online or something?”

“No, actually I met her through Laura, at her engagement party.”

“Laura’s getting married? To a man or a woman?”

“A man. He’s in Chicago right now, Laura’s moving in about a month.”

“So you two are both doing the long-distance thing.”

“Yep.” I looked over at Laura huddled up on Mia’s chair.

“Laura, would you like some chips?” I asked.

“No thank you, actually, I was thinking about hitting the bathroom. Waves, do you want to go with me?”

I looked down at the food in my hand and then over at Laura. She gave me a pointed look.

“Ah, sure.” I found a paper napkin for the dog and followed her back toward her car.

Laura grabbed my arm as we cleared the campsite.

“Waves, can we get out of here? I’m really not into this.”

“What’s going on with you? You’re being a bit of an ass to Mia.”

“Seriously, Wave. Are you blind? Because you’d have to be, to not see that girl is into you.”

“Well…. I mean, maybe, but she’s just friendly.”

“She’s got a little more than friendship on her mind.” Laura shook her head. “Whatever. Plus, I feel like I’m just a piece of meat out here.”

“You mean with the mosquitoes, I was noticing that myself.”

“No, I mean with Lesbian Central.”

“What?”

“Come on, Waverly. We’re not like them. This isn’t you. Last summer, I had to beg to get you and Champ out on a boat, and now you want to hang out at Womyn’s Fest in the woods.” She gestured back at the campsite. “You don’t even look like them.”

My mouth fell open.

“Waves, I don’t mean it like that. I just mean that this isn’t who you are. What are we doing out here anyway? We could be having fun at Bullwinkles instead.”

“And you don’t think you’ll be surrounded by gay people there?” I said, still shocked.

“Well, at least there it’s mostly men. They’re fun to look at, right.”

My heart hit my stomach. I didn’t know how to tell her that her words were gutting me.

“Please, Waverly, it’s not like we’re having any fun. This is totally lame.”

I am- got stuck in my throat. I wanted to tell her, but I was also afraid to admit it because it would mean I was having a good time with Mia. And that felt kinda wrong.

“Come on, let’s go. I know Nicole will thank me.”

I looked back at the campsite. I didn’t want to leave and Laura was pissing me off, but I felt like I really shouldn’t stay by myself, either. Maybe it was better to leave with Laura and forget about this camp out. 

“I need to tell Mia and get the bag.”

“I’ll wait here.”

I slowly walked back to the campfire, debating what to do. I saw Mia still sitting on the log and staring at the fire. I shouldn’t want to stay here, this was clearly trouble, but I also felt a whole lot more comfortable here than with Laura right now. Mia saw me return and stood up.

“Everything ok?” She asked  
.  
“Not really. I’m sorry Laura’s being an ass. I think she’s really tired. It’s been a long week.”

“I get it.” And from the look on her face, I think she was able to read between the lines and really get it. 

“She wants to leave and she’s my ride, so I need to head out, too.”

“If you want, I can take you home later. If you want to stay longer.” Mia offered.

There was a big tug at my gut that told me to say yes. I tried to think about how Nicole would feel if she knew, or how I’d feel if Nicole faced this same situation, and I knew I needed to go.

“That’s ok. It looks like you’re here for the night,” I pointed at the tent she emerged from when we first arrived. “I don’t want to put you out.”

“I wouldn’t have offered if I didn’t mean it.”

“I know, but you’ve done too much for me already.”

“Ok.” Mia replied, a little dejected. 

I grabbed my bag, tossed out the hot dog, and left the chips and salsa behind. I waved goodbye to Mia and headed back to Laura. We rode home in relative silence, both lost in our own thoughts. 

As I waited for Nicole to call that night, I debated about whether to tell her what Laura said. If I did, I’d have to tell her about Mia as well. I was worried that she would take it the wrong way. That was the one thing that Nicole was worried about when we first got together, that I would meet someone else. And I guess I did, sort of, but it wasn’t like I wanted to date Mia. She had just managed to be around when I needed her. And her attraction, however harmless, felt nice, but didn’t come close to what I felt for Nicole. I decided to let the Laura-thing go, in favor of just talking to her myself. I didn’t want to start another fight with Nicole so soon after our first.

The next morning, I was working on my assignments for the following week, when I realized that I hadn’t heard from Anthony at Gracie’s. I got out his direct line business card and dialed the number, but he didn’t answer. I listened to his voicemail and left a message. 

I was back to my studies around noon when he finally called me back.

“Hi Waverly, this is Anthony Meyers at Gracie’s.”

“Hi Anthony, I’m glad you called back. I wasn’t sure what the plan was for tomorrow or what was going on with Tony.”

“Well, regarding Tony, we decided to put a reprimand on his record, and we’ll be sure to not schedule the two of you together. We have fired Dan for his part.”

“Wait! You kept Tony and fired Dan?” I said, more than a little shocked.

“We have certain protocol to follow when disciplining an employee. Since we didn’t have any direct evidence of what he said, this was the most appropriate step to take.”

“No direct evidence? What about what I told you? And didn’t you talk to my friend Mia, she heard him, too.”

“I understand your concern, the problem is that it is only hearsay and Tony denied saying any of it.”

“Well of course he denied it!” I was exasperated. 

“Listen Waverly, I don’t have any reason to doubt you, but these are the steps that I have to take before firing a manager. If he does it again, or to someone else, we’ll have a history of bad behavior to fall back on, if we fire him. If he ever says anything to you again, see if you can write down a record of exactly what he says to you.”

“But I thought I wasn’t going to be working with him again.”

“Well, if you happen to work under him again.”

I let out a disgusted sigh.

“I understand, this isn’t the outcome you hoped for, but having a reprimand on his employment record is serious. It will follow him forward, if he leaves us to work elsewhere.”

My anger was rising like bile in my throat.

“Have you made any decisions regarding your future employment at Gracie’s?”

“No,” I said sternly. “Can I have one more day to think it over?”

“Of course. I had you down on the schedule for tomorrow, three to midnight. Do you want me to cancel that?”

“Yes, I think I need a little more time to think about it.”

“Of course, but I’ll need to hear from you tomorrow by three regarding your decision for the rest of the week. Please take care of yourself.”

His words fell flat this time. When I was in the office talking to him, it felt like he was genuinely concerned. Now it felt like I was being handled, and not with care.

“Sure. I’ll call you by three tomorrow.”

“Thanks Waverly. Goodbye.”

“Bye.”

 

I immediately dialed Nicole.

“Hey baby, this is earlier than I was expecting. Is everything ok.”

My anger was burning its way up my chest.

“NO!” I yelled. “I just talked to the stupid, shit-ticket supervisor at Gracie’s. All they did was put a reprimand on Tony’s record. He’s still working there. At least they fired Dan, though.” I was panting in frustration.

“They kept Tony?” Nicole repeated, shocked.

“YES! Can you believe it. After everything I told them, and even after talking to Mia…” My eyes shot open in horror at my slip. Oh fudge.

“Mia? Who’s Mia?”

My heart was pounding out of both anger and fear. 

“Um, remember the woman who stepped in with Large Marge at Bullwinkles, Laura sort of told her I worked at Gracie’s. And she showed up once last week and overheard some of the stuff Tony was saying. She agreed to be a witness for me.” I hoped that sounded innocent enough. It was innocent, anyway. It was totally innocent. 

“She came by to see you after midnight at work?” Nicole tried to clarify.

“Sort of, I mean, she wasn’t there to see me, specifically. She was shopping. I just happened to be there.”

“Ok,” Nicole paused.

“Anyway, when I was check… I mean, ringing her up, she overheard what Tony and Dan were saying and she kinda yelled at them. Then she said she would be a witness for me.” I held my breath, hoping that would be enough of an explanation. 

“She yelled at them? What did she say?” Nicole sounded curious rather than alarmed. I let out my breath.

“Yeah, it was great. She charged at them and told them to shut the fuck up and to leave me alone. Dan hid in his lane and Tony ran away like a coward.”

“Well, I’m glad she was there.”

“Yeah, me too.”

There was a pause on the line.

“So now they want to know if I’m coming back to work. Nicole, if I’m really honest, these past few days of not working there have been the best. I really don’t want to go back if there’s a chance I’ll run into Tony again.” I waited for her response.

“Then don’t. That actually brings up something I was going to ask you tonight. I was thinking that next week is the Fourth of July, and the Sheriff’s Department is taking part in the annual parade here in town. I’m going to be in the parade, too. They even found a uniform for me to wear. I was wondering if you would like to come out here for the week and see me?”

“You want me to come out to see you? What about your mom? I mean, I’d love to. Yes! But how would we afford it?”

Nicole laughed. “I was going to tell you that when I helped solve the robbery case, the department gave me part of the outstanding reward on the cold case. It was about three thousand dollars, but that should be plenty to fly you out and get a hotel for the week. If you can make it, I have some time off that week anyway for the holiday, but I’ll see if I can take some more time off to show you around Coos Bay.”

“Baby, I’d love to. Can I come out right now?”

Again I heard Nicole chuckle. “What about your classes?” 

“Fuck them, I want to see you.” I blushed at my own words.

“I think I’m being a bad influence on you.”

“I think you’re a great influence on me. Let me check my schedule around the holiday.”

I opened up the calendar on my phone and scrolled down to the week of the fourth. 

“So, I have off that Monday and Tuesday for the holiday, so I’d only be missing the last three days, if I came out for the whole week. Then it’s just a week left of classes and finals, then a couple weeks until you get back. Yeah!”

“So what do you think? I know it’s close to finals, and I hate to ask you to miss school, but I really want to see you.”

“I really want to see you, too, baby. I miss you so unbelievably much. Let me talk to my professors, see if I can get the work for that week done ahead of time. Maybe they’ll let me go. Plus, if I’m no longer working at Gracie’s, I’ll have all that time to study ahead.”

“That sounds awesome. God, I hope it works out. I don’t want to get my hopes up until you know for sure, but I’d love to show you around. I’d take you out to the Surfer’s Beach, and to the state parks out here. We could go to my favorite restaurants and Dutch Brothers. I could take you out to see the Sea Lion Cave and Haceta Head Lighthouse…” Nicole trailed off.

“That all sounds amazing, baby. I want to do every single one of those things with you. I’ll do my best to get out of my classes for that week.”

“I can’t wait. I hope it works out.”

“Me, too. But what about your mom? Will she be ok with this?”

“That’s why I’m thinking we’ll get a hotel room.”

“Oh, very clever.” I sang. “Now I really can’t wait. Nicole, you better start resting up now because I’m totally going to wear you out.”

“I’d expect nothing less.”

“In fact, I kinda want to wear you out a little right now.” I purred.

“And just how would you go about that?” She asked all innocently.

“Are you alone?”

“Uh huh”

“Take off your clothes and get in your bed. But don’t touch yourself.” I commanded.

“Um, ok?”

“You better not touch yourself.”

“Baby, how do you think this is going to work?”

“I’m going to make you listen to me describe how I’m touching myself and thinking about you. I want to torture you with my voice, just like you tortured me last night.”

She let out a deep groan. 

“And I’ll know if you’re touching yourself, smarty pants, because you’ll come too soon.”

“Oh God. Baby…”


	12. Oregon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We all know where this one’s headed...

Chapter 12  
Oregon

 

The first thing I did the next day was quit my job at Gracie’s. When I called, there was a different manager on duty, but he seemed to be expecting my call and told me that I could pick up my final pay check on Friday. As soon as I hung up the phone, I knew I made the right decision. Even if there wasn’t a chance that I’d run into Tony, I still didn’t want to work there anymore. Just the thought of standing in that lane, trapped for hours, knowing what had taken place there was excruciating. I never wanted to step foot in Gracie’s ever again, even just to shop.

As I packed my bag for class, I thought about where I could look for another job, but the one good thing about Gracie’s was that they paid me well and I didn’t have to immediately find a new one. I had managed to save quite a bit; being boring and working myself to death with a job and classes helped. Now I had the freedom to pursue my newest high priority, finding a way to get out to Oregon. Even more than doing well in my classes, my need to see Nicole outweighed everything else. When she suggested it, it was like a door was thrown wide open for me, and I wondered why I didn’t think of it myself.

 

I had three classes on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays; two classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays. So my goal that day was to find each of the professors and try to figure out a way to miss those classes after the Fourth of July. I was a woman on a mission. I considered making up a wild excuse as to why I couldn’t be in class on those days, but I really liked the teachers and didn’t feel comfortable lying to them. I hoped that the truth, or at least some portion of the truth would be enough. I had no desire to tell them that I really wanted to go to Oregon to bang my Haught girlfriend. The thought of saying that to my professors left me laughing in my kitchen. I wanted to call Nicole to share the humor, but I looked at my watch and realized that it was only five in the morning in Oregon. I’d have to save that for later.

I stepped out of my apartment to walk to my first class, when my phone buzzed. I looked down and saw that it was Mia.

MT> Just checking in, hope you made it home ok. I had fun on Sat.

I considered my reply. I thought Mia was being nothing but nice on Saturday, but Laura seemed to think she was a predator ready to strike. Of course, she seemed to think that all the women on Saturday were lions ready to devour us whole, so I couldn’t tell if her feelings about Mia were because Mia was gay or because she wasn’t Nicole. 

WE> Made it home safe. Thx. I had fun too. I just talked to Nicole, she invited me to visit in Oregon. So no more long distance. Yeah. Now I have to tell my professors that I want to miss class to bang my Haught girlfriend. 

MT> wait. Nicole Haught is your girlfriend!! 

WE> Yes, why? You know her?

MT> I can’t believe you’re dating the Haughtbreaker?! Yes, I know her. Unfortunately.

Mia’s response floored me.

WE> Why do you say that?

MT> She’s got a reputation. I just hope for your sake she’s grown up a little.

WE> I need to go to class now, can we talk later?

MT> sure, give me a call when you’re free.

 

I was completely distracted by Mia’s text. How could she possibly not like Nicole? Nicole was the nicest person in the world, and what did she mean by grow up? I couldn’t imaging anyone more mature than her. 

I was so distracted that when I walked into my class, I almost forgot to ask if I could speak to the professor after class. Almost.

I tried to stay engaged during class, but I kept finding myself thinking about Mia’s text and staring at the gray and white tiled floor. I hoped it didn’t hurt my chances for getting out of the class for the holiday weekend. 

After class, I approached my professor. She was an older woman, a little heavyset, but beautiful, with strikingly gray hair and intelligent brown eyes. I asked her how bad it would be if I missed the two classes the week of the upcoming holiday. 

“Do you have travel plans?” She asked.

“Yes, I’m going to Oregon, but I was hoping to take the full week.” I answered.

“I appreciate your honesty, and letting me know in advance rather than just not showing up. That’s what most students do.”

“I thought that maybe I could get the homework done in advance, maybe read ahead in the book?”

“Well reading ahead is great, but it won’t make up for being in class. Do you have a friend in the class who can take good notes for you?”

“I’ll be sure to find someone to take notes for me.” I was getting excited. She wasn’t treating me like a child, instead I felt like an adult capable of making my own decisions and dealing with the consequences. 

“If you need any extra help when you get back, you have my office hours. It will be right before finals. That’s a tough time to miss.” She warned.

“I understand. I’ll do my best to stay up to date with the class, and I promise to come see you if I have any questions.”

“So, what will you be doing in Oregon?”

I froze for a moment, panicked. Do I tell her the truth? This was already going so well, I didn’t want to ruin it by coming out. I thought back to what Nicole said about sometimes letting it slide, I wondered if this was one of those moments.

“Everything ok?” my professor asked.

But she just said that she liked my honesty. I bit the bullet.

“I’m visiting my girlfriend.” I said with a sinking feeling.

She smiled warmly at me and nodded. “I understand. I have a daughter who’s gay, too. Does your girlfriend live in Oregon?”

“No, she’s just there for the summer. I’ve never been there before and she wanted to show me around.” 

“That sounds nice, I hear Oregon is very beautiful. You’ll have to tell me how it is.”

“Of course.” I felt like my heart flew wide open, I was allowed to miss class and my teacher didn’t care that I was gay. She even had a gay daughter herself! I was really glad I didn’t lie.

I used that conversation as a guide for how to approach my other teachers. I proactively suggested that I would find someone from each of the classes to take notes for me, I would study ahead and seek them out during office hours if I had any questions. In turn, the professors said they were ok with my missing the classes that week. Well, if not ok, at least they wouldn’t fail me for missing. 

It was dinner time when I had managed to track down all the professors. I wanted to call Nicole right away to let her know that I could make it, but I knew she still had a couple more hours at work. I didn’t want to interrupt her, in case she was trying to convince her mentor that she was an excellent worker and deserved to take some time off after the Fourth. 

I practically skipped my way back to my apartment, mentally packing my bags, when I received a text from Laura. I was still pissed at Laura for how she treated Mia on Saturday, but I wasn’t ready to have that conversation. I quickly typed back a response letting her know that I had officially quit my job at Gracie’s and that Nicole had invited me to visit her. I told her I was busy making the arrangements for the trip and asked if I could talk to her later. 

Laura’s text reminded me about Mia’s text and her really cryptic warning about Nicole. I did want to get to the bottom of that conversation. When I arrived back at my apartment, I quickly threw together a stir-fry and sat down at my kitchen table to eat and call Mia back.

“How’s my favorite Gracie’s grocer today?” Mia answered her phone.

“Officially no longer a Gracie’s grocer as of this morning.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yep, I quit this morning and I can’t be happier. If I ever set foot back in there, it will be too soon.”

“Good for you. So whatever happened with all that?”

“You remember the other cashier, Dan? They fired him, but they kept the manager. They said they reprimanded him, whatever the hell that means.”

“That’s total bullshit.”

“I know, but it made it easier to quit. So I’m back to being happily unemployed.”

“What are you going to do now?”

Visit Nicole, I thought to myself, hopefully fuck her brains out.

“I’m not sure. I’m taking a break for a while, and like I said, I’m going out to visit Nicole.”

Mia groaned. “I still can’t believe you’re dating her.”

“So, what’s up with that, anyway? Why don’t you like Nicole?”

“It’s a long story, and I don’t want to talk trash about your girlfriend.”

“Mia, if there’s something I should know about Nicole, then spill it.” I demanded.

“Look, she has a reputation for messing around with women and then leaving them hanging.”

“What?” I couldn’t possibly believe that.

“Yeah, that and a couple years ago, we were all out at Bullwinkles and I told Nicole I was really interested in this one woman, then I left to go to the bathroom and by the time I got back, Nicole was out on the dance floor all over her, she even left with her. I mean, what kind of a bitch does that. Within minutes of finding out I wanted to ask her to dance, Nicole was all over her, just throwing it in my face. It was really not cool.” Mia sighed, heavily. 

I took a moment to compare what I knew of Nicole and what Mia was telling me.

“Are you sure?” I asked, really confused.

“Am I sure I watched Nicole hit on the one woman I was really attracted to and had just told her I was attracted to. Yes, I’m sure.” Mia complained.

“I’m sorry, it’s just hard to imagine.”

“Well, I didn’t have to imagine it. I unfortunately had to watch it.”

“I’m sorry.” I said, not sure what to say.

“You’re not the one who needs to apologize.” She huffed. “I can’t believe you fell for her, God that’s so frustrating. She can pick up anyone, but then leaves them just as quickly.” Mia paused a moment. “Like I said before, I hope she’s grown up since then, for you.”

“She’s not like that at all now.” I tried to defend her.

“Yeah, give her time. How long have you been dating?”

“Bye Mia” I groaned, and hung up.

I waited impatiently that evening for Nicole to call me. First and foremost, I couldn’t wait to tell her that I had the time off from my classes to visit her the following week. Second, I wanted to ask her about what Mia said. It seemed so out of character for Nicole, I just couldn’t imagine that someone as sweet and caring as Nicole would be a womanizer, or intentionally steal another person’s girl. I absentmindedly cleaned my apartment as I waited for my nightly call.

“Hey baby!” Nicole said, when I answered my phone. My heart jumped when I heard her voice.

“So I have some great news…” I paused, hoping to build up the tension.

“Yeah?”

“Yes, I finally quit Gracie’s!” I tried to sound super excited, like this was my only big news. I bit back a smile, hoping my voice didn’t give it away.

“Oh, that’s great.” Nicole tried to sound equally excited, but I could tell she was hoping for different news.

“AND! I got all my classes off after the Fourth!!” I screamed.

“Yes! I was really hoping that was your good news.” Admitted Nicole. “So can I go ahead and book the flight?”

“Yes, please. Baby, I’m so excited. I’ve already created a mental list of what I want to pack. Actually, that’s something I want to ask you, what should I pack? Do I need to bring anything important? Dressy clothes or something like that?”

“Hold on a minute. Let me book your ticket.” I heard her pause and mumble something under her breath. “I’m trying to pull up Kayak on my phone. Geez, some of these tickets are ridiculously expensive. I know it’s a holiday and last minute, but really, $2,500 just for the plane ticket?”

“Is it too expensive?” I asked, thinking that I could contribute something to the cost as well, but I had just quit my job.

“No, not all the tickets are that bad, but they leave at the worst times. Here’s one that leaves at six in the morning. Do you think Laura would be willing to drive you up to the airport that early?”

I wanted to say a definitive yes, but then we didn’t part on the best of terms on Saturday. I needed to call Laura.

“I can ask her. If not, I wonder how expensive it would be to get an Uber or taxi. I bet I can call and ask the cab company.”

“Yeah, here’s another, it’s a lot less expensive, but also leaves at six. It has a long layover in San Francisco, so it doesn’t get in here until six at night. That’s a long day of travel, but with a long layover, you’ll be less crunched for time if something happens with your first flight.” Nicole continued.

“Good point. I’m sure I can figure out a way to get to the airport. Don’t worry about that, I’ll take care of it.”

“Ok, thanks, sweetie.” Nicole then squealed in delight. “I can’t believe you’re actually coming.”

“I know, me too.”

“Ok do you want me to get this ticket?” 

“Like you even need to ask. OF COURSE!” I called out joyfully. 

Nicole laughed over the line, and we booked the ticket.

“I guess I need to call the Mill to get a room, too.”

“The Mill?”

“It’s the name of a casino here, probably the best hotel in town, but it shouldn’t be too expensive. I mean, it’s not like this is New York. So, it looks like I have to call to book this close to our stay. When we hang up, I’ll call them right away to make sure we can a room.”

“That’s great. Do we need to make any other reservations?”

“This is a really laid back town, so not really. Even the restaurants around here don’t really take reservations. Plus, I just want to spend time with you. Most of the stuff I want to do is all outdoors.”

I thought back to what Laura said to me at the camp site, about not being very outdoorsy.  
“Do you think I’m an outdoor kind of person?” I asked, a little concerned.

“I don’t see why not. Why?”

“Laura said something to me on Saturday, she said I’m not an outdoorsy woman, I’m not like other lesbians.”

“Why would she say that?”

“We went to a cookout at a campsite with a bunch of lesbians. She said I didn’t fit in with them.”

“How did you get invited to that?”

“Remember Mia, she invited Laura and me to it. We only stayed for a short while, but Laura said I didn’t look like all the other lesbians, I wasn’t like them.”

“I love the way you look. You look perfect to me.” Nicole said confidently. 

“Thanks, baby. But does it bother you that I don’t look really gay? What if people assume we’re not together because I don’t look like a lesbian.”

“Who cares what other people think. Where’s this coming from, anyway?”

“I’m just worried that I’m not gay enough for you.”

“Not gay enough!” She laughed. “Baby, the way we’ve been talking the past few nights, I have no doubts that you’re gay enough for me.”

‘Yeah?”

“Of course.”

“Well, in a few days, I’ll be able to prove it.” I smiled slyly.

“You don’t have anything to prove to me. That was something I wanted to talk about. I don’t want you to feel any pressure to do anything when you get here. I know we’ve been talking a lot on the phone, but I still don’t expect you to actually do anything.”

“I know, but I think I’m ready. I mean, I’ll still need your help, but I think I’m ready.”

“Whatever works for you, and I’d be honored to be your teacher.” 

I smiled and bit my lip.

“Oh, that reminds me, apparently you know Mia.”

“I do?”

“Yeah, she said she knew you. Mia Torres?”

“Oh God. Not Mia Torres. Has she tried to claim you yet?” Nicole groaned.

“What?”

“Torres used to go around claiming women, like she could call dibs on them. It drove me crazy.”

“I don’t get it.”

“We used to hang out with the same crowd. We’d go to Bullwinkles and she’d say things like ‘you see her, she’s mine.’ She’d claim the women before they even got in the door. I didn’t like her.”

“She told me that you took one of her women. Stole her away.”

Nicole laughed out loud and I furrowed my brow, confused.

“You know who she’s talking about, right?”

“No.”

“Shea. She’s talking about Shea.”

“Really?”

“Yes, Shea came to Bullwinkles and Mia, of course, claimed her. She said, ‘There’s my future wife,’ or something like that. Well, when I got out on the dance floor, Shea approached me. She asked me to dance. Mia was all upset that Shea didn’t pick her, and I was like, whatever, she chose me. We didn’t talk after that.”

“She paints a very different story.”

“I bet she does. She’s a sore loser. I’m surprised she hasn’t told you that you’re her future wife. You’d totally be her type.”

“Nicole, that’s not very nice. She was the one who yelled at Tony and Dan for me.”

“Ok, I’ll give her credit for that. I’m glad she was there. But still”

“So I should be careful around her?”

“Look, I’m sure she’s fine. She isn’t hitting on you, right?”

“No.”

“Hopefully she’s matured since then…”

“That’s what she said about you.” I tossed out.

Nicole snorted. “That’s rich.”

I laughed, “So, can we talk about what I should pack?”

“Absolutely, oh I did want to bring up one more thing. I told my mom that I might have a friend visiting, I’m not really ready to let her know you’re my girlfriend. I’ve never introduced her to anyone I’ve dated before. So I think I want to take it slow. Is that ok? Will that be too weird for you?”

“Why would that be weird for me?”

“Well, she invited you for dinner on the third and wants to watch the parade with you on the Fourth.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I know this is probably really awkward, but if you aren’t one hundred percent behind this, I’ll tell her you can’t make it.” 

“Uh, what do you think?” With all the things that Nicole told me about her mom, I wasn’t excited about spending a whole bunch of time with her, and some of it on my own. But, I also knew the parents of my friends all loved me. I mean, really, who wouldn’t. So I wondered if I could charm Mrs. Haught, too.

“I think it’s up to you. However you feel most comfortable. It’s not like I’m going to force you to spend time with my mom.”

“I think I can handle it.”

“Yeah?”

“Sure, why not. I’d like to meet her, too. Form my own opinions of her.”

“Just don’t hold your breath for a miracle. I’m sure she’ll be polite, but she’s a formidable attorney here in town. That kinda brings up another point. I’m not super out here, mostly because my mom is a well-known attorney. So I may have to down-play our relationship just while we’re out in public. I don’t want someone to see us making out on a park bench and then tell my mom about it. Is that ok?”

“I think I can handle that.” I considered it for a moment. “Well, on second thought, keeping my hands off of you may be a bit hard. You’ll have to make it up to me back at the hotel.” I bargained. 

“You’ve got yourself a deal.” 

The next two weeks flew by. I was worried that it would crawl along, but I had so much to do to get ready that I almost wished I had more time. But not really, because I also couldn’t stand the wait. Every night, Nicole would tell me stories about the places she wanted me to visit and the people she was going to introduce me to. She also teased me with thoughts of things we could try together. My bag was packed the weekend before I left and I felt like I was a ball of nervous energy buzzing around from activity to activity. I had talked to Laura about the trip, and not about Mia- I still wasn’t sure how I felt about that- and she told me that Mack was coming down for a visit that week, too. He was going to arrive a couple days before I left, and they agreed to drive me up to the airport that Saturday morning. I pushed myself like a crazy person to not only get all my homework done ahead of time, but to start my outlines for the upcoming finals. My goal was to have as much work done before I left, so that I could spend as much of my time with Nicole carefree. 

I planned on using the time inflight to study my outlines and review for finals, but between the 3am wake up call to leave for the airport and the late nights I was putting in both studying and talking to Nicole, when I finally managed to collapse into my window seat on the plane to San Francisco, I fell completely asleep. It wasn’t until the flight attendant woke me up to let me know it was time to land that I realized how exhausted I was. 

The approach into San Francisco was right over the bay. As we came in to land, I could see the Golden Gate Bridge partially obscured by a cloud of fog. I loved seeing the gigantic container ships sitting out in the middle of the water like toys in a huge bathtub. I tried to imagine which exotic ports they came from and where they were headed to next. 

When we landed, I immediately texted Nicole to let her know I was on the west coast. I had a couple hours of layover before my next flight to North Bend, Oregon, so I knew I had some time to kill. Nicole suggested that I try some of the sourdough bread from Boudin’s Bakery in the airport, she said it was a San Francisco favorite. So after deplaning, I made my way over to the food court and found Boudin’s. It didn’t look like much, just another food court shop, but the line was wrapped around some of the tables nearby. I took that as a good sign and joined the queue. When I got to the front, I noticed that they had bread loaves in the shapes of animals. There were turtles, bears, crabs, and even a trolley car. I ordered a teddy bear loaf to carry with me because it was too adorable to pass up, and a veggie avocado sandwich to eat while waiting. Next, I found a coffee shop and ordered a soy latte to help perk me up. 

As I waited for my next flight, I watched the people walking back and forth through the busy terminal. There were parents trying to wear out small children, business travelers who looked like they lived there, young people, old people. I tried to imagine what was bringing them to the airport that day. I saw a small girl carrying a Minnie Mouse backpack that looked to be almost as large as her. She had a princess doll clutched tightly in one hand and the other was holding her Dad’s. I smiled thinking that this could be her first trip to Disney World, or I guess Disneyland, because we were in California. I wondered what people thought I was doing in the airport. How many of them would be shocked to learn I was flying out to visit my girlfriend. We were in San Francisco, so probably not too many. But would they even think it was possible that I was gay. Would they look at me and say, there goes a lesbian. I laughed to myself; again, not many. I was a lesbian in hiding, secretly infiltrating their heterosexual lives. And then when they least expected it, I’d jump out and yell- “Ha, I’m actually gay.” I imagined myself to be a gay superhero, Lady Lesbian- defender of all things queer.

I was lost in my thoughts, imagining my escapades as a caped crusader, when the woman sitting next to me asked me what was so funny. My cheeks burned red as I mumbled back, “nothing.” My alter ego was protected for another day.

The flight to North Bend was only an hour and a half, but it was on a tiny, prop plane. I had another window seat, so I could look out and watch the ocean as we flew up the coast. The engine noise was almost overwhelming, but it kept the gentlemen sitting next to me from trying to keep up our conversation. With every minute that passed, I felt my blood pulse faster, like Nicole and I were magnets drawn together, like we were suns pulled inevitably closer, racing toward our supernova. 

As we landed, we followed the bay in from the ocean to the tiny airport sitting across the bay from a lumber yard. A large container ship was docked at the yard and tall cranes on the ship were lifting and loading large stacks of stripped down trees down into the hold. As we taxied to the terminal, I tried to see where we were going. Out of my window, I could see the bay stretch out and under a bridge that kind of reminded me of the Golden Gate, but smaller and green. Beyond that were tall hills covered with enormous evergreen trees. Houses dotted the hills, but everywhere you looked, it was a dark, rich green. As the plane whipped around in a U-turn, I could finally see the terminal of the airport. The building looked tiny compared to the two other airports I had visited that day. It was an iridescent blue/ green and looked a little like an egg sitting on its side, or a wonky, colorful Airstream camper. I squinted up at the windows lining the building, looking down toward the tarmac. I thought I caught a hint of red hair, but I was too far away to be sure. Suddenly, I felt completely impatient. I hated that I was in row twelve, and that eleven other rows could walk off the plane before me. My leg jumped in my seat. I fidgeted with my backpack, triple checking that I packed up my cellphone and earbuds. How could we only be on row five. The disembarking process seemed like it was taking as long as the flight itself. 

Finally, the plane was unloaded to the point that I could walk off. I stepped down onto the stairs of the plane and the scent of the sea mixed with the pine of the trees swallowed me. It was a scent that I loved deeply and immediately because it meant that I was moments away from seeing Nicole. I looked up at the windows in the terminal, and this time I saw her. Her red hair, her tall stature, her smile stretched across her face, and her hand waving at me. I laughed and waved back. Hefting my backpack and peeling my eyes from the window so that I wouldn’t fall down the stairs, I made my way up through the small waiting area for ticketed passengers, and stepped onto the escalator that carried me up to my love.

She moved so that she was now looking down on me from a window facing the waiting area. I gave her another small wave, but I couldn’t help my smile, there was no containing it. I felt my hands shaking, the escalator seemed to slow as it neared the top. And then I was there, only a door between us that read- no reentry. No worries. 

I jumped into Nicole’s arms and she hugged me forever. I thought I heard a- God, I missed you- whispered in my ear, but I couldn’t think straight. My arms were around her neck. Her hair was in my hands. Her face was pressed against my shoulder. Her hands clutched at my back and held me like I was a life-preserver. We didn’t kiss, we had talked about that ahead of time, being in public and all, but it really didn’t matter. I knew that would come. Right now, every part of me was held by Nicole, by my girlfriend, and that was enough.

After our eternity, we pulled apart slowly. I whispered that I needed to use the bathroom. She led me back to a small hallway as I wiped my eyes and tried to catch my breath. When we reached the door to the women’s room, I wanted to pull her into a stall and kiss her senseless, but I knew how that would look if we were caught. I grabbed her hand briefly, wordlessly, and squeezed it before stepping up to a sink to splash water on my face. 

When I was done in the bathroom, I wrapped my hand around her arm (that was kosher for good friends, right?) and we walked over to the baggage claim area. The belt was already turning and a few bags were starting to appear.

I turned to face Nicole, “How far is it to the hotel?”

She smiled widely at me, “Not far, maybe a twenty minute ride.”

“Good, I got my hug, now I need my kiss.” I whispered into her shoulder.

“I’m all over it, baby.” She whispered back.

 

My bag arrived and we walked out to her car. It was a small, boxy, orange BMW and it looked like it was about twenty years old. 

“Who’s car is this?” I asked.

“It used to be my dad’s, I guess we still think of it that way. My mom didn’t have the heart to let it go. It’s a great car, if a little old fashioned.”

After I climbed in, I laughed when I saw the cassette tape deck. Nicole asked me what was so funny. I pointed at the opening for the tapes. She grinned and gestured with her finger for me to lean in closer. Gladly, I reached across the small divide between our seats and felt Nicole’s lips press gently to mine. I held myself there as long as I was able to hold my breath. I knew we couldn’t do much more right there. I squeezed Nicole’s thigh and told her to get going. 

After checking in to the Mill Casino and Hotel, we found our way to the elevators and rode up on our own to the fourth floor. As we waited for the elevator car to open, Nicole took my hand, finally, and didn’t let it go until we reached our door. She pulled my suitcase into the room behind her and I followed with my backpack. 

As we stepped into the room, Nicole pushed the suitcase out of the way, lifted the backpack from my shoulder and tossed it onto the nearest bed. Then she wrapped her arms around my thighs and lifted me, pinning me to the wall in a hard kiss. I lost my breath and whimpered into her mouth. There was nothing gentle about that kiss. Before when Nicole touched me, it was always soft, teasing, and controlled. This was heavy, powerful, and urgent. I was overwhelmed by her need, her body pressed forcefully against me. For the first time in our relationship, she wasn’t giving, she was taking. I opened myself to let her. 

Her hips rolled into my core, and I groaned against her tongue that tasted me like I was water and she was dehydrated. I gripped her waist with my legs and grabbed her hair in my hands. I pulled in what I hoped was a gentle way, I didn’t want to scalp her. She leaned her head back, mouth still open, her need hanging heavy in her eyes. I said the only thing I could think to say.

“I want you.”

Nicole pressed even harder against me, gripping my mouth with her lips, before twisting with me in her arms, and carrying me to the open bed. She let me down gently, I sat looking up at her long body. She lifted her shirt off in one fluid motion, dropping it to the floor. I started to take off my shirt as well.

“No, I want to do that.” She commanded. Holy shit, that was hot. 

She kicked off her shoes next, shimmied out of her slim cut jeans, and kneeled down in front of me. She pulled me to the edge of the bed so my thighs were parted by her torso. She lifted the edge of my shirt to reveal my stomach and pressed her lips hard against my skin. She dragged her mouth slowly across the plane of my abs. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes. Just then I felt a sharp pain burst through me, I jumped slightly and yelled out.

“Too much?” She asked.

“No,” I said, honestly, “just surprising.”

“Good.” Cocky Nicole would be the death of me.

She lifted my shirt higher, free of my face, but pinning my arms up, over my head. I started to pull my arms free of the shirt, when Nicole stopped me with her hands. 

“No. Not till I say so.” I let out a rough breath. 

She dragged her nails down my sides; I just about jumped out of my skin and let out another groan. Pleasure mixed with tickles. 

Stop, don’t stop- I thought. She smiled at me.

She leaned up and kissed me again, her arms around me, one hand firmly on my lower back, the other pressed between my shoulder blades. 

She pulled back a little and rested her forehead on mine. “Is this ok?”

“Yes,” I whispered back.

“I want to rip your clothes off and tear into you” She rolled her head back and forth across my forehead. “But I don’t want to scare you. Just tell me if this is too much. I promise I’ll stop.”

“Nicole?” I waited for her to look up at me. “I want this too. Just as much as you.”

She smiled again, relieved. 

“But can I put my arms down?”

Nicole laughed, “of course.” She lifted the shirt off of me.

“Will you finish undressing me?” I asked quietly, wrapping my arms back around her neck. I knew she wanted to.

I heard her sigh. 

I watched her eyes, almost lost to desire. 

“Undress me.” I urged. 

Her sigh turned into a growl, “Yes.” 

She stood up and offered her hand to me. I took it and she helped me stand. She pressed her lips to my neck and kissed her way down then back up the other side. I was so distracted by her mouth that I completely missed that she unzipped the back of my skirt, it lay pooled at my feet. She had her hands in the band of my leggings. She knelt back down to roll them off my hips and along my legs. Leaving the leggings at my ankles, she raised her hand again to the band of my underwear. She looked up at me for confirmation. I nodded my head, yes.

Her finger tips disappeared beneath the hem and dragged them down, too. I could feel exactly how wet I was. The underwear clung to me before falling to my ankles, too. Nicole left a gentle kiss on my stomach just below my navel. 

“I want you in bed.” She spoke to my belly.

I sat back and pulled myself toward the pillows. Nicole grabbed the ends of my leggings and underwear and pulled them free of my feet.

She helped me pull the blankets down from under me. We had the whole bed in which to play. I wondered where Nicole planned to begin. 

“Do you want me to leave my bra on?” I asked.

“For now, “ she replied as she climbed in next to me. 

I shuddered in anticipation. 

“Are you warm enough, baby?” She asked as she pressed her length against me.

“Yes,” I waited for her to start. 

With her whole body touching me, I gripped her shoulder in one hand and the back of her head in the other. I guided her up to kiss me again. 

I wanted to feel surrounded by her, lost in her. 

“What do you want first?” she asked.

“I want you inside me, but I want us both naked. I don’t want anything between us.”

“Yes ma’am” 

Nicole reached back to take off her bra, but this was my turn. “Let me.” I said.

Nicole’s smile grew across her whole face. I reached around behind her, keeping my eyes locked on hers. I undid the clasp and the bra fell forward. I took the straps from her shoulders and freed her chest. I looked down and ran a fingertip lightly over one nipple, then circled it. She took in a sharp breath.

I rolled off my back so that she could reach my own clasp. Nicole quickly undid it and pulled the bra off. She imitated the touch I just gave her nipple. Then a wonderful idea hit me. I loved having my nipple teased, but not actually touched. I started to circle Nicole’s nipple with my fingertip softly. She mimicked the touch on my own. I placed my fingers on her chest and ran them down over her breast, again, without touching her nipple, and she complied with mine. Her touch mirroring mine, I could feel the sensation doubled.

 

Then her hand left my breast, it trailed down my stomach and reached my hip. Then it jumped to her hip and started to slip her own underwear down. She lifted her leg and used her foot to push it the rest of the way down.

We were finally there.   
“Do you still want me inside you?”  
Her hand was on my thigh, pressing my legs open.  
“Yes”  
Her nails dragged up and I arched my back.  
“I could slip right in, you’re so wet”  
Fingers in my curls  
“I know.”  
A fingertip broke through the barrier of labia and moisture  
“How full do you want to feel?”  
it circled my entrance  
“Very”  
it pressed in, but only just  
“How much do you want it?”  
another finger lined up  
“With everything”  
they eased in  
“I’ve been thinking about this   
since I met you.”  
pulled back out  
“I want to feel you explode.”  
she plunged in and I lost all sense of time.

It was just what I wanted. She was inside me, her voice was inside me, her smell was inside me. I was completely surrounded by her. She was everywhere. There was no part of me that wasn’t hers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally, I was going to make the Oregon trip one chapter, but it would be a juggernaut. So I’m breaking it up in to delicious bite-sized pieces.


	13. Girlfriends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wayhaught being girlfriends.  
> Super fluffy donuts with smutty sprinkles on top.

Chapter 13  
Girlfriends 

 

I woke up the next morning from a dead sleep. I wasn’t sure if I’ve ever slept so hard. It was five o’clock in the morning and Nicole was cuddled around me as my big spoon. I could feel the brush of her breath playing through my hair at the back of my head. Her arm was draped heavily over my waist and a leg was tangled with mine. 

I worked to extricate myself from her limbs so that I could escape to the bathroom. As I stood, I knew I was going to be a little sore that day. With every step, I could feel Nicole stretching me open. I loved it. I grinned as I went to the bathroom and more as I wiped. Every part of my body told a story of how I was loved by Nicole last night.

My body was still singing.

I climbed back into bed to see that Nicole had rolled away from me. I snuck in next to her warm body and stretched out my chest to press my breasts to her back. I wanted to see if I’d get a reaction, if she was at all awake. 

She hummed sleepily.

I decided to push my luck. I shifted down in the bed and pressed my breasts to her lower back. Slowly, I dragged them up her spine until I reached her neck. She rolled toward me, placing an arm firmly across my lower back to hold me in place. She pressed her face between my breasts, kissing her way from one to the other. 

“Mmmm. Best wake up ever.” Nicole mumbled while kissing the middle of my chest.

“I’m glad you think so, because I have some unfinished business with you.”

“Oh, what’s that?” She cracked one eye open to look at me.

“My turn.” I whispered, running my hands through her hair. 

“Your turn? Didn’t you get that last night?”

“No, it was pretty much all your turn.” I loosely braided a corner of her hair.

I could feel Nicole smile between my breasts and press in deeper.

“Oh yeah. I forgot.”

“Baby, if you’re tired, I can just practice on you until you’re ready to wake up for real.” I lifted the braid in the air and let it fall back lightly to her head.

“You want to practice on me?”

“Uh huh.” I answered lightly.

“How would that work?”

“You could lie down on your back and catch up on your sleep while I explore your body.”

“You want me asleep?”

“Yep. You don’t really need to be awake for this. It’s just practice.”

“Ok.” Nicole pulled her head from between my breasts and looked up at me. “You want me on my back?”

“That’s right.” I purred, brushing her hair from her forehead.

Nicole turned to lie down on her back. I snuggled in next to her, resting my head on her chest.

“Let me know if this feels good.” I whispered. I ran my fingertip from the middle of her chest down to her navel. 

“I thought I was supposed to be asleep.”

“smarty pants”

I pushed the tips of my fingers farther down, through the red curls at her pubic mound. I redirected my fingers at the last moment to drag them down her open inner thigh. I remembered how it made me jump to feel that last night. A shudder shook Nicole. Goosebumps erupted under my touch. I felt her chest rise and fall a little faster.  
Nicole placed her arm around my waist and gripped my side. 

“Are you still sleeping?” I asked softly.

“Yes, keep going,” she whispered back. “Definitely not awake.”

“Good, because I’d hate for you to get a preview of what I plan on doing with you tonight.”

“I have to wait until tonight?”

I laughed and tapped at her stomach. “Shush, go back to sleep.”

“M’ok”

I dropped my hand back to where it was on Nicole’s inner thigh. I lightly, very lightly, pulled my fingertips up to the crease where her leg and hip met. She instinctively opened her legs wider for me, and her heart began jumping under my cheek. I drew my finger over her sex without pressing down, just touching. Nicole let out a deep breath. I used two fingers to spread her open a bit more, and her grip on my side tightened. 

“I want to look at you.” I quietly announced before scooting down between her legs.

“Baby?” Nicole pouted, “I want you up here.”

“I just want to see you.”

“It feels weird.”

“You were looking at me last night.” I reminded her.

“I was tasting you last…Fuck”

I cut her off with my tongue brushing against her clit.

“There. I’m tasting you, too. Now shush.”

I opened her up with my fingers to study her folds. I had no idea that a woman could be so beautiful. I always felt like my sex was ugly and a little shameful. But lying there between her exquisite thighs, I saw how much like a flower a woman’s sex was. I pressed a kiss to her clit, then slipped my tongue out for short taste.

“Baby” I heard her groan. I tried another taste and this time her hips pressed back. I pushed forward, pressing my tongue to her in a series of beats.

Nicole grabbed a handful of my hair and massaged the back of my head.

I tried to find a rhythm, Kiss, press, press, press. Kiss, press, press, press.

I pulled back and chuckled, looking up at Nicole.

“Wha?” She opened her eyes back up when I stopped. 

“You know what I’m thinking about?” I said, brushing my thumb absently through her folds.  
“I have no idea.” She groaned.

“That Justin Bieber song, Beauty and a Beat.” I laughed lightly and brought my mouth back down to play out the beat again.

“Please don’t say that name while you’re going down on me, I don’t ever want to associate him with anything sexy.”

“I could sing it for you, if you want.” I smiled devilishly.

“No!”

I started to hum as I licked. “Body rock, I can feel your body rock.” I sang gently.

“Fuck, now it’s going to be in my head. Thanks a lot, you just ruined sex for me.”

I laughed out loud, gave her clit one more quick kiss before crawling back up her body to lie down on top and kiss her.

After cleaning up, we left the hotel to find something to eat on the way to the beach. We both wore our bikinis under our clothes. I originally tried to put on a pair of cut off jean shorts, remembering that night in the car, but Nicole warned me that the temperature wasn’t likely to get above eighty degrees and the beach could be windy or foggy.

“There’s somewhere I want to take you on our way over to the beach, I know we could both use a coffee after last night and this morning,” Nicole took my hand that was resting on her thigh and squeezed it. “It’s the best coffee shop ever and it’s a drive-thru.” 

We pulled up to a little hut that had two drive-thru windows, one for cars going in each direction. There was a large, blue and white windmill next to the road that had Dutch Bros. Coffee painted across it. The building had white walls with a matching blue trim and roof.   
Nicole pulled into their driveway and got in line behind another car. 

“They have the best espresso drinks. You can get any of them made with soy or almond milk. They also have good teas.” 

I looked over the menu, it was playfully labeled and the espresso drinks all had cute names. I decided to try an Almond Joy, a mocha made with almond and coconut syrups, with almond milk. Nicole chose a Double Torture, a white chocolate mocha with two extra shots of espresso added. 

When we pulled up to the window, a young man in faded blue jeans and a Dutch Bros t-shirt took our order. He joked around with us as he prepared our drinks. When he was ready to take our payment, he asked us where we were headed. Nicole mentioned that this was my first time in town and she was taking me to check out Surfer’s Beach. 

“Ah, good choice. Although, I saw the surf report this morning, the waves aren’t supposed to be big today, so I bet hardly anyone will be down at the beach.”

“I know, but it’s the prettiest beach here in town, so we can just hang out and watch for whales.”

When Nicole told me earlier that there wouldn’t be many people at the beach, I was really surprised. My only beach experience was at Hilton Head as a child on vacation. The beach there was crowded, loud, and dirty. 

I leaned across Nicole to talk to the young man. “She was telling me that nobody hangs out at the beach here, is that true?”

“Yeah, usually it’s too windy and cold. The water is freezing, so you need a wetsuit to even get in. We like hanging out there, but we don’t spend all of our time just sitting on the sand like at other beaches.”

I smiled and shook my head in disbelief. 

Nicole pulled away from the shop and I nudged her with my shoulder. “So he was chipper.”

“Yeah, they’re all like that. They hire only hip, happy, young people who can chat you up while they make your drinks. It’s like the Disneyland of coffee shops.”

“Is that why you like it so much. You get chatted up when you go there?” I asked teasingly.

“Partly.” She winked back at me. “But try you’re drink. They’re amazing. I love the Almond Joy, by the way. Probably my second favorite.”

I tried the drink and it was good. And really sweet. I could taste the coconut and almond distinctly, and the drink felt thick on my tongue.

“God, I’m glad they don’t have these back at home, I would constantly be getting them.”  
“I know how you feel. It’s one of the things I actually look forward to when I come home. Usually, I stop on my way home from the airport. It’s the first thing I do.”

“You mean it’s not fucking your girlfriend?” I asked, thinking back to my own arrival.

“You’re a special exception.”

 

I smiled and looked out the window. We had left the more urbanized part of Coos Bay and were heading into a forested area. I couldn’t believe how dense the evergreen trees were out there. I figured that we had to be getting closer to the ocean, but it looked like we were in the middle of the woods. Every now and then, I caught a glimpse of the bay through the trees. There were short docks lined with small, white fishing boats. Most of them had long arms sticking up on either side of the boat like a referee holding his arms up after a successful field goal. 

“What are those boats for?” I pointed down at the dock.

“Those are crabbers. We get Dungeness crabs here, they’re the best. If you ate meat, I’d take you out for some.”

“How are they different from regular crabs?”

“Well, they’re huge, for one, and really sweet. We used to get them for Christmas dinner. My mom makes the best crab salad. It’s sweet and sour, and a little peppery.”

“You know, I think that’s the first nice thing I’ve heard you say about your mom.”

Nicole laughed, “Yeah, I guess I’m pretty hard on her. She’s actually been ok this summer. Of course, we aren’t really spending a whole lot of time together.”

“Has she bugged you about wanting to be a police officer?”

“No. I’ve been really surprised. I thought that would be her game for the summer, but she hasn’t said a word.”

“I’m glad, sweetie.”

“Yeah, me too.”

I looked back out the window and watched the trees and small houses roll by.

 

We were in the middle of a densely wooded area when Nicole said we were almost there. She turned down a small, gravel road that had a Dead End sign above the street marker. We were completely surrounded by trees and it was far more dark out, hidden from the sun. There was a bare patch of earth next to the road, and Nicole pulled off to park on it. I opened the car door and was struck once again by that curious mixture of sea air and pine smell. It made me think of the blue and green, painted globes in every elementary classroom. The air smelled both blue and green. 

Nicole grabbed a reusable grocery bag from the footwell behind her seat. In it, there was a stack of towels. 

“Are you ready?” She held out her hand to me.

“When did you pack that up?” I asked, realizing I hadn’t noticed it before.

“I threw it in here yesterday before coming to get you. I knew I wanted to take you to the beach today, if possible. So I threw it in, just in case, so we wouldn’t have to stop by my house on the way.”

“Look at you, Ms. Planner.” I smiled and squeezed her hand. “Show me the way.”

I followed Nicole deeper into the woods, there was just a narrow foot path. I couldn’t believe we were so close to the ocean. I heard the sounds of waves crashing, but I couldn’t see even a hint of water. Overhead, two large crows sat perched on a bare branch and cawed down at us. Above them, I saw a turkey vulture circling close by. Oregon felt wild and untamed, compared to Hilton Head. Just then, I realized that I hadn’t seen any signs for the beach: no clearly marked walking paths, no store fronts with beach junk piled in the windows, no ice cream shops or t-shirt stands, no trash cans and litter, no seas of people milling about. We were literally out in the woods, and somewhere, nearby based on the sound of the waves, was the ocean. It took my breath away, and we weren’t even there yet.

The trees started to thin and I could see we were approaching a cliff edge. Beyond that, finally, was the ocean. It was wide and gray; a few small white-caps were littered across the surface. The sky held an enormous band of clouds that seemed to roll in from the ocean. The cliff edge truly was a cliff; we stood about fifty feet above the actual beach. I could see the start of a path down along the side of the cliff with a thick rope secured by metal brackets into the rock of the cliff face. Nicole took one step down onto he path and turned to look back at me. She watched me like I was opening a long awaited Christmas present. I scanned the horizon and all I could see was ocean, cliff wall, forest, and sand. I stood opened mouthed, trying take it all in. 

“What do you think?” She asked, barely above a whisper.

“Amazing.”

“Yeah?” Her smile grew wider.

“Stunning.” I drew in a deep breath. I couldn’t fathom growing up here, surrounded by so much beauty. “How did you ever leave this to go to college?”

“Actually, we never spent that much time at the beach growing up. A little, but not all the time. I guess I took it for granted. Plus, I was ready to leave. This is a really small town. Too suffocating.” 

I understood what she meant, but I also felt like I couldn’t breathe deeply enough to take in what was before me. I wanted to throw my arms open wide and soak it all in.

“This is incredible. And no one is here.” I whispered.

“I told you.” Nicole winked and held out her hand to me again.

 

We navigated our way down the rocky path. It was a little steep in places, or at least it felt that way to my shorter legs. I held the rope railing and marveled that surfers were able to make the climb with a surf board in hand. Once we hit the sand, I looked back out at the ocean again. This time I felt so much smaller. I was surrounded on three side by cliff walls and the ocean on the fourth. What had looked like logs from the top of the cliff, turned out to be large trunks of trees, one almost as tall as I was. They were stripped down by the ocean waves and heavily splintered. There were also a few craggy outcroppings of rocks pushing up through the sand and disappearing into the waves. 

Nicole dropped her bag and ran down to the closest rock mound. She stooped down and began poking at something. I watched her for a second before walking down to join her. As I stepped closer, I noticed that there were bright green and purple sea anemones in the tiny tide pools surrounding the edge of the rocks. Nicole poked one and it shriveled up into itself. 

“I used to love doing this when I was a kid.” 

She ran her hand lightly over a large patch of smaller anemones and they closed up in a wave behind her hand. After a few seconds, the anemones tentatively opened back up. I also noticed several large orange starfish clinging to the sides of the rocks. I placed a finger along the leg of one and was surprised to feel it give a little, I’d never thought of starfish as being pliant at all. It felt a little like a slightly squishy rock. The starfish slowly dragged its leg away from my finger. 

Nicole stood up, quickly glanced around her shoulder to make sure nobody was on the beach, then leaned over and kissed me. I stepped into her kiss, opened my mouth to invite her in, and shivered as she wrapped her arms around me. This was too beautiful, too perfect. I never wanted to leave.

When we finally pulled apart, Nicole suggested that we take off our shoes and roll up our pants to walk along the surf line of the beach. We tossed our shoes next to the bag of towels and I decided to strip down to my bikini bottoms, so that my pants wouldn’t get wet. I left my sweater on because of the breeze, but the wind on my legs felt thrilling, rather than painful. 

“Are you sure you’ll be warm enough?” Asked Nicole. She was trying very hard not to stare at my legs. 

“I think so, it feels kinda nice.” I started to walk down to the surf, shaking my butt at Nicole. She ran up next to me and took my hand with a squeeze. 

When we reached the water’s edge, the tiny remains of a wave rolled over my feet and I shrieked and jumped back out of the water. 

“Man, that’s cold!” I yelled.

“I know, it’s freezing even in the middle of summer.” She pointed up at the sky. “It’s probably only seventy five degrees out right now. But even on a warm, sunny day, the water may only be fifty six degrees.”

“Yikes. So how do you stand it?” I asked, pointing at her feet still in the water.

“I’m used to it. Once my feet go numb, I won’t even notice it.”

“You’re waiting for your feet to go numb? You’re crazy. I’m not doing that.”

“Here,” she stepped out of the surf and kneeled down in the sand. “Hop on my back and I’ll carry you.”

A huge smile burst across my cheeks as I gladly hugged her neck. She stood a little shakily.  
“Sorry, old softball injury.”

“Are you sure you can handle me?” I whispered in her ear, wrapping my legs around her waist.

“I don’t know, I think I was handling you pretty well last night.” She smirked and put her arms under my hips.

I gripped her with my legs and planted a kiss on her neck. “Yes, you did.”

 

Nicole carried me down the beach; it floored me that there were no other people around. We had the entire beach to ourselves. When we reached the far cliff wall boxing off Surfer’s Beach, Nicole let me go so I could slip back down onto the ground. We slowly walked back to our towels in the warm sand above the water line. When we reached our belongings, Nicole grabbed a large beach towel and flipped it out on the sand. She grabbed another one to use as a blanket when we sat down. I climbed onto the towel and stripped down to my bikini top, Nicole took off her clothes, too, revealing her bathing suit. Then she climbed in behind me, so that I sat between her legs. She wrapped her arms around my middle, pulling me tight against her, then draped the towel over all of our legs. 

“I’m still baffled by all of this beauty. I’ve never seen anything like it before.” I whispered, not wanting to spoil the moment. The cool breeze felt exhilarating with Nicole’s warm body against my back and the towel over our legs. I raised my hands to loosen the knot of my bikini top from around my neck.

“What are you doing?” asked Nicole.

“Nothing” I let the strings hang down over my chest, the top still covering my breasts.

“Baby, what if someone shows up?”

“There’s nobody here. Who’s going to see?”

“Just because there’s nobody here now, doesn’t mean that someone can’t show up later.”

“I guess you’ll just have to be my bra.” I said, innocently, as I pulled down my top and untied it in the back, exposing my breasts to the wind. 

Nicole groaned behind me and lifted her hands to cover me up.

“I love being your bra.” She said, nuzzling a few kisses onto my neck. “Won’t you get cold?”

“Not with you hugging me.” I leaned back into Nicole’s front. 

“Have I ever told you that you have perfect breasts?”

“Once or twice.” I paused, “last night.” I said sarcastically.

“Well, you do.” She dropped her hands back down into my lap, exposing me again to the air.   
It felt so thrilling to be topless on the beach. 

“God, you’re sexy.” Nicole whispered as she kissed my ear. “Is it ok if I touch you.”

I turned my head back so that I could kiss her. “Yes.”

One hand climbed up to my breasts again, while her other hand slid down, under the towel and under my bottoms.

“You are so wet” 

“Because of you. I think I’ve been wet since I stepped foot on that airplane to come see you.”

Nicole hugged me closer, and ran a fingertip over my clit in small circles. I opened my legs wider for her. 

Nicole looked over at the rocky path down to the beach to make sure nobody was approaching. “If someone shows up, we’ll need to get your top back on quickly.”

“Uh huh” was all I could manage. Nicole’s pace sped up and I could feel myself growing closer to the edge. 

“And if someone does show up, I’ll need to stop.” 

“Don’t you dare.” I gripped her thighs in my hands.

“Unless you want people to watch.”

I groaned out, just the thought of someone sneaking down the path and watching Nicole touch me ramped up my arousal to the breaking point. “Please don’t stop.”

“Wow, I never pegged you as an exhibitionist.” She slowed her finger down to a crawl to drag out the time before my orgasm. Then she pulled her hand out completely.

“Baby, please.” I whimpered.

“Just imagine if there were a bunch of surfers out in the ocean right now.” 

God, I love her voice, but I really needed her finger back.

“They would be facing the ocean and not us. But at anytime they could turn around and see my hand moving under the towel. They’d know exactly what I was doing to you. I’d have my arm across you breasts, hiding them from view, but maybe I’d let it slip a couple times. Would that excite you? Knowing the surfers could look back and see your beautiful breasts, my hand down your bottoms, circling you, getting you off.”

“Nicole!” I pushed my hips up, desperate for some contact.

“I think it does excite you.” She purred.

“Yes” I whimpered out.

She tossed off the towel and spread my legs as far apart as she could. Then with one hand, she pulled the crotch of the bikini bottom off to one side, revealing my center to the air, and with her other hand, she went back to circling my clit. 

I was so exposed, and yet I felt so safe in Nicole’s arms. 

“I love touching you; I love feeling you so wet; I love hearing you cry out when you come; I love knowing you’re all mine.” She crooned as she circled me.

Yes, yes, and yes- I thought, but all I could do was moan. My back arched up as she drove me closer. Please don’t let someone show up, please don’t give her a reason to stop.

“I can feel how close you are, my little exhibitionist.” Nicole whispered in my ear. “I want to make you come right here on the beach.”

I groaned out, grabbing her legs even tighter.

“Will you come for me, baby?”

I groaned louder. I swear she could talk me into an orgasm.

“Show me” she commanded. 

“Oh God!” I roared out as I stormed over the threshold. 

 

I was snuggled up in her arms, when we heard some noises from the top of the cliff. I quickly pulled on my sweater, and stuffed my bikini top into the bag of towels. We sat up and watched to path to see if someone was climbing down. After several minutes, the voices disappeared, and we were alone again on the beach. I started to pull my sweater back off, when Nicole stopped me.

“Why don’t you leave it on for now. Just in case whoever was up there decides to come back.”

“You don’t want them to see me half naked?” I asked, innocently.

“No.” 

“Well, how about this, you help me put my top back on” I said, lifting the sweater off, “and I’ll keep the sweater within reach.”

“You drive a hard bargain.” Nicole said, as she reached into the bag.

We spent another hour on the beach, looking for shells and watching a tugboat lead a container ship out to sea. By that point, we were both really hungry, so we packed up our things and made our way back to her car. After pulling the car around and heading back down the road, I look over at Nicole. Her easy smile from the beach had faded somewhat, and she was nervously tapping her fingers on the steering wheel.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“I want to take you to my favorite cafe in town, but the owner is really good friends with my mom.” She quickly glanced over at me. “I know we talked about this before you flew out, but are you ok with just pretending we’re friends while out in public?”

“I think so. I guess I’m a little confused, though. Your mom already knows that you’re gay, right?”

Nicole nodded her head slowly. “She does. I told her a while ago, but she had such a bad reaction to it. I’m worried that if she finds out you’re my girlfriend, she’ll turn that anger on you.” She placed her hand over mine that was resting on her thigh and gave it a gentle squeeze. “I want her to get to know you, give her a chance to like you first.”

“Well, it may be hard to keep my hands off of you, but I think I can manage.” I smiled at her. “Besides, this is your hometown, not mine. I trust you.”

“Thanks. I don’t want to hurt your feelings by introducing you as a friend, when you’re so much more than that to me.”

“I get it, Nicole.” I sat up all prim and proper, and put both hands in my own lap. “No more calling you baby, no more stealing kisses, no more running my fingertips up your thigh…”

“Well, we aren’t there yet.”

“Until we get back to the hotel.” 

“I know this is awkward, and I wish it didn’t have to be this way, but I really think there’s a better chance that she’ll like you if she doesn’t know we’re together.”

“I’ll be on my best behavior, I promise.” I held up my right hand. “But until then…” I placed my hand back on her thigh and gave it a gentle squeeze. 

 

When we got back into town, Nicole parked in a large lot behind Main Street. We walked over to Monica’s Cafe which was located a couple blocks away. I didn’t want to admit it, but it did feel a little weird that we weren’t holding hands. I shook off the thought as we entered Monica’s. The cafe was super cute inside. There were fresh flowers on every table, and antique cooking tools decorating the two book shelves on the far wall. The walls themselves were painted a very soft pink with darker green trim. In the back was a glass display case that held several cakes and different types of bread. 

The petite, middle aged brunette standing behind the counter looked up at us when the door chime rang. She greeted Nicole by name with a warm smile.

“Hi Monica, This is Waverly.” She introduced me. “She’s a friend from college out to visit for a few days. Waves, this is Monica.”

Monica smiled at me and held out her hand. I shook it tentatively. Nicole mentioned that Monica was good friends with Nicole’s mom, so I wasn’t sure what to expect from her.

“Any friend of Nicole’s is a friend of mine.” She gave me a friendly wink. “What can I do for you ladies?”

“Well, Waverly is vegan and I know you have the best veggie sandwich in town.”  
Monica nodded her head.

“And I want my usual turkey avocado sandwich.”

“Ok, and Waverly, what do you want on your sandwich? I have lettuce, spinach, tomatoes, sprouts, cucumbers, and sweet onions.”

“Can I get one with everything?”

“Sure. Usually when I make it, I also put on some cream cheese and a cranberry- strawberry compote. I know you don’t want the cream cheese, but would you like the compote? It gives it a sweet and tangy flavor.”

“That sounds lovely. Thank you.”

I offered to pay for lunch, since Nicole got breakfast, and then we sat down at a small table next to the front window as we waited for Monica to make our sandwiches.

“So, how did I do, pretending to be straight.”

Nicole laughed. “You did great.”

“Does Monica know you’re gay?” I leaned over and whispered.

“I doubt it. I haven’t told her, and I can’t imagine my mom doing it.”

“That must be really weird to be out at school, but not at home. Do you ever catch yourself slipping up?”

“Usually not. This is the longest I’ve stayed here since I graduated from high school, so I don’t give myself much of an opportunity to slip up.”

I nodded my head.

“But sometimes I wish I could brag about having the smartest, sexiest, most brave and beautiful girlfriend ever.” Nicole spoke softly and brushed her foot against mine.

“No way, you’re dating Kat Barrell?” Nicole glared at me and I couldn’t help but laugh at her.

“Don’t make me come over there and kiss you.” She teased. Just then, Nicole cleared her throat and sat up in her chair.

“Here you go, ladies.” Monica said as she stepped up to our table, food in hand. “Nicole, is your mom going to be joining you?”

“No, just us today. I think she’s in Florence working on a case before the holiday.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen your mom take a holiday.” Monica chuckled to herself. “Give her my regards.”

“I will, thanks Monica.”

“She seems really nice.” I said as she walked back behind the counter.

“She is.”

“So, not everyone here is awful.”

“No, not everyone. But it’s still a small town. A little too small for me.”

 

We finished our lunch and headed back out to walk around the town. We stopped in briefly at the local surf shop. Nicole was hoping to introduce me to her friend Bryan, one of the few people in town to whom she was out. Unfortunately, he wasn’t working that day, so instead she had me try on a full wetsuit. When I emerged from the changing room, Nicole tried so hard not to laugh at me.

“I look like a crazy penguin, don’t I.”

“No, baby,” just then her eyes popped out and she bit her lips. So much for not slipping up. 

“No Waves. You look like a real surfer.” Then she stepped up close to me to adjust my hoodie and whispered in my ear, “only you could make a wetsuit look good.”

“I think I’ll need some help taking it off, though.” I offered.

“I’d love to help.”

After giving Nicole the most rubbery strip tease ever, we left the surf shop to check out more of Main Street. We walked by an original 1924 Egyptian Theater, that had cobras for door handles and hieroglyphs painted on the walls. Inside, we could see two giant, twelve foot tall pharaoh statues on either side of the lobby. 

“Can we come back and see a movie here?” I asked.

“Sure. Let’s check the schedule. They only show older movies here, and they were going through the Harry Potter films earlier this summer.” Nicole looked over the schedule board. “Looks like tonight is the Order of the Phoenix. Would you like to see that tonight?”

“That sounds like a lot fun, plus I want to see the inside of the theater.”

“Whatever you want.” Nicole smiled down and completely melted me. What I really wanted at that moment was to lean up on my toes and kiss her right in the middle of the sidewalk on Main Street. Fucking small town.

We spent the rest of the afternoon wandering around Coos Bay. She showed me her high school, and where she played softball. We visited the library and walked past the hospital where her father passed away. It felt like every block held a memory for her, every shop was another story from her childhood. I loved being invited into this world of hers, I just wished I could hold her hand, show her some affection.

As five o’clock rolled around, I could feel myself start to fade. The time change was working against me and I was really hungry. Nicole suggested that we try out her favorite restaurant, 7 Devils Brewery. It was only a block from where we parked, so we headed back in that direction.

The building was huge and a warm, sunflower yellow with a terra-cotta red map of Coos Bay painted on the front. When we entered the restaurant, I saw that about half the building was taken up by giant silver containers of what I imagined was beer, since this was a brewery. The rest of the space was divided into two rooms. The first room held the bar and a handful of tables and booths. The second room was more open. There were only tables in the second room, and most of those had bee pushed back to make room in the middle for a circle of chairs. The first room was empty but for a group of middle aged couples. The second room had at least a couple dozen people milling around. There were instruments propped up on all the free surfaces, and everyone seemed to be talking to each other like they were lifelong friends. An older woman approached us and asked if we were here to see the singers. Nicole looked down at me and shrugged.

“This is my first time here, so what do you recommend?” I asked.

“Oh, honey, go watch the singers. They’re a hoot. They get drunk and play Irish folk songs all night.”

“Lead the way,” I responded.

She showed us to a small table that was right behind one of the chairs circled in the middle of the room. Most of the people there looked to be in their sixties, but there were a handful of younger people, too. An older gentleman with a shaved head and snowy white mustache and beard walked over to us.

“Are you Skip Haught’s daughter?” He asked. He had a twinkle of a smile in his eyes.

“Yes sir, I’m Nicole.” She held out her hand to the man.

“I knew your daddy. He was a good man, taken too soon.”

“Thanks,” she replied with a quick smile.

“Pete O’Connor, this is my rag tag band.” He gestured around the room. “I hope you can stay for some of the music. We just fart around and have a good time. If you have any requests, just let me know.”

“Sure, and this is my friend, Waverly.” I gave him my signature smile and a wave.

“Waverly, now isn’t that a beautiful name for a beautiful lady.” He winked at me, and walked back to his friends.

The same woman who showed us to our table was also our waitress. She handed us our menus and took our drink order. I told Nicole that I wasn’t interested in drinking that night. I was afraid that if I had even one drink, I’d be passed out on the table within minutes. This way she could have some beer and I would be able to drive us back to the hotel. 

We pushed our chairs around to the same side of the table so that we could both watch the band comfortably. We were close enough to hold hands, if we could, but not close enough to touch each other without really trying. When the band took their seats, the younger man siting across the circle from us winked at me before bringing his oboe to his mouth.

After the music started, I leaned in closer to Nicole and whispered in her ear, “I think that guy just hit on me.” I tried to subtly gesture at him with my head.

“I can’t blame him. But don’t worry, I’ll protect you, baby.” 

“Oh yeah, you and which closet?” I asked sarcastically.

“Ouch.”

“What I want to do is shut him down by kissing you.” I gave her my doe-eyed look. “It’s been too long since I’ve kissed you.”

“I know, we don’t have to stay here long.”

Our food arrived quickly and we enjoyed our dinner with the Irish music serenade. I recognized some of the music from my childhood, but when they started to play “Red is the Rose,” I jumped up and clapped. After realizing that I was the only one standing and clapping, I quickly sat back down a little embarrassed. I started to sing softly behind the band, and I noticed Pete watching me. He gestured for me to come join him in the circle. I stood up, squeezed Nicole’s shoulder as I passed behind her seat, and walked over to Pete. He patted the empty chair next to him, so I sat down and sang along with the band. When the song ended, we got a roaring round of applause, and the band took a break. I saw Nicole whistling and laughing. As I stood to walk back to Nicole, the younger man approached me.

“You have a beautiful voice, you should sing with us more often.”

“Oh, I’m from out of town, just here visiting Nicole.” I looked back at my girlfriend, who was still sitting at our table, but watching us.

“That’s too bad. Are there any other songs you’d like to hear? They don’t have to be the old-timey songs.” 

“Nope, I think I’m good.” I nodded at him and walked back to Nicole.

“What did he say to you?” She asked.

“He wants me to sing with the band.”

“Of course he does. You have a beautiful voice.” Nicole smiled at me. “What else did he say?”

“He was wondering if I had any song requests.”

“Huh,” Nicole looked over at him. 

“What’s going through your brain right now?” I asked. “I didn’t mean it before about you needing to protect me. I just wanted an excuse to kiss you.”

“I know.” Her voice was high and flippant. “I’m going to use the restroom, I’ll be right back.”

As Nicole walked to the back hallway, I saw the young guy walking that way too. I pleaded in my head with Nicole to just leave it alone. 

It was several minutes before she returned, and the guy came out just after her. 

“Is everything ok?” I asked, looking her up and down for any signs of a fight.

“Yep, it’s all good.” She said a little too quickly.

“Nicole.” I started to ask, but was cut off by the young man announcing that he had a special request. 

He motioned for Nicole to join him. I was completely surprised as I watched Nicole stand next to the guy as he began to play. Instantly, I knew which song she had requested, and my jaw hit the floor as she began to sing Ed Sheeran’s “Perfect.”

Her voice was silky and dark and reached across the room to touch me everywhere. And here I thought her speaking voice was sexy. I made a mental note to get her singing more often. 

When they finished their duet, Nicole walked back to me without breaking eye contact. As she got closer, my smile got wider and I felt my whole body pulled to her. 

“I told you it was ok.” She spoke into my ear.

I still had my mouth hanging open. 

Just then, our waitress walked by and nudged my shoulder. “Go on and kiss her already.”

I whipped my head around to look at the waitress. She had a kind but knowing smile. 

“We’re not together.” I tried to quickly explain.

“You could have fooled me.” And she walked away.

I looked over at Nicole, and she was trying to bite back her grin.

Finally, she asked, “Are you ready to head out?”

“Yes, but we still need to pay.”

“Already done.” She answered. Very smooth, Nicole.

 

When we got back to her car, I took advantage of the quiet and relatively private moment to lean across and kiss her. 

“Thank you for our song.” I whispered.

“Did you like it?”

“I loved it. In fact, I want to hear it again.” I brushed my lips to hers.

“When?” She spoke into my mouth.

“Right now, as I drive you back to our hotel room, where I plan on showing you just how much I loved it.”

“So you want to skip the movie tonight?” She asked.

I opened my mouth and ran my tongue lightly against hers. “What movie.” I could feel Nicole start to smile.

“Perfect, coming right up.” She smirked, then sat back in her seat and sang.


	14. Meeting Mom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The honeymoon continues...
> 
> Then we meet mom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yet again, another smut warning.
> 
> What can I say, I’m a fan of morning sex.

Chapter 14  
Meeting Mom

 

“Are you awake?” I whispered, and pressed my nose in between Nicole’s smooth shoulder blades. The whispy ends of her hair tickled my forehead. 

Nicole murmured and rolled onto her back. I shifted in the bed and encouraged her to continuing rolling until she was pressed up against my side, arm draped over my stomach. 

The room was still dark, so I knew it must be early. I couldn’t see the clock, but I was still on east coast time, and that meant I was three hours ahead of everyone else. I ran a hand back through Nicole’s messy hair and she nuzzled deeper into my side. I didn’t want to wake her, I knew it must be early, but I couldn’t help but touch her, remind myself that she was real, this wasn’t just a dream. I pressed a light kiss to her forehead and listened to the sound of her breath choreographed with the rise and fall of her chest. There was something so inescapably tangible about feeling her breathing, her heart beat, the twitch of her finger against my side. I didn’t even know I missed it when we were separated. I pulled her in tight against me. Her hand gripped my side, and I saw a smile sleepily spread across her cheek. All I could do was hold her; nothing felt as important as this. 

“Everything ok?” A groggy whisper pulled me out of my head.

“I was missing you.” I spoke into her brow.

“I’m right here, baby. I’m not going anywhere.”

I smiled at this. “I know. I was missing you from earlier this summer.”

“Well, I can’t do anything about that.” She rubbed her nose into my side and pushed some of my hair back with her free hand. She placed her hand down on the outer swell of my breast and casually ran her thumb back and forth just under my nipple. 

“You’re already doing exactly what I need.” I pressed another soft kiss on her hairline, and she squeezed my side. “So last night, you weren’t worried about that guy hitting on me?”

“No.”

“Why not?” Champ would have talked to the guy.

Nicole lifted her head to look up at me. “Because I knew all I had to do was something stupidly romantic, and you’d look at me the way you do. Everyone would know you’re mine.” Her brown eyes melted through me.

“I love you.” I smiled at her. She was right.

“I love you too, baby.” She pushed herself up a bit and kissed me. “Now, can I go back to sleep?”

I laughed at her. “Way to break a moment, Haught.” I said sarcastically, and pressed her head back down onto my chest. 

“Aw, I’m sorry.” Her free hand ran down my side, over my hip and along the outside of my thigh. “Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?” Now her hand changed direction and traveled up the top of my thigh, fingers lightly tracing my hipbone and caused my stomach to clench as she drew a large, slow circle around it. 

She had me turned on so quickly, it actually hurt.

“Don’t start something you aren’t awake enough to finish.” I warned her, my body wasn’t joking around. How can she do this to me so easily? Take me from light and causal to a tightly wound mess in seconds. 

“I wouldn’t think of it.” Her voice was darker, sultry, and seeped into my skin. 

Her hand traveled up and down my body. She pulled herself up on top, between my legs, one hand resting on the top of my head, thumb stroking my forehead. She kissed me like she was welcoming me home. With her other hand, she gently opened my legs and sank in. Unlike the other times, which felt unrestrained and almost desperate, this was different. She was slow, purposeful, and above all, caring. She watched me, between kisses, without speaking, and all I could do was wrap my hands around her neck and allow her to take control of me.

 

That day, Nicole wanted to show me Sea Lion Caves, before taking me home to meet her mom. We stopped by the grocery on the way out of town to pick up supplies for both breakfast and a picnic lunch on the beach. The drive up to the cave was about two hours. The winding, two-lane road mostly followed the coast. It was a leg of the famous Highway 101 that runs along the coast from the southern tip of California all the way up into Canada. 

As we entered Florence, the next town up the coast from Coos Bay, I spotted another Dutch Brothers and asked to stop. 

“Caught the bug, huh?” She smiled at me.

“I want to try another flavor.”

“Which one are you interested in this time?”

“I want to try the Flap Jack.” I grinned over at her.

“The Flap Jack? I haven’t heard of that one.”

“I was researching their menu online. It has salted caramel, vanilla, and white chocolate.”

“Wow, you’re going to be flying on sugar. I thought I might go with the Nutty Irishman, in honor of last night.”

“What’s that one?”

“Irish cream and hazelnut.”

“Oh,” I groaned. “That sounds really good, too.”

“We could always share.”

“And share germs with you, I don’t think so.” I winked at her when she turned to laugh at me.

“Baby, you’re too much.” She said as she pulled up to the shop.

 

With drinks in hand and sugar in our veins, we continued our trek north to see the sea lions. I made a joke about the number of RVs on the road and Nicole told me that nearly every house in Coos Bay had a dedicated spot for RV parking. 

“Sometimes the RV garage is larger than the house itself.”

“What?” I questioned.

“Seriously, watch for houses, you’ll see. I guarantee that at least half of the next ten houses we pass will have RV parking.”

“Why?”

“It’s a thing. I don’t know.” She laughed. 

“Did you ever have an RV?”

“No, my mom wouldn’t allow it. My dad wanted to try it out, drive up the coast into Canada and camp along the way, but my mom said that we would be stuck only seeing the sites that had parking for RVs. Then my dad got sick and it was a mute point.”

“I’m sorry. Have you ever thought about doing it yourself?”

“Some day. I thought it might be fun, see all the national parks around here. Or drive up into Alaska. Nowadays you can rent an RV, so you don’t have the risk of buying one.”

“Baby,” I put my hand on her thigh and squeezed it. “If you want to take me on an RV trip around the west coast on our honeymoon, I’ll do it.”

“Aw, how romantic.” She smirked.

“If the RV is a-rockin, don’t come a-knockin.”

“Just how hick do you think I am?” She asked.

“Well, maybe not hick, but how about cowboy.”

“Cowboy?” She laughed and shook her head. “You’d like it if I was a little bit cowboy?”

“Maybe. Why?”

“Oh, never mind. So, you’re already planning out a honeymoon?” She looked over at me.

“I think it would be fun to see the world with you.”

 

A short time later, we pulled into the parking lot for Sea Lion Caves. We left most of our stuff in the car, but Nicole grabbed our sweatshirts. I didn’t understand why, since it was so sunny, until we stepped out of the car. The wind whipped around us. We quickly dashed across the street and into the small, single story building that appeared to be perched on the side of a very steep cliff. 

The building was actually a large gift store full of trinkets and junk. We bought our tickets and headed out the back to the overlooks and viewing platforms off the rear of the building. We walked down a short path that leaned out over the cliff edge and down toward the opening to the cave itself. About seventy feet below us were a handful of rocks that jutted out of the ocean near the cave entrance. On the rocks were about ten sea lions that were larger than seals, dark brown, and had huge fore and rear flippers. In order to move on land, they could push themselves up and “walk” on their flippers. These sea lions were lazing about, scratching their heads with their flippers, or rolling about and barking at each other. 

“Oh my God, they’re so cute!” I leaned over the railing, and Nicole instinctively grabbed the back of my sweatshirt. “And they bark. They’re like giant cuddly fish dogs.” 

Nicole laughed. “Fish dogs?”

“Yes, they’re fish dogs, they’re adorable. Cute little snouts and rolly-polly bodies, like a puppy, but with flippers.” I grinned at her. “Fish dogs.”

“I guess that’s no different than sea lions.”

“See. I think fish dogs works better because they bark. Oh sweetie,” I looked back down at the sea lions, “can we bring home a fish dog. I think we should totally have a pet fish dog.”

“Just wait until we go down into the cave. Then tell me how much you want a fish dog.”

“Why?” I asked, suspiciously.

“You’ll see, let’s head over to the elevator.”

When we emerged at the bottom of the cliff inside the cave, I knew exactly why the sea lions weren’t quite so cute. The smell from the cave was overwhelming. It was a poop rotting with dead fish mixture that was so far beyond gross. 

“Ok, I take back what I said about our fish dog. He can stay here. Man, that’s some stink.” I said, pinching my nose.

“I know, I haven’t been here in years and that’s the one thing I remember clearly from the last visit.”

We sat and watched the sea lions for a while, mostly they were sleeping on the rocks. Every now and then, one would roll its body back into the waves pushed in through the cave. Eventually, we took the elevator back up to the gift shop and I let Nicole know I wanted to use the restroom before leaving.

When I got back, Nicole was holding a small brown, plushy sea lion and had a huge grin across her face.

“For you, my dear.” She said, holding out the plush.

“Aw, it so cute and not stinky! It’s the perfect fish dog.” I laughed, hugging the stuffed animal. I leaned in close to Nicole and whispered, “Is it ok if I kiss you here, or are we still just friends?”

“I think we’re far enough away from home for a kiss.” Her smile twinkled in her eyes.

“Good,” and I hopped up on my toes to steal a quick kiss. “Thank you for the fish dog. I love it.”

As we walked back to the car, I slipped an arm around Nicole’s waist to hug her to me, and she brought her arm over to hold my shoulder. 

“So what’s the next stop?” I asked.

“There’s a public beach at the Heceta Head Lighthouse just up the road. That’s a good place for a picnic. Are you hungry?”

“Not terribly.” I could still smell the lingering scent of the cave and it killed off what little appetite I had.

“We can also just hang out on the beach for a bit, walk up to see the lighthouse and then start to head back. There are a lot of places we can stop for a picnic on our way back to town.”

“So, will this be an empty beach, too?” I asked lightly.

Nicole laughed and blushed. “Probably not. It’s more of a touristy stop, with parking and bathrooms.” She glanced over at me.

“Too bad.” I said, opening the car door, trying to hide my grin.

A few minutes later, we pulled into the beach parking lot at Heceta Head. It was a small point sticking out from the coast of Oregon, which is why they put a lighthouse on it. From the ocean, there was about twenty yards of beach before the hillside abruptly rose up into a steep, vine-covered cliff. This beach was longer than Surfer’s Beach, but was also cut off on either end by the hill dropping off into a cliff falling away directly into the ocean. The waves crashed upon the rocks jutting up out of the water where the cliff met the sea. Large sprays of mist would shoot up into the air causing temporary rainbows when the sunlight caught it just right. The day was sunnier than yesterday, less clouds, but more wind. Nicole led me out onto the sand and we walked down to the water’s edge. Here, the waves rolled gently up onto the beach because they were broken by the line of rocks out in the ocean. Nicole spotted a sea lion swimming in the protected waters. There were a couple families with small children playing in the shallow water and working on sand castle nearby. There was also a large, black dog running around, chasing a stick thrown into the waves, and happily bringing it back out to his owner. 

Nicole and I walked over to a log that had been washed up onto the dry sand. She sat with her back against the log, and I climbed in between her long legs. I rested my head against her chest as she intertwined our fingers and brought our hands to rest on my stomach. 

I was watching the dog hopping through the waves, when I felt Nicole kiss the side of my head. I couldn’t stop the smile that spread across my face. I leaned back to look up at her.

“Have you ever thought about getting a dog, like a real dog, not a fish dog?”

Nicole hummed and hugged me a little tighter. “I guess I always saw myself as a cat person, but I like dogs, too. Did you have pets growing up?”

“No.” I stopped. A chill of panic hit me as I realized that I had never talked about my childhood with Nicole. It wasn’t something that I enjoyed talking about and usually tried to avoid, but here I was immersing myself in Nicole’s childhood and it seemed unfair to shut down questions about my own.

“No, I didn’t have pets. I was raised by my aunt and uncle, they were always really busy and said they didn’t have time for more animals running around the house.” I cleared my throat and tried to sound light and humorous. “I tried to sneak in a pet mouse that I trapped in the garage once when I was eight; I kept it in a tea pot and named it Tinker Bell. But my aunt made me let it go in the back yard when she found it.” So, that didn’t sound as funny out loud. “Did you have pets?” I played with her fingers.

“I had a cat when I was little, I got her as a birthday present when I was ten. I had to promise to take care of her, feed her, change the litter box, you know… A few months later, we found out she had cancer, that wasn’t long before my dad got sick. We ended up having to put her to sleep. So when my dad was diagnosed, I totally lost it. I thought we were going to put him to sleep just like my cat.”

I pulled her arms tightly around me. “I’m sorry, sweetie. That must have been so hard.”

“Yeah. I really liked that cat, too. I picked her out because she had red hair like mine.”

“Tell me about your dad.” I looked out at one of the little families on the beach. It was a mother and father with a toddling little girl in a bright pink, ruffled bathing suit. Her diapered bum was covered in dark sand. I imagined that it was Nicole with her parents at a happier time.

“Well, he worked for the Coos Bay Water Authority. He was a chemical engineer. He loved to build things, so for Christmas every year, we would design and build bird houses for my grandparents. And he loved the ocean, that’s why they moved to Oregon when my parents got married. He used to talk about wanting to learn how to surf.”

“Did he learn?” I asked quietly.

“No, he said he was too old to start, but he loved to watch the surfers when there were high surf days and we had time to go out to the beach.” 

“Did you go to Surfer’s Beach as a kid?”

“Yes, sometimes. But the waves there were usually too big to really play in as a kid, so we’d go to other beaches that were more protected.”

“Like this one?”

“Like this one. Maybe once a year, we’d come up here, or if we had someone in to visit, we’d bring them up here. Show them Sea Lion Caves and have a picnic.”

“So that’s where you got the idea for today?”

Nicole chuckled. “I guess. What do you think so far?”

“I love it. I feel like I’m looking into your past, seeing who you were as a child.” I rolled my head to the side and Nicole braced me against her chest.

“So, who were you as a child?” She kissed the top of my head.

I sat watching the small waves creep up over the smooth sand at the water line. A small twig was pushed and pulled, up and back, with the each new wave rolling over it. I thought about Nicole’s question and there didn’t seem to be an easy answer. I felt like I was constantly changing to fit in wherever I found myself: as a young girl with Daddy, living with Aunt Gus and Uncle Curtis, then as Champ’s girlfriend in high school and college. I was a chameleon, adapting to whoever I was around. The only thing that felt genuine was school. I was good at it, it made sense, and didn’t change. I could learn a language and that knowledge didn’t disappear, the history didn’t change. 

“It’s ok if you don’t want to talk about it.” She whispered.

I shifted around so that I was hugging her and pressed my nose into her chest.

“You know what?” I asked.

“What, baby?” She brought her hands to my back and lightly raked her fingertips up and down.

“I haven’t thought once about whether or not I’m gay since I’ve been here. Not a single thought. I mean, I’ve been thinking about it back at home all the time. Like, what should I call myself, am I bi or gay? Should I tell people, who should I tell? That sort of thing. But here, with you, I haven’t even thought about it. It’s like I don’t need to. It’s just you and me and that makes sense. I don’t need to define it or shape it. It just is.” I paused for a moment and felt Nicole hug me.

“That’s great.”

“Yeah, it is.” I took a deep breath, held it for a moment, then slowly released it. “You want to know who I was as a child, and honestly, I was whatever the people around me needed me to be. I didn’t have the luxury of figuring out who I was, there was always one more hurdle to get over before I could do that.” I curled my fingers in her shirt. “You know, when you first left for the summer, Laura thought I was disappearing into our relationship, that I was losing myself. But, I think in reality, I’ve been finding myself. Finding something that is just for me, just about me, and not anyone else.” I buried my face in her chest. “And God, that scared me. When we first met, that terrified me.”

“I scared you?” She asked concerned, her hands held me tighter.

“Yes, you did. Because it was so easy. I didn’t have to think about it at all, and yet I wanted it so much. When we were studying together and I freaked out, I wanted to be with you. I wanted to crawl right over your couch and kiss you, and that scared me. It felt so selfish.”

“Well selfishly, I would have welcomed that. You were so gorgeous in that dress, I couldn’t keep my eyes off of you. It was hard to study with you sitting next to me.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes, and when you were cold, you grabbed my hands to warm up yours. It took every ounce of self-control not to just pull you into me and hold you like I am right now.” She squeezed me to her. 

God, it felt so good now, but if she had done that back when we first were studying together, I think my head would have exploded.

“What would you have done on that day, if I did crawl over and kiss you on your couch?”

“Probably the same thing I do now when you kiss me.”

“Which is?”

“Feel like I’ve died and gone to heaven.”

My blush grew faster than my smile. I turned around to face her completely and sat straddling her hips. “Say hello to heaven for me.” And I leaned in to kiss her.

 

We decided to have our picnic a little later at the Oregon Dunes National Park. Nicole described a cute viewpoint that overlooked the wide dunes as well as the ocean that was close to Florence. We jumped back in her car and started the drive south. 

I told Nicole that I was happy to drive back, since she drove all the way up. It was warmer out now, so I braided my hair and we rolled down the windows. Nicole tried out a radio station and they were playing Maroon 5’s “Animals.” We sang with the wind rolling through the car; we waved goodbye to Sea Lion Caves and barked like fish dogs as we passed it; we looked for houses with RV parking; and Nicole ran her hand up my thigh as I drove. I felt so beautiful and free.

We were almost back to Florence when we got caught in a long line of cars stuck behind a log truck. The two lane road wove through the hillside that snaked along the coast, and that made it hard to get around the long, slow truck. We were more inland at that point and Nicole was watching the tall pine trees and small lakes roll by. 

“So what do you think your mom is making for dinner?” I decided to broach the subject of her mom. I was hours away from meeting her and had no idea what to expect. 

Nicole turned to face me. “She knows you’re vegan, but I didn’t ask what she’s making. I know she’ll want to impress you. That’s how my mom works. Dress to impress, do everything to impress. It’s her way of staying in control.”

“So your mom is a bit of a control freak?”

“You could say that.” She grimaced.

“Is there anything I should do or say?”

“No, just be yourself. She might ask you a bunch of questions. That’s the lawyer in her, but don’t feel like you need to tell her anything you aren’t comfortable with.”

I was wondering what type of grilling to expect, what would be the thing she wanted to know about me. “I feel like I’m getting ready to go to court.”

“I don’t think it will be that bad. And if it is, we’ll leave and hide away in your hotel room.”

“Our hotel room.” I corrected. 

Nicole smiled at that. “Our hotel room.”

“You don’t think she’ll be a little suspicious that you keep spending the night with me?”

“I told her that we’re going out drinking and that it was easier to stay with you, since you have two beds in the room. I’m doing my part to not drink and drive.”

“I love how responsible you are. What a good role model for the next generation.” I said with confidence.

“I’m not sure how the next generation would feel about what I’m really doing with you in that hotel room.”

A grin grew across my face, “Baby, the next generation should be taking notes.”

 

We eventually arrived at the Oregon Dunes National Park visitor entrance, just south of Florence. This was the picnic spot that Nicole thought would be nice. The sky was perfectly clear at this point and the sun beat down on us as we pulled out our supplies. We stripped down to our t-shirts and put on our flip flops for the dune. It was a large, flat-topped hill of sand that stretch out in front of the ocean for miles in either direction. I felt like I had just stepped onto the set of Tatooine for Star Wars. The sand was wonderfully warm as it slipped around my sandals, and was perfectly smooth as it curled around in my toes. We found a nice level spot on top of the dune overlooking the ocean. Nicole unfurled the beach towel and we set up our lunch.

“What do you think it will be like when you come back home?” I asked as I took a bite out of my apple. 

“You mean at the end of the summer?” She looked over at me.

“Yeah, do you think it will be like this, having lunch together, but on campus? Hanging out together?” I looked out at the ocean.

“I hope so. I mean it won’t be exactly like this. But I hope we’ll find time to have lunch together, maybe meet up in between classes.”

“I’ve never thought about how Laura and Mack did it. I was just wondering if they met up for lunch or were they too busy. I know they tried to eat dinner together, but was that the only time they saw each other?” I looked at Nicole, the sun shining on her face, her eyes reflecting back a warm caramel color. “I don’t want the only time I see you to be at night. But I know we’re both going to be busy.”

“How did it work with you and Champ?” She asked.

“Champ,” I shrugged. “He wasn’t a student, he just moved to stay close to me, so I only saw him at night, but that was enough.” I chuckled. “He wanted to move in with me, but I wouldn’t allow him. I knew if he moved in, I’d never get any studying done. And school felt so much more important than him.” I looked down at my apple. “I only stayed with him because that’s what I thought I should do. I never felt like I had much of a reason to stay or go, it was just momentum keeping me there.”

“How did it end?”

“I saw what Laura and Mack had, and I wanted that too.”

“And that wasn’t with Champ.”

“No,” I laughed. “One day I accidentally confessed to Laura that I wasn’t very attracted to Champ. She started asking all about that; what did I mean, who am I attracted to.” I paused to take another bite. After I swallowed, I continued. “That was the first time I really stopped to think about what I wanted. And it just tumbled out of my mouth: I think I’m bi.”

“What did Laura say?”

“She didn’t really say anything, at first. Then she asked me if I was attracted to a particular woman and I said no. She asked if I was ever attracted to a woman, and I said that I thought some of my female professors were beautiful, but I didn’t think I was attracted to them. More that I wished I could be them.”

“Uh huh. So why did you think you were bi?”

“Because I wasn’t really attracted to men, and what’s left?”

“Women were a consolation prize?” Nicole asked, confused.

“No, it’s more that women were untested. I’d been with a guy and it wasn’t working for me, so I wondered if women would.”

“So you’ve never been attracted to a woman before me?” She looked really surprised.

“Well…” I hesitated.

“Who?” Nicole insisted.

“Ellen Degeneres.” I squinted back at her.

Nicole nodded her head. “Not a bad choice.”

“I watched the ‘Puppy Episode’ a few years ago and I thought she was so beautiful, but at the time I rationalized that it was just because she was so brave. But now I think she was my first crush.” I bit my lips. “Who was your first crush?”

“A girl on my eighth grade travel softball team. Her name was Missy. She had long blond hair and was so girly, it hurt. She was so nice and would laugh at my stupid jokes and always told me what a good player I was. I just ate it up. I always tried to impress her when I got to bat. I wanted her to have a reason to compliment me.”

“So is she why you became a softball star?”

“Sort of. We only played together that year, then she moved away. I guess I played for the idea of her.”

“Did you ever see her again?”

Nicole shook her head and took a bite of her sandwich. 

“Do you think she was gay?” I asked.

“No.” She chewed her sandwich. “I think she was just being nice.”

“Did you think I was gay when you met me?”

“Mack told me that he wanted me to meet you, when he invited me to the party. As soon as I saw you, I knew he was insane if he thought you would be attracted to me.”

“So you didn’t think I was gay?”

“No, it’s not that, it wasn’t that I thought you were or weren’t gay. I just knew I couldn’t be that lucky.”

“Aw, baby. You’re breaking my heart.” I said, remembering the look on her face when I first met her.

“I still can’t believe I’m this lucky.” She leaned over and kissed me firmly on my lips. I take it back, she wasn’t breaking my heart, she was burning it alive.

“When we get home, we’re going to make this work? Right?” I asked in between kisses.

“I certainly hope so.” She continued to kiss me, pushing me back. “But I have to admit, now that I have you, I’m feeling kinda greedy.” She shifted her hips around the lunch items.

“What do you want from me?” I asked, lying down on the towel. Nicole perched above me with the biggest smile on her face.

“Everything.”

 

The drive back to town was a slow slog. We got trapped behind another log truck. Nicole joked that it was probably the same log truck from before, considering how slow it was going. But we inched our way back into Coos Bay and made a beeline for the hotel. We both wanted to take a few minutes to rest and clean up before heading over to Nicole’s house to meet her mom.

When we finally got back to the hotel room, Nicole flopped back on the bed.

“It’s so nice to be out of the car.” She said with a sigh, placing her arm over her eyes.

I climbed up on the bed and crawled slowly up her legs. Nicole started to smile.   
I leaned down, lifted her shirt, and kissed her stomach just above the hem of her jeans. Nicole hummed. Sitting back, I unbuttoned the top of her jeans. 

“What are you doing?” She asked, her eyes still covered by her arm.

I pulled her zipper down slowly. “What does it feel like I’m doing?”

“It feels like you’re trying to undress me.”

“I am trying to undress you, part of you.” Nicole tensed.

I pulled her jeans down over her hips and kissed the hollow of each hipbone. 

“Baby, are you sure?” She asked, not even sure herself of what I wanted to do with her.

I pulled her pants down to her knees, carrying her panties with them. “Yes, I’m sure.”

Nicole groaned out a little and a shudder caused her stomach to jump. I pulled off her clothes and tossed them on the floor.

“Open your legs.” I told her.

Another shudder ran through her. “Baby,” she pleaded, but slowly opened her legs. Her sex was bright pink and glistening. She started to lift her arm off her eyes.

“No, keep your eyes covered.” I said, and climbed in between her legs. She left her arm in place, and spread her legs a little wider. It was such a tempting offer, but I wanted to take my time with her, like she did this morning with me. 

I placed my lips just above her knee and slowly trailed a line of kisses up the inside of her thigh. As I got closer to her sex, her legs began to shake.

“Relax, baby.” I crooned, and then pulled my lips across the perfect skin at her groin. 

“You don’t need to…” She started to say, but I cut her off by pressing my mouth to her clit and running my tongue firmly down. She whimpered out.

I lifted my head and sat back to crawl the rest of the way up her body. When I reached her head, Nicole let her arm fall away from her face. Her eyes were pleading with me.

“I don’t need to?” I asked. I grinned down before letting her taste herself on my lips. “Your eyes are telling me a different story, baby.” I kissed her cheek, lightly, then whispered in her ear. “Your eyes are saying I DO need to.” I heard her moan in reply. 

I straddled one of her legs and propped my head up on my elbow to watch her. I brought my free hand up to her clit and slowly circled her just the way she did for me. Her eyes shut as I touched her, and she moaned out again. 

After about a minute, I asked, “So, are you saying you’d be fine if I just stopped?” I paused my fingers.

With her eyes still clamped shut, she breathed out, “please don’t stop.” I smiled and started my fingers back up. This time I pressed down a little harder, testing it out. Nicole’s eyes shot open and looked at me. Her mouth hung open and her breath was heavy. 

“That’s what I thought. You don’t really want me to stop.”

Her brow furrowed as she pleaded under her breath, “please don’t stop.”

“You do need me.” I spoke before kissing her ear.

“GOD I need you,” exploded out of her mouth as she arched her back. I have never seen anything so sexy as her body pulled tight as a bow. I tried to stay focused, as my own hips involuntarily pushed down into her thigh.

“I need you, too.” I pressed my mouth to hers, and she gripped the back of my head hard with one hand. I pulled back, “I need to touch you.” I spoke into her lips. “I need to feel you come.”

With my fingers hungrily circling her clit, I could show no mercy, no restraint. I pressed hard into her. She threw open her legs and then literately melted under me. 

 

We were both asleep, our bodies wrapped together in the darkened hotel room. Nicole was the first to stir. I felt her sit up.

“Oh crap! Baby, we have to get up. We’re supposed to meet my mom in forty minutes.” 

I felt the electric pulse of panic hit me, and shot up out of bed. “What happened?”

“We fell asleep, sweetie, but we have to get up. Do you want a shower still?”

I leveled a hard look at Nicole. “I’m not meeting your uptight mother for the first time with your come on my face.” 

Nicole choked on her laugh. “Yeah, good point. We should have enough time that we can shower together, if…” She gripped my overly excited face in her palms, “we’re good. No distractions.”

No promises, I thought.

We were good, after agreeing that we would come back and revisit the shower later. We quickly got dressed and ready to leave. The longest part was drying my hair. But we made it and we even managed to have five minutes to spare. 

I nervously pulled at my summer weight sweater and skirt combination in the car on the way over. I hoped to look nice, but not too dressed up. This was supposed to be a casual dinner, but I remembered what Nicole said about her mom always dressing to impress. I left my hair down for the night, hoping for a softer appearance. I was here to win her over, not do battle, I hoped. 

When we arrived at their house, I was really surprised. I imagined the house being her mom’s fortress, some sort of glamorous lawyer cave. But it was just a regular house. It was a split level home, with a one car garage and a basketball hoop on the side of the driveway. Nicole pointed out that the elongated driveway that looked to be extended for the basketball hoop, was actually long enough for an RV. The half of the house that had the main entry was a red and black brick, while the second half of the house was sided with white paneling and black shutters. There was a large maple tree in the front yard and a small garden just under the front window. There was a sleek, black Lexus parked before the basketball hoop and Nicole pulled her dad’s car into the open garage. 

We walked out of the garage, around to the front walkway, and up to the front door. Nicole knocked once before opening the front door and stepping into her home. I stepped in behind Nicole into a wide living room that held a long, black, leather couch opposite the window and a small, tan leather, swiveling chair across from it. Over the couch was a huge, dramatic, abstract painting. On the far wall was a fireplace, and over it was a wooden, relief landscape of the ocean that looked like a puzzle.

There was a large opening in the wall in front of us that led to the kitchen and stairwell. I could hear Nicole’s mom in the kitchen. She quickly apologized for not being ready, and then I heard her walking toward us. She stepped out into the the opening to the living room and my breath caught. 

She was gorgeous. 

She was at least as tall as Nicole, taller in her simple, two-inch, black pumps, and just as slender. She wore a knee-length, black pencil skirt, and a silky, print button down blouse with flared collar and cuffs. Her hair was long and auburn red, a little darker than her daughter’s, with flecks of gray. It fell to her breasts in soft curls, and her eyes were green behind a pair of intelligent, black frames. 

She walked over to me and held out a thin, long-fingered hand. “My apologies, I just got home from work. I’m Tabitha.” Her grip was firm and confident. I hoped my own was equivalent. 

“Waverly, It’s nice to meet you.” I didn’t know what else to say, I was so floored by her elegance.

“Mom,” Nicole spoke up. “I didn’t tell you, but Waverly is fluent in French.”

Tabitha smiled and greeted me again, this time in French. Her voice was just as beautiful as she was, and lower than Nicole’s. She sounded a little like Kathleen Turner.

I responded back in French, complimenting her clothing. 

“How lovely,” she switched back to English. “I wish you would teach my daughter some French, she was never interested in learning it from me.” 

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Nicole tense up. This sounded like a long-standing battle. Before Nicole had a chance to respond, I jumped in.

“I did work with her on Latin. When she was studying her legal vocabulary, we worked on it together. Most of it was Latin.”

“Are you pre-law, too?” She asked, genuinely interested.

“Ah, no. I’m studying ancient languages and cultures.” 

“Really, that sounds fascinating. I want to hear more about that, but I really need to change before I get dinner going.” She turned around to walk up the stairs. “Nicole, darling. Why don’t you show Waverly around while I get changed, and then I thought we could eat out on the back porch.”

“Will do.” Nicole looked down at me and smiled as her mom stepped out of sight behind the stairway. “Do you want to see my bedroom?” There was a curious twinkle in her eye that I didn’t understand.

“Of course.”

 

Nicole showed me to her room. It was opposite her mom’s room on the landing. When Nicole opened her door, I laughed as I instantly realized what her look was about. Nicole’s room was decorated from top to bottom in everything cowgirl. There was a horse bedspread on her bed; light pink, horseshoe and lasso adorned wall-paper on the walls; a framed, pencil drawing of a horse above her bed, and on the top shelf of her bookcase was a row of miniature, plastic horses. 

“Baby…” I stopped and corrected myself. “Nicole, you didn’t tell me you were this into horses!” I giggled. 

“Well, you said you wanted a cowboy.” She teased back.

I walked over to her desk and picked up a black and white, well worn plush horse. “Yes, I did. But wow!” I turned to her, and held up the plush. “Who’s this?”

Nicole laughed gently, “That’s Blackie, after ‘The Black Stallion.’ So I should explain,” she gestured around the room. “I was allowed to choose how to decorate my room when I was eight. I was really into horses back then…”

“You don’t say.” I smirked.

“Smart-ass, and yes, I do say. I never got around to changing it after that, so it stayed this way.” 

I placed her stuffed animal back down on the desk and walked up to her. I glanced quickly at the doorway, then wrapped my arms around her middle, and kissed her lightly on the lips. “It explains a lot.” 

Nicole lightly shoved me away. “Great. And here I thought my cowboy was going to impress you.”

I grabbed the crotch of her pants and pulled her close. “Your cowboy has already impressed me.” Her face quickly flushed bright red.

“Girls!” We heard a call from the other bedroom across the hall and jumped to face the door. “I’m sorry, ladies. I’m ready to pull dinner together. Would you like to help or see more of the house?” 

Nicole and I let out a collective deep breath. “We’ll be right down to help, Mom.” Nicole called back. She turned to face me and whispered, “You be good.” 

 

We joined her mom in the kitchen. She was now dressed in capri jeans, red sandals and a dark blue button-down, sleeveless shirt. 

“Tabitha, I love your shirt.” I said, as I walked to the other side of the kitchen island.

“Thank you, it’s Banana Republic. I can’t buy anything around here, so I have to order everything online.”

“Oh yes, it’s the curse of the small town. I grew up in a small town and I had to order everything, too.” I agreed. “What are you making?”

Tabitha was tossing pasta in a large bowl with a number of ingredients. She looked up from the bowl and smiled. “This is a family favorite. I’ve adapted it to make it vegan, basically leaving out the goat cheese, but it should still be very tasty. It’s a cold Mediterranean pasta dish, with olive oil, garlic, tomatoes, basil and salt and pepper.”

I watched her toss the pasta again, I could smell the garlic and basil. “It looks delicious.”

“It is,” Nicole chimed in. “It’s one of my favorites. Do you need help setting the table?”

“Actually, why don’t you take Waverly downstairs and let her pick out a white wine for tonight. You do drink wine, right, Waverly?”

“Ah, sure. Honestly, I don’t know that much about it, so if you have something in mind, I’m sure I’ll be happy with whatever you pick.”

Tabitha smiled at me. “Try a Pinot Grigio, it’s a light, summery wine. I think it will go well.”

Nicole escorted me to the basement that was largely a great room set up as an entertainment center. There was another long, black leather couch before a huge TV and media cabinet.   
Next to the couch stood two full refrigerator-sized wine coolers. One for red and the other for white. We walked up to the wine fridge and were about to open it when I saw an open door in the back wall. The room looked a little dirty and chaotic compared to the rest of the house. The floor was bare cement and there was a tool bench along the back wall. I walked over and poked my head inside.

“That’s my dad’s tool room.” Nicole stepped up behind me, and place her hand on my shoulder. “That’s where we used to build our bird houses. We’d start to plan them out in October and try to make them really fancy. We’d talk about what we wanted to do with them throughout the year. I’d make crazy, complicated drawings of elaborate bird houses I wanted to build and my dad would just go along and point out how we needed to design them to include those features. Sometimes, we’d use cardboard to create a model. We had so much fun designing those houses.” She squeezed my shoulder. “It even still smells like it used to. Like WD-40 and metal.” 

I stepped inside, and I could smell the oil and rust. The walls were lined with shelves and there were tubes and pails haphazardly stacked on the shelves, with bottles of glue and old paints. I could almost feel the ghosts of a young Nicole and her father working together on the bird houses. It gave me a chill; I was standing in the middle of a memory.

“We should probably pick out the wine.” Nicole said gently. I turned and followed her back out into the great room.

With white wine in hand, we walked back into the kitchen. Nicole’s mom was fixing a salad for each of us, the pasta stood ready in the large bowl. There was a stack of plates and utensils next to the pasta on the counter. Nicole offered to set the table outside. I stood back and watched the magic happen. 

“Would you mind slicing the bread?” Tabitha pointed at a loaf sitting on a cutting board. I walked over and picked up the bread knife next to the board. When I placed my hand on the loaf, I realized that it was still warm. 

“Did you bake this?” I asked, incredulous. The knife easily sliced through the soft bread.

“No, there’s a wonderful bakery just off of Main Street called Monica’s. I love her breads.”

“Nicole and I ate lunch there yesterday. I had the veggie sandwich and it was delicious.” 

“Oh. I love her veggie sandwich, but I guess you don’t get it with the cream cheese. It’s too bad, the cream cheese makes the sandwich. I’m in there once a week at least. She made this loaf fresh for me this evening.” 

“She seems really sweet. You know, she asked about you when we went in, wondered if you were going to join us.”

“Monica is a real sweetheart and a wonderful baker. I’m glad you stopped in and met her.” She smiled warmly at me. “It looks like we’re ready. Can you get the bread and I’ll get the pasta.” 

We each picked up our food and walked out onto the back porch. It was a simple concrete pad with a long, black metal table and six chairs around it. The backyard was shallow and ended at a wooden fence. Behind the fence was the beginning of a forested area. The tall trees cast a long shadow that covered the table and kept us from sitting in the direct, evening sun. 

Nicole had the table set and her mom sent her back in to grab the salad plates. I offered to help and followed her back inside the kitchen. Once back inside, I picked up the wine bottle and glasses.

“Your mom seems really nice so far.” I looked over at Nicole, who was trying to balance all three salad plates in her long fingers.

“I’m glad she’s behaving. You know, you don’t have to agree with everything she says.”

“I’m not agreeing with everything.” I was suddenly worried that I had somehow misread her mom. 

“You’re complimenting her on everything.”

“I’m being nice, and I really do like her clothes.” I admitted. I stood back for a moment and watched Nicole with her plates. “Are you worried that I’m going to like her?” I asked quizzically.

“No.” Her reply sounded a little whiny. 

“Baby, are you afraid I’m going to like your mom more than you?” I tried to hide my smile.

She huffed out a deep breath and rolled her eyes at me.

“Oh my God, you are!” I said gleefully.

“No, I’m not.” She stalked out. I giggled as I followed behind her.

Once dinner was served and the wine poured, we sat back and enjoyed the meal. Well, at least Tabitha and I did. Nicole stayed very quiet during dinner and watched to two of us.

Tabitha asked about what we did over the last couple days. I mentioned visiting the beach, walking around Coos Bay and ending up at 7 Devils for dinner. 

“That reminds me,” I looked over at Nicole for verification, and then back at Tabitha “We met a gentleman there who knew your husband. Pete O’Connor?”

“Oh my goodness, Pete O’Connor. I haven’t seen him in ages. How is he?”

“Well, he seems to be doing great. He plays a mean guitar and has a wonderful voice. He was playing with his Irish band at the brewery.”

Nicole nodded her head as she spun her wine glass around. I noticed that she wasn’t drinking the wine. 

“He even invited me to sing with them.” I added.

“You sing?” Tabitha asked sweetly.

“Only a little, just for myself.” I smiled back. “Nicole sang, too”

Tabitha turned to look at her daughter. “You sang?” She looked genuinely surprised. “I haven’t heard you sing in forever.”

Nicole’s face was bright red. “Yeah, I guess I had a few too many beers that night. Crashed at the hotel.” 

“Just as long as you aren’t drinking as much as old Pete.” Tabitha continued. “Your father used to spend time with him at the bar, and Pete would get him going about surfing. I never understood that. What would a middle-aged man be thinking, wanting to learn how to surf.” She said, shaking her head. “It’s so dangerous.”

Nicole spoke up. “I think he just liked to think about it, imagine that he could do it, Mom. It’s not like he was actually surfing.”

“I know, but when your father set his mind to something, he’d usually find a way. You remember all those crazy bird houses you used to talk about. He’d stay up late trying to figure out a way to really build them, rather than going to sleep.” She looked over at me. “I had to be the voice of reason and make him go to bed so he could function at work the next day.”

“I loved building those houses.” Nicole tossed out, a little hurt.

“Oh he loved building them with you. You two would be locked up in that tool dungeon for hours building. I would just sit upstairs and hope nether of you cut off a finger.” She paused for a moment. “Now I have to worry about you getting shot.” Tabitha continued.

“Mom!” Nicole sat up straight, and the mood at the table completely changed.

“Well, honey, it’s true. You want to be a police officer, who do you think I hear about on the news getting shot. It’s a dangerous way to make a living.” She turned to me. “Waverly, wouldn’t you be worried if someone you loved was a police officer?”

I looked between Nicole and her mom. Now I was the one caught in the crossfire. I actually agreed with her mom, but I knew Nicole would think that was a betrayal if I said that out loud. I tried to go with both.

“I think you’re right, Tabitha. There are inherent risks with being an officer, but that only makes the decision to become one that much more brave. I think Nicole will be great officer, she has so much self-control and awareness. But she’s also caring and always tries to do the right thing. I think any police force would be lucky to have her.”

“My daughter has you drinking the same water as her.” She said to me, then turned to Nicole. “Yes, it’s noble, but can’t you leave it to someone else. Why does it have to be you on the front line.” She sat back in her chair. “I can have just as much influence as a lawyer, but not need a gun.”

I could see where Tabitha was coming from. She had already lost her husband, and now her daughter was interested in a potentially dangerous job. But I also knew the pride that Nicole felt when she talked about being a police officer one day. This was a no-win situation. 

The sun was starting to set and the backyard was getting dark in the shadows. I offered to help clean up the dishes.

“Answer me this, Waverly.” Tabitha placed her hand on my arm before I could stand. “Do you think Nicole should be a police officer or a lawyer?”

I looked at Tabitha. She just wanted her child to be safe, I empathized with that. I wanted her safe, too. But I looked at Nicole and saw what was written across her face.

“That’s not up to me, that’s up to Nicole, and I think she’ll make the right choice for herself.” Tabitha grimaced and shook her head.

Nicole helped me carry in the dishes, and we quickly cleaned up. I wanted to go back into Nicole’s room for a bit, figure out how we wanted to work the rest of the evening, when Tabitha spoke up.

“We all have an early morning tomorrow. Nicole, you have to be at the start of the parade at six in the morning. Why don’t we call a cab for Waverly. You can stay in your own bed tonight, and I’ll pick up Waverly on my way to the parade tomorrow.”

I shot a quick look at Nicole. I really wanted her to come back to the hotel with me, but I couldn’t tell Tabitha that I wanted to sleep with my girlfriend. 

“Ah yeah, if you think that’s best?” I asked Nicole.

“Honey, you look tired. I’m sure Waverly can manage one night on the town without you.” Repeated Tabitha.

I blushed, but was a afraid to disagree. So we settled on calling a cab for me, and Tabitha would pick me up in the morning. Tabitha and I exchanged cell numbers, and I thanked her for dinner. I gave Nicole a short hug good night and climbed into the taxi. This wasn’t how I thought the night would end up.

Back in my room, I sat on my bed and held my little fish dog. I propped him up on my chest and he stared blankly back at me. I picked him up and tossed him across the room. Then I felt bad and ran over to pick him up. I hugged him and flopped back in the bed. What the hell was I doing? 

Just then a text came through.

NH> I’m sorry baby, this isn’t how I wanted to spend the night.

WE> me either, little fish dog is hardly a substitute for you.

NH> So, are you still up for a while?

WE> yes, why?

Just then there was a knock on my door.

NH> Because I’m here.

I ran to open the door and there was Nicole, leaning on the door frame and smiling at me. She walked in and grabbed my cheeks and kissed me pushing me back toward the bed. We fell in a tumble. 

“I know, I’m a grown, adult woman sneaking out of my mom’s house to visit my girlfriend.” Nicole answered the unasked question. “And I’m hoping to get an advance on my everything.”


	15. The Fourth Of July

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waverly finally gets to see Nicole in uniform.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning:
> 
> Discussions about suicide and homophobia

Chapter 15  
The Fourth of July

 

My alarm went off at six in the morning. My body was adjusting to the new time zone. I rolled over looking for my phone to turn off the alarm and realized that I was alone in the bed. My heart sank. It had only been a couple days, but I was so accustomed to waking up with Nicole in my arms that it physically hurt to hold only my pillow. 

I fumbled for the phone on the side table. As I grabbed it to turn off the buzzer, I noticed a piece of paper fall to the floor in between the hotel beds. I wiped the sleep from my eyes before reaching down to grab the paper. 

I looked over the small piece of hotel stationary, and saw the light script. It was a note from Nicole.

Waverly,

You were sleeping so peacefully that I didn’t want to wake you, but I need to get back home. I guess I’m sneaking out of everywhere tonight. I can’t wait for you to see me in my uniform tomorrow. Hopefully, my cowboy will impress you again. xo

I meant to tell you that you were brilliant with my mom today. I think she really liked you. Thank you. And maybe I was a little jealous of how easily you talked to her. You are amazing.

I love you,  
Nicole

I read through the note several times before getting up out of the bed. I hid the note with my fish dog in the suitcase sitting next to the TV. I didn’t want anything to happen to either of them. I picked up my PJs from the floor and put them back in the chest of drawers. I’m not even sure why I bothered to pack them in the first place. Maybe it’s like packing a raincoat. If you pack one, you won’t need it, but if you don’t…

I grinned, as I made a mental note to fill a suitcase with unnecessary PJs, to guarantee a trip like this one in the future.

I took a quick shower and got dressed in my red, white, and blue outfit for the parade. I had on my frayed, cut-off jean shorts and a red, Old Navy USA flag t-shirt. I put my hair up in ponytail and pulled out my flip flops. I was able to get through my morning routine in enough time to brew some hotel coffee and look over my outlines while waiting for Tabitha to text. I still had a few granola bars leftover from our picnic, and those became my instant breakfast. Not the best, but enough to keep body and soul together. 

At a quarter till eight, Tabitha sent a text to let me know she was leaving her house to pick me up. I agreed to wait for her in the lobby so that I could roll out when she pulled into the hotel’s covered driveway. 

I saw her black Lexus pull in and as I walked out the door, Tabitha put the car in park and opened her door to step out. She walked around the side of the car and held out her arms to hug me. She was wearing an immaculate, white pant suit with cropped pants and blazer. She had a navy blouse and smartly tied red, white, blue and gold silk scarf adorning her long neck. She towered over me in three inch, nude heels. I gave her a quick hug.

“I absolutely love your suit.” I smiled brightly at her. Nicole’s words were echoing in my head: she always dresses to impress. I felt completely underdressed and a little embarrassed. 

“Thank you. Did you have breakfast?” She asked as we both climbed into her car. The interior was completely spotless. I was almost afraid to touch anything that I might leave fingerprints behind on the sleek wood accents. 

“Yes, but I could use some real coffee.” I hoped she would be interested in a stop at Dutch Brothers.

“Monica’s is close to the start of the parade, why don’t we stop by there.” She glanced over at me before pulling out.

“Sure. That sounds great.” I maintained my smile. 

On the drive over to Monica’s, Tabitha spoke to me about my studies in French. She explained that she rarely had a chance to use her second language and was looking forward to our time on our own, so that she could use it again without making Nicole feel left out. 

As we neared the center of town, I expected her to park in the lot behind Main Street, where Nicole had parked a couple days ago, but she drove past it. Instead, she pulled into the City Hall parking lot where next to the mayor’s personal parking space, Tabitha Haught had her own spot. 

“Do you work for city hall?” I asked. I wasn’t sure why I was surprised, but I imagined her working for a law firm or something like that. 

“I’m General Counsel for the city.” She stated as she got out of her car.

“What does that mean?” 

“I handle all legal matters for the city.” 

“Are there a lot of court cases that involve the city?” 

“Actually, most of my work is either dealing with contracts or policy issues. But there are the occasional court cases.”

“Do you enjoy it?” I asked.

“Definitely, my work changes so quickly, depending on what is happening in town. No two days are ever the same.” 

We stepped out onto the sidewalk in front of City Hall. There were a lot of people milling about and trying to locate others. Coos Bay city police officers were directing traffic around the road closures. The parade started from the small park behind City Hall and wound its way down to Main Street and then back up until it ended at Mingus Park about a mile away. Most of the roads around the Main Street area were now blocked off from traffic. I guessed that Nicole had to be close by.

“Do you want to see if Nicole wants some coffee, too?” I asked, hopeful to see my girlfriend again.

“She’ll be helping to organize the parade with the Sheriff’s Department. They lead the parade every year. I don’t want to bother her.”

“Sure,” I said, and tried to hide my disappointment. 

We walked over to Monica’s. Her door chime rang as we opened the door and stepped into the happy restaurant. Monica was talking by her counter to a group of older women all wearing large, garish red hats. She looked up at us when she heard the bell ring.

“Tabitha,” she greeted Nicole’s mom brightly. The red hat ladies all turned around to see who Monica was addressing. They shuffled off to the side, a couple of them nodding politely at Tabitha, to resume their conversation out of ear shot.

“Good morning, Monica. We throughly enjoyed your loaf of bread last night.” Tabitha said as she walked over to the counter. Monica wore a red, white, and blue cotton button down blouse and had her hair pinned back by a red, white, and blue ribboned headband. As Tabitha stepped closer, Monica adjusted her headband and ran her fingers through her hair. 

“This is Waverly, one of Nicole’s friends from college. She says that you met the other day.” Tabitha continued.

“Yes, Waverly, of course I remember. Vegan, right?” She smiled warmly at me. 

I flashed her my bright smile. “Good memory. I love your headband. It’s really cute.”

“Oh, this old thing.” She placed her hand on the band again, blushing slightly. “I only bring it out for Flag Day and the Fourth of July.” She laughed at herself.

“Well, it’s perfect for the day.” I added.

“So, what can I do for you ladies?” Asked Monica.

Before I even had a chance to look over the drink menu, Tabitha spoke up. “We’d like two large coffees to go.” Tabitha looked down at me, “Is large ok, or would you prefer extra-large?”

I was a little baffled by her ordering for me. I realized that I stated back at the hotel that I wanted a coffee, but I didn’t know if Monica had espresso drinks or teas that I might want to try. “Uh, large is fine.” I told Monica. 

As Monica poured the coffee, she asked us about the bread from last night.

“So did the loaf make it home still warm?” 

“Yes, it was wonderful. I don’t know how you do it. I think I would weigh a thousand pounds if I could bake as well as you.” Tabitha laughed. Monica smiled back at her.

I decided to speak up as well. “We really enjoyed it. Is that the same bread that you use for your sandwiches?”

“Actually, that was a seven grain loaf you had last night. Usually, I make a wheat bread for the sandwiches here in the store. It’s an easier dough to work with.” Monica handed us our paper coffee cups. 

Tabitha pulled out a credit card to pay for the drinks.

“Oh, I can pay for mine.” I quickly offered.

“It’s no problem, dear. It’s my treat.” Again, she smiled down at me. What once felt like a genuine smile from her was now beginning to feel more manufactured. Tabitha turned back to Monica. “Did you know Waverly speaks French beautifully. I haven’t had a conversation in French since I was in Paris last.” 

Monica handed back Tabitha’s credit card. “Oh, I’d love to visit Paris someday.” She said, dreamily. Then Monica addressed me, “So, you must have been to France, too?” She asked me.

“Oh me, no. I wish. I’ve never left the country. I just enjoy learning new languages. I seem to have an ear for it.” Monica was super nice, but I was ready to get out of there and find Nicole.

“I’ve never been out of the country, either. Again, some day.” Monica said, wistfully. “Is there anything else I can get for you two?”

“You’re such a dear. Will you be able to step out and watch the parade?” Asked Tabitha.

“Possibly. It depends on how many customers I have. But I should be able to sneak out for a bit.”

“Nicole will be with the Sheriff’s Department at the beginning of the parade.” I thought to add.  
Tabitha flashed a quick smile that almost looked more like a grimace, then nodded at Monica and turned to walk out of the shop. I followed behind her after saying goodbye to Monica.

We walked back to City Hall. I tried to keep my eyes peeled for Nicole, but the whole town seemed to be full of police officers. I wasn’t sure what her uniform would look like and what the difference was between the city police and the county sheriffs. Tabitha seemed to have a specific place in mind for watching the parade. She stopped near the front entrance to City Hall. A small viewing stand was erected on the sidewalk across the street. There were flags and banners hanging from the stands. The seats were all occupied already, and the parade wasn’t set to start for another half hour. The sidewalks around the parade route were filling with people. A group of Boy Scouts were walking down the street and handing out small flags to children waiting along the sides. Everyone seemed to be talking and laughing with each other. Tabitha and I stood silently by ourselves. I desperately wanted to abandon her to walk around behind City Hall and look for Nicole, but that seemed rude. She had picked me up from the hotel and bought me a coffee. I sipped the drink which tasted a little bitter, and tried to think of something to say.

Just as I was about to ask her about her friendship with Monica, Tabitha turned to look me in the eye. “You’re dating my daughter, aren’t you?” She asked, very directly. The boldness of her question threw me off balance.

“Ah,” I stammered. Shit, what was I supposed to do? Did she notice that Nicole snuck out? “I mean…”

“It’s ok, I figured it out last night.”

“You saw Nicole sneak out to see me?” I guessed. 

Tabitha’s eyes slowly closed, “No.” She looked away. 

OH CRAP- I thought.

“I was going to say, Nicole never brings anyone home. And the two of you seem very close.” Tabitha clarified.

I cringed; I really put my foot in my mouth. Not only did I out our relationship against Nicole’s wishes, but I basically admitted that Nicole snuck out and we slept together last night. I started to wonder, however, if this conversation was the reason for Tabitha’s dominating nature this morning. I figured I couldn’t do much more damage than I had already done.

“Yes, we’re dating.” I admitted. I really felt like I was on trial. I tried to sound more confident than I felt.

Just then a portly gentleman in a gray suit emerged from City Hall and walked up to us. He was balding and appeared to be in his fifties or sixties, but he had a kind and slightly boyish smile. 

“Tabitha, good morning. Beautiful day for a parade, huh?” The man greeted Nicole’s mom.

“Bob, how are you?” Tabitha replied.

Bob looked down at me and quickly smiled.

“Bob, this is Waverly, a friend of Nicole’s from college. She’s here on a short visit.” Tabitha didn’t look at me.

Bob held out his hand to me. “Bob Hanson. Nice to meet you, I hope you enjoy our little town’s parade.” He looked back at Tabitha. “Thank you for your help on the pipeline matter, Tabitha. I’ll talk to you about it next week.” He smiled and nodded at both of us and walked off down the street.

Tabitha was still watching the man walk away, “That’s the mayor of Coos Bay. He’s an imbecile, but really popular.” She subtly shook her head and looked down on me. “You must be very special, if Nicole is willing to bring you home.” She gave me another smile that could have been a grimace. 

I looked out at all of the people gathering for the parade. Bodies were pressed together on the sidewalk. I could hear snippets of conversations and laughter. The air smelled like sunscreen. A small child jumped from the sidewalk down into the open road and marched around in a circle waving his flag. An older child rushed out to usher him back on to the sidewalk. There was a growing tension as the start of the parade drew closer. I could hear a marching band begin to warm up behind the building. 

Everything seemed to be pushing closer: sights, sounds, smells, and yet we still had a ten foot buffer around us. It left a chill that wasn’t dissipated by the swiftly rising sun. 

“Nicole is very important to me.” I spoke to nobody.

“How long have you been gay?” She asked back, quietly.

This seemed an odd question, but I didn’t want to show her any fear. “I didn’t figure it out until I met your daughter.” I looked over at her.

She nodded her head, considering my response.   
“Do your parents know?” She asked.

“My parents are gone. But, no, my aunt and uncle don’t know. Yet.”

“I’m sorry. What happened to your parents?” Her voice softened.

I looked down at my feet, the question was intrusive and I had no intention of letting her in before Nicole. “I prefer not to talk about it,” was my reply.

“Ok.” She accepted the line I drew in the sand. “Oh, dans quel monde vivons-nous.” She whispered under her breath.

At that point, an overhead speaker blared to life announcing the beginning of the parade. Bob Hanson was introduced and he quickly thanked several local businesses for sponsoring the parade and called for the event to start. A recording of the “Star’s Spangled Banner” was played over the speaker and everyone in the crowd rose and removed their hats. As the song ended, Bob got back on the microphone and announced the first group leading the parade- the Coos County Sheriff’s Department. 

My heart sped up as I watched for Nicole to come around the side of the City Hall building. I tossed my half full coffee cup in the nearby trash can and began clapping in anticipation. I really needed her smile to warm me up. 

The stands across the street erupted in loud applause as I saw two officers, carrying a large Coos County Sheriff’s Department banner between them, come around the corner of the City Hall building. Following the banner was a Sheriff’s vehicle with the lights twirling. As the car made the turn, it sounded it’s siren and the parade was officially started. Walking behind the squad car were a dozen officers. I quickly scanned them looking for Nicole. All the officers were dressed in khaki slacks, a dark navy, police button down shirt, and a tall, white Stetson- style Sheriff’s hat. In the rear of the pack, second to last, was Nicole carrying a large bag of candy. The only difference in her uniform was that she didn’t have a silver Sheriff’s star badge on her chest. I almost missed her because her hair was pulled back tight in a French braid that was tucked up inside of itself. When I saw her, I jumped up and down and waved. I couldn’t help myself, she was so beautiful. I felt tears burn down my cheeks and my breath caught. I wiped my cheeks with the back of my hand and joined the crowd in shouting out a cheer. Nicole spotted us and gave me a subtle smile. She held her thumb up and then waved.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Tabitha also waving as Nicole walked by. I watched Nicole as she followed the Sheriff’s Department. She tossed out candy to every child she saw standing on the side of the road. 

When she was finally out of sight, Tabitha turned back to face me. “Honestly. Tell me you’re not worried about this.” She pointed down the street where Nicole had just disappeared. 

I wasn’t ready for a fight, and I honestly hadn’t thought much about it anyway, but I was getting really frustrated with Nicole’s mother. I was here to support Nicole and watch a frickin Fourth of July parade, not engage in an existential debate regarding her daughter’s career choice. This wasn’t the time or the place for this conversation. I put my hands on my hips and squared up to Tabitha. 

“You know what I honestly think? I think that if you cared more about what makes your daughter truly happy and less about how it looks for you, you would know that she has the most generous heart of anyone I have ever met, that protecting others is what gives her strength, and her love is so overwhelming that I can’t believe I’m lucky enough to call her my girlfriend. If you could see past your own insecurities, you would be proud to be her mother just like I am proud to be her love.” I stood panting with a fierce burn in my eyes. 

A slow smile crept across Tabitha’s face as we stared each other down. It actually scared the shit out of me. She nodded her head and said she had some work to get done and that she was sure Nicole would rather see me than her when the parade ended. She turned and walked into the front door behind her, and I was left standing alone with the parade slowly moving behind me.

 

I tried to enjoy watching the rest of the parade, but in reality, I was kinda freaking out. I had no idea how Nicole would react to hearing about my breach with her mother. I also had no idea where I stood with Tabitha. Her smile at the end really threw me for a loop. I wouldn’t have been surprised if she was in her office either planning out a hit on me, or drafting our wedding vows. It was that creepy. 

Outwardly, I clapped as teams of children on bikes, mothers with baby carriages, and owners with dogs all decorated for the holiday walked past me. Fire trucks, the local high school band, and even a men’s choir added to the cacophony of the day. I was watching a dance studio’s five and six year old Twinkle Fairy Troop go skipping along when hands encircled my eyes and I heard Nicole’s voice in my ear. I jumped about a mile in the air. Nicole laughed at me as I turned around to face her, holding my hand over my heart.

“Hey baby, where’s my mom?” She smiled down at me with the most beautiful look. I jumped into her arms and kissed her full on the mouth. “Whoa. Where’s my mom?” She put her hands on my shoulders and gently pushed me back, looking around her. 

“She knows.” I blurted out.

“She knows what?” Asked Nicole.

“She knows about us. She kinda confronted me about it, and I sort of told her we were together.” I winced as I said it out loud. “Are you mad?” I was wringing my hands.

“She confronted you? Here?” Nicole took a step back. “What did she say to you?” She looked really worried.

“She said she figured out that we were together last night, but wanted to know for sure.” I hesitated, “I also kinda yelled at her.”

“You yelled at my mom?” Nicole looked at me in disbelief. 

“I was defending your desire to become a police officer and our relationship at the same time and, yes, I yelled at her.” 

Nicole’s eyes widened as her slow grin turned into a huge smile. 

“Are you mad at me?” I asked again.

Nicole slowly shook her head as she smiled at me, then stepped up, placed her hands on the back of my head, and kissed me firmly. “You yelled at my mom, defending me? I would’ve paid to see that,” and she kissed me again.

We decided to abandon the tail end of the parade and slowly walked hand in hand to Mingus Park where the Fourth of July party was already underway. 

We bypassed the crowds around the Boy Scouts’ food tent near the bathrooms, and started to walk around the lake in the center of the park. There were booths set up every twenty feet all the way around the lake for different organizations to pass out information and treats for the holiday. We strolled past them and stopped to sit on a bench by a small bandstand in the back of the park. 

Nicole sat next to me in her uniform, holding my hand, and looking out across the lake. In the middle of the lake swam a single white swan. There was a group of school aged children trying to coax the swan over to them by tossing pieces of their leftover hot dog buns in the lake. 

“So, Officer,” I said, still watching the children. “Do you get to keep your uniform?” I subtly nudged her shoulder with mine.

Nicole laughed. “Sorry. I have to return it. It was just for the parade. Apparently, I need to earn it, before they’ll let me keep it.” 

I turned to her. “Too bad. I love the hat, by the way.” I said, flicking the rim with my finger.

“Yeah? I was hoping you would.”

“Very cowboy.” With my free hand, I lifted it off her head and put it on mine.

Nicole let go of my other hand and placed her arm over my shoulder. “Well, I love your jean shorts.” She spoke into my ear around the hat.

“Yeah? I was hoping you would.” I repeated back to her, smirking. I shifted on the bench to face her more, and started to lean in to kiss her…

“Nicole.” A deep male voice cut us off. 

Nicole jerked away from me and looked in the direction of the voice. “Sir!” She exclaimed and her face quickly went as red as her hair.

A sheriff’s deputy, with badge and everything, was walking toward us. He wore a wide grin. Nicole jumped up to acknowledge the officer. I stood up next to her, removing the hat.

“Deputy Brandon!” Nicole started, a little out of breath. “I want you to meet my girlfriend, Waverly. Waves, this is Deputy Rick Brandon. He’s been my mentor this summer.”

The tall, dark haired, and square jawed man held out his hand to me. “Girlfriend!” the deputy said, questioning Nicole. “It’s nice to meet you. Are you from the area?” He asked me.

“No, I’m just out for the week visiting. I didn’t want to miss seeing her in uniform for the parade.”

“Well, rookie, I should let you know that we have two rules about the uniform and PDA. Not in uniform,” then he leaned in a little closer to Nicole, “not in public. Make sure you get it back to us on Monday when you return to work.”

“Absolutely, sir.” Nicole kept a straight face despite her cheeks burning a deep crimson. 

“You know, you are probably the hardest working intern we’ve ever had. I’m glad you’re taking some time off this week for yourself. You deserve it.” Deputy Brandon complimented Nicole, nodded at me, and continued his patrol around the lake. 

When he was out of sight, I leaned into Nicole, who was still watching the area around which he disappeared. “You hear that, Officer. Not in public.” I tickled her side. “We’re not that far from the hotel, right?”

Nicole looked down at me, sheepishly. “I didn’t bring extra clothes.”

“Baby, you won’t need them.” I hugged her arm.

 

We made it to the hotel room and I had Nicole naked and on her back in record time. I was also naked, but still wore her Stetson, and sat on top of Nicole, grinding down onto her pelvis. Her hands were on my stomach, feeling my muscles tense as I rolled my hips forward. One hand slipped down to snake between us, but I put my hand on her wrist to stop her. 

“You know what I wish?” I asked, with a slow roll of my hips.

“What?” Nicole asked with a cocky grin.

“I wish I could ride you. Like really ride you.” For emphasis, I pushed myself deep onto her pubic bone. “But have your hands free for other things.” I gently lifted her hands and placed them on my breasts as I continued to roll my hips forward. 

Nicole’s face caught somewhere between ache and desire. 

“Have you ever used a strap-on?” I asked. It seemed like an innocent enough question for a lesbian couple.

Her look faltered a bit and became worried. I stopped my hips as her hands left my breasts.

“Do you miss it?” She asked hesitantly.

“Do I miss what?” I tried to clarify.

“A penis. Do you miss having that?” She got an adorable crease between her eyes like she was afraid to even say the word out loud. It was the first time she seemed unsure of herself sexually.

“I don’t miss Champ for a second, how could you even think that?” I tossed her hat onto the second bed and leaned down to stretch out next to her.

“I don’t mean Champ in particular, but men.” She looked over at me. I rested my head on her shoulder and traced a line from her furrowed brow down over her cheek to her beautiful lips.

“No.” I said with all honesty, looking her directly in the eye. “I don’t miss men. Champ was a means to an end, and often, not even that. You asked me a while ago if I had ever masterbated before. Well, I got pretty good at it because Champ didn’t seem to know what he was doing and wasn’t all that interested in learning either. And I wasn’t very comfortable talking to him about it.”

“But you wish I had a penis.” She looked at me questioningly.  
“I wish I could give you pleasure while you are making me feel so extraordinary. I love feeling completely surrounded by you. I wish I could have you stretched inside me, while also having your hands pulling me into you. But this is completely about you, Nicole. I want your everything, too.” 

Nicole rolled over on top of me. I loved the pressure of her deliciously soft weight holding me down.

“If you want me to get a strap-on, I will. But you have to help me with it.”

“Ooo, twist my arm.” I playfully replied.

“I’m really glad you’re comfortable talking to me about these things.” Her gaze pressed into me as much as her body. 

“Nicole, that was one of the things that made me realize I loved you, how comfortable you make me feel. Not just sexually, but everywhere. I don’t have to pretend around you or be someone else. It is so freeing.” I ran my fingers back through her hair, pushing it behind her ears. “You make me feel like I have my own everything to give you.”

She brought her lips down onto mine, her hands snaked behind my shoulders and up to the back of my neck and head. I opened my legs wider to feel her press into me. She rolled her hips up, her pubic bone hitting me just right. I groaned into her mouth as my eyes rolled back in my head. 

She almost didn’t need a strap-on. Almost.

 

We were getting dressed again when both of our cell phones went off at the same time. We reached for our phones and both quickly looked up at each other. We had a group message from Tabitha inviting us over for drinks and dinner before the firework show started at the high school that evening. I tried to decipher Nicole’s expression.

“Do you think she’s going to try and poison me?” I asked flippantly, but also a little honestly. 

Nicole laughed at my concern. “No, I don’t. She might want to lecture us.” 

“Or yell at me.”

Just then a second text came through asking if there was a particular brand of veggie burger that I preferred.

“I wonder if she wants to apologize.” Nicole stared at her phone in disbelief. “She’s being way too nice.”

“No, she wants to kill me.” I said, resigned to my fate. “It’s a trap.”

Nicole looked over at me with a smirk. “I think she really likes you. If she didn’t, you wouldn’t be invited back over. You just wouldn’t exist for her anymore.” She started to chuckle. “What did you say to her?”

“Nothing,” I held up my hands. ‘I just said that she needed to get over herself and start being proud of you.” I pointed at Nicole.

Nicole bit her lip as she swiftly walked over and picked me up. “Do you know how awesome you are?” 

“Well, if you show me right now, we’re going to be late to your mother’s, and then she really will kill me.” I warned Nicole. 

 

We pulled into the garage when we got back to Nicole’s house. Her mom’s Lexus was parked again under the basketball hoop. As we got out and walked around to the front door, I asked Nicole why her mom didn’t use the garage for her car.

“We’ve always parked dad’s car in the garage. It keeps it protected from all the rain they get here.”

I nodded and squeezed her hand. “Are you ready?” I looked over at the front door. 

“Of course. I really don’t think she invited you over to grill you up. Plus, you defended me this morning, I’ve got you this evening.” She smiled down at me.

I tried to release her hand as she knocked once and opened the door, but she didn’t let go of mine. Instead, she pulled me in behind her. 

“Hey Mom, we’re back.” She called out. Tabitha appeared from the kitchen. She was back in her capri length dark denim jeans with a red, light-weight button down and matching red espadrille wedges. This outfit looked far more appropriate for the casual nature of the holiday. 

“I’m glad you decided to come over, I’m preparing to grill in the back yard. Honey, why don’t you get changed.” She was looking at Nicole who was still in her Sheriff’s uniform. “Waverly, I could use your help in the kitchen.” She looked at me with a smile. I actually shuddered.

Nicole squeezed my hand reassuringly and then walked up the stairs toward her bedroom. I followed Tabitha in the kitchen. On the kitchen island stood an open bottle of red wine, two empty wine glasses, and one full one. Tabitha picked up the bottle and held it up for me. 

“This is from my favorite Oregon winery, Domaine Serene. It’s from a region in the northern part of the state that specializes in Pinot Noir grapes. Would you like a glass?”

“Sure.” I said. Tabitha poured a glass and held it out to me. “Thank you.” I still felt on edge.

“Happy Fourth of July.” She raised her glass and lightly clinked it against my own. 

I took a sip and was surprised by the strong berry flavor of it. I didn’t know much about wines, but I enjoyed the bright blackberry undertones of the wine as it hit my tongue. “Wow. This is really good.”

“I know. It’s one of my favorite wines, certainly my favorite Oregon wine.” She paused and spun her wine around in her glass. “I want to apologize if I made you feel uncomfortable this morning.” She took a deep breath and let it out. “I don’t want you to assume I don’t support my daughter. I do. It can be difficult as a parent to know how best to support your children. It’s easier when they’re younger and all you have to do is clothe and feed them.” She took a slow sip of wine and continued. “I am proud of Nicole. Very proud of her. She’s been forced to face a great deal as a young woman and done it remarkably well.” Here, she paused again. “She was very close to her father.”

“I know.”

“Well, then you should also know that his passing was very difficult for her. As her mother, I just want to protect her from facing more difficulty on that level. That’s where I’m coming from in my concern for her future.”

“I get it. You love her. And I’m sorry I yelled at you. That wasn’t fair.”

“Perhaps a little.” She laughed lightly and took another sip. “It’s hard to admit that I don’t always know best.”

I smiled back at her and took a sip of the wine myself. The berries really hit me; I may not end up a beer drinker, but I thought I could easily become a wine drinker.

“So tell me how best to prepare a veggie burger.” Tabitha asked me.

“Honestly, you probably know as much as I do. I don’t make them myself, I usually get them at restaurants.” I admitted.

“Is there something else that you would prefer?” She looked a little worried. It seemed that Nicole was right, her mom wanted to apologize, and now she was worried that she got the wrong kind of food for me.

“No, veggie burgers are fine. I like them. I just tend to do more stir-frying or one-pot meals for myself. This will be great, though. I appreciate you thinking about it.” 

“Well, I got enough for all three of us to try them. I’ve never had a veggie burger, myself.” 

That’s when Nicole walked back into the kitchen. She wore sweats and a loose hoodie. She grinned as she stepped up next to me and placed her hand on my lower back. 

Turning to her mom, she asked, “Is that glass for me?” 

Her mom poured a glass of wine for Nicole and handed it to her. Tabitha raised her glass in the air for a second time and saluted the day. Nicole and I both raised our own glasses before taking a drink.

 

We all moved out to the porch. Tabitha started the grill and then sat down with us at the patio table. We finished the bottle of wine and opened a second before we remember to even put the veggie burgers on the grill. Tabitha asked me more about my studies and what I hoped to do with my degree. I told her I was thinking about trying to graduate a year early and she encouraged me to take my time and not put too much pressure on myself. Nicole was quiet again, but this time she seemed more at ease, like she was grateful to have someone else be the focus of her mother’s conversation, rather than worried about what her mother was going to say.

While Tabitha manned the grill, Nicole and I sliced tomatoes, sweet onions, and an avocado for our burgers inside the kitchen. Tabitha had picked up a bin of garlic hummus and a small vegetable tray at the grocery for us to share, and she called from the backyard to ask Nicole to get them from the refrigerator. When everything was sliced, we carried all the food to the outdoor table. We finished the second bottle of wine and were discussing opening a third when I asked about the firework show that night.

“Is this something we can walk to? Because I, for one, am feeling a little tipsy. I know I shouldn’t be driving anywhere right now, and you shouldn’t either.” I placed my hand on Nicole’s. Tabitha quickly looked away. My stomach clenched, shit- did I push it too far? Things were going so well. 

Nicole smiled at me, “I think you’re right. The fireworks won’t start until nine o’clock, so we have some time, but we can take a cab over, if you want to have some more wine.”

“I should probably slow down, or I won’t be awake for the fireworks, let alone sober enough to watch them.” I added. I turned to face Tabitha. “Do you have any caffeine free teas?”

“Of course. Nicole, do you mind showing her the teas?” She sat back in her metal chair and looked at the grill.

“Yeah, Follow me, Waves.” Nicole stood and walked into the kitchen. I watched Tabitha for a long second and got up to follow Nicole inside.

 

Once we were in the kitchen, I leaned into Nicole and asked, “Do you think she’s upset that I held your hand back there?”

She let out a deep breath. “I have no idea what’s going to set off my mom. I’ve given up trying to figure it out.” She looked down at me. “Sorry, that’s not very helpful. I don’t think so, she seems to really like you.” 

“Ok.” I said, though I didn’t feel very reassured. 

I picked out a cinnamon apple tea, and leaned against the kitchen counter while waiting for the water to heat. Nicole leaned over and kissed my cheek. “Just remember, I’ve got you, tonight.” She smiled down at me and walked back out to join her mom.

When I joined them with my tea in hand, the burgers were ready. We all put together our sandwiches. The burgers were ok, a little dry, but not bad. The tomatoes and sweet onions were incredible, though. I asked Tabitha about them.

“I got them at the farmer’s market. The city hosts a farmer’s market every Monday in the park behind the building, where the parade started this morning. I stopped by there yesterday before I went to work.”

“But these onions are incredible. They’re so sweet, I could eat them on their own.” 

“They’re called Walla Walla; they’re originally from Walla Walla, Washington. They’re smaller than Vidalia onions, but so much sweeter. When your father and I first moved here, a neighbor brought over some as a welcome gift and he had one made up in a sandwich for us. We both thought he was completely insane. After he left, I dared your father to try it and that’s how we discovered just how sweet they were.”

Nicole sat up, “You dared Dad to eat a raw onion sandwich? Mom, that’s pretty rough.”

She laughed, “Well, there was no way I was going to try it. So I hoped to get your father to do it by daring him. He was always up for trying a crazy dare, especially if it involved food.” Nicole and her mom laughed together. I sat back and shook my head, smiling at the two of them.

As dusk settled over the backyard, we decided to move our little party indoors. Tabitha opened a third bottle of wine and she and Nicole shared a glass. I reheated my tea. 

 

We settled in the living room. Tabitha sat in the tan swivel chair and Nicole and I took the black couch. I made sure to leave a respectful amount of space between Nicole and I. I didn’t want to break whatever magic this was that was causing the two of them to talk so comfortably. Though, I suspected it had a great deal to do with the wine.

The dynamics of the conversation seemed to shift a little once we moved indoors, however. Tabitha was off on her side of the living room and Nicole and I were occupying the other. She sat so tall in the swivel chair. 

“Before you head off tonight, I was hoping to talk to the two of you about your relationship.” Tabitha said.

Nicole and I both tensed. I was sitting too far away from her to take her hand. It dawned on me that THIS is what tonight had been about all along. Tabitha didn’t invite me over because she liked me or because she wanted to apologize to me, or even because she gave a rat’s ass about the Fourth of July. This, whatever this was, was Tabitha’s end goal of the evening. I braced myself for what was to come. I’d had WAY too many of these “family meetings” to be fooled into thinking that whatever would come next would be pleasant. And from Nicole’s body language, I could tell she knew it, too.

“I feel like I have a responsibility to talk to you both as a parent. Waverly, you told me that you lost your parents and you haven’t told your aunt and uncle about your sexuality, so I feel that I need to include you in this conversation.”

Nicole looked at me surprised, as if to say- how could you tell my mom about your parents, but not me.

Worried, I shook my head slightly as I looked at her. I tried to send her my thoughts- Baby, I would never open up to your mom before I opened up to you.

I looked back at Tabitha and steeled myself. I was not going to allow this woman to hurt either me or my love. Bring it, Bitch, because you are not my mother.

“This is a very difficult road you both have chosen. I need to know that you have really considered the consequences of making this choice. It’s not too late to turn around. Many people experiment in college. Waverly, you are so young and pretty. I know you would have no problem finding a man to love you.”

Her words hit harder than I thought they would. Fuck her, I tried to remind myself. 

“Mom!” Nicole yelled next to me. “What the hell?”

“Nicole, you can get as angry as you want, but the truth is, this is a very difficult road to follow. It will have an impact on you for the rest of your lives. It can effect your ability to get a job, get housing. You know its perfectly legal to discriminate against gays, fire them, deny them housing. That can have lasting consequences on your health and outlook.”

“Mom, stop it. This is ridiculous. How can you say that? I’ve been openly gay for three years now and nothing like that has happened to me. This is all just a bunch of bullshit.”

“It’s not bullshit, darling.” Her voice was so deep and calm, it unnerved me. “Nicole, it happens all the time. I hear about it on the radio, on the news. This is the world in which we live.”

Suddenly, Tabitha’s words from this morning hit me. Oh, dans quel monde vivons-nous. But we have a hand in creating the world in which we live. We help shape that world. And then I thought about the world that Tabitha had created for herself here, and I began to see her in a new light.

“There are young people taking their lives because they are gay. It happens every day. Young people your own age, high school and college kids, committing suicide because they feel stuck in their sexuality.” Tabitha continued.

Nicole stood up, her eyes blazing. “Mom. I’m not going to commit suicide. Those are just statistics, the media blowing things out of proportion.”

“No, it’s not.” She was deadly serious and eerily calm.

“Name one person that you know who committed suicide because she’s gay.” Nicole yelled back at her mother.

“John.”

“John, John who?” Nicole screamed.

“Your tall friend from high school. John Bauer.”

Nicole jumped back like she had been slapped. “What do you mean John Bauer? He ran off with a girlfriend from college. He’s not even gay.” She retorted.

“No, he didn’t. He didn’t run off with a girlfriend, that’s what his parents told everyone. He met a young man at college and told his parents. They told him they’d cut him out of their lives, cut off payment for college, his room and board, everything. He committed suicide the next day.”

“No he didn’t. He met a girl and ran off with her. I think I’d know if John was gay. He’d tell me.” She yelled.

“Honey, he didn’t tell anyone. He was so ashamed, he took his life.” 

“No, Mom, he didn’t.” Nicole was fierce. “How the hell would you know that, anyway?”

“Because I settled his estate. His parents asked me to quietly close his probate and tell nobody.”

Nicole’s face fell. “What?”

“His parents asked me to seal his documents and settle his estate. We did it very quietly and his parents told everyone that John met a girl and ran off with her and that they hadn’t heard from him. Once probate was closed, they moved to Portland. That’s the last I heard from them.”

Nicole’s mouth hung open. “But… but why didn’t you tell me?”

“I was their attorney and they instructed me not to say anything.”

“But he was my friend.”

“I know, honey. That’s what I’m talking about. This is a hard road to follow. Are you sure this is the right one?”

“But he was my friend.” Nicole looked up at her mom sternly. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because you father had just passed away. You were a wreck, you could barely function. And I worried that if I told you, you would do the same thing. John talked to his parents and the NEXT day he was gone. I was so worried that you would do the same thing. You were in so much pain, and I thought you might do the same thing.” Tabitha’s wall broke. She sobbed heavily. 

Nicole walked out of the room and up toward her bedroom. Tabitha yelled out through her tears, “I was so worried that you would do the same thing. I thought I’d lose you, too. I just lost your father, I couldn’t lose you, too.” She put her face in her hands and shook.

I sat stunned on the couch. I wasn’t sure either one of them remembered I was still there. I watched Tabitha shake in her chair, heavy, ugly cries pouring from her. 

This woman, who was so beautiful, had turned herself ugly. She wore fashion like a weapon, but protected her husband’s twenty year old car. Her closest friend was a woman from whom she bought a sandwich once a week, but meticulously preserved the bedroom of her eight year old daughter. Her house and car were spotless, but she never touched even the dust in the tool room. The pain she described wasn’t Nicole’s, it was her own.

Tabitha looked up at me from her hands, make-up running freely. 

“Don’t judge me.” She growled and stared at me, daring me to speak.

I considered my words carefully.

“I’m not judging.” I furrowed my brow and shook my head slightly- I didn’t want to sound patronizing- and tried to start again. “I can’t imagine what you’ve been through. I can’t even begin to understand how scared you were. It must have been overwhelming.”

I got up to leave the living room and find Nicole without looking at Tabitha. 

 

I found Nicole standing in her dark bedroom. She stood before her bed completely still. I watched her for a minute from the doorway. She didn’t move a muscle. I was afraid to say something, to break the silence. She was lost in it. 

Then faintly, I heard her say, “He could have told me.”

“I know, baby.” I whispered as softly as I could. Still, she flinched.

“I told him I was gay, he could have told me.”

“I know.”

“Why didn’t he tell me?”

“I don’t know, baby.” I wasn’t sure if I was even speaking the words or just thinking them.

“He could have told me. I should have known, I should have seen it. Why didn’t he say something when I told him about me?”

“I don’t know, baby.”

“I didn’t follow up. I never checked up on him. I thought he was happy. I thought he met someone and was happy. I thought he finally got away from his parents. It made me glad he got away from his parents.” She muttered under her breath, without emotion, just words strung together. 

“I thought he was happy. I didn’t follow up because I thought he was happy. I didn’t ask questions because I thought he was happy. I thought he was happy.”

Just then the house shook slightly as a loud boom sounded in the air. Nicole just about jumped out of her skin. She screamed out, not saying anything, just yelled.

I ran over to her, but it was like she couldn’t see me. She wore a look of terror. She clamped her hands over her ears as a second firecracker exploded. 

Of all the fucking times for fireworks.

With every explosion, her body shook like it was electrocuted. I pulled her down onto her bed on top of me and pressed my own hands over hers on top of her ears. We lay on her bed like that, dark room, her hands and my hands protecting her ears from the explosions. But it didn’t help, the firecrackers continued and Nicole cried into my shoulder. I knew there was still a finale, rapid fire explosions, plus the big ones, the big berthas that shook the house. I wanted to transport her away, to blink and be anywhere else. But I couldn’t. All I could do was hold her, cover her ears, and absorb as much of the shock as I could. 

When the fireworks ended, I felt Nicole relax a bit. She still held her ears and softly cried into my neck. I look up and saw Tabitha standing in the doorway watching. Her silhouette was long and exaggerated by the light shining behind her. She looked like a vampire waiting. I silently willed her to leave us alone. I really didn’t want to speak up and alert Nicole to her mom’s presence. After a few minutes, Tabitha retreated back down the stairs.

 

It was a little past midnight when I woke up. I was on my back and Nicole was sound asleep, wrapped around me. We were both still clothed and lying on top of her bed covers. My bladder screamed out for relief, so I tried as delicately as I could to slip out. Nicole rolled over onto her side still asleep. I slipped into her bathroom, leaving the light off, and tried to pee silently. 

When I walked back into the bedroom, I saw Nicole curled up in a ball on the edge of her bed. I slipped off her shoes and pulled her cowgirl bedspread back as far as I could, then rolled her over so I could pull the blanket up over her body. Nicole murmured but remained asleep. 

I noticed a soft light shining up onto the landing from the kitchen. I stepped out of Nicole’s room and walked down the stairs. Tabitha sat at the kitchen island, a single light above her illuminating the back of her head. Her hair was pulled back in a loose ponytail, her face was washed clean of make-up, and she wore a frayed, cotton bathrobe. On the counter sat an open carton of chocolate ice cream. She was slowly dipping a spoon into the carton and then placing it delicately into her mouth. 

Tabitha looked up as I stepped into the kitchen. Then she looked back down at the ice cream, wordlessly, and set her spoon down. 

I walked over, but stopped a few feet away. “I should probably call a cab. Nicole’s asleep.” I spoke gently.

“No.” Her mom’s voice was deep, but soft; she kept her eyes on the container. “You should stay. She needs you.”

I nodded my head and walked up to the island. I pointed down at the ice cream. “May I?”

“It’s not vegan.” She confessed.

“That’s ok, vegan ice cream tastes like…” I stopped myself before I cursed in front of her.

“Like what?” She asked.

I took a deep breath, fuck it. “Like ass.”

Tabitha chuckled softly, and in it I heard Nicole’s own laugh. I bit back my smile. Tabitha and Nicole were more alike than either one of them would care to admit.

She pointed at a drawer under the counter. I opened it and found the utensils. I pulled out a spoon and dipped it into the chocolate. I lifted it up, considered it, and then placed it on my tongue. The chocolate melted quickly and dissolved down my throat as I swallowed it.

“If I’d’ve known you be breaking your diet, I’d’ve gotten Haagen-Dazs.”

“No, this is good.” I took another taste and Tabitha picked up her spoon to continue eating. 

After a bite, Tabitha looked over at me. “I fucked up.”

I didn’t want to agree out loud, but I nodded my head.

“I was never her favorite. She was always a Daddy’s girl.” She stopped to take another bite. “After,” she halted, “She didn’t talk for two months. Not a single word. I wondered if she wished it had been me instead.” She took a large bite of ice cream. 

“It wasn’t until John came back to visit for the last time that she started to talk again. And then I learned about him a few months later.” Tabitha stared at the ice cream. “I couldn’t bring myself to tell her what happened. I didn’t even know she was gay then. But I couldn’t tell her. I couldn’t let her lose another important person from her life. I wanted her to believe the lie. I wanted to believe it myself. The lie seemed so much easier.” 

A couple minutes passed as we silently ate ice cream.

“Some days I wished it was me. Skip would have known better what to do for her.”

I looked up at her. She was lost in her thoughts. Her hand holding her spoon was resting on the counter. I placed my hand on hers. She let go of the spoon and squeezed back, raising her other hand to her face as she began to cry. 

I felt my own tears roll down my cheeks. Oh, what a world indeed.

 

We remained like that for several minutes. Eventually, Tabitha gave my hand another squeeze and let go. She stood up, walked over to the kitchen sink, and placed her spoon down in it. She splashed water on her face and dried it on the kitchen towel before looking out the window at the dark night. 

“Nicole told me once,” my quiet voice surprising even me, “that her favorite thing you cook is the crab salad.”

Tabitha turned and smiled at me through her puffy eyes. “Thank you for saying that.”

“Well, I’ve never tried the kind of crab you have out here. As long as I’m being bad, maybe I could try some of that, too.” I offered.

“I don’t know if I can get any. But I’ll try.” She nodded her head, looking back out the window. “I’m tired. I should go to bed.” She turned to head up the stairs, but paused on the bottom step. 

Speaking over her shoulder, she said. “I can see why Nicole loves you.” Then walked up to her bedroom and closed the door. 

I sat under the kitchen light, open container of chocolate ice cream before me, with my head spinning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have ever felt suicidal, please know you are not alone.
> 
> You are valued.
> 
> And it does get better.
> 
> The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255


	16. Reckoning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heart-to-heart time

Chapter 16:  
Reckoning

 

I woke up the next morning to the shuffling sounds of Nicole moving around the bed, walking back and forth. It was early, I didn’t need my cell to tell me, because the room was still dark. I sat up in her bed and rubbed my eyes.

“Hey.” Nicole said to me and then sat down on the bottom of her bed. 

“What time is it?” I asked groggily.

“It’s six.” She spoke softly.

“What are you doing?”

“Packing. We’re going to stay the rest of the trip in our hotel room.” She stood up and walked over to her desk. On top was a large duffle bag sitting unzipped. Nicole picked up a small pile of clothes and placed them inside. She walked back over to her chest of drawers, slid out one drawer slowly to keep the noise down, pulled out some more clothes, and walked back over to her desk.

“Why are you packing now? Why don’t we get some more rest first and then head over to the hotel.”

Nicole placed the new pile of clothes in the duffle. “Because I want to be out of the house before my mom gets up.” She said without looking up. She walked back over to close the drawer.

“Baby, come back to bed.” I said, reaching out my hand.

“No.” She said firmly. The force of her reply caught me off guard. I panicked and withdrew my hand. “I want to be out before she gets up. I don’t even want to see her, Waverly.”

“Ok, but can we rest when we get to our room? I’m exhausted and a little hungover, I think.” I rubbed my temples.

“Sure.” Was her quick reply.

I sat back in her bed and watched her move about the room in near silence, packing her bag. I slipped out to use her bathroom when she left to get something from the hall. When I came back, Nicole had her duffle zipped up and a reusable bag with some beach towels stuffed inside. 

Nicole’s face was expressionless, she was scanning her room back and forth. “I think I have everything.” She said, softly. She picked up her bags and walked out of the room. She didn’t look at me. I quickly slipped on my jeans from last night, put on my shoes, and grabbed my belongings.

When I stepped out into the landing, I couldn’t see Nicole. Then I heard a shuffling noise in the living room and walked down the steps to find her. Nicole was gently opening the front door. She grabbed the two bags and stepped out into the faint light of the morning. 

I jogged across the room, but even still, by the time I made it through the front door, closing it behind me, Nicole was already halfway down the front walk. I looked back at the front door, checking that it was closed all the way, and ran down the walkway to join Nicole by the open garage door. She placed her bags in the open trunk of the orange car, and walked to the driver’s side door. I quickly jumped into the passenger seat, a little worried that she might take off without me if I wasn’t fast enough. 

She backed out of the garage and down onto the street, then pulled away from her house without speaking or looking at me.

“Nicole?” I asked. She didn’t respond, so I tried again. “Is everything ok, baby.” I knew it wasn’t, but I wanted her to look at me.

“Yep,” she stared down road, her fingers drumming on the steering wheel. We sat in silence as she drove over to the hotel. 

We passed the Dutch Brothers, the lights were on in the small hut and a couple cars were already in line. I thought about asking to stop, but this didn’t seem like the right time. Plus, I wasn’t sure my stomach could handle the syrupy sweet coffee drink just then. 

The hotel was about a mile past the Dutch Brothers right on the bay. I watched a fishing boat pulling out of its dock and cruise down toward the opening of the bay into the ocean. 

When we got to the hotel, Nicole parked the car in the lot. She hopped out of the car, opened the trunk to get her stuff, and quickly closed the car up. I slipped out and stood next to her. She locked the car and swiftly walked to the front door of the hotel. Since her legs were quite a bit longer than mine, I had to trot along beside her to keep up. The early morning chill sank into my arms. I was still in my red, Old Navy t-shirt and the short sleeves did nothing to protect me from the cool air. I ran my hands up and down my arms and looked forward to cuddling in next to Nicole under the covers of the bed once we made it back to the room. 

We still didn’t say anything, Nicole hardly looked at me the whole elevator ride up to our floor. Once the elevator door opened, I ran ahead a few feet to open the door to our room for Nicole. 

She placed her bags down on the second bed and sat down on the bottom edge. I started to strip off my clothes and pulled the covers back on our bed. I looked at Nicole. She was still sitting on the edge of the bed, not moving, just staring. 

“Are you coming to bed?” I asked.

“In a minute.” Her gazed was fixed on the chest of drawers in front of her. I wanted to crawl into her lap and force her to look at me, touch me. But I was worried that with my being naked, she would think I was just trying to have sex again. This was about as non-sexual as I’d ever seen Nicole. I tried to let it go, she needed a little time with her thoughts. I couldn’t blame her for that. Last night was an emotional bomb and she was probably still reeling from it. 

“Baby, when you’re ready, I just want to hold you. Ok?” I tried to sound comforting, rather than worried. I sat on our bed and started to pull the covers up over me. 

“Yeah.”

I lay down and covered myself with the blankets. I didn’t want to watch her just sit around in anguish, but I wanted to give her some space, if she needed it. I closed my eyes and was surprised by how tired I felt. I was out before I knew it. 

 

When I woke up a little later, Nicole was still sitting in the same position, staring at the blank TV screen.

I rolled out of our bed and slipped in behind her on the other bed. I draped my legs next to hers and wrapped my arms around her torso, resting my chin on her shoulder. 

“Hey baby.” I spoke into her shoulder. “What are you thinking about?”

“Nothing.” It sounded empty.

I squeezed her stomach, “Baby, talk to me. This is not nothing.” I tried to encourage her.

She shook her head. “I’ve been thinking about the rest of the summer. I think I want to come home with you. I can give the Sheriff’s Department my notice today and I’ll change my return flight ticket to match yours and we can go home together.”

I let her words sink in.

“What do you think about that? We could be together for the rest of the summer. I don’t want to be here anymore. I want to be home with you, Wave.” She leaned back into me. I pressed my face in between her shoulder blades. 

I wanted this more than anything. My body screamed to jump up and wholeheartedly agree, to bring her home with me. But my brain knew better. My stupid, fucking brain knew this was not the right answer. The Nicole Haught that I loved didn’t run away and hide from her problems, that’s what I did, but not her. This was the hurt talking, the broken trust talking, but not my love. I held her tight to me. I knew what I had to say, but I had no idea how she would react to it. Part of me feared that she would pull away from me just as much as she did from her mom. 

I let the silence between us hold us in a stasis, a purgatory of relationships. I knew once the words left my lips, there was no going back. I held her to me and wished I could just shut off my brain and accept her plan as a gift.

“What do you think?” She spoke over her shoulder to me.

I placed my forehead against her spine and played with her t-shirt at her sides. “I would love that more than anything, I really would, if that was the right thing to do.”

Nicole shifted around to face me and I felt my nakedness keenly. “What do you mean, if it was the right thing to do?” Her brow was furrowed again with that cute crease between her eyes. 

“Nicole, I can’t let you run away from your problems, even if that means I have wait longer to see you. This is really important. Your internship is really important…”

“Fuck my internship. I’ve gotten all I’m going to get out of that experience. It’s just a volunteer position, they can’t make me stay. And there is no way I’m living under that roof for one more day.” She gestured wildly in the direction of her home. “So I’m going to leave, I’m going to come home, whether that’s with you or not.”

“Nicole, will you come and lie down with me? Let snuggle and talk about it.”

“No. I don’t want to snuggle this away. I’ve made my choice, now I need to act on it.”

“Nicole.” I said, worried.

“Waves, I thought you would want this.” She looked so hurt.

“I do, but not like this?”

“Like how, then? Did you think I could just talk about it for a little while and that would make everything ok? I’ll be holding my mother’s hand tomorrow. Fuck that, and fuck you, if you think so. You obviously don’t know me very well.”

Her words smacked me, my mouth dropped open. I got up and walked into the bathroom, slammed the door, and locked it. I grabbed a clean towel and wrapped it around me, sat down on the toilet and felt my hot tears sting down my cheeks. 

After several minutes, I heard knocking on the door. “Waves, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.” There was a pause. “I was angry at my mom and took it out on you. That wasn’t fair. My mom is such a bitch, she drives me crazy.” Her fists hit the door.

I could hear Nicole lean up behind the door. “Waverly. Please open the door.”

Just then I shot up and out of the small bathroom, wrenching open the door so that Nicole almost stumbled inside. As I walked past her, I tossed out, “You’re more like your mother than you think.” I sharply tugged open the chest of drawers and grabbed some clothes. I quickly tugged on the sports bra, loose t-shirt, underwear and black yoga bottoms. 

“Waves, please stop.”

I stopped and looked up at her. We both knew we were right. Just like in our first fight. I crossed my arms in front of me.

“What?” I demanded.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to swear at you.”

“Sure you did, just like you intend to run away. The Nicole Haught I love isn’t a coward.” I bent down to grab my running shoes, and punched my feet inside. “I’m going for a walk. You’re free to stay.”

My words hit their mark. She stood before me with her mouth open. I was sorry, but I also wasn’t. Her face hardened.

“I’m not a coward.” She slowly shook her head.

“Yeah? Then talk to me. Really talk to me. Don’t sit on the edge of the fucking bed for hours and make me think you’ve gone crazy.”

Nicole turned her back on me and paced up and back the short hallway in front of the bathroom. “Not here. Not like this.” Her pacing betrayed the calm of her voice.

“Then how?” I asked, I wasn’t going to let it go. I knew I was stirring the bee’s nest, but her nest needed a little stirring.

“I want to go for a hike. I need to get outside.”

“Fine.” I grabbed my cell phone and wallet, pushed past her and opened the door before she had a chance to change her mind. Let’s fucking do this. 

I walked to the end of the hotel’s hallway and took the stairway down to the first floor. I didn’t want to be cooped up in the elevator right now. Nicole was following. We walked out to the car, and got inside. The small interior of the car felt cramped and suffocating with the weight of our silence. 

I recognized the road we were on. It was the same one we took to Surfer’s Beach. I internally begged her not to take us there. I didn’t want to potentially ruin the memories of our morning there. 

Nicole drove past the gravel road turn off for Surfer’s Beach, and I finally looked over at her. “Where are we going?” I had calmed down a little.

Nicole kept her eyes on the winding, tree lined road. “There’s a trail at the end of the cape. Not many people know about it. And those that do, don’t use it much because it doesn’t follow the coast at all. When I’ve hiked it, I hardly ever see anyone on it. I want some privacy.”

I nodded my head and watched the road. 

In what looked to be the middle of nowhere, Nicole pulled off onto a small turnout and parked the car. I looked out the window and the tall pine trees that crowded the road, towered over us. There was a damp earth smell when I opened the door. Tiny green ferns curled at the base of the wide tree trunks, and the dark brown soil gave away under my feet with a slightly springy cushion.

Across the street was a steep slope and a very narrow trail that looked to head straight up the hillside. There wasn’t a marker or trail sign, just a rough dirt cut-in between the trees and ferns. It was only wide enough for us to walk single file. No wonder no one used this trail; it was almost invisible and very daunting. 

Nicole darted across the street and took a few steep steps up the path before turning to look back at me. “Is this ok?”

I nodded my head. If this was what she needed, then I would follow. I ran across the street and stepped up onto the path. 

The first hundred yards of the path were literally climbing up the side of the densely forested hill. What the hell are we doing, I thought to myself. I struggled to keep my breath as Nicole pushed on up the steep slope, her long legs making short work of the assent. When we crested the top of the hill, I looked back down the trail and felt a little sense of vertigo. I hoped there was an easier way to get back down to the car, but I suspected not. 

At the top of the hill, the trees thinned slightly and the path widened. We were able to walk side by side. I jumped up next to her and took her hand. The hard exercise seemed to have burned off some of her anxious energy. She was looking around her at the landscape, still not down at me, but she allowed me to hold her hand. 

We continued down the trail, but at a slower pace, and I was grateful for an opportunity to catch my breath.

“I remember somewhere up here is an old World War Two bunker. I think my dad said they used it to look for Japanese war ships and planes.” We took a few more steps forward. “I hope it’s still here, unless they tore it down. I haven’t been on this trail since I was in high school.” Then Nicole was lost again in her own silence, searching the trees for some kind of clue as to her goal. “John and I once got a pack of cigarettes from a friend and we came up here to smoke them because we knew no one would find us.” She laughed slightly, then her face hardened again. I could tell she was fighting her tears. She looked down at her feet as we took the next few steps. “At first I felt drunk and knew exactly why people liked smoking, but then neither one of us could breath on the way back. I felt so sick the next day. My mom thought I had the flu, I couldn’t tell her it was from the stupid cigarettes. That was the only time I ever smoked.” 

Then a tall, cement wall seemed to appear just off the trail from nowhere, strangely camouflaged by the dappled light filtering in through the trees and a heavy amount of graffiti.

“This is it.” She said and smiled in what felt like the first time in days. She squeezed my hand and then let go to jog up to the bunker. 

The bunker was nothing more than a series of small rooms created by tall cement walls without a roof. It felt a little like a cement maze. There were two very tall, chimney-like towers in the back that were bricked off from the rest of the structure. At the top of the towers, at tree height, was a viewing window that looked out toward the ocean. It wasn’t hard to imagine some poor army recruit being forced to stand in the narrow tower for hours looking out at the large empty sea, struggling between absolute boredom and the terror of imminent attack. The cement floor was heavily cracked and small plants were starting to press their way toward the break in the tree-top canopy. 

I stopped inside the first room to take in my surroundings, as Nicole ran ahead to check out all the rooms. I could imagine this would be a favorite spot for teenagers in which to hangout and get in trouble, but even the graffiti looked worn and weathered. 

When Nicole returned she wore a look of triumph. “It’s just like I remember it. I thought maybe it would have been torn down or fell in on itself by now.”

I looked up at the tall towers. “Have you ever been inside those?” I asked.

“No, they’ve always been barricaded off. We talked about breaking down the wall to see what was inside, but we guessed they were haunted and didn’t really want to test it.” 

She walked slowly up to me. The look in her eyes was fiery but welcoming. She stepped into my personal space, placed her hands on my hips, and kept walking, pressing me back until I up agains the cold cement wall. 

A voice inside me said that up against a dirty, old, potentially haunted wall was not the best place to get romantic. Before Nicole could lean in to kiss me, I placed my hands on her chest to stop her. 

“What?” She asked, more than a little worried.

“Not here.” I said. 

Nicole looked around her and then back down at me, “But this is where all the cool kids make out.” 

I laughed weakly and continued to press her back. “You’re gonna have to do better than this.”

Nicole looked back down at her feet and chuckled. “Fine. There’s a really cool view point at the end of the trail, it has a picnic area and another path down to the beach like at Surfer’s. How about there?”

“Show me the way.” I smiled back at her. 

 

The “way” ended up being far longer than I anticipated. The trail continued to wind along the top of the hill before steeply falling off in a series of short switchbacks. Some of the switchback turns were so tall, Nicole had to give me a hand to keep me from having to slide down on my butt. She laughed when I slipped in the soft soil, catching my arm before I hit the ground. Her hands on my hips, steadying me as I jumped off a boulder, felt warm and welcoming. It felt like she was finally coming back to me. Despite being tired and hungry with no clue as to where I was, I was glad she had suggested the hike. 

The trail ended at what looked like a small peninsula of raw Oregon coast. There were a handful of picnic tables in the grassy clearing that stretched out for about twenty feet before dropping off into another cliff down to the ocean. Nicole and I walked up to the edge of the cliff and looked down. There was a muddy path down to the shore, but there was hardly any beach at all. The narrow strip of exposed sand was covered by hundreds of large logs, trees that had fallen into the ocean and washed ashore at the cape. We decided to leave the beach alone and instead took a seat on top of a table that had been pulled closer to the edge of the cliff.

Nicole sat facing the ocean, her feet resting on the bench of the table. I sat next to her, wrapped my hands around her arm, and leaned into her shoulder.

“This is much nicer. Thank you.” I said, looking out at the cresting, gray waves in the middle of the ocean. 

“Yeah, I like this better, too.” Nicole agreed and rested her head on top of mine. 

“Do you feel like talking?” I asked. “Like talk-talking?”

“I don’t know what to say, Waves.” I felt her head roll side to side. 

I looked up at her and she lifted her head from mine, still looking out at the ocean. 

“Will you hold me?” I asked. I wanted to feel her close to me, the warmth and scent of her, her arms wrapped around me. I wanted to feel grounded in her.

“Of course.” She said, looking over at me. She smiled and waited for me to move. 

I stood up, climbed onto the table top, and sat in her lap, facing her, wrapping my legs around her hips and my arms around her neck. I pressed my whole body in and hugged her. Her arms naturally found their way around my back and held me tight. She rested her head against my neck. 

“What would you say to your mom, if she were here right now?” I asked.  
“Honestly.” Nicole paused. “I don’t know. I don’t want to say anything to her.” 

I accepted this answer, for now. “What would you say to John?”

Nicole’s hands gripped me a little tighter and I welcomed the contact, mirroring her hug. 

“I’d say, I’m sorry. I guess?” She spoke softly. “I’d say, you could have told me. I’d say, don’t do it.” She stopped and took a deep breath and pressed her mouth into my shoulder. “Everything I’d want to say sounds stupid and trite.” She shook her head slightly. “I don’t want to have to say any of those things to him. I’d want him to come over and we’d come up with a plan together. I’d want him to stay with me at my house and fuck what his parents think.” Her breathing became rougher, deeper. I felt her chest rise and fall sharply between us.   
“I’d want to not let him out of my sight until I knew he was ok.” Her grip tightened almost uncomfortably, “I’d want to meet his boyfriend.” Her voice broke. I placed a hand on the back of her head and held her to my shoulder. 

 

After a while, Nicole wiped her eyes on her hands and then shifted back on the table so that we were in the middle. Nicole spread her legs open and I lowered myself down onto the top. She wrapped her legs around my butt and I put my knees up in the air over her thighs. We brought our foreheads together and I played with the front of her t-shirt. 

“You know, you told me your most embarrassing life story, but I’ve never told you mine.” I wanted to keep the conversation going. 

“You don’t need to do that.” She said.

“Yes, I do, because it’s about my parents.” I stopped for a moment. There was no better time or place for this conversation. It had been so long since I told it, though, that it felt foreign despite being my own. 

Nicole let me take my time. She put her hands up behind my head and played with my hair. The sensation gave me goosebumps all down my back.

“So, my mom left my dad and me when I was four.” I paused, this was harder than I thought.

“Waverly…” Nicole started, but I cut her off.

“That’s not the embarrassing part. I hardly remember her now. If it wasn’t for pictures, I don’t know that I’d remember her at all. After she left, my dad starting drinking. I mean, he was always a bit of drinker anyway, but he started really drinking. He lost his job and had trouble keeping any new ones. After Mom left, I started to spend my weekends with Aunt Gus and Uncle Curtis, I didn’t understand why, but I’m sure he went on some pretty serious benders.” I tried to laugh at the thought, shaking my head. Then a memory hit me. My laugh fell off as a chill ran down me. 

“What’s wrong?” Nicole asked.

“Do you know that song by Dolly Parton, “Coat of Many Colors?”

“Ah, sure. Why?”

“I hate that song. I really hate it.” I looked into Nicole’s eyes. “Like, this would be a dealbreaker if you wanted to listen to it, hate it.” I again tried to laugh.

Nicole didn’t see the humor in my statement. I looked back down at her shirt.

“Well, I had this coat in first grade. It was dark blue. One day I tripped and tore the sleeve. Daddy tried to fix it, but all he could find was a pink work cloth. So he used the rag as a patch. He didn’t do a very good job, and I cried when I saw my jacket. He told me I should love it because it was pink and girls all like pink. He told me to shut up and stop crying about it, that if I was more careful I wouldn’t have needed the patch in the first place.” I took a deep breath. 

“When I wore it to school the next day, all the kids started making fun of me. They called it my coat of many colors and sang that song around me.”

“Kids can be really fucking mean. Even the cute, little six year old ones.” Nicole said, and it made me chuckle.

“Yeah. When Dolly Parton sings that stupid song, she makes it sound like it’s so sweet. God, I hate that song.”

“I promise, no Dolly Parton. Ever.” She lifted my chin so that I had to look at her. “Ok?”

I smiled at her. She was so beautiful. Her eyes held me as she leaned in to kiss me gently. 

She thought that was my embarrassing moment, and part of me wanted to leave it at that. Let that become my new most embarrassing moment, rewrite my history. But I knew as well as anyone, that you can’t rewrite history to suit your needs. Well, you can try, many have through the years, but it always backfires. 

“That isn’t it.” I started.

“What isn’t it.” She paused before she could kiss me.

“That isn’t my most embarrassing moment.” I rested my head on her chest and spoke to her stomach. “When I was in first grade, Daddy used to forget to pick me up from school. I’d be sent to the Principal’s office after all the other kids were picked up, and they’d call Aunt Gus to come get me. This happened quite a bit, the secretary knew me by name and had Aunt Gus’ number in her top desk drawer. 

“Anyway, one day I wasn’t the only kid who’s parent forgot to pick them up. He was an older boy that I didn’t know at the time. We both sat side by side in the office. His name was David. He was so scared, he started crying. I told him it was ok, it happened to me all the time and that Ms. Wilson would call someone from his list to pick him up. But he said his mom never forgot to get him. 

“We were sitting in the office for a long time. I realized it was taking a lot longer than normal for Aunt Gus to come get me. That and Ms. Wilson, who usually sat with me and talked to me as we waited, was in the office with the Principal the whole time. 

“Eventually Aunt Gus came in, but she was with a police officer and David’s dad. Everyone looked like they’d been crying. David’s dad ran up to him and picked him up. They were both crying and his dad carried him out. Aunt Gus walked up to me, by this point I was also crying, but she kissed my forehead and walked back into the Principal’s office with the police officer. 

“It turned out that my dad was drunk when he tried to drive over to the school to get me. He ran a red light and hit another car. He died and killed David’s mother at the same time.” 

Nicole tried to pull me into a hug, but I resisted. I looked up at her, and gave her a half smile. 

“It’s ok, it’s like it’s not even real anymore. Aunt Gus and Uncle Curtis are so much more like real parents than mine ever were. So it’s ok.”

“Nothing about that is ok.” Nicole said, surprised. 

“The worst part, the embarrassing part was knowing I was the kid of a murderer. I quickly learned not to tell anyone who didn’t already know. If I said anything at all, I said that he died in a car accident and left it at that. So I wasn’t really lying.”

“Waverly, you lost both parents.” She said, shocked.

“No, I lost two crappy parents and gained two really good ones.” I tried to think of how I could explain this. “I’m happier now with Gus and Curtis than I ever was with Daddy. I’ve had a long time to live with this, it’s really ok. In fact, you know the funny thing about that day. When Aunt Gus and the police officer went into the Principal’s office, I thought that the police were there to arrest me for being sent to the office too many times.” I looked up and laughed, but my face fell again.

Nicole stared at me with what I thought was so much pity in her eyes.

“Really, it’s ok. It’s not even real anymore.” Nicole looked like she didn’t believe me. “I promise, I’m ok.” Her eyes tried to argue with me. “Would you please stop staring and say something.” I was getting annoyed.

“I thought I was really strong.” She took a steadying breath. “I can’t even hold a candle to you.”

It wasn’t pity I saw in Nicole, it was admiration. In an instant, I was stripped bare.

Suddenly, I felt six years old again. “Why would you say that?” I asked.

“Because it’s true.” She leaned in to kiss me and I pulled away.

“My father got drunk and killed the mother of a classmate and you think that makes me strong?” Anger erupted and poured out of me. 

“The strongest.” Nicole accepted my anger without question, which made me angrier.

“I’m not strong; I’m a stupid, small town, statistic; a hick girl whose Daddy drank too much and drove. The only difference between me and the meth-head drop-outs in my school was that I didn’t get pregnant at sixteen. This doesn’t make me strong, this makes me stupidly lucky. And I’m terrified that someday you and everyone else will figure that out and leave me.” I grabbed her t-shirt and buried my face in it. “You’re going to realize I’m a monster and leave me.” 

I held onto her t-shirt like I fully expected her to get up and walk away from me. Instead, her arms pulled me in tight, a hand cradled my head, and I lost it.

When I calmed down, I could hear Nicole whispering my ear that she loved me, as she rocked me gently in her arms. 

I pulled back and looked at her through my swollen eyes, “You’re not afraid of me?”

Nicole shook her head, no. A loving smile grew across her face as she put a hand on my cheek and wiped away a tear. 

“Why do you love me?” 

“That’s easy. Because you are extraordinary.” And she leaned down and kissed me.

She held me for what felt like hours. Nothing else existed for a little while, but her warmth, the salty sea air, and the low, rumbling crash of the waves. 

 

Eventually, we had to leave. 

“Baby?” I asked.

“Uh huh.” She responded.

“I’m starving and exhausted.”

“Do you want to go?”

I nodded my head. Sheepishly, I look up at her and hesitated, afraid of my question, but her brown eyes were everything. “Will you make love to me tonight?”

“Baby,” her voice was deep and soft, “I already am.” And she pulled me back into her.

 

It turned out, her car was parked only a couple hundred yards down the road that ended at the picnic area. I had been worried that we still needed to hike our way back to the car, when Nicole laughed, took my hand, and walked with me on the side of the road.

“You mean, we could have driven right up to that spot?” I asked a little incredulous. 

“But then we wouldn’t have seen the bunker.” Nicole replied. 

I shook my head at her. “Next time, no death march before our heart-to-hearts. You are wearing me out.” 

“That’s what she said.” She laughed.

“Shut up, you horn-dog.” I playfully shoved her shoulder. She stopped in the middle of the road and pulled me into her. She wore the biggest grin as she placed her hands on my cheeks and pulled me into a kiss that reverberated through my whole body. 

“Wave, I would do anything for you.” She said as our lips started to pull apart. I pressed my mouth back into hers.

 

That night, as we lay in bed, Nicole’s head resting on my chest, her body half draped over mine, I ran my fingertips up and down her spine, tracing out the small, smooth curves of her vertebrae.

“Nicole?” I asked quietly.

“Yes.” Her voice was muffled by my skin.

“Do you still want to fly home with me?” I asked.

“Yes.”

“I know you don’t want to, but would you do something for me?”

I felt her chest rise up and fall sharply. “You want me to talk to my mom.”

“Yes.” I ran my fingers up the back of her neck and through her hair. Goosebumps erupted and rippled down her back.

“I don’t know what I’d say to her.” Nicole said.

“Maybe start with that.” 

She pressed a kiss into my chest. “At least it would be a quick conversation.” She said sarcastically.

“I’m serious, baby.” I ran my hand again up her back and watched for goosebumps.

“I am so mad at her.” She said. “She has completely denied everything about John’s life, his death, who he is.” She balled her hand into a fist on my stomach. “It’s like she helped murder him.”

“That’s what you need to tell her.” I said.

“I don’t know, Waverly. I don’t know what good it will do anyway. You saw her.”

“This isn’t for her, this is for you, for John.”

She took another deep breath.

“I’m really proud of you.” I said and kissed the top of her head.

“Quit trying to sweet-talk me.” She grumbled while hugging me.

“I love you.” I said and smiled.

“Fine. I’ll do it.” She relented. “God, you’re going to be the death of me.”

“Thank you.” I wrapped my arms around her, holding her to me. 

“Then I can come home with you?” She asked.

“I want that more than anything.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These last two chapters were difficult to write, but I love exploring the backstories of both characters. 
> 
> Your comments have meant the world to me, and I turn back to them frequently, especially when the writing gets hard.  
> So thank you.


	17. Reveling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh look, it’s hump day.

Chapter 17:  
Reveling 

 

Nicole woke me up the next morning as she tried to slip out from under me. Apparently, even in my sleep, I have a hard time letting her go. My arm was clutched around her stomach. Nicole laughed as she apologized for waking me and said that I was much stronger than I look.

When she crawled back into bed, I could smell the minty flavor of toothpaste on her breath. She leaned in to kiss me and I rolled away.

“Oh no. You don’t get to brush your teeth and then kiss me before I can.” 

Nicole grabbed me around my waist before I could slip out of bed, and pulled me back into her. 

“Please kiss me.” She said, pressing her lips into the back of my neck.

“Uh uh.” I shook my head.

“Please, baby. I don’t care about your breath.”

“No way.” I squirmed to get free and her hands gripped me even tighter, tickling my sides. I shrieked out and screamed, “No tickles, no fair!”

Her hands loosened. She gently held me and kissed my shoulder. 

I shifted around to face her. “Why do you always do that? When you tickle me, you always stop.”

“Because you asked me to,” she said.

“But you never push it, you never keep going and wait for me to call mercy.” I said.

“Waverly, if you ask me to stop, I will. Now, if you want me to keep going, you can ask me that, too.” She grinned down devilishly. 

“No thank you!” I quickly said and ran to bathroom. 

When I returned, Nicole was lying on the bed watching me, covers thrown off to the side. I crawled onto the end of the bed by her feet, leaned down, and kissed her ankle. A smile grew across her face. She was so beautiful. I straddled one leg and bent down to kiss her knee, letting one breast “accidentally” drag across her leg. This received a hum of approval. I moved up higher and lifted my head to watch her expression as I dipped down again and brought my breasts in contact with her thighs. I was rewarded with the cutest look of painful desire furrowing her brow. I kissed her stomach and pressed my breast against her sex. 

Her eyes closed as she said, “baby.”

I continued my slow climb up her body, kissing and pulling my breasts behind, until I reached her mouth. Her arms pulled me into her and held me in place as we kissed. 

When we parted, she grinned again and said, “That was worth the wait.”

“I’m glad,” I said and cuddled up at her side. I ran a finger back and forth from one of her breasts to the other. 

“What are you thinking?” Nicole asked.

I bit my lips and circled a nipple with my fingertip. “I was wondering...” I stopped, unsure of how to ask my question.

“What is it?” Prodded Nicole.

“Well, I don’t know how you feel about this...” I paused again, and lightly brushed my thumb over her stiffened nipple. 

“Waves, you can ask me anything.” Her voice was strong and clear. I looked up at her. Her eyes were smiling as she waited for my question.

“I was wondering if you could teach me how to be inside you.” I asked. 

“You want to fuck me?” She smiled.

“No, I want to make love to you, make you feel the way I do.” I clarified. 

“Well, yeah, I guess I could teach you. But can we talk about it a little first?” She asked. It’s funny, I thought she’d jump all over it, but her expression was a bit worried.

“What’s wrong? Don’t you like that?” I asked.

“Well, sort of. But I want you to know that I’ve never come that way. It’s ok, but it won’t get me off. Ok?”

“You’ve never had an orgasm that way?” I asked, surprised.

“No, and it wasn’t for lack of trying. I just don’t respond to it as much. That’s all.”

“Do you want me not to do it? We don’t have to do that, if you don’t want.” I was watching her. “I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

“No, it’s not that. I just don’t want you wasting your time and getting frustrated because I won’t orgasm.”

I leaned back and gave her a questioning look. “Did something happen to you?”

“No, no, nothing like that. It just doesn’t make me feel sexy. I would much rather be inside you, that makes me feel like I’m on fire. I love feeling you around my fingers as you melt into me. I just won’t get that same way with you inside me. I don’t want you to think it’s you, because it’s not.” 

“What does it feel like when you’re inside me?” I asked.

“I don’t know, it feels like I’m surrounded by the softest pillows and then you start to grip me and it’s like you’re hugging me deep inside you. Like you’re pulling me into you. It’s incredible. I don’t know how to describe it.”

“So, when you’ve tried it yourself, when someone was inside you, what did it feel like?” I asked.

“Honestly, it feels awkward. I feel like I should like it, but I don’t, so then I try to pretend that I like it, but that’s worse. So I just fake an orgasm to get out of it.”

“Have you ever faked an orgasm with me?” I asked.

“Oh God no. Baby, when you’re rubbing my clit and whispering in my ear, I feel like I’m flying.” She paused a moment. “Have you ever faked with me? It’s ok if you have. You’re not going to hurt my feelings. I’d want to know so I can change whatever I was doing.”

A huge smile blossomed over my face. I leaned up and kissed her. While her mouth was distracted, I reached for her free hand, lifted my leg slightly and brought her hand down onto my folds. 

She broke the kiss and rested her forehead on mine. “God, you’re wet.” 

“Uh huh. I can’t fake that.” I felt her breath speed up. “I want you inside me. Make me fly, baby.” I purred into her ear. Then I felt her sink two fingers inside me. I growled. I actually growled at her. 

She flipped us over so that she was on top and with the better angle she leveraged herself deep within me. With every thrust I was like a balloon being filled with air, pushed and pushed closer to my breaking point. 

“More!” I groaned.

“More?” 

“More fingers. More. Now!”

She stretched me wider as she pushed in a third finger. I cried out. The stretch was a little painful, but intoxicating. I felt like she was crawling into my body and I wanted to pull her in deeper. She continued a slow, measured thrust, rocking my whole body back and forth. I could feel her up through my stomach, she was reaching up to my lungs. I couldn’t get her deep enough. She started to twist her fingers carefully with each push in. It was magic. I loved it and wanted more. 

“More, baby. Give me more.” I whimpered. I could barely breath, I was so full of her. She pulled out slowly and the loss of her left me crying, “No!”

Then I felt her again. All four fingers twisting slowly, gently, waiting for me to open for her. I tried to relax my tightly wound body. I wanted to accept her into me. She started shallow, adding a little more pressure with every stroke. It was working, I was stretching out for her. My body was filling. As she worked her way deeper, I was filling back up. My balloon was stretched. 

The ridge of her knuckles was now pressing against my opening. It wouldn’t take much to push her inside, but she stopped as this point. Every thrust ended at the knuckles. I needed her deeper. So I timed my body with her thrusts. She pressed in and as the ridge hit my wall, I punched my hips up onto her hand and felt her slip inside. 

I screamed out. My body went rigid, so that I sat up on her hand. Then I disappeared. I left my body completely. 

When I crashed back down onto the bed, I slowly drifted back into myself. 

I heard Nicole yell out. “Holy shit! Holy shit, baby. Oh my God.”

I tried to open my eyes but the strain was too much. “What is it?” I panted out, trying to catch my breath.

“I felt you! I felt you squirt! I felt you come right into my hand.” She sounded surprised.

I started to laugh. 

“What’s so funny?” She asked.

“No, I’m not faking.” I continued to laugh. 

She tried to pull out of me, but I grabbed her wrist. “No, not yet. I want you inside me a little longer.”

“Baby, I think I’m starting to prune.” 

I laughed out so hard, I started to cry. I could hear Nicole laughing, too. 

 

After a couple minutes, she slowly worked her hand out of me. The loss of her created a vacuum within me.

“We have GOT to do that again.” I said, once she was freed.

“Ah, yeah!” She agreed.

“I think I left my body.” 

“Wait, I fucked you so hard, you had an out-of-body experience?” She asked, the pride was plainly written across her face.

I started to giggle. “Yes.” I said, and hugged her to me.

“Go me.” She said, smiling, relaxing into my embrace. Yeah, baby. Go you.

 

After breakfast, we went over to the library so that I could study for a while before I got too distracted by other activities. 

Nicole parked in the library’s lot. It was next door to City Hall, and that reminded me about Nicole’s promise to talk to her mom before we left on Saturday. That made me remember that we still needed to change her ticket and she needed to notify the Sheriff’s Department about her decision to leave early. We had a lot to do in the next day and a half, but I was so excited to be bringing her home with me. It felt like we had lived a lifetime in the last few days, and I wanted to get into the routine of our new life together. 

We got out of her car, and as I stood, I could feel the pull of the swelling she left behind in me. I tried to stand up straight, but couldn’t.

We took a few steps toward the library door, when Nicole said, “You’re walking a little funny there, baby.” She smirked at me smugly. “Everything ok?” 

I pursed my lips and shot her a very pointed look.

“You look like you just got off your horse, cowboy.” She added with a laugh.

“Are you calling yourself a horse?” I questioned.

She paused, trying to work it out. “Well, you did say you wanted to ride me.” 

“Oh, I think I did that.”

Nicole laughed and draped an arm around my shoulders. “Seriously, you’re ok? I don’t need to get you some ice or anything?”

“Can you kiss it and make it better?” I teased as we walked in the door.

“Oh yeah, absolutely.” She laughed.

 

As I studied, Nicole called her mom to make arrangements to see her that afternoon. We both agreed that sooner was better than later, as far as that was concerned. Plus, I reasoned that Nicole would have to confront her mom before we could pack her up to come home early. We could kill two birds with one stone. 

When Nicole found me at the table, she sat down next to me and started to gently rub my back. I felt goosebumps travel up and down my sides. I was so glad we could be open with our affection. I sat up and gave her a quick peck on the lips. 

“So I have some good news and weird news.” She said.

“Start with the good news.”

“Well, I heard from my surfing friend, Bryan, and he said the waves were good today and that there was a group of people heading out to Surfer’s Beach for the afternoon. They’re going to have a fire and picnic dinner, everything. He invited us to join them. He really wants to meet you.” 

“That sounds like fun, but did you talk to your mom?” I asked.

“That’s the weird news. She is fine with meeting us, and she suggested we come over soon. She also said that you agreed to try some of her crab salad?” Nicole looked very confused.

“Oh, yeah. That’s right. I forgot, after you fell asleep that night, I found your mom sitting in the kitchen. I thought she would want me to leave, so I offered to take a cab back to the hotel, but she told me I should stay. She actually said I was good for you.” 

“Wait! My mom said that?”

“Yes, and she also said she fucked up. I thought she might want a way to try and make it up to you, so I mentioned that you really liked her crab salad and that if she made it, I was a little curious to try it too.”

“My mom admitted to fucking something up? Are you sure it was her? She wasn’t body snatched, or something.”

“Nicole, the reason I want you to talk to you mom isn’t because I think you two can become best friends overnight. I think she really loves you and if she’s willing to do the work to repair this relationship, I think you should at least be open to it.” I took a breath and tried to collect my thoughts. “Before her little “family meeting,” you two were actually talking and laughing together. When you were talking about the dare to eat the raw onion sandwich, it was like you were actually mother and daughter. It was so sweet, I almost cried.” I placed a hand on her cheek and kissed her lightly again. “I just don’t want you to miss out on the good stuff, if there’s a way to repair the bad.”

“There’s a whole lot of bad there, Waverly.” 

“I know. Believe me, I know. I’m not looking for miracles, just a chance for you to say your peace, and if nothing else, pack up your stuff and we’ll be out; we’ll never look back.”

“That, I’m looking forward to.” 

 

When we stepped into her house, I was surprised by the abrasive smell of the seafood, and it made me question my decision to try it. I guessed Tabitha was successful in finding some crabs.

We walked into the kitchen and there on the counter were two HUGE crabs. They looked like creepy, giant spiders with hard shells and massive pinchers. My resolve to try one was quickly evaporating. 

Tabitha stood at her stove, a giant pot was on top under full heat. She was getting ready to add some salt to the water in the pot. 

“Hello,” she greeted us, she looked up at Nicole and then back down at the pot. She was wearing a sleek, navy suit and matching heels. 

“Mom, I appreciate the gesture,” Nicole pointed at the crabs, “but can we just get this over with.”

“I was hoping that you’d...” She stopped herself when she looked back up at Nicole and saw that her face was steeled. “Sure, let me go change.” She turned off the stove and slipped out of the kitchen. From the landing, she turned back to us, “Do you mind putting the crabs in the refrigerator, I don’t want them to go bad.”

“Sure.” Nicole replied curtly. She wrapped the crabs back up in their paper and placed them in the fridge before walking back into the living room. 

Nicole and I sat right next to each other. I wasn’t going to make the same mistake twice. I took Nicole’s hand and pulled it into my lap. Her typically warm hand was freezing cold, so I rubbed it between mine and gave her a reassuring smile. We could do this. 

Tabitha entered the living room in denim slacks and a polo shirt. She didn’t appear to be dressed for battle. 

Tabitha was the first to break the silence. 

“Honey, I’m glad you called. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, and I was wrong about how I handled telling you about John.”

“You mean you were wrong to tell me?” Nicole shot back.

Tabitha closed her eyes. “No, I was wrong for not telling you sooner. You are right. He was your friend and you deserved to know the truth.” She opened her eyes and looked directly at Nicole. “I just want to tell you why I did it...”

“Mom, I don’t want to hear why.” Said Nicole.

Tabitha looked away. She nodded her head, slightly. “What do you want to hear?”

“How about, you’re sorry!” Charged Nicole.

“I am sorry.” Tabitha replied.

“That’s too fucking easy.” Nicole gripped my hand hard as she stared down her mother.

Tabitha’s bottom lip began to quiver. “I don’t know how to make this right.” She said in a high voice.

“Maybe you can’t make this right.” Nicole was unswayed. 

Tabitha covered her mouth with her hand and took a sharp breath.

They sat there in silence, Nicole’s eyes locked on her mom, Tabitha’s focused on the ground. The tension in the room took up so much space, it was difficult to breath. I have never heard silence scream so loud. 

“I’m sorry, Nicole.” Her mom broke down. “I’m so sorry.” 

Nicole looked away. Her hand went limp in my own. 

“Why?” Nicole’s voice was still firm.

“I’m sorry you lost your friend.”

Nicole gripped my hand again and even though she was looking away from me, I could tell she had started to cry, too.

I put my arm around her shoulder and pulled her into me. She resisted at first, but I am stronger than I look, and I wasn’t going to take no for an answer. I pulled her shoulders toward me with both hands and she turned and buried her face in my lap. 

I ran my fingers through her hair, and draped my other hand protectively over her back. I didn’t look over at Tabitha. I kept my focus on Nicole, on the feel of her chest, rising and falling on my thigh, the grip of her hand around my knee, and the feel of her soft, red hair slipping through my fingers. I leaned over her body and lightly kissed the back of her head. Her hand squeezed my knee a little harder.

I heard Tabitha get up and I watched her walk out of the room. So much for making amends, I thought. 

I wrapped up Nicole in my body and held her. I was already mentally packing for Nicole when I heard Tabitha come back into the room. 

I looked up to see her standing before me holding out a box of Kleenex. She took out several for herself before handing the box to me. She had a weak smile and mouthed the words, thank you, to me. 

I continued to rub Nicole’s back and play with her hair as she slowly calmed down. When she was ready, she sat back up and I handed her the box of tissues. She looked at me surprised, wondering where they came from and I nodded toward her mom.

Tabitha was sitting back in the tan chair looking out the front window.

“Thanks.” Nicole said in a low voice. Tabitha turned back to face her daughter and smiled gently at her.

“Yesterday,” Tabitha’s voice was very soft, “I was thinking about what I could do to try and honor John’s life. I thought about making a donation to PFLAG in his memory. What would you think about that?”

“You can’t just throw money at this and make it go away, Mom.” Nicole answered, she wiped her eyes.

“I understand.” Tabitha nodded and looked back out the window. The silence grew again.

“Is there something that you think would be fitting for John? Maybe a grave marker, or a bench at the beach?” Tabitha asked.

Nicole looked around the room. I could tell she was trying to think of something. “I don’t know. I’d have to think about.”

“That’s fine.” Answered Tabitha. 

“Mom, I’m thinking about going home with Waverly on Saturday.” Said Nicole.

Tabitha turned to face her. “Honey. What about your internship?”

“It’s just a volunteer position. I think I need to head back, though.” Nicole used another tissue to wipe her nose and took a deep breath.

“But honey, you’re so close to completing it...” She stopped herself when she saw Nicole’s expression harden again. “That’s your decision. You should know that Deputy Brandon stopped by my office on Tuesday after the parade, he spoke very highly of you.” She paused again. “This was meant to be a surprise, but they were going to present you with a citizen action award for helping to solve the case earlier this summer. They were going to give it to you on your final day. Deputy Brandon stopped by so that he could invite me to attend the ceremony.”

“What?” Nicole asked. I looked over at her, she sat back in the couch and looked completely shocked.

“Deputy Brandon told me that they have never had a intern who made such a difference. The whole department wanted to recognize your work from the summer.” Tabitha added.

Nicole continued to sink back into the couch. 

“I’m really proud of you, Nicole.” Tabitha said. 

Nicole looked over at her mom, confused. “Thanks.” She breathed out, then she looked at me. I smiled at her and pulled her into a hug.

“Congratulations, baby. You deserve it.” I whispered in her ear, so that her mom wouldn’t hear. 

When Nicole pulled away, she looked at me questioningly. “Did you know about this?”

I shook my head and smiled at her, then rested my forehead on hers.

“Why don’t you take some time to think about it before you leave. I’d hate for you to miss out on your award because of me.” Tabitha said.

“So you’re ok with this now?” Nicole turned to her and asked, not believing her.

“Ever since you told me you were gay, I was afraid it was going to make you unhappy, make your life harder.” She looked at me. “But Waverly seems to make you happy; she’s able to comfort you in a way that I can’t anymore, that I haven’t been able to in a long time.” She turned away from us. “I wonder if, perhaps, I’ve been similarly naive about your desire to become a police officer.”

“Wow. That’s quite an admission, Counselor.”

“Well, I’m not saying it as an attorney, I’m saying it as your mom.”

Nicole nodded her head. “I think I need to talk to Waverly.”

“Of course. Would it be ok if I start the crab salad? Would you still be interested?”

Nicole looked over at me. I nodded my head. “Sure,” she said. Then Nicole stood up, held out her hand to me, and helped me rise from the couch. She kept ahold of my hand and led me to her bedroom.

Once inside, Nicole closed and locked the door. I leaned on the edge of her desk, and she stood between my legs, resting her hands on my hips and her forehead on mine. 

“What do you thing about all this?” She asked.

“You mean about the award or your mom?” I asked.

“Both, either?”

“You deserve the award. Do you think you can get along with your mom for another couple weeks?” 

“Three weeks, but who’s counting.” 

“What do you think?” I asked.

“I didn’t know about the award. That’s pretty cool, if it’s true.”

“You believe your mom made that up?”

“I don’t know what to believe.” She stopped herself and looked up at the ceiling. “No, I don’t think she made it up. Just convenient timing to keep me here, is all.”

“When we saw Deputy Brandon on the Fourth of July, he said the same thing to you, I mean about being a hard worker.”

“True.”

“Do you want to stay?” I asked.

“I’d want you to stay, too.” She brought her hands up around my neck.

“I can’t, baby. I’d love to, but I have finals.” I reminded her.

“I know. This isn’t fair. I want to stay with you; go where you go, and all that crap.”

I smiled at her, “You have such a way with words.”

Nicole chuckled. 

“How bad would it be, if I stayed?” she asked me, and from the look in her eyes, she was placing this decision into my lap like a giant sack of potatoes. I knew what I wanted, but I knew what I should want for her. I knew my heart would break into a million pieces, just like I knew it would be ok, we’d get through this like we got through the last two days. It looked like forever, but it was only three weeks. 

But I really didn’t want to say that out loud. Out loud felt way too real just then. I needed to hold on to the fantasy that she was coming home with me, that we weren’t going to be separated again. For the last two days, since she first suggested it in our hotel room, my heart clung desperately to this simple picture of Nicole and I sitting next to each other on the plane home. That single image gave birth to a hope that was as stubborn as it was impulsive. I wanted her home.

So as Nicole watched me and waited for my answer, I felt that hope pulling at my chest, jumping on my lap, and grabbing my ankles. I tried to free myself from that image, the airplane taking off with her hand in mine, her cheek next to me as we both looked out the window, so that I could tell her to stay. 

But I couldn’t. The words were too heavy to even get them from my throat. They sank back down in my gut and the only thing I could get out were tears. It was enough, though, because she understood.

 

When we came back into the kitchen, the crabs were boiled and sitting out on the counter to cool. They honestly didn’t look any more appetizing cooked. Tabitha was chopping up lettuce and carrots into a small dice.

“Once the crabs cool, I could use some help getting the meat out of the body,” she looked up at us, then especially at me. “Everything ok?”

I could feel that my eyes were still a little puffy. 

“Yes,” Nicole responded. She pulled me into a hug and said, “I think I’m going to stay.” I rested my head on her chest and watched Tabitha. She nodded her head and turned back to her chopping. 

I was going to be ok with this. This was the plan all along. But I definitely knew what Nicole meant at the dunes when she said she was feeling greedy. I felt greedy, too.

Nicole took my hand and walked me over to the crabs. She tentatively touched the leg of one crab to see how hot it was. It must have cooled down enough for her to handle because she grabbed it and with a quick twist and pull, the leg came free in her hand. 

I shrieked and jumped back away from her and the creepy, giant, spider leg that was now in her hand. 

“What?” She asked, her brow furrowed. 

“Keep that spider leg away from me.” I kept backing up.

“This is the best part.” She tried to explain, and then, to my horror, she stuck the end of the leg into her mouth and sucked on it.

I cringed and turned away from her. “I am never kissing those lips again.” I called out. Just then I heard Tabitha snort, we both turned to see her laughing and she quickly apologized. 

Nicole stuck the crab leg back in her mouth and started to walk toward me with it dangling like a gruesome cigar. “So help me God, if you come any closer to me with that thing, you’re sleeping here alone tonight.” I quickly said. I was backed up against the wall.

“Careful Nicole, I’d believe her.” Tabitha said, enjoying the banter. 

Nicole smiled so wide it felt like a breath of fresh air. She took the leg from her mouth and put it down on the counter. “Come and give me a kiss.” She said.

“No!”

“One little smooch?”

“No, not until you wash out your mouth.”

“I thought you were willing to try it?”

“Maybe, but I don’t want to be a part of dismembering it.”

“Ok, I’ll dismember, if you try.”

“Fine.” 

“Waverly, if you really don’t want to try it, I have a veggie burger leftover from the other night. I could make up some of the salad without the crab and you could break up the veggie burger into it instead.” Tabitha offered. 

I looked over at Tabitha and felt a wave of gratitude. “I think I’d appreciate that.” I faced Nicole again, “I’ll try one bite of crab, but no guarantees after that.”

“Ok.” Nicole laughed.

 

The veggie burger salad was actually far tastier than the veggie burger itself, but I lost my appetite watching the ever growing pile of leg carcasses in front of Nicole. Tabitha was a more delicate eater of the crabs, but she had a sizable pile of empty leg parts in front of her, too. But Nicole, wow! Nicole could really put them away; she tore into them like they were candy bars on Halloween night. 

At one point, she glanced up from her gluttonous feast, a bit of crab meat on the edge of her lips, and asked, “What? Do you want some more?”

I cringed at my carnivorous girlfriend and shook my head. We’d need to talk about this when we both got home. How were we going to work out the living and eating arrangements? It was crystal clear that I was not going to suddenly start cooking meat-laden meals, but she looked like she was in ecstasy. 

“Well, I’m not going to let them go to waste.” She said.

“Live it up now, because when you get back, you’re going on a strict diet of tofu.” I said.

Nicole choked on her crab and her face quickly burned bright red. Then I remembered back to the first time we shared a meal together, and my description of tofu. I could feel my own cheeks warm up as I patted her gently on the back.

“You ok?” I asked.

She swallowed her bite down and nodded, still blushing furiously. 

Fortunately, Tabitha seemed to take the comment on face value. “Tofu isn’t that bad. I actually really like it myself.” 

Nicole immediately buried her face in her hands and placed her head on the table. Her shoulders were shaking and her ears were bloodshot. 

“See, even your mom likes tofu, honey.” I struggled to keep my face straight, and rubbed her back. “Are you even breathing?” I asked.

Nicole shook her head in her hands.

As Nicole caught her breath, she sat up and her face resembled a tomato. “Sorry,” she mumbled. She blew out a slow breath, “Yes, Waverly, I’m fine with eating more tofu when we get home.” She looked over at me and we both tried to stifle our laughter.

“You two” Tabitha said and shook her head. “I’ll be impressed, Waverly, if you can get her to go vegan with you. She’s just like her father in that way, he was a big meat eater, too.”

“Mom!” Nicole begged.

“What! I’m just saying...” 

 

So the crab feast turned out to be a success, even if it wasn’t my thing, and we may have learned more about Tabitha than either one of us wanted to know. We left that afternoon without bags packed for Nicole, but hopefully the start of a new openness between her and her mother. Then we headed to Surfer’s Beach.

 

From the top of the cliff above the beach, I could see five people out on surfboards floating in the waves, but not doing much. There were a couple more people on the beach, both in wetsuits and they had a small fire started on the dry sand closer to the cliff. We climbed down, and joined them. 

Nicole knew one of the surfers on the beach. Bryan was out on his surfboard, but I met his girlfriend, Meg, by the fire. She was about my height and wore a full-body wetsuit, though it was unzipped in the back and pulled down to her waist. She had on a sports bra style bikini top. She was really beautiful, with dark hair and dark eyes. Her olive toned skin made her look perfectly tanned. Her long hair was pulled back in a messy, wet ponytail at the base of her head, and she had an easy smile. She looked like what I thought a surfer should. 

“Hey Nicole, good to see you again.” Meg said with a huge smile.

“Likewise, this is my girlfriend, Waverly. Waverly, this is Meg. She and Bryan have been really awesome to me this summer.”

“Yeah, she would not shut up about you.” Meg looked at me. “It got really tedious.” Meg laughed at Nicole, patting her shoulder. Nicole hung her head.

“Well she told me about you all too. Thank you for taking such good care of my baby.” I wrapped my arms around Nicole’s waist and hugged her.

Meg fake vomited and then turned to Nicole. “She really is sweet as pie, isn’t she?” 

“Yes, she is.” And Nicole pulled in me into her. 

The thought of Nicole boring her friends talking about her far off girlfriend melted me. I buried my deliriously happy grin into her chest. 

“Ok, you guys do that.” She gestured at us. “I’m going to surf.” She pulled her wetsuit over her head and zippered it up, then grabbed her board and jogged out to the water. I watched as she threw her board down on the surface of the water when she was about waist deep and rolled onto her board. She crashed through a few breaking waves and then paddled out to the calmer water where the other surfers were also sitting on their boards and waiting for a wave.

We were alone on the beach at this point. Nicole set out a towel for us and pulled a large blanket from her bag, too. I sat down in between Nicole’s legs and she wrapped the blanket over her shoulders. The ends of it were long enough to cover all of our legs with our knees bent up. 

Her arms were holding the blanket around my knees, and she used her nose to push my hair off my neck so that she could rest her head next to mine on my shoulder. 

We were both looking out at the ocean, watching the silhouettes of the surfers against the slowly setting sun. 

“Are you really going to be ok if I stay?” She asked in my ear.

I wrapped my arms over her thighs that rested against my sides under the blanket. “I want you to get your award. I really want you home with me, but I think you should stay for that. It’s important and you earned it.” I said back. “I’ll survive a few more weeks.”

“I don’t want you to just survive.” 

“Nicole, I’ll have a lot going on, I have finals. And Laura is leaving, so I need some time with her. I’ll be ok.”

“So you’re not going to miss me?” She joked.

I pushed my back into her. “Of course I am, silly. But, I’m guessing it will be easier now.”

“Why?”

“Because our relationship will be more than just a bunch of phone calls and a couple pictures that I stole from your apartment.”

“You stole some of my pictures? Which ones?” She asked, pressing her lips into my neck.

“I love the one of you on the mountain top with your arms wide open.”

“Yeah,” I could feel Nicole grin against my neck. “That was spring break last year, a bunch of us went camping in the Smokey Mountains.” She hugged my legs a little tighter. “It was freezing, but a lot of fun.” 

“I’m not much of a camper.” I blurted. Somehow this felt more like a confession than a statement. “Actually, I’ve never been camping before. Like sleeping in a tent and all that.”

“That’s ok, Wave.” She kissed my neck again. “If you don’t want to camp, we don’t have to.”

“Well, it’s not that I don’t want to, it’s just that I’ve never done it before. You’d have to show me what to do. And I don’t have ANY camping stuff.”

“Oh my God, you would be so cute in a flannel with a pack on your back.” Nicole started.

“I’m serious.” I whined.

“So am I. Do you have any idea how much fun we could have with a sleeping bag in a tent.”

I started to giggle and buried my head in my knees. I rolled my head to the side to look back at Nicole. “Is sex all you ever think about?”

“Only when I’m with you.”

“Horndog.” I said, sarcastically.

“Honestly, this past week has been amazing. Like really incredible. But I’m also looking forward to rubbing your feet as you study, holding your hand as we walk through campus. What I’m looking forward to the most, however, are the moments when I look up and there’s the most gorgeous woman in the world walking to ME, and you’re smiling at ME, hugging ME. And I know I’m the luckiest person alive.”

“Aww, baby.” I said softly, pressing back into her.

“That’s what I think about all the time. You know what I thought when I heard the first voicemail message you left for me?”

“What?” I smiled as I asked.

“You’re mine.”

“Feeling a little sure of yourself, honey?” I said.

“I know that sounds really possessive, but it was more like, I had this chance, the chance was mine, and I was going to do whatever it took to earn you, to deserve you.”

“You didn’t think you deserved me?” I asked.

“I wanted to make sure I deserved you. I wasn’t going to let this chance slip away.”

“Baby, you know we’re definitely going to have sex tonight, you don’t need to keep saying things just to guarantee it.”

“Oh good, because I was starting to run out.” She pulled me into a bear hug. 

 

When the sun sat low on the horizon, the surfers all came in and we built up the camp fire. Bryan and Nicole collected more drift wood to keep the fire going. The rest of us set out the food and drinks. Once the fire was burning strong, Bryan walked over to a cooler and pulled out a couple beers. He offered one to Nicole who sat down by my side on the towel.

“No thank you,” she shook her head. 

Then he held it out to me. I shook my head and politely declined. 

Before I could turn to Nicole to let her know she could have one if she wanted because I wouldn’t be drinking, Nicole spoke up.

“Hey, you all have a designated driver picked out?” She asked her friends. My jaw almost hit the floor.

“Um, actually, that’s a good point.” Bryan looked down at Meg. She already had a beer open. “Why don’t I drive tonight.” He said, and put both beers back down in the cooler. “So what started this?” He looked back at Nicole.

I felt a flash of cold panic hit me- please don’t tell them about me, Nicole, that was super private. 

Nicole took my hand and pulled it into her lap and gave it a gentle squeeze.

Again I thought, please don’t say anything.

“Well, I am a future cop, so I should start getting used to insisting that my friends not break the law.”

“Fair enough,” replied Bryan. 

I looked over at Nicole completely enamored. She smiled warmly at me, leaned over, and kissed my cheek. 

I stared at her in wonder. How did I ever deserve her? 

She watched me and brought her eyes brows together in that cute crinkle. 

I bent in like I was going to kiss her cheek and instead spoke softly in her ear. “Make love to me.” I saw her draw in a deep breath.

She rose and made our excuses, quickly packed the towel and blanket back in her bag, grabbed my hand, and practically pulled me up the trail behind her. 

When we got back to the car, Nicole tossed the bag in the back, then grabbed me, lifting me up and pressing me into the side of the car for a kiss. “I want you.” She rasped between kisses.

“Baby, car. Drive.” Was all I could get out.

I still had my back against the car when we pulled apart, panting. She looked at me and we both started laughing. 

“Right. Drive.” We were both reduced to monosyllabic language.

Once in the car, I couldn’t keep my hands to myself. She was valiantly trying to keep us on the road as I ran my hand firmly up her thigh, pressing it hard into her center as I reached the top.

“Baby, you’re gonna make me wreck.” She couldn’t catch her breath. 

So I reluctantly took my hand off of her and instead started running both of my hands up my own thighs, spreading my legs open, and teasing myself.

“NOPE, NOPE, NOPE!” She shook her head. “That’s worse.”

I giggled at her frustration. “You know what I want to do?” I teased in my sexy voice.

“Stop talking until we get back to the hotel?” She asked hopefully. 

“Not a chance.”

“Oh fuck. I am so turned on, I can’t even see straight.” She admitted.

“That might explain why you’re going seventy in a forty five mile an hour speed zone.” I laughed at her. I placed my hand on her cheek and ran my thumb back and forth over it.  
“Are you calling mercy?” I asked.

“Yes, please. At least until I’m done driving.” 

“Ok,” I said, soothingly. I kept my hand on the side of her head, though, lightly running my fingers through her hair.

Frankly, I was surprised we held out all the way to the elevator.


	18. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Home is where the heart is.

Chapter 18:  
Home

 

I woke up the next morning as Nicole’s little spoon. I took her hand that was draped over my side and pulled it up between my breasts. I heard her hum behind me and she pulled me closer. Her hand started to wander.

“Baby?” I asked.

“Yeah.” She spoke into the back of my head.

“Is it ok if we just cuddle this morning?”

“Of course.” She said and brought her hand back under mine on my chest. “Is everything ok?”

“I think I just want to hold you this morning. This is the last morning I can do this for a while. Tomorrow, we’ll be busy getting me to the airport, so I just want to feel you close to me this morning.”

“That sounds nice. I like cuddles.” She said.

I rolled over and Nicole stretched out so that I could rest my head on her chest. I listened to the sound of her heartbeat. I couldn’t believe that tomorrow I’d be flying home and I wouldn’t be able to hear it again for three more weeks. I didn’t want to leave the bed at all. I wanted to lie there all day and memorize her body. I wanted to carry the smell of her home with me embedded in my skin. 

She lightly raked her nails up and down my back. It made me shiver. 

“What are you thinking about?” She asked me quietly.

I traced a circle on her stomach. “I want to memorize everything about you before I leave tomorrow.”

The hand that was scratching my back stopped and embraced my side as her free hand came up to hold my head. I felt her kiss the top of it.

“Can I ask you something?” Nicole spoke into my hair.

I looked up at her and rested my head on her shoulder. I traced out her collar bone. “What?”

“Do you want to move in with me?” She asked.

I let the question sit on our chests. I’d thought about it a little when I was spending so much time in Nicole’s apartment at the beginning of the summer. It was more about wanting to be close to Nicole, but this was different. This felt more permanent. 

There were still so many questions I had. What about next year when Nicole graduated and I still had another year. Should I try to graduate early? Where would we go next? What if something happened to us? What if we broke up? 

I wouldn’t allow Champ to move in with me because I knew he’d be a distraction. Should I be worried about Nicole distracting me, or would I distract her? 

“What’s going through that beautiful brain of yours?” She asked, pushing my hair back with her fingers.

“I don’t know.” I put my head back down on her chest. “I want to say yes, but what if something happens to us? Or what will happen when you graduate and I still have another year? And what will we do with all my stuff? And I like my apartment, it’s so much closer to campus. I like being able to walk to most places...”

“Waverly?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m just asking. It’s only a question. We don’t have to. I mean, I want to, but if you don’t- that’s ok.”

“I want to say yes, but I don’t know. I don’t know what it will mean.”

“I want to spend every night with you. That’s what it means for me. I want to wake up next to you every morning. I don’t really care where that happens.”

“I want that too.”

“Plus, I know you haven’t been working as much as you planned this summer and I thought maybe it would help if we moved in together. My mom pays for my apartment, then you wouldn’t have to worry about rent.”

Internally, I groaned. I didn’t really like the idea of being indebted to Tabitha like that. “Are you making me a kept-woman?”

“No. Waves, I want to make this as easy for you as I can. And selfishly, I want you with me.” She buried a kiss into my hair. “Every time you say the word ‘home,’ I want that. I want a home with you, I don’t care where it is or what that looks like. You are my home.”

“What if we split the rent? That way I’m helping out.”

“You know you don’t need to.”

“I’d feel better about it.” I said.

“Whatever you need. So is that a yes?” Her arms pulled me tight into her.

“Maybe.” I still felt a little unsure.

“Why maybe?”

I wasn’t sure what my hangup was. This week was wonderful, but it also felt like a bubble. Being back at school would be different, more real.

“Baby, talk to me.” She said.

“This has been like a honeymoon, but that means everything is going to be different when we get back.” I ran my finger in a circle on her stomach. “Are you worried about that?”

“No.” She sounded so sure, I was a little jealous of her confidence in us. Or not really us, but our future. 

“Have you ever lived with a girlfriend before?” I asked.

“No, I never dated anyone long enough to want to. I guess it never felt right before.”

“Then how do you know you want to live with me?” I asked.

“I just feel it. You feel right.”

I understood that. Nicole felt right. It felt like I’d known her forever. And still it was so new, everything was so new. Maybe that’s where my anxiety came from. In Oregon, our relationship was everything- the whole world. But back at home, I was a friend, a student, I was a niece, an ex-girlfriend, and straight. To almost everyone back at home, I was still straight. Even my aunt and uncle didn’t know. They had to no clue what was going on with me this summer. 

It hit me like a ton of bricks. I needed to come out to Aunt Gus and Uncle Curtis. Oh shit!

I sat up in bed and stared at Nicole in a panic. 

“What is it, baby?” She sat up as well, and ran a hand through my hair. 

“I have to come out to Aunt Gus and Uncle Curtis.” The truth felt like a rock in my stomach. I couldn’t move in with Nicole before I came out to my family. It felt backwards and like I was a kid playing house with friends. But I wasn’t playing, and I needed to do this the right way.

“I can’t move in with you until I come out to Aunt Gus and Uncle Curtis. I want this to be real. I don’t want to hide it from anyone. But I need to talk to them first.”

“Ok.” She said.

“Ok?”

“Ok, let’s tell Uncle Curtis and Aunt Gus.” She continued to run her hand through my hair. “I want to meet them anyway.”

“You do?”

“Sure. They’re important to you, then they’re important to me.” She said.

“But I don’t know how they’ll react.”

“Even more reason to do it together.”

“What if they hate me after?” I asked.

Nicole took a deep breath. “Then we’ll deal with it. My mom didn’t like it when I came out. She didn’t get angry and throw things, but she didn’t accept it. She tried to argue me out of it.” Nicole shook her head and laughed. “She may be a good lawyer, but she isn’t that good.”

“Nicole, what if they get mad; what if they kick me out. I don’t want you to see that. I don’t want that to be how you meet them.”

“Waverly, I love you no matter what. If they don’t like it, that’s on them. We’ll figure it out. I’m here for you.” She put her hands on my cheeks and lifted my head so that I was looking at her. “You won’t be alone.”

“Maybe I should do it alone. What if they feel like I’m ambushing them, if I bring you with me.”

“You don’t need to worry about them. Think about what you need. If you want me there, I’ll come with you. If you need to be on your own, you can do it on your own, but I’ll still be there.”

“I think I should do this on my own. I think it will be better. Maybe I can do it when I go home, before you come back. Get it out of the way, then when you get back, we can move on together.”

“Waves, you really don’t have to do this on your own. I want to be there with you, even if it’s waiting in the car.” She looked scared. “I don’t want you to be alone.”

“Is this because of John? Are you worried about me because of John?” I asked.

“What?”

“I’m not going to hurt myself, Nicole. Even if they hate me, I’m not going to hurt myself. And I still have you, right?”

“Of course. You always have me. I just want to be there for you. I don’t want this to be like Gracie’s. I want to be there for you. I don’t want to mess this up.”

“You didn’t mess anything up, baby.”

“I don’t want you to be alone. I felt so alone when I did it, I don’t want you to feel that way.”

“Nicole, I’m not alone. I know that.” I leaned forward and kissed her. When did this turn from her comforting me to me comforting her? “Nicole, I love you. And I want to do this the right way. I can come out to them, maybe after finals. Then you can come home and we’ll start this the right way, totally open. No hiding from anyone. I want that.”

“I want that, too.” She kissed my cheek. “I want everything.” She kissed my neck. “I want the good.” She kissed my collar bone, her hands slid up around my back. “I want your bad,” her lips grazed my chest, “I want your everything. I want your breasts.” Her lips traveled back up my neck. “May I taste your breasts?” Her tongue brushed my neck and a shudder ran down my body. 

“Yes.” I shifted so that I pulled her on top of me as I lay back down. Her lips traveled down my neck. I ran my fingers through her hair. She kissed her way down my chest to my nipple. 

“May I touch you?” She asked. Of course I wanted her to touch me. But I also didn’t.

“Baby, will you just hold me for a bit?” I pulled her up by her shoulders so that she was lying on top of me, and I could wrap my arms around her back. 

I waited a few moments, feeling her chest press down into mine as she was breathing into my neck.

“Is this ok?” I asked.

“Yes.” She sounded a little disappointed or tired or confused. It was hard to tell without looking her in the eyes. 

“I think I’ll come out to them after finals. That way when you get home, it will be all about you. I can focus on you and us. We can move in and be big old lesbians together.”

Nicole snickered. “Like wearing Birkenstocks?”

“Stop shaving.”

“No more bras.” She suggested.

“I don’t know, that might hurt. How about we ride motorcycles instead?” I asked.

“We could eat nothing but granola.”

“And tofu.” I added.

Nicole laughed into my neck and kissed me gently. “I think I’m going to develop a real taste for tofu, living with you.”

My face flushed as I laughed. 

“I’m not crushing you, am I?” Nicole asked, trying to slide herself off to the side.

I held onto her body tightly and turned my head to kiss her cheek. “I’ve got you right where I want you.” 

We snuggled and talked about how to be big old lesbians until hunger got the best of us and we were forced to get up and leave the hotel room.

We grabbed sandwiches from Monica’s and drinks from Dutch Brothers. We talked about walking along Surfer’s Beach, but I said that I was hoping to head back to the hotel and continue our naked day. 

“Hmm, I like the sound of naked day.” Nicole said. “Maybe this can be a tradition we have back at school. Once a month, we don’t leave the apartment, close up the windows and just have a naked day.”

“I love it.” I pressed a kiss into her hand holding mine as she drove us back to the hotel. 

When we got back into our room, Nicole cranked up the heat and we both quickly stripped down to nothing. We pulled out our food onto the bed, and it hit me how comfortable I had become not only with being naked in front of her, but Nicole being naked with me. It wasn’t a sexual thing, but a trusting and open thing. It was about having nothing to hide with her. It was about feeling really beautiful and unashamed with her. That made it even more powerful than coming apart with her inside me. 

We decided to watch Netflix on my computer while eating, and an ad popped up for a new TV show offered by the streaming site.

“Who’s Wynonna?” Asked Nicole.

“I have no idea. Do you want to watch Supergirl?” I asked.

“Like you need to ask. I totally ship Sanvers.” Said Nicole.

“Aw, me too.” I said.

Nicole nudged me, “And you didn’t know you were gay?” 

“Shut up and eat your sandwich.” I grumbled, as Nicole laughed and kissed my shoulder.

 

After lunch and a snuggly Netflix-fest, Nicole said that she had something to give me. 

“The best years of your life?” I asked, kissing her lightly.

Nicole smiled, “Yes, but that’s not it.”

“You want to give me everything tonight?” I wrapped my arms around her.

“Closer, Pitbull.” Nicole rolled on top of me.

“Give me one reason?” I asked.

“Ooo, Tracy Chapman, nice!”

“Baby, I got your number.” I sang.

“Oh and I know that you’ve got mine.” Nicole joined me.

“I love that song.” I said, brushing her hair from her face.

“Again, you didn’t know you were gay?” Nicole teased. I flashed her a pointed look. “Seriously, I want to give you something.” She slid off of me and pushed herself from the bed.

“I was thinking about this when we decided that I was going to stay in Oregon.” She was searching through her bag on the other bed. When she stood back up, she had something small hidden in her hands.

“Are you proposing to me? Because if you are, I want to put on clothes.”

“Why would you need clothes on?” She asked.

“Because, silly, everyone will ask how it happened and I’m not very good at lying.”

“Oh,” Nicole nodded. “Good point. I’ll keep that in mind, but no, I’m not proposing.”

“So what’s in your hand, then? Tell me, tell me, tell me.” I asked.

Nicole’s head fell. “You’re not making this very easy.” She laughed.

“No. I’m not.” I teased, then rolled out onto my back and spread open my legs. 

“Jesus.” 

“Show me what you’ve got, baby.” I lowered my voice.

“Ah...” she stammered.

“Show me what’s in your hands.” And I ran my own down my body.

“Um... It can wait.” She said, twisting around to put whatever it was back in her bag. 

“Nicole Marie, get over here and show me what you have.” I insisted.

“I never should have told you my middle name.” She shook her head smiling, stepping up to the bed.

“Nicole” I pressed my toe against her stomach. “Marie” I dragged it down. “Haught” I rested my foot against her pubic bone. “What do you have for me?”

Nicole lifted my foot from her and spread my legs open enough for her to climb in and rest her hips between them. She propped up her head on one hand, while the other still held her little secret. She looked up at me and slowly opened her free palm over my chest. A small gold chain pooled between my breasts. I lifted it up to see it more clearly.

“Baby!” I said in surprise when I saw the small gold heart. “Isn’t that the necklace your dad gave you?”

Nicole nodded with a sweet smile.

“But that’s yours, you shouldn’t give it to me.” I said, shocked.

“My dad told me I’d always have his heart, but now I want you to have my heart.”

“Baby, I can’t. This is too special.” The pendant twisted on the chain.

“Then take it with you. Keep it safe for me. Give it back when I get home.” She sat up and fastened the necklace around my neck, then leaned in and kissed me. I held her head to me and continued the kiss.

When she pulled away, she asked, “Is the offer still open?”

“The offer?” I asked.

“To show you what I’ve got.” She smirked.

“I was thinking maybe I can show you what I’ve got.” I started to slide my hand between us. “Is this ok?” 

Nicole nodded and said, “Yes.”

My fingertips hit her mound. “I want you to grind on me.” I said in her ear.

Nicole’s head dropped onto my shoulder and I felt her hips roll forward. The motion caused my fingers to slip into her labia and over her clit. She was soaked. Nicole rolled her hips again.

“I love the way you feel. So wet for me.” I spoke into her neck.

Nicole’s hips pushed back up, rocking over and over. 

“That’s right, baby, use my fingers.” 

Nicole moaned as her hips found a slow rhythm. I brought my free hand to the back of Nicole’s head and tangled my fingers in her hair. 

“Use my hand.” I whispered into the top of her head, and tried to add a circling motion. 

Nicole lifted her head off of my shoulder and pressed my lips in a fierce kiss. Her hips began rocking harder into my hand, my fingertips easily gliding over her swollen clit. 

I broke the kiss to croon into her ear, “God, you’re so big. You’re so wet.” She let out a gasp. “I can barely keep my fingers in the right place. Am I doing this, right?” I purred.

“Yes.” Her hips began moving faster.

“Do you like it when I circle you?” I teased.

“God, yes.” 

“Do you like coming in my hand?” I continued.

“Baby?” Her face was screwed up in concentration. Her hips pushing so hard, she was rocking my whole body.

“Or would you like to feel my mouth?”

Her whole body went rigid and her eyes shot open, shocked and pleading. I used the unfettered access to circle her into an orgasm. She collapsed onto my chest with a moan.

As her aftershocks slowed, I whispered into the top of the head, “Baby, I want to taste you.”

She groaned and another quake hit her body. 

“I want you to teach me how to make you come in my mouth.” I said.

Another quake. “That’s not fair. I want to taste you, now.” 

“Uh uh.” I shook my head in her hair. “Still my turn.”

“How about I teach by example.” She spoke into my breasts.

“Now there’s a thought.”

 

Later that afternoon, while Nicole was asleep, I slipped into the bathroom and called Laura to confirm that she was still able to pick me up from the airport the next day. I told her that I had some big news to discuss with her on the way home.

“Oh my God, did you two get married?” Laura asked.

“No!” I said. “Really? That’s your first guess?” 

“Well, I’ve heard lesbians move fast. Like- what do lesbians bring on their second date? A U-haul.” Said Laura.

“Ha ha, very funny.” I said.

“So, spill. What’s the big news?”

“I’ll tell you tomorrow.”

“No, you cannot tease me and make me wait for tomorrow night. Spill.”

“Ok, I’m thinking about moving in with her.”

“So the U-haul joke- not so funny.” Laura said.

“Uh, no. But it’s way past our second date.” I said.

“Um, not really. You went out for beer and then you went out to Oregon and now you’re moving in. That’s like your third date.”

“Fuck you.” I laughed.

“Ah, see, you love me.” Said Laura. 

“So you’ll be there tomorrow?” I asked.

“With bells on. And I want to hear all about your trip. Well, not the gross parts, but all the rest.” She paused. “You did do something other than sleep with her, right? I should ask that first.”

“Very funny. Yes, we did a lot of stuff that didn’t involve sex. Oh and by the way, making love to her is not gross, it’s beautiful.”

“Whatever. Just checking. I want to make sure we have something else to talk about.” said Laura.

“See you tomorrow.” I said.

“I’m glad you had a good time. Talk to you tomorrow, sexy.” Laughed Laura, before hanging up.

 

I walked back out into the room and Nicole rolled over to face me.

“Who were you talking to?” Nicole had a sleepy grin on her face and her hair was completely messed up, yet she’d never looked more beautiful.

I grinned and climbed into bed with her, and kissed her lightly all over. 

“What? Hey! Wait! No fair. You’re distracting me.” Nicole called out trying to fend off my kissing assault. 

“But you’re so much fun to distract.” I said, brushing my nose against hers. 

“Don’t I know it.” Said Nicole.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I said.

“You’re good at distracting me.” 

“Oh yeah? Which one has been your favorite?” I asked.

“My favorite. Let’s see. My favorite was probably the time you put my hand on your breast while talking to my mom. I didn’t know you that well then and I quickly realized I should NOT underestimate you.”

“It got you smiling.” I said, sliding in next to her body.

“That it did, and shocked me out of my skull, and instantly turned me on.” Laughed Nicole.

“I was talking to Laura, making sure she can pick me up tomorrow from the airport.” I said, tracing out her collarbone.

“What?” Asked Nicole.

“See, super distracted. My call, I was talking to Laura. She thought we got married while I was here.” 

“Why would she think we got married? Too much wedding planning on the brain?”

“Nope, lesbians moving too fast in a relationship.” I said. “We forgot about that when thinking of all the ways to be big old lesbians together. We need to get a U-haul ASAP.”

“So, you’re sure about moving in with me? I don’t want to pressure you, but I do want to spend every morning waking up in your arms. We can do that at either of our places.” 

“I get what you were saying about saving money by only having one apartment. And yours is way bigger than mine, but it’s so much farther away from campus. I’m going to miss walking to everything. I almost don’t need a car living in my apartment.” I said.

“We can drive into campus together. If one of us has a class and not the other, we can always study on campus. I’m sort of hoping that if you move in with me, you won’t need to work during the year and you can just focus on your studying. Even if you can’t graduate a year early with me, maybe you can finish up a semester early and join me wherever I end up.”

“Oh, you think I’d want to join you? How about you join me wherever I end up?” I teased.

“Either way. Where you go, I go, Waverly Earp.”

“Baby.” I cuddled in, wrapping my arm around her middle. “I love you.”

 

We spent the rest of the day in the hotel room. Eventually, I packed my bag and Nicole got dressed to make sure that there were no surprises on the hotel bill. 

When she returned to the room, she held out a take-out menu for a Chinese restaurant. “The front desk clerk gave me this. He said they deliver to the hotel. Do you want to order in?” Nicole asked. “I’ll keep my clothes on, if so.”

“That sounds lovely.” I said. I didn’t want to leave the room at all. It was bad enough that I had to see my packed bag sitting by the door. 

“Remember the first night, when I first made it to Coos Bay? Making love to you felt a little awkward and new. My suitcase was left in the entry and you pressed me up against the wall.”

“Ah, yeah, I have some recollection of the evening.”

“And now it feels like we’ve found our groove.” I said.

“We’ve certainly put a lot of work into it.” She laughed.

“I don’t want to lose this. When you get back, I don’t want to forget anything about you. I want to go straight into feeling this comfortable with you. I’ve never felt like this before, where I can just be naked around someone and totally comfortable.”

“I know what you mean. I love that, too. Now let’s order some food so I can get naked again.” She opened up the menu. “Let me guess, are you hungry for tofu?” She smirked.

“Well, I already had some today, but I could always be convinced to try some more.” 

“I’d love to show you.”

“What an attentive teacher I have.” I said, rocking my hips forward, forcing Nicole to watch.

“Please don’t start something I won’t have time to finish.” She said, her eyes still glued to my pelvis. 

“Oh, don’t let me stop you.” I said, while running my hands down my sides. “Go ahead and make the call, baby. I’ll just lie here waiting for you.” My hands roamed down over my thighs.

“I have to watch?” She asked, sounding pained.

I nodded my head and brought my hands up to my breasts. “Make the call.” 

“What are you doing?”

“Looks like this may be too much of a distraction for you. No worries, I’ll just pull up the covers.” I reached down and pulled the sheet and blanket up, completely covering my body. I continued to move my hands under the blanket so that she could guess what I was doing.

“No!” She reacted, her eyes longing to see more.

“Make the call and I’ll let you watch.” I teased.

“Tell me what you want.” She said, her hands searching for her phone, her eyes refusing to turn away from me.

“You know exactly what I want. Now make the call or it’s going to get really hot under this blanket.”

“I’m making the call, see? Here’s the phone.” She held up her cell.

“Good girl. My hands are a little busy right now, do you mind pulling down the cover for me, love?” 

Nicole groaned as she reached out and slowly drew down the covers. Once my breasts were revealed, I stopped her.

“Dial the number, baby, then you get to see more.” I had my legs spread completely open and I made it painfully obvious through the blanket that I was circling myself. I moaned out for good measure.

She nodded and quickly dialed. When the restaurant picked up, I used a free hand to slowly slide down the cover. As Nicole stumbled over her order, I held the edge of the blanket tight in my hand and bunched it down just far enough to give her a peek at what I was doing. Nicole groaned out into the phone and then flushed bright red as she apologized to the person on the other end of the line. 

I decided to reward her embarrassment with a full view. I sat up and pushed myself free from the blanket. I gave her quite a view: my beasts hanging heavy by the rows of my abs, my legs spread open and my finger quickly circling myself. I was careful not to press too hard, I wanted to preserve the show for as long as I could. That didn’t mean I wasn’t hamming it up for her benefit. 

She crawled closer and hunched down to watch as she desperately tried to end her call. I grabbed her free hand and inserted two of her fingers into me. I used her hand like a dildo to fuck myself. She closed her eyes and rested her head on my thigh, biting down gently but firmly into the smooth skin. I let out a lusty moan, clenching down on her fingers. This was no longer an act, I was right there. Listening to her struggle against her own desire to place our order, knowing how much she wanted to throw away the phone and dive into me, had me riding the edge. 

“Baby, I want you.” I whispered out to her. She bit down again on my thigh.

“Fuck,” she spoke out sharply. Her eyes shot open and she looked at me pleadingly. “My credit card!” We both looked over at the other bed where her wallet lay tantalizingly out of reach. 

I couldn’t help but laugh out loud at her predicament. One hand one the phone, one inside me. Decisions, decisions. 

I pulled her fingers out of me and placed them in my mouth to clean them up for her.

“Fuck, sorry, just one second. Fuck.” Nicole cursed and tried to keep herself together. When I pulled her fingers out of my mouth, Nicole dove for the other bed, grabbed her wallet, and finally finished the phone call.

Once the call was complete, Nicole remained sprawled out on the other bed. “I really hate you right now.” 

“I know, I could feel it.”

“Fuck! Is this what living with you is going to be like?”

“I can only hope so.” I teased.

“Fuck! I’ll never be able to call them again.” She whined and then laughed. 

“Get over here.” I called to her.

“No.” She said to me, then to herself she said, “what kind of tip do I leave for that?”

“No?” I dared her. “Are you really going to leave me like this?” 

“You deserve it.”

“Maybe I’ll just take care of myself, then.”

“Oh no you don’t. If I have to wait, then you have to wait.” She looked up at me from the other bed.

“Until when?” I asked.

“Until you eat all your tofu.” Nicole sat up on the bed and started to chuckle. “Actually, I have no idea what I just bought.”

 

When Nicole returned to our room with the bag of food, her face was beet red.

“He kept laughing at me.” She gave me a stern look.

“The delivery guy laughed at you? Why?”

“Why do you think?” 

“Come on, even if he was actually on the phone with you, he couldn’t know what we were doing.”

“You wanna bet? He asked me if I had fun working up my appetite.”

“No!” My eyes shot open and and I covered my mouth with my hand.

“Yes.” She gave me a matter of fact look.

I sat there open mouthed for a few seconds. “I am so sorry.”

“I’m just kidding” she laughed at me. “He didn’t say a thing.”

I threw a pillow at her, “Ass. Get over here and feed me.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

 

After eating, all I wanted to do was cuddle back into Nicole’s arms. Again, sex felt like too much. It was getting late and we had an early morning. I remembered back to the night before Nicole left at the beginning of the summer. It was our first time naked with each other and her skin was comforting then, but in a new and surprising way. Her skin was still comforting, but now it didn’t feel shocking, but welcoming, like sinking into the perfect bath, like holding a perfect cup of tea, like snuggling up under a perfectly soft blanket. She was home. And that thought helped me drift off to sleep.

 

After a rushed, early morning departure from the hotel and an all-too-quick goodbye at the small North Bend airport, I found myself back on an airplane, holding Nicole’s small gold heart in my fingers and looking out the window at the receding coast line. 

I didn’t cry at the goodbye that time. I think a combination of being tired, rushed, and more confident in our relationship helped with that. Three weeks. That didn’t sound too bad. Only three weeks. We can easily do that. 

 

When Laura picked me up from the airport, it was already dark out. I tossed my bag in her trunk and jumped into the front seat next to her. I gave her a quick hug and a thank you for picking me up. 

“How was your flight?” She asked.

“Long, but uneventful.” I answered. “I am so ready to get home and lie down in my bed.”

“Didn’t you do enough of that this week?” Laura joked.

“Ha ha. And yes, we did plenty of that. I’m just tired of sitting in one position in a cramped space.” I said.

“I know, those long flights are tough. I’m glad you’re back, though. I only have one more week until I leave. Mack would move me right now, if I let him.”

“Is he still in town or did he go back to Chicago?” I asked and I looked over at Laura. The pale green light from her dashboard illuminated her face.

“He’s still here. He’s staying until I move. Oh, that reminds me. Since you have access to Nicole’s apartment, do you mind if we spend the night at your place on our last night? We’re donating my furniture and they’re taking everything, including my bed, the day before we leave.”

“Sure, but I’ll want to see you that night, too. What if we have a slumber party at my place. I can take the couch. You two can have my bed, as long as you promise no gross sexy stuff.”

Laura laughed. “That sounds great. You won’t be mad about sleeping on your own couch?”

“No, I’ve fallen asleep on it plenty of times. Plus, I’ll want to see you and Mack on your last night. Maybe we can have another make-over party and do up Mack.”

“Uh no, last time we did that, he gave me so much shit about it, I had to repay him in sex for a month.”

“Tell me you didn’t enjoy every minute of it.” I teased.

“Well, yes, but that’s beside the point. I hate being indebted to him.” Said Laura.

“You’re about to marry the man, but you don’t want to be indebted to him?” I asked.

“Right, when we get married, I’ll have the upper hand. He’ll be indebted to me for the rest of his life. He’ll depend on me for sex and I’ll dole it out as needed to keep him wrapped around my fingers.”

“You’re cruel, you know that, right?” I said.

“‘Cause if you like it, then you shoulda put a ring on it. If you like it, then you shoulda put a ring on it.” She sang.

“Ok Beyoncé.”

“Ooh! Can you play that song, I’ve got ‘Single Ladies’ on my phone.” Laura asked.

I played the song and we sang to that as well as a several other Beyoncé songs.

 

At a pause in our music, I tried to open up a conversation about Nicole.

“So, what do you think about me moving in with Nicole?” I asked Laura.

“I don’t know, how do you feel about it?” She returned the question to me.

“I’m excited, but a little nervous. I’ve never thought about doing something like this before. Are you worried about moving in with Mack? This will be the first time you’re officially living together.”

“Yeah, but we’ve been dating for three years and spending most of our time together, so we’ve been practically living together for at least a couple years.” Said Laura. “I’m actually looking forward to making it real. It’s like we’ve been playing house and now it’s real.”

“I feel the same way, well sort of. I mean, I feel like I’m about to play house with Nicole, but I want it to feel real. Laura, I really like her. I mean, I love her. Way more than Champ. I feel like she’s the one, and that’s terrifying and overwhelming and exciting and scary and I don’t know what else.” I paused to catch my breath. “Sometimes it feels so right and then other times I’m scared I’m rushing it too fast. But mostly it feels right. This trip felt so right.”

Laura glanced over at me and smiled. I watched her, and realized I had no idea what she was thinking. 

“What? You think I’m crazy, right?” I asked.

“I think you sound exactly like me when I think about Mack.” Laura smiled even broader. “And Nicole feels the same way about you?” She asked.

“Yes. Does that sound weird to you, it happening so quickly?” 

“No, I think you found each other at the right time. You had enough time to get over Champ, and Nicole wasn’t dating anyone either. You were both ready for it.”

“There wasn’t much to get over with Champ.”

“So, does this mean you’re full on gay now? The all-new, lady-loving, hanging out in the woods, Waverly?” Laura asked.

“I think so. I don’t know about the woods part, but I had fun that evening with Mia.” I said. 

“You need to watch out for her. She’s totally into you.” Warned Laura.

“I do not need to watch out for her, she’s not a predator. And besides, I’m not interested in her, I’m fully committed to Nicole. Mia has been really nice to me, she’s been a good friend. I don’t have any lesbian friends. People who are just friends, besides her.”

“Well, just watch out, I’m worried about her.”

“Oh please, how is this any different than when a guy friend of yours finds you attractive. Like Steve last year. He was nice and he totally thought you were cute. That didn’t bother you.” I said.

“Steve was a puppy dog, and he got me through statistics. That was harmless.” Said Laura.

“So is Mia. If you gave her a chance, I think you’d find that she’s really nice and frankly a great person to have around when someone is harassing me. You would have loved it. I think she told my manager to suck her dick or something like that.”

“She didn’t.” Said Laura, shocked.

“She did, it was great.”

Laura laughed, “Ok, I’ll give her kudos for that. That’s pretty bold.”

“Yeah, so I have something else I want to ask you about.”

“Waves, you know you can talk to me about anything. I’m here for you.” Said Laura.

“I’m thinking about coming out to Aunt Gus and Uncle Curtis after I finish with finals. You’ve met them. How do you think they’ll react?” I asked.

“Oh, that’s a tough one. Sweetie, I have no idea. I mean, they love you, so I’d hope they’d accept you being gay. But they also live in a small, conservative, farming town. Not exactly a bastion of enlightenment.” 

“I know, that’s my worry, too. But I want to come out to them before I move in with Nicole. I don’t want to hide who I am from anyone. I can’t very well move in with my girlfriend without telling my family.”

“That’s true.” 

“Do you think I’m crazy?” I winced as I asked the question.

“No, I think you’re brave. And strong. And must be completely in love with Nicole if you’d consider doing this.”

“So you DO think I’m crazy.” I sighed.

“Maybe a little, but it sounds like you’re ready. If you know Nicole is the one, and you’re ready to move in with her, telling your family is important. That would be really hard to hide.” Said Laura. “So when are you going to do it?”

“I have finals the week after this, so I was thinking about driving down on the Saturday after.”

“You know I’ll be gone by then. I won’t be able to come with you.”

“I think I need to do this on my own. But thanks for thinking of me. Nicole wants to be here, too. But I don’t know. I’m really worried that if they freak out, that’s all Nicole will ever think of them. She won’t know how awesome and loving they can be, too.”

“If it were me, I’d want Nicole with me in case they freak out. That way, you’re not alone.”

“That’s what Nicole said.” I admitted.

“She sounds pretty smart to me.” Said Laura.

“So you think I should wait until she gets back?”

“Yes.”

“I know, but now that I’m thinking about it, I just want to get it over with. I want to be done. I feel like there’s this huge boulder hanging out over my head and I’m just waiting for it to tip over. I want it to be done.”

“I get that. Maybe talk to Nicole about it. Maybe she can walk you through it from Oregon. And I’ll be a phone-call away, too.”

“Thanks. You’re the best, Laura.”

“I know. As long as you’re able to deal with my bridezilla, I’ll make sure you get through coming out to your folks.” She reached out her hand and I took it. We let them sit on the rest between us. Her hand felt warm and reassuring, but nothing like holding Nicole’s hand. It was another reminder that Nicole was my one.

 

When I got back to my apartment, I was ready to crash. I dumped my suitcase in the living room, hit the bathroom and then changed for bed. I was curled up under my covers when I dialed Nicole to let her know I was home safe.

“Hey cutie.” She said. “How was the drive back with Laura?”

I smiled as I imagined Nicole lying on her cowboy bed, talking to me. “It was great. We had a chance to really talk, just the two of us. You’re ears should have been burning because we talked about you.” I said, playing with my covers.

“Oh yeah? I hope it was all good.” Said Nicole.

“Of course, sweetie. You know what she said that was really sweet?”

“What?”

“When I talked about you and how I feel about you, Laura said I sound like her when she’s thinking about Mack.”

“Aw, that is sweet.” Said Nicole. “So what does she think about us moving in together?”

“She said that if you’re the one, then I should go for it.”

“I knew I liked her.” Said Nicole.

“She also agreed that I should come out to Aunt Gus and Uncle Curtis.”

“Yeah? What did she say?”

“She thinks I should wait for you to come back, too. She won’t be here when I’m planning on coming out, either.”

“See, she’s super smart. You should listen to her.”

“I know. It’s not that I don’t want you here. I just really want to do it, not have it weighing on me. I feel like it’s a stone sitting in my stomach and I won’t be able to eat until it’s done.”

“I understand, baby. I’m here for you, no matter what. But if you can hold out a bit longer, then I can really be there for you.” Said Nicole.

“I’ll think about it.” I paused and rolled over onto my side. “My bed is so cold without you in it. I got so used to you sleeping next to me, it feels weird to be alone in my bed again.” I said.

“I know, I feel the same way. Just three weeks.”

“Three is a really tiny number. And I have classes this week, finals next week, then you come back the week after that. So hopefully, the time will pass quickly.”

“I hope so, too. I’m going to dive right into my work at the station. See if I can get lucky a second time and make some more connections with the cold case files. Plus that will keep me away from home.”

“How are things going at home?” I asked.

“Ok, civil, but we aren’t really talking. I know this sounds weird, but I think we were both more comfortable when you were here. You were like a catalyst for us getting along. Now it just feels a little colder at home.”

“I’m sorry, sweetie. I hope these last few weeks are tolerable at home. Just keep thinking about that award.”

“That’s exactly what I plan on doing. I’ll be thinking about you and that award and three lousy weeks.” I heard her laugh.

“I miss you baby.” I said.

“I miss you, too.” Her voice sounded a little louder and I imagined that she was hold the phone closer to her mouth. 

“I should go to bed. But I love you, and we’ll talk tomorrow?” I asked.

“Absolutely, I’m looking forward to it already. Two weeks and six days.”

“Two weeks and six days.” I repeated. “Goodnight, baby.”

“Goodnight.”

 

My first week back did pass by quickly. Laura and Mack moved to Chicago, and we had a pretty low key sleepover at my place. I was a bit overwhelmed with everything on my mind to really enjoy the celebration. I was a bit harried trying to get all of my outlines complete for finals and catching up on all the work I missed during my week off. Again, I was glad I wasn’t working while trying to play catch up, it meant so much to me that I had my evenings to myself. Then, I could also take some time to research my second order of business behind finals: coming out. 

I watched tons of YouTube videos that other people made about coming out. In fact, I had to force myself to stop watching them. In a way, they actually made me more nervous about coming out to my family, rather than making me feel better. Because they were just videos, they didn’t feel real to me. They felt manufactured and cleaned up.

The only two people I felt like I could turn to with my now growing fear were Nicole and Mia. So I decided to give Nicole a call.

“Hey Baby, this is earlier than I expected. Is everything ok?” Nicole answered the phone.

“Yeah, everything’s ok. I’ve been watching coming out videos on YouTube and I’m starting to freak myself out.”

“What are you worried about?” She asked.

“Some of these videos are so elaborate or so staged that I’m not sure what to believe. And then I worry that I need to plan something big and grand, or I should write a speech or something. I don’t know. I’m scared I’m going to do it the wrong way or mess it up. What if I pick a bad way to do, and Aunt Gus and Uncle Curtis would react differently if I did it a different way...”

“Whoa, Waverly. There is no wrong way to do this. I’d say stop watching those videos and just trust your instincts. You’ve got such a warm heart, I know you’ll chose a great way to tell them.” Said Nicole.

“Thanks, but I’m kind of scared to do this.” I admitted. I could feel my hands start to shake just thinking about it.

“Of course you’re scared. That’s totally normal. I’d be more worried if you weren’t scared. That said, I know you’ll do a great job. You are so brave. If you can stand up to my mom, then you can tell your family that you’re gay.” 

I laughed. Right now, I’d stand up to a thousand Tabithas to get out of coming out to Aunt Gus and Uncle Curtis. Why did I plan to do this when Nicole wasn’t here? Some stupid bravado thing about me wanting to do this on my own and protect Nicole from their reaction. 

“Hey baby, you’re still going to be here for me when I’m done. You’ll be able to talk to me on the phone right after?”

“Of course, I’ll be waiting right by my phone, I won’t go anywhere until I hear from you. Ok?”

“Thanks, I’m just really nervous right now.”

“I understand. I was nervous, too.”

“This is going to be ok, right?”

“Absolutely. No matter what. No matter how they take it. I’ll be here for you. And we’ll deal with it. Ok?”

“Ok. Thanks sweetie. I always feel better talking to you.” I said.

“I love you. And try not to worry about it. That will just make it worse and you still have finals to get through.”

“Ugh. I know. I’m so ready to be done with this summer and have you back here and start the next semester off totally new.” 

“I know. I can’t wait to be back there, too. Even with everything going on this summer with my mom, it still doesn’t feel like home anymore. I want to be back with you and my real home.”

“Thanks, baby. What do you think about me talking to Mia about coming out? She’s the only other gay person I really know around here. I was thinking about asking her if she came out to her family.”

“I don’t know. How honest do you think she can be with you?” Asked Nicole.

“Nicole! That’s a really mean thing to say. Mia has been really nice to me. Besides, you have nothing to be jealous about, right? If anything, she should be jealous of you.”

“That’s true.” I heard Nicole snicker.

“I feel like I need to talk to other people about this, too. I think she would be willing to talk to me.” I said.

“Baby, for the record, I’m not jealous of Mia, unless it’s because she’s actually there and I’m here. But if you want to talk to her, or if you think it will be helpful, then you should do it. I trust you.”

“Thanks.” I said.

“Of course. You always have my heart.” Said Nicole.

I picked up the small gold heart from my chest and gave it a quick squeeze. “I always have you heart with me.” 

“Ok, I’m sorry, but I need to head out. I’m meeting Bryan and some of the other surfers for dinner at 7 Devils tonight. Will you still call me later?”

“Of course. It’s what I look forward to the most. I love you.” I said, quickly.

“Love you, too. Bye.” And I heard Nicole hang up. 

 

I stared at my phone for a few minutes thinking about how I should ask if Mia would be willing to talk to me about my coming out. I decided to go with a text, since it felt less intrusive and (I hoped) a little less panicky. 

WE> Hey, I was hoping to talk to you about something. I’m planning on coming out to my family, and I’m a little worried. Are you out to your family? And if so, how did that go?

I started to head back to my kitchen to make a cup of tea when I saw the tell-tale three dots on my phone pop up, meaning that Mia was writing a reply.

MT> Hi. I’m happy to talk to you about it. I’m meeting a couple friends at the new sports bar, Shorty’s. They’re all out to their families, too. Want to meet us and you can hear all our stories? I’m sure they’d be willing to share.

WE> That would be great.

MT> We’re meeting at 8. See you there. How was your trip, BTW?

WE> So much fun. I’ll tell you about it tonight.

 

I walked into Shorty’s right at eight o’clock, and I found Mia sitting in a booth with another woman and a waitress taking their order. As I approached the table, the waitress walked off and I waved at them. Both women stood up to greet me. I gave Mia a quick hug and held out my hand to the shorter African-American woman next to her. 

“Toni, this is Waverly. Waverly, this is my good friend and fellow accomplice, Toni. Toni and I go way back.”

Toni laughed at Mia and gently shook my hand. “Yes, we do, so if you need to know anything embarrassing about her,” she pointed back at Mia, “just let me know.” Toni’s dark brown eyes sparkled with mischief. 

“Hey, I have just as much goods on you as you could possibly have on me.” Mia retorted.

The two women sat back down opposite each other in the booth. I chose the seat next to Mia. 

“So how did you two meet?” I asked.

Toni furrowed her brow in thought. “It was in that American lit class.” Said Toni.

“Oh man, that professor was so boring. We had this terrible lit class together. Toni had to kick me to keep me from falling asleep.”

“Yeah, but it didn’t help that it was at eight o’clock in the morning.” 

“True.” Replied Mia.

“So are you both English majors?” I asked.

“Oh, God no. That was just to take care of the writing credit we needed, I was so glad we had each other to get through that class. It was awful. But I think Robin is an English major.” Mia said.

“Robin?” I asked.

“Oh, another friend who will be joining us. She texted to say she was running a little late.” Said Mia. 

Just then the waitress brought over two beers for Mia and Toni. I ordered an iced tea because I had my finals the next week and didn’t want to drink.

“So, Waverly, Mia told me that you’re just coming out. Congratulations! Welcome to the best team in softball.” Toni smiled broadly at me and I laughed back. 

“Actually, I have nothing to contribute softball-wise. I’ve never played before.” I admitted.

“No worries. We always make exceptions for beautiful women.” Said Toni, playfully. 

I blushed slightly. “Did Mia also tell you I’m dating someone?” I pushed back.

“Yeah, can you believe that she’s dating the Haughtbreaker?” Mia spoke to Toni.

“Hey, Nicole Haught isn’t that bad. What do you have against her anyway?” Asked Toni, pointedly. 

“Remember that time in Bullwinkles when she stole the woman I was interested in?” Asked Mia.

“Oh my God! She did not steal your woman, please tell me you’re not still mad about that.” Toni pointed a finger at Mia. “That was years ago, let it go my friend. Shea hit on Nicole, not you. Get over it.” Toni responded.

I looked over at Mia, she had a hang-dog expression. 

“Seriously, Nicole is nice.” Toni looked at me. “I like her. She doesn’t date much, though, so you must be special.” Toni smiled at me. Again, I felt a slight blush.

“Are you always this charming, or just when flirting with women in relationships.” I asked, half joking. 

“I’m not flirting,” Toni held up her hands. “I’m just stating the obvious.” 

Mia shook her head and laughed. “You have to forgive my friend, she’s a shameless flirt, but totally harmless. She’s completely hung up on another woman.”

“Hey!” Shot back Toni. “I’m not hung up on her.”

“Oh ok, so tell me again, how did you break your phone?” Mia gave Toni a shit-eating grin. 

“Shut the fuck up.” Toni looked away. 

 

Just then another woman walked up to the table. She was tall, with shoulder length brown hair and soft brown eyes. She wore a red polo shirt that highlighted the sunburn on her cheeks and blue jeans low on her slender hips. 

“Hey” she said as she stepped up to the table. She flashed a wide grin at Toni and Mia before looking down at me. “I’m Robin,” she held out her hand to me before sliding into the booth next to Toni. 

“Waverly,” I said back.

“So, just to catch you up,” said Toni. “Waverly is dating Nicole Haught and Mia is still pissed about Shea. She doesn’t think Waverly should date her.” 

“Hey, I like Nicole.” Robin looked at me.

“I never said that Waverly shouldn’t date Nicole. And of course you would like Nicole.” Mia pointed at Robin, “You have a huge crush on her.”

I was a little shocked by how they were calling each other out. I looked over at Robin for an explanation of her crush. Not that I blamed her.

“Whoa, HAD. Had a crush, like a million years ago.” Robin looked over at me and held up her hands. “I’m not trying to take your woman.” 

“I’m really not that worried.” I said back in a teasing tone. Robin smiled in defeat and nodded her head.

“Ouch!” Yelled Toni. “I like her! Where did you two meet?”

“At Bullwinkles. Her drunk-ass, straight best friend hit on me.” Said Mia.

“No she didn’t.” I shot back.

“She felt up my arm.”

“Well, you had just rescued us from a terrifying experience.” I said.

“Oh, what was that?” Ask Toni.

“There was this older woman who walked up to me and tried to ask me out.” I started.

“Yeah, it was hysterical.” Added Mia.

“So, she ambled up to our table,” I stood up and tried to imitate Large Marge. “Imagine I’m really butch.” I said.

Toni let out a snort and quickly covered her mouth with her hands. “Sorry. Go on. You’re really butch.” She bit back her laughter.

“Yeah, so I’m really butch. And this woman walked up to me and put her foot on the chair I was sitting on,” I put my own foot up on the bench where I had been sitting, “and she said, ‘I saw you lookin’ at me.’” I said in a heavy southern accent. I leaned in toward Robin. “I SAID, I saw you lookin’ at me.”

“Oh my God, how awful.” Laughed Robin. “What did you do?”

“Nothing, I was too afraid. That’s when my knight in shining armor showed up.” I smiled at Mia. “She scared her off.”

“Mia?” Asked Toni. “Way to go, stud.” She said to her. 

“Yeah, and that’s when her best friend hit on me.” Said Mia. 

“For the record, Laura is set to get married in a few months, so she was not hitting on you. Yes, she was a little intoxicated that night, and yes, she felt up your arm. But she was trying to set me up with you.” I said to Mia. 

“What?” Asked Mia.

“Yeah, she didn’t realized that Nicole and I were exclusive and she thought you were cute.”

“I take it back, Laura clearly has good taste in women.” Said Mia, smirking.

I sat back down next to her and lightly smacked her shoulder. 

“Ow,” Mia said, grabbing her shoulder. “Careful there, Butch.” 

“Shut up.” I shot back. 

The waitress returned with my iced tea and Robin ordered a beer as well.

“Ok everyone,” started Mia after the waitress brought over Robin’s beer. “I invited Waverly tonight because she has a big announcement and needs some advice.” 

Mia gave the floor to me. I suddenly felt a little scared. I knew we were just laughing with each other, but I was worried I was going to ruin the light mood, or they would think I was being stupid.

“Well, as you know, I’m just coming out.” All of them were watching me intently. “Nicole is my first girlfriend.” I cleared my throat. “And I’m thinking about coming out to my family next weekend, but I’m a little scared. I was hoping to hear how you all did it and what happened. How would you do it, if you could do it again?” My hands resting on the table started to shake.

Toni reached out across the table and put her warm hand over mine. “That’s really brave, first of all. And no matter what happens, you aren’t alone.” She said.

“That’s exactly what Nicole said.” I replied, letting out a deep breath.

“Well, she’s right. That’s a big step, and it seems incredibly scary, but once it’s over, you’re done. However they react, that’s on them, not on you. Ok?” Said Toni, pulling her hand back.

“What happened when you came out to your family?” I asked Toni.

“Well, long story short, my dad and I get along fine now, but I don’t talk to my mother anymore. My dad actually divorced my mom because of how she reacted. Well, they both reacted bad at first, but my dad came around and my mom never did.” Toni said.

“What happened?” I asked again.

“I figured that they already knew because look at me.” Toni gestured to her close cropped Afro and men’s clothing. “So I really didn’t think they would be all that surprised. But boy was I wrong. My mom acted like I had personally crucified Jesus.” Toni shook her head.

Mia laughed and spoke up, “That was my mom, too. ¡Ayyy, Dios Mio!” Mia said, clutching her heart. 

“How did you do it?” I asked Toni.

“I sat my parents down and just said it. ‘Look, I think you should know I’m gay.’ They didn’t know, however. They both just stared at me like I had l bugs crawling out of my ears. Then my mother broke down and started to cry.”

“What happened then?” I asked, terrified to hear.

“She yelled at me and told me to get out.” Toni said in a flat tone.

“They kicked you out?” I gasped.

“Well, I wasn’t living at home any more, but essentially, yes. My dad later reached out and said he’d still love me no matter what. It was about six months later that they started their divorce.” Toni laughed. “You know how they say that kids are never to blame for their parents’ divorce, well that’s bullshit. I totally caused my parents to get divorced.” She snickered.

“But are you ok?” I asked, “How did you make it through that?”

“I had my friends. I had Mia. She had a similar experience coming out to her mom, so we stuck together.”

“Like glue.” Added Mia, fist bumping Toni. 

“Were you two dating?” I asked.

“Oh God no!” Said Mia, shaking her head like I suggested she kiss her brother. Toni winced at the thought. 

“Man, that’d be so gross.” Said Toni.

“Thanks, dude.” Said Mia, giving Toni a pointed look.

“What, you were thinking the same thing.” Toni said to Mia, then turned to me. “No. We’ve never dated. Just good friends.”

“The best.” Agreed Mia.

I couldn’t help but smile. They were like Laura and I, sometimes bickering, sometimes calling each other’s shit out, but always supportive. 

I turned to face Robin. “So, you’ve been awfully quiet. Do you have a story you care to share?” I asked.

“Me, well, yes, but I had a pretty good experience coming out. As opposed to these two,” she pointed at Mia and Toni, “My mom totally knew I was gay and kept asking me about it when I was in high school. I was so freaked out that I completely and vociferously denied it, but she kept saying if I was gay, that she was ok with it.” Robin shrugged.

“You’re mom asked you if you were gay in high school?” I asked, shocked.

“Yep. And she bought me a copy of ‘Our Bodies, Ourselves’ because it had a chapter in it about being gay that was positive. She would invite over a gay friend to have dinner with us and then abandon us to finish cooking.”

“Your mom was trying to set you up?” I asked.

“No, nothing like that. I think she just wanted me to have someone to talk to who was like me.”

“Wow. I wish I had your mom.” I said under my breath.

“Yeah, me too.” Agreed Mia. 

“When I graduated from high school, she bought me ‘The Penguin Book of Lesbian Short Stories’ as part of my graduation gift.”

“What!” I practically yelled. 

“Yeah, I was so embarrassed I didn’t know what to say, but that night I read the whole book cover to cover.”

“Was it good?” I asked.

“Yeah, absolutely. There were some really great stories in it. That helped me find other gay authors.”

“Your mom sounds amazing. So what did she say when you came out?” I asked.

“She was supportive, of course. But I was dating a guy at the time and actually cheated on him with my first girlfriend. So she was asking me about him and what was I going to do. It’s funny, the one thing that she asked about was having children. She knows I want to have kids one day and she said she was sad that I’d never get to have kids if I was gay. So I told her, ‘I’m gay, not infertile.’ And she just nodded her head; that was the end of that.” Said Robin.

“You’ve dated a guy?” I asked.

“A few.” Said Robin.

“Do you consider yourself bi?” I asked.

“No, I think of myself as gay because I’m way more attracted to women than men. It’s funny, I was so picky about the men I dated, but then when I first came out, I’d date practically any woman who asked. That’s why I’m not dating anymore.” Robin raised her beer glass to her lips and took a drink, then continued. “I’m taking a break. I don’t trust my judgement when it comes to women. They’re too much of a distraction for me. I want to graduate first, focus on that, and then I can worry about dating.”

“God, that sounds healthy.” Said Toni, disgusted.

“Or chicken shit, depends on how you look at it.” Laughed Robin, leaning into Toni.

“So you’re seriously not dating at all until you graduate?” Asked Mia. “I thought maybe you were having some bad luck with the ladies. I didn’t realize it was by choice.” Mia shook her head. “Sounds a little lonely to me.”

“I still have you guys. And it’s not like I’ve turned off my libido, I’m still attracted to people, just not willing to date anyone. If I find the right person, they’ll be willing to wait for me.”

“They?” I asked. “So you’d still be into dating a man?”

“Probably not, but I’m not going to shut down the possibility. Who knows, right?” Said Robin

“I know.” Said Mia.

“Amen.” Toni raised her glass in agreement.

 

I spent the rest of the evening listening to their stories about when they first came out, their first girlfriends, and other funny, gay stories. For the first time, I felt like I was a part of a larger community, and that I belonged with the group. Also, it wasn’t because I was dating Nicole, it was just for me, because of me and who I am. I didn’t have to pretend to be something I’m not; they just accepted me for who I was. I couldn’t wipe the smile from my face the whole evening. Even though some of the stories were difficult to hear, I knew I was a part of a group that was used to being there for each other, good times and bad. It made the unknown of coming out to my own family a little less daunting. 

 

I was so excited by the conversations that night, I couldn’t wait to get home and call Nicole to share them with her. 

 

“Hey, baby! How was 7 Devils?” My voice bubbled out of me.

“Great. That’s one thing I’m going to miss when I head home, the surfing community here. I didn’t know this, but the owner of 7 Devils is also an avid surfer. He even organized a beach clean-up day here and gave away free beers to volunteers.”

“That’s great. I’m glad you found your own community. Speaking of communities, I met Mia and a couple of her friends for drinks tonight at Shorty’s.”

“Oh yeah? How’d that go?” Nicole asked.

“Great. I think you know her friends, too. Toni and Robin?”

“I definitely know Toni. Who’s Robin?”

“Oh just a friend. Apparently she used to have a crush on you. Clearly, she made quite the impression.”

“My bad. I can’t keep up with all the women who want me.” I heard her laugh.

“As long as you keep up with one particular woman who wants you.” I said, slyly. 

“Who’s that?” Nicole asked with mocking innocence.

“Me! Ass.”

“Don’t worry baby. I’ll keep up with you. And down on you.” She snickered.

“You better. But seriously. I feel so much better after talking to them. And it’s not like their stories were all sunshine and roses, but I didn’t feel so alone.”

“Hey, what am I, chopped liver?” Nicole replied, sounding hurt. “I’ve been saying you aren’t alone since the beginning.”

“I know, but you have to say those things because you love me. They don’t have to say them because there’s no chance they’ll get in my pants.”

“Oh, so you think I’m only motivated by sex?”

“No, I think you are an amazing human being who happens to get extremely distracted when I’m naked on my back with my legs open.”

“Baby, that’d be everybody’s thing.” 

“Anyway, all I’m saying is that while I’m still scared, I think I’m ready. This time next week, I’ll be out to my family.” I said.

“You’re really doing it, huh?”

“Yeah. It’s time, you know, for real.”

 

Somehow, I managed to pushed back all thoughts of coming out to the back burner and was able to focus on my finals for the next week. The week rushed by in a blur of studying. It wasn’t until Friday, after my last final, that it really hit me, I was going to come out the next day. I was really going to do it, and do it tomorrow. I suddenly sort of missed having my finals to distract me from my looming deadline. And there was no going back on it either. I ensured that by calling Aunt Gus earlier in the week to let her know I was coming home for a quick visit and that I had something important to tell them. No more hiding. It was time.

I was slowly walking back to my apartment Friday evening after turning in my last final, when I heard my phone ring.

 

“Hey baby,” Nicole’s voice poured through my phone. “How was your last final? Glad to be done?” 

“Of course. It went well, but I’m ready to move on. Big plans this weekend.”

“I know. Can I just say right now, no matter what happens, I’m really proud of you. And I’m here for you. I’m just a phone call away, no matter what.” Said Nicole.

“I know. Thank you. Maybe I’ll put you on speaker phone and take you with me.” I joked.

“You can do that. If that’s what you need, I’ll do that.”

“You’re sweet, but I think I can handle this.” I took a brave breath. “I know I can do this. And I think they’ll be ok. I think. I mean, they do live in a small farming town in the middle of the Bible Belt, but I know they love me and I think at the very minimum they’re not going to disown me. Right?”

“Right.” Nicole reassured me.

“I miss you.” I said, softly.

“I miss you, too. Hey, I was wondering, were you planning on sleeping at my place tonight?”

“No. Why?”

“Oh, well, I kinda had a little fantasy about you being in my bed and I was hoping to tell you about it.”

“Ah, I see. So would you prefer I sleep at your place and continue this conversation there?”

“It’s funny, it’s like you can read my mind.” Nicole said and I laughed.

“I’ll head over soon and then give you a call back.”

“Great, Thank you, baby.” I could picture Nicole winking at me through the phone.

I stopped by my apartment to pick up a few things, PJs and clothes for tomorrow. Then headed over to Nicole’s apartment. I hadn’t slept there since the beginning of the summer, but with the new excuse, I was really looking forward to spending the night in her bed. I knew that the smell of her in the apartment would pull me right back into our time shared in Oregon and then hearing her voice on top would be sweet oblivion. 

I parked next to Juno, who looked fine for my benign neglect over the summer, and walked up her front steps and unlocked the door. Her apartment was completely dark, but that didn’t hide the smell of her. I stepped in and turned on the living room light. The apartment looked the same. It had been a while since I’d been there. Nothing looked disturbed. I walked over to the kitchen area and got a large plastic cup from her cabinet. I filled the cup with water, eyeballing the kitchen to make sure nothing was out of order there. That was all I needed right then, to discover a burst pipe or broken refrigerator in Nicole’s apartment. I drank about half the water in the cup at one go.

I took the plastic cup in one hand and my bag in the other and walked into her bedroom.

“Hey sexy.” a voice spoke from the shadows.

I screamed and threw the cup at the disembodied voice by the bed.

“Ow! Did you throw a cup of water at me?”

“Nicole?” I asked, my heart racing.

A bedside lamp came on and Nicole appeared on her bed drenched in water and a cup on her lap. 

“Baby!” I yelled, and put my hands over my heart. “You scared the crap out of me.”

“I can’t believe you threw a cup of water at me.” She said, rubbing her head. She was sitting under her covers, wearing only a very wet, very sexy, red lace bra.

“You’re lucky, I drank half of it down before I did. What are you wearing?” I said, admiring the bra. 

“You’re thinking about my bra when you just hit me in the head with a cup of water?” 

I jumped up on the bed. “Ew.” Then jumped back off again. “Let’s get you out of the bed and cleaned up. I held out my hands to her. She slid off the bed and into my arms.

“I’m sorry I hit you with a cup.” I spoke into her ear as I hugged her.

“Full of water.”

“Baby, what are you doing here, what about your award, when did you get in?” I barraged her with questions, then I stepped back and pulled her down to look at her head where I hit her.

“Am I bleeding?” She asked.

“Nope,” I kissed the small red bump just inside her hairline. “Seriously, what are you doing here?” I asked again.

“I wanted to surprise you.” She looked sheepishly at me, rubbing her head again.

“You certainly did that.”

“Plus, I wanted to be here when you come out to your aunt and uncle. I didn’t want you to go through that alone.”

“But what about your award?” I asked.

“I told Deputy Brandon about moving up my departure date to this weekend and he rescheduled the ceremony for yesterday. I flew back today and just got in when I called you.”

“Baby!” I looked at her stunned. There were absolutely no words, so instead I jumped into her arms and kissed her. “I missed you; I’m so glad you’re here.” I said once we parted.

The water soaking her bra spread out on my shirt where I was pressed to her. 

“Let’s get you out of that bra and change your sheets.” I suggested. “Not that I don’t appreciate the outfit.” I looked at her matching bra and underwear set. I ran a finger down her chest, over the middle of the bra and down to the upper edge of the panties. “This is really cute.” 

Nicole laughed. “I knew I should have waited for you in the living room.”

 

Once the bed was changed, we snuggled in next to each other naked under the new covers. 

“I missed you. I missed this.” I said, trying to get as close to her as I could.

“I missed you, too. You have no idea.” Nicole said in between kisses down my neck.

“I think I might have an idea.” I stretched out my neck, giving her unhindered access. She rolled us over so that she was on top. “I still can’t believe you’re really here.” 

“It was so hard to keep it a secret. I wanted to tell you every night when we talked.”

“You really came home to be with me when I talk to Uncle Curtis and Aunt Gus?”

“Of course.” She stopped kissing me and rolled back. “If you really want to tell them on your own, that’s fine. I respect that, but it was important to me that I be here for you after. So I’ll sit in the car and wait down the street, whatever you need. I’ll come with you, if that’s what you need. Just tell me where you want me.”

“I want you inside me, Nicole.”

“God, you’re sexy.” 

 

I drove the two of us to my aunt and uncle’s house on Saturday morning, we had an hour drive over and I was glad for the time to collect my thoughts and consider how I wanted to approach this conversation. 

I also had to admit that I was really glad Nicole was with me. It kept me calmer to know that she was by my side. 

“How do you think I should start the conversation? Should I just come right out with it- Hey, I’m gay! Or should I try to ease into the conversation?” I asked.

“How do you ease into that conversation?” Nicole asked, confused.

“That’s just it, I have no idea!” I panicked. 

“Ok, first, take a deep breath, then imagine the absolute worst outcome.”

“Why?” I asked.

“Because, I find that these things never go the way you think they will, so if you think about the worst thing, then it won’t happen.”

“Ok, that sounds a little fishy, but the worst outcome would be they never want to see me again.” I said.

“That’s it? Come on, you can do better than that. What if your uncle pulls out his brand new flamethrower and decides it’s time to light the world on fire.” She tried to hold a straight face, but failed and snickered.

I laughed at her. “I know what you’re trying to do.” I quickly glanced over at her.

“What’s that?” She was wearing a broad smile.

“You’re trying to make me laugh.”

“And it’s working.” She put her hand on my thigh. I suddenly realized just how distracting that can be. Internally, I said a little apology to Nicole for all the times I teased her thigh as she drove, but I didn’t want to say it out loud because I was too afraid she would take her hand back. 

I shook my head and focused on the road. “What if they don’t want to talk to me ever again?” I asked.

“Then we head out, elope, and have tons of babies that they never get to see.” Said Nicole.

This brought another smile to my face. “And who exactly is going to be carrying all these babies?” I asked.

“Well, you, of course. I want them all to look just like you.”

“Me! Uh uh. I need at least one ginger baby.” I teased her.

“That’s what the sperm donor is for.”

“Nope, not good enough. I want to rub your swollen, pregnant feet and massage your aching back.” I said.

“Baby, you’re not making the argument you think you are.”

“Come on. It’s the miracle of birth.” I said.

“And I will stand right by your side and gladly accept every curse and punch you throw at me from the hospital bed.”

“Wimp.” I teased.

“Yes, ma’am.” Nicole sat back in her seat and squeezed my thigh.

“Ok, babies aside. Do you think a direct approach is best?” I asked.

“They know you’re coming over to talk to them about something, right? So I’d go with direct.” Nicole said.

“How should I say it?” I asked.

“Do you want to say you’re gay, or do you want to introduce me as your girlfriend? That might let the cat out of the bag quickly.”

I laughed out loud at the visual. Aunt Gus, this is my girlfriend and I have something I want to tell you. And then she’d respond- Is it that you’re gay?

“Actually, I kind of like that way. I’ll have to introduce you first, that will be an easy segue into the heart of the conversation.” I said. “Would you be comfortable with that?”

“Am I comfortable with you introducing me as your girlfriend? Have I told you how lucky I am to be with you? Not only am I comfortable with that, I’d be insanely proud to be introduced as your girlfriend.”

“Aw, Sweetie. I love you.” I put my hand over hers on my lap.

She gripped my fingers. “I love you, too. We’ll get through this. You’ll do great.” She reassured me.

 

The closer we got to my home, the more nervous I felt. As we pulled onto my old road, I felt my hands start to shake and sweat. Nicole noticed and ran her fingers through my hair and played with my ear. 

“It’s going to be ok. I don’t think they’ll hate you. I can’t imagine anyone hating you.” Nicole spoke softly.

I let out a deep breath and tried to calm myself as my old home came into view. “There it is.” I pointed up ahead. The house looked the same, a flat, ranch style home in yellowish-orange brick. The front door stood open, waiting for me to come home. They always left their front door open, sometimes even in the winter after replacing the screen door with a window one. I guessed that they would be sitting in the living room, Aunt Gus holding a cup of coffee and Uncle Curtis reading the paper. 

I pulled into the driveway and cut the car. I’m sure they could hear my car from the living room and expected them to pop up into the doorway at any moment. I quickly squeezed Nicole’s hand and opened my door.

Just as I was stepping out of the car, Aunt Gus appeared in the door with a huge smile and a coffee cup in her hand. She left the the doorway and was replaced by Uncle Curtis. He opened the screen door and stepped out to greet us. 

He pulled me into a big hug and said, “Baby girl. It’s good to see you.”

Aunt Gus stepped out behind him, this time without the cup in her hand. Aunt Gus hugged me next and Uncle Curtis shook Nicole’s hand without even a greeting. I heard Nicole tell him her name. 

“Who’s this?” Asked Aunt Gus, looking Nicole up and down, before holding out her hand in greeting.

“Do you mind if we get inside before I do introductions?”

“Um, sure, whatever you want.” Said Aunt Gus a little suspiciously. 

We followed them back into the house and I sat down on the worn, dark blue couch that I knew so well. Nicole sat down next to me, but was careful to give me a little space. Aunt Gus and Uncle Curtis each took a lounge chair on the opposite side of the room. This was starting to remind me of the first confrontation with Tabitha.

My hands began to shake and I could feel my stomach do jumping jacks. “Ah, so. Aunt Gus and Uncle Curtis.” I took a deep breath. “I want to introduce you to my girlfriend, Nicole.” And then I waited for their response.

And I continued to wait.

Aunt Gus and Uncle Curtis looked at me blankly, waiting for me to continue. 

“Ok?” said Aunt Gus. “Nice to meet you, Nicole.” She said hesitantly.

Then I realized that they thought I meant girl friend, when I really meant GIRLFRIEND girlfriend. 

“Nicole is my girlfriend. Like girlfriend girlfriend. Like we’re dating, girlfriend.” I tried to clarify.

Understanding dawned quickly on Aunt Gus. “Oh... wait, what?”

Poor Uncle Curtis still didn’t get it. His face was screwed up in confusion. 

“I’m gay.” I tossed out as a quick explanation. I thought it best to just get that out there, like Nicole said. No beating around the bush. 

“Wow.” Said Aunt Gus. Uncle Curtis still didn’t say anything, but his face blossomed from burgeoning comprehension to panic and confusion. 

“Is this what you wanted to talk to us about?” Asked Aunt Gus.

“Yes. I wanted to tell you and introduce you to Nicole.” I looked over at her. Nicole gave me a warm smile and nodded in encouragement. She still kept her distance, but she was close enough that if I wanted to, I could take her hand in mine. 

“What about Champ?” Asked Aunt Gus.

“What about him? He was an asshole.” I said.

This earned a snicker in reply from Aunt Gus. “Finally, we can agree about him. Does this mean I no longer have to pretend to keep an open mind about him?”

“Sure,” I said, and I laughed with the slight ease in tension. Uncle Curtis still worried me. He wasn’t looking at me now and his face was unreadable, but clearly not happy.

“So, Nicole. Tell me about yourself.” Said Aunt Gus.

“Ma’am, I’m about to start my final year at school. I’m a dual major in Legal Studies and Chemistry, then I hope to start a graduate program after I graduate next spring.”

Aunt Gus nodded her head. I couldn’t tell if this was approval or just an acknowledgement that she heard Nicole. 

Just then Uncle Curtis stood up and walked back into the kitchen without saying a word. I watched him leave the living room and my heart sank. Even if it was bad, I’d still rather hear him say something, anything, rather than getting the silent treatment. 

I looked at Aunt Gus and we passed a silent conversation between us, in which I asked if I should follow him. She nodded her head. 

I stood up to follow him and Nicole watched me, unsure what to do. I heard Aunt Gus say to Nicole, “Just give them a moment. Tell me more about yourself.”

I slipped into the kitchen. Uncle Curtis stood by the kitchen sink, his head hanging down and his back to me. I pulled a chair out of the small circular table in the middle of the kitchen and took a seat. This was the same kitchen table that I sat at every morning eating my breakfast. It was the kitchen table at which we made our Christmas cookies every year. And it was the same table where we sat to talk about college, prom, drinking, dating, every major life decision I’d made to that point. 

“Uncle Curtis?” I said tentatively.

He turned around and I could see he was crying. I stood up, unsure what to do. I wanted to hug him, but I wasn’t sure if he’d welcome it. 

He looked up at me for a second and then down at the floor and he let out a coughing cry. “Do you remember when you first moved in with us. You were six years old and tiny as a mite.” His voice broke and he pulled out a handkerchief to blow his nose. “You were standing right here,” He pointed down at the floor where he was looking, “and helping me dry the dishes. You dropped a coffee mug and it broke on the floor.” His face winced up in pain. I couldn’t remember the moment he was talking about, myself.

“You were so scared...” He continued with a quavering voice. “You looked up at me with your big worried eyes and you were so scared that you wet yourself.”

Then the memory hit me like a slap to the face. 

“It was at that moment that I knew.” He gestured to the floor where I had stood so many years ago as a little girl, frightened out of her mind. “I knew I had to be the kind of man that you could look up to. I had to be the kind of dad you should have had.” He paused to pull together his words. 

“And the one image that I could see in my mind, clear as day,” he tapped on his temple, “was me, walking you down the aisle when you got married. I wanted to be the kind of man that you would be proud to have walk you down the aisle.” He broke into a sob, and I joined him. I ran over and just about tackled him in a hug against the sink counter. He held me to him, like I was about to disappear. 

“That’s all I wanted from you. I wanted to earn the right to walk you down the aisle. I wanted you to be proud of me, proud to be my kid.” I could barely catch my breath for crying. His arms clung to my back. “Now I guess I’ll never get that chance.”

At that, I leaned back and with tears running down my face, I smacked him on his chest and yelled at him, “You dummy! I’m gay, not dead. You can still walk me down the aisle.” Then I laughed and cried at the same time as his expression became inscrutable. From behind me, I heard Aunt Gus laugh. 

I turned my head to see both Aunt Gus and Nicole standing in the doorway watching us. Aunt Gus walked over and wrapped the two of us in a giant bear hug, then looked over her shoulder and gestured for Nicole to join her. When Nicole got close enough, Aunt Gus grabbed her arm and pulled her into the hug as well. 

Nicole was absolutely right. I never could have imagined this. 

After she thought we had enough time hugging it out in the kitchen, Aunt Gus stepped back, clapped her hands and said, “This calls for a chicken dinner.”

“Oh no. No. No. NO.” I said defiantly, wiping my face.

“Oh yes, yes, yes.” Replied Aunt Gus, wagging her finger at me. 

Uncle Curtis turned to Nicole. “You’re not one of them, are you.” He gave her a hard, disapproving glare.

“Excuse me? One of the them?” She said.

“Vegan.” He came back at her.

“Oh, no. I’m not vegan.” She answered, relieved.

“Good. One in the family is enough.” He said, and Nicole tried very hard to bite back a laugh.

“I just about died the day she came home from high school and said she wanted to be vegan.” Uncle Curtis pointed at me. “I thought, what did I do wrong with this child?” He chuckled. Nicole tried to hide her laugh from me and I lightly smacked her arm. 

“So what’s with the chicken dinner?” Nicole asked Aunt Gus.

“It’s only the best restaurant in the entire world.” She answered.

I chimed in, “And they put meat on everything. Literally. Even the vegetables have bacon bits on them. I can’t eat a stinkin’ thing there.” I complained.

“But it’s family tradition. We go there to celebrate everything. Nicole eats meat, and she needs to experience Wagner’s if she’s going to be a part of the family.” Aunt Gus told me. 

I shook my head. “I guess you want me to starve.”

“I know you can take care of yourself, honey. I’m worried about feeding Nicole.” Aunt Gus said. 

“You see that, their own flesh and blood, and they don’t care, but you walk in the door a stranger and they’re worried about bringing you into family traditions.” I walked back into he living room, shaking my head and hiding my smile.

Nicole ran after me, and put a hand on my shoulder. “It’s ok, I don’t have to go, we can go somewhere you can eat, too.” She said.

I turned and hugged Nicole, laughing. She looked really confused. 

“I’m sorry, baby. This is part of our tradition. They drag me to a restaurant at which I can’t eat, and I complain the whole way. It’s tradition.” I giggled at her. “Then we go to my favorite Thai place and get something for me to eat, too.” I added.

“Oh.” Nicole still looked confused.

“You should try the chicken. Wagner’s is the best; I used to love it before I went vegan. And I’ll be fine, I’ll get Thai on the way.” I patted her chest. “I don’t want you to miss out on the experience.” 

“You guys have really fucked up traditions.” Nicole said with a smile, a little more relaxed. 

“Saddle up, ya’ll.” came the call from the kitchen as Aunt Gus tried to get us ready to leave. 

“Hey, Aunt Gus, Did you know that Nicole wanted to be a cowboy when she was little?” I took Nicole’s hand in mine as I walked her to the front door.

“Yeah, well, so did that rodeo clown you used to date.” Was her swift reply, but she winked at Nicole. I knew Aunt Gus always saw herself as a bit of a cowboy, too. 

 

We made it to Wagner’s right at the lunch rush after swinging by our local Thai place. We had to wait a few minutes to get a table in the tight restaurant. Along the front wall of the restaurant, there were taped up dozens of photos of patrons on their birthday wearing a large chicken hat and holding up a piece of cream pie with a candle in the middle. Nicole and I looked over the photos and I told her about the time I got my own picture up on the wall when I was ten and celebrated my birthday there. I was so proud of that photo; and I looked for it every time we went out to eat there. It had long since been replaced with newer photos, but I loved that they still had the same tradition there. 

We got a table in the back room that had a giant mural painted to look like a fall day out in the woods. This was my favorite room. We sat around the small, round table and Aunt Gus and Uncle Curtis bombarded Nicole with questions about herself and her family. They didn’t even flinch when she mentioned that her dad had passed away and she was working to repair her relationship with her mom. Weird family dynamics were nothing new to either Aunt Gus or Uncle Curtis and they just rolled with the stories. 

After the chicken arrived, Uncle Curtis started back in with the questions. 

“So, what do you want to do after you graduate, Nicole?” Asked Uncle Curtis.

“I want to be a police officer.” She said.

Uncle Curtis immediately put down his chicken leg and stood up, holding out his arms in a hug. Nicole looked at me for a second, then stood up and allowed herself to be embraced by Uncle Curtis. I smiled up at her. He hugged her hard and then grabbed her shoulders as he stood back.

“My brother was an officer.” His eyes were shining with tears.

“Was, sir?” Asked Nicole.

“Lung cancer, fifteen years ago. You don’t smoke, do you?” He pointed an accusatory finger at Nicole.

“No, sir.” She replied quickly.

“Good. And quit calling me sir. Curtis is fine.” He said, as they both sat back down. “Takes a lot of courage to be an officer of the law. And I like that you’ll be able to protect our little Waverly.”

“Hey!” I yelled. “I can take care of myself, thank you! And I’m not that little any more.” I shot right back at Uncle Curtis. Nicole and Aunt Gus laughed at the two of us.

“Nobody said you couldn’t, baby girl. But I like that she’s going to be trained to use a gun.” He said and put a hand back on Nicole’s shoulder. 

I just shook my head at the two of them. Unbelievable. No less than an hour before, he was crying about walking me down the aisle. And now it looked like he’d prefer to walk with Nicole.

 

On our drive back home, I smiled and reached out for Nicole’s hand. She placed the large grease-stained paper bag on the floor of the car, and took my hand. In the bag was an extra chicken that Uncle Curtis insisted Nicole bring home with her, in case I starved her of proper protein. 

“I get the feeling they liked you.” I said, looking out the windshield at the growing dusk.

“Yeah? I get that feeling, too. It’s weird, when we drove down here, I was all ready to stand up for you when they freaked out about you being gay. I wasn’t prepared for them to just accept it, or to like me.” Nicole said. “I think that made me more scared.”

“Yeah. I hoped they would accept me, but I really had no idea how they would react. I can’t tell you what a relief it is to be done with that. I feel like I’ve run a marathon.” 

“You have, an emotional one, at least.” Nicole agreed.

“And we made Uncle Curtis cry. Twice.” I giggled.

“I have never seen a grown man cry so easily.” Nicole admitted.

“Yeah, Aunt Gus used to call him John Boehner.” I smirked and Nicole snorted.

“You know what I want? I want to take a hot bath and go to bed.” I rolled my head to stretch out my neck.

“I only have a shower in my apartment.”

“Good thing I have a bath in mine. Want to go back to my place while we still have it?” I asked.

“I don’t have any clothes with me.” She said.

“Baby, you’re not going to need any.” And a sly smile grew across my face as I squeezed her hand.

 

The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have loved writing this story and I’m a little sad it’s over. But never fear- I’m working on a new Wayhaught fix- a high school AU.
> 
> Thank you for all of your support during this process. I have enjoyed every comment and kudo.


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